The 2015 Sooners Awards and Predictions

Unlike most years, I'm not going to do a final record prediction. I want the same thing everyone else wants, and I just can't see a way to put it out there seriously. I think OU will absolutely improve upon last season, that's as much as I'm willing to predict so it leaves a pretty wide swath to cover.

I will, however, put out the awards/predictions/superlatives that I enjoy (if only me).

Oldest Looking Sooner: Devante Bond

This is a new award, one born strictly out of the fact that I happened across this photo while doing my exhaustive research on the defense. If you told me this guy was once cast as "Tough Guy #2" on an episode of Hill Street Blues, I would absolutely believe you. 

TC Bread Award: Jordan Smallwood

This award needs no explanation. I sifted through the roster and found Daimler, Christian who brought us such classics as the LeBaron and Cordoba. Also in the running was punter-cum-pornstar Jack Steed. Yet no one could unseat the incumbent. Poor Jordan Smallwood.

Most Likely to Disappoint: Baker Mayfield

This is no knock on Mayfield per se, but you know the old line about the backup being the most popular player on a team. I think Mayfield fell victim to that as Trevor Knight shat his crimson pants brown last year. I do think he will be a massive upgrade (tough not to be) but I don't think he's Bradford part 2 and, for many, that will be a disappointment.

Matt McCoy Memorial Gas Rag: Jordan Thomas

I opined last season that I hope no one earned this award, Thomas did so, and as such he goes into the season currently working to lose it. Thomas was not good last season. He was the whipping boy on an otherwise subpar secondary.

Old Steady: Samaje Perine

OK, now to the real awards and the only two that really matter (editors note: none of them really matter). Samaje reprises the Old Steady award for the first time since Travis Lewis. He's one of the best running backs in the country, but he's not just a home run threat. He's a battering ram that can be counted on to get 3 to 4 yards every time he touches the ball. Hence, Old Steady.

Motherfucker: Eric Striker

Perhaps it's an indication of a drop in talent, perhaps it's that we've been lucky enough to have two elite talents emerge early and become dominant mainstays on the defense, whatever the reason Eric Motherfuckin' Striker follows Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson as the second two-time Motherfucker winner since the inception way back in 2000. Striker is an absolute menace, always playing at a speed faster than anyone around him and disrupting offenses in some way nearly every down. Eric Motherfuckin' Striker.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Your 2010 Sooner Football M.F.'er

Every year there's a player on the Sooner defense who is such a baby-eater that he must be addressed as (First Name) Motherfuckin' (Last Name). Identifying an M.F.'er has become tradition for Navin and I, a tradition which began with Roy Motherfuckin Williams and has included such luminaries as Tommie M.F. Harris and, most recently, Gerald M.F. McCoy. A tradition which now includes T-Shirts (Order yours here).

To be M.F.'er you must be well established in the Sooner program (No Freshmen). You must be ferocious. You must embody the spirit and tradition of Sooner Defense badassery. Your name cannot sound cheesedick with M.F. sandwiched betwixt your first and last name (See how Patrick M.F. O'Hara does not work?). Finally, being a "Can't miss" pro prospect is not required to earn the coveted title of M.F.'er though it makes the decision a little easier.

Based on this criteria there are only four candidates for the 2010 Sooner football season. Those candidates are Quinton Carter, Travis Lewis, Ronnell Lewis and Jeremy Beal. Let's look at them individually.

Jeremy Beal - He is well established and a beast at the DE spot. Opposing offenses will need to know where he is lined up on each play. However, he just isn't the kind of player I could discuss with Navin and have a conversation like this:

Me: Did you see Jeremy Beal out there today?
Navin: Oh goddamn! Jeremy Motherfuckin Beal!
Me and Navin, in unison and clanking beer steins: Jeremy Motherfuckin Beal!

Beal is a key to the defense but he's not the M.F.'er of this defense.

Ronnell Lewis - Ronnell Lewis will be an M.F.'er before his career is over. He is the next great Sooner Linebacker and he's cut from the same cloth as Torrance Marshall, Rocky Calmus and Curtis Lofton. Hell, he could be better than all of them.

But hype and promise are precisely why he can't be the 2010 M.F.'er. As Navin pointed out recently, you can't, "crown his ass" (invoking the voice of Dennis Green) when he's started one game in his career. This is a tough decision (and one that could be regretted) but Ronnell needs a season to marinate. This is my father-in-law's pick and if you took a poll of Sooner fans, he probably would be the leader in the clubhouse.

Travis Lewis - On paper he seems an obvious choice. He'll be a Captain. He's been in the system for a long time. He could lead the country in tackles. By all accounts he's a great teammate, human being and a sensitive lover.

But he's just not a sexy enough pick. He does everything well and none of it with flash. Perfect for any team but not M.F. material. You have to have swagger if we're going to make a T-Shirt with your name on it.

Quinton Carter - He is the headhunter of the 2010 Sooner Secondary. He's been in the system. He practices MMA in the offseason. Recently I had the opportunity to play golf with Sooner legend Joe Washington and I asked him who the badass of the Sooner D would be this year and he said Quinton Carter. Finally, Quinton Motherfuckin Carter sounds awesome. In short, the honor is his. The calling is great but the reward is T-Shirt immortality.

Enjoy these video's from M.F.'ers past:

Roy M.F. Williams


Tommie M.F. Harris


Gerald M.F. McCoy