Oklahoma Sooners vs. texas Longhorns

It's hate week, Sooner fans. The perennially overrated texas Longhorns come limping into the Cotton Bowl today after having been ranked the preseason number 1 team in college football, now unranked, and fresh off a loss to the Florida Gators last week in Gainesville. They are led by the poster child for being overrated, Arch Manning. The talking heads seem to think the Longhorns are going to lock it in and that every humiliating performace from Manning is the one that will light the fire to get him to turn the corner. Maybe they are who they are. Maybe they are coming to regret the deal with the devil they made to get Arch on campus. They are stuck. And today they are fucked.

The Sooners, on the other hand, are flying high. They also have a lot of motivation. Beyond the rivalry, they got smacked last year by the Horns and this Sooners defense must be licking its chops at the opportunity to rush this very average un-texas-like offensive line and the woefully average Arch. 

And oh, by the way, it looks like John Mateer will be giving it a go, which in and of itself, will boost the spirits of Sooner Nation. I am very surprised he's going to give it a shot. I figured the Ole Miss game in two weeks would be a more reasonable target date. Alas, this apparent Alpha doesn't want to miss this one as he understands this is why you come to Oklahoma. This is big time college football.

OFFENSE

The obvious key is Mateer. Is he truly able to give something close to 100%? We've talked about the Sooners running game being key, and it is, but in this one, the odds of victory go up exponentially with Mateer. Mikey Hawkins isn't Him. With Hawkins, the Sooners are stressed to depend on the defense and special teams to hang on and, more likely, have to come up with special play to have any chance at victory. With a healthy Mateer, you have an offense that can play keep away or get up a score or two and then leverage big plays in other areas to provide some cushion.

This will be the best defense Mateer has faced, ate least since Michigan. He has to take care of the football. Hopefully the surgery has improved JM's touch.  

The Tory Blaylock/Jaydn Ott combo doesn't have to be lethal, but they need to be respected and they need to be effective enough that the Sooners don't have to put Mateer in overly risky situations from a re-injury standpoint.

Mateer is my OPOG as long as he plays. Isaiah Sategna III is my backup. Anytime something wild happens on the field this year, it's this guy who's in the camera frame. 

DEFENSE

We're running out of superlatives for this group. They are tops in the country in total defense. They will be motivated after having given up 35 last year against the Longhorns. And they are facing the homeless man's Jackson Arnold in Arch Manning. You think you've seen these guys fly to the football all year, just wait until you see them today.

Steve Sarkisian is a crafty little fucker, though, and I'm sure he'll have a scheme designed to take advantage of our speed and aggressiveness, likely in the form of quick strikes that get a texas WR in the open field against Courtland Guillory. That's what I would do anyhow. He's the closest thing to Gas Rag McGee (patent pending) that this defense has. I say that and believe that he'll be a stud in time. Offenses have to find someone to try to exploit, though. 

They will also have to try to establish some run game and the Sooners, as per usual, will sell out to stop that. It's a simple game, really, where the Longhorns will be in serious trouble if the Sooners can get pressure with four rushers. They've been doing it all season.

I'm tempted to pick someone for my DPOG besides David Stone. If pressed to do so, I'd say R Mason Thomas, a guy who shows up big in big moments. However, I'm committed to Stone and his ability to disrupt right up the gut. He demands double teams and then is able to beat them. That's like having an extra rusher right there. Huge. 

THE SCORE

OU is bringing it's most complete football team to Dallas since the early 2000's. Those games featured OU teams with a superior quarterback and a better defense. This team is both those things plus, as we saw last week, difference makers in special teams with Sategna and quality punting and kicking. 

With Mateer being hopefully OK, Hawkins being a sub-optimal solution if not, and Arch Manning on the other side, the Sooners have what it takes to gut one out if need be. If OU can force punts at close to the rate they have all season and Sategna can flip the field position, the Sooners have a kicker and defense that can win a knife fight.

The fact the Longhorns are favored shows the extent of texas bias amongst pollsters and prognosticators. The Sooners should win this one.

Sooners 20, Longhorns 17

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

The 120th Red River Rivalry

Happy college football Saturday, Sooner fans. It's a big one today, you guys, as our beloved Oklahoma Sooners take on the deservedly reviled texas longhorns in the 120th edition of the Red River Rivalry at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. It marks the first time meeting as SEC foes, and it's already one of the top games in a conference where, "It just means more". Hopefully, it lives up to the hype.

The Sooners are 4-1 and happy to be there after an amazing come from behind win at Auburn two weeks ago. It was Michael Hawkins Jr's first start and it was memorable. MHJ was 10-15 for 161 with a dazzling two point conversion to cap the comeback after a Kip Lewis interception return for a touchdown.

Today, the longhorns come in ranked number one, a two touchdown favorite, with an 85% chance to win according to ESPN's matchup predictor. This one is going to be tough. 

OFFENSE

Michael Hawkins is the guy. The line play has been better since he took over, probably because he can read a defense and communicate what he sees. For the Sooners to win today, MHJ will need to take another big leap, so to speak, and sustain some drives. We know he can do it with his legs, and against Auburn he threw some dimes when he had to. I think to win, he's really going to have to demonstrate he can throw the ball to different levels of the defense and move it around so the Sooners can have some semblance of a running game. They have to be able to sustain drives, win the time of possession and essentially play keep away.

Also, to have any chance, it would be nice if the Sooners could get some or all of their banged up receivers and running backs. Some combination of Nic Anderson, Deion Burks and Taylor Tatum would be huge.

I'm going MHJ for my OPOG today. He's the first true freshman quarterback to start this game for OU in the entire history of this rivalry. Can he meet the moment?

DEFENSE

These boys are elite and they'll need to be today. Quin Ewers is back in the saddle for the longhorns and he obviously is the reason the horns are such prohibitive favorites. I like the Sooners chances of getting to him. Steve Sarkisian is a bit of a mastermind, I have to admit, so this one could be an epic chess match.

For my DPOG, I'll go with R Mason Thomas. This guy has that dawg in him when it's on the line. Today, it's on the line.

SCORE

Quite literally, everything has to go right for the Sooners to have a chance today. MHJ has to take another step forward. The Sooners need some key personnel on offense to be available and effective and the defense has to be their best version of who we now know they are. The Sooners need to win time of possession, keep Ewers off the field and get at least two turnovers.

Put it all together in a rivalry game and you can chuck that line out the window. If the Sooners win, it'll be a score of about 27-21

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

If it all works out, the Sooners can win 

Oklahoma Sooners vs. texas

Fellas, it's a pretty narrow path to a championship. For OU, you have to be undefeated heading into Dallas. Check. Their non-conference slate was borderline clinic. Box scores have been gaudy. Second, you have to beat texas, and third you have to handle your business the rest of the way. 

Texas, for their part, has also followed the same formula. They have handled their business and now we have what everyone wants; OU and the Longhorns undefeated for the first time since 2011. The winner is on the inside rail for the Big 12 championship. For OU, the path looks really favorable if they can escape the Cotton Bowl with a win. 

It's all in front of us now. Let's get it. This could be an all-timer. 

OFFENSE

Dillon Gabriel is for real. Let's have a little mea culpa here and admit that. He's a game manager. While he might miss something big or easy every now then, he's not killing you with dumb plays. He keeps the offense in good down and distance with his feet, too. 

The wide receivers are rounding in to form. Andrel Anthony leads the way and Nic Anderson really looks good to me. Jaden Gibson is a big target who can make catches in traffic. All these guys bring something to the table to keep the Longhorns honest on defense. 

The big question marks will be how well the Sooners can run the ball and how quickly can Dillon Gabriel get settled in. The Longhorn defensive line is going to be much bigger and better than any the Sooners have faced.

I'm going with DG as my OPOG. It's his first Red River Shootout and he's liable to be a little high strung. If he's some semblance of his typical self, the Sooners should be in business.

DEFENSE

As mentioned, the depth here compared to last year is just night and day, but the biggest difference I see is physicality. There are some dogs (dawgs?) out there looking to feast and they are going to be flying and cracking pads in this one. 

The D-line has to occupy the Longhorn line. I'm looking for guys like Adepoju Adebawore to apply some pressure on the edges. From there, it's discipline. This has been a very opportunistic group to this point. Hopefully they can force Quin Ewers into some mistakes while keeping him contained. 

The other obvious point of emphasis is stopping the texas run game. Texas can always run the ball. The Sooners have been pretty solid in this phase, but are we who we think we are? Thus far, the Sooners have been able to get off the field. Their bread and butter has been third and fourth downs. 

Mentally, I get the sense the Sooners are ready in this one. Danny Stutsman is the lynchpin of the D and he's my DPOG today.

THE SCORE

This really could be an all timer. I think this one's going to be fast and physical. I think the country is going to watch this one and see that the SEC is getting a couple teams that can hang. 

I think the Sooners are looking to have long, keep away type drives. The defense is going to absolutely fly around. 

My only fear is the Sooners are a little less tested than the Horns. However, in a rivalry game, in Dallas, this is neutralized. The Sooners are going to be ready and they'll respond when they get hit in the mouth. 

The Sooners win and beat the (narrowing) spread. 

OU 31, Texas 24 

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner. Texas fucking sucks

Oklahoma Sooners vs. Texas Longhorns

 Sooner fans, this is a bizarre situation. I understand the talent level of the first three teams the Sooners faced may not be the same as the next two but I don't know that I've ever seen a drop-off on defense the way that I've seen from when the Sooners played Nebraska and the following two weeks against Kansas State and TCU. Gus Johnson and Joel Klatt were jerking off on the Sooner defense in Lincoln. Against Kansas State they got manhandled. 

OK fine. We all knew the Wildcats are tough. I hoped the Sooners could not only match that toughness but exceed it. They didn't. They Wildcats put up almost 700 yards in Norman. 

OK fine. Surely against TCU in Fort Worth the Sooners would rebound and look coherent against, at best, a more balanced offense. Nope. The Sooners regressed again. On one play the Sooner D dropped eight on a  third down passing situation and let someone break free over the top. It doesn't matter who it was for the Horned Frogs or who got burned on defense. It was unacceptable. 

It begs the question: Are there bad apples? Bad talent? Poor coaching? All of the above?

I wonder though, if quarterback play doesn't somewhat contribute to the decline of the defense. It shouldn't, let's be clear. But, it has to be frustrating seeing your own quarterbacks sailing passes over open receivers or hanging on to the ball too long and having to go back on the field cleaning up messes.

That is not an exoneration of the defense. Dillon Gabriel has been terrible, though. I imagine if you broke down tape and judged passes that 8 times out of 10 should have been completed, the OU offense looks completely different. And a completely different offense take the pressure off the defense, etc.

Make no mistake, though, there are real problems. There are way too many penalties across the board. There are way too many defensive lapses. And the offense can't stay ahead of the chains.

Now here comes Texas. Perpetually overrated. They can lose any game they play. And yet, it feels as if this season is already lost. It may be. Dillon Gabriel probably isn't going to play. Even if he did, he's clearly not on a level the Sooners are accustomed to. 

What the fuck is going to happen this Saturday?

OFFENSE

Dillon Gabriel is probably out. It sucks, but fine. He's been pretty piss poor. Sooner fans rightly should be concerned that he was named the starter before he attended his first kegger and it was because of what was behind him. Davis Beville filled in after DG was concussed on a vicious hit at TCU and he was not good. He held on to the ball too long. He was 7 of 16 for 50 yards.

OK, so, the Sooners have played three QB's in practice this week not named Dillon Gabriel. Can one of them be solid enough to win the Red River Rivalry?

My OPOG is whoever plays QB, whoever plays the most snaps and whoever gains the confidence of the offense and the defense, if that's even possible.

My guess, and 100% pure guess, is that it will wind up being General Booty. He has playing time under his belt at at least a college level unlike Nick Evers. And he's not Davis Beville or Dilllon Gabriel.

I mean, that's really the best I can hope for.

DEFENSE

I honestly can't recall a faster fall from grace then the drop-off from the Nebraska game to the TCU game.

Now, you face a Longhorn team that has a first class running back. Okay, so the Sooners sell out to stop him. What if they can't? A legit question. This is a team that dropped 8 on third and long and still let someone leak out over the top for an easy score.

What is on  the table that is positive for this Sooners team on defense? They get no pressure on the QB, cause no turnovers and are tackling poorly. It's a mess.

Obviously the Sooners have to stop Bijan Robinson. If he gashes for 6.8 yards the Sooners are fucked.

For traditions sake I will take Danny Stutsman for DPOG but I don't think anyone is worthy.

THE SCORE

I've listened to a lot of arm chair quarterbacks say that this will be blowout one way or the other. I hate to say it but I'm not sure the Sooners have enough on either side of the ball, particularly at QB, to get the job done. 

That said, the Longhorns can lost any game they like. If the Sooners can bottle up Robinson to the tune of 3-5 yards per carry and they can manage to put the Longhorns into predictable situations and they can get lucky with whoever is at quarterback, then maybe they pull off a miracle. 

I don't think it's gonna happen. But, if it does, the Sooners can win 27-24 or something very close.

These are two teams who are wounded, not particularly good, and desperate for something positive. It could be pretty entertaining. But the difference is the Sooners don't have anything remotely close to Caleb Williams under center. That's tough to overcome. 

Sooners 27, Longhorns 24

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Oklahoma Sooners versus texas Longhorns

Fuck texas

The 5-0, still undefeated Oklahoma Sooners take on the abysmal and off-putting texas Longhorns in the Red River Showdown today at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas Texas. The Sooners are the ugliest 5-0 team in recent memory. But they find ways to win and must do so again today against a texas squad who, if nothing else, will attempt to run the ball down the Sooners throats all day.

OFFENSE

Spencer Rattler showed flashes of brilliance last week against K-State by putting up some gaudy completion numbers. If the offensive line can hold up today I look for him to be solid yet again. By solid I mean #52 redshirt senior Tyrese Robinson needs to pull his head out of his ass. He more or less had a penalty flag stuck in his ass crack all last week.

If the line can hold then perhaps the Sooners can establish a running game. Pundits seem to think this is the missing link to the Sooners being dynamic on offense. 

In this game I always like to pick someone lesser known to step up. Today I'm going with Brayden Willis. He was targeted a few times last week and is a big target that makes for a good safety blanket. 

But the key today is that line and their ability to be aggressive and not commit dumb penalties.

DEFENSE

The texas quarterback seems to be shaky as hell. That's good news. The bad is that shakiness is overcome by brick shithouse running back Bijan Robinson. Obviously the Sooners need to stop him first, second and third. This will stress the db's because you know the Longhorns will try to go over the top.

The Sooners will have to get an INT or two to assure victory methinks. 

Also, the Sooners need to be better at getting off the field. Last week was a mess in the respect. It reminded me of a youth baseball pitcher who perpetually gets to a 3-2 count only to walk the batter. The Sooners need to be better at the point of attack and it will difficult to win that battle against Robinson today if the initial tackler can't at least slow him down while others come to help.

Today I'll go with Nik Bonitto simply because on this side of the ball I have to go with our best on a big day. 

THE SCORE

This is one of the few games you don't have to worry about the Sooners being as excited to play as the other team. If they bring that expected intensity and focus to this one it should be a long day for the Horns. They just have more holes on both sides of the ball than do the Sooners. But the Sooners have shown they can play down to any level necessary to make for a close game. 

I pray that Tyrese Robinson has been removed from the line and that Spencer Rattler enjoys the throwing lanes he had last week. That will be the difference.

Sooners 31 Texas 24

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Oklahoma Sooners versus Texas dba the Dr. Pepper AT&T Red River Shootout

The two programs solely responsible for the financial viability and national reputation of the Big 12 conference find themselves squaring off today in a race for the bottom of the Big 12. The Sooners (1-2, 0-2 Big 12) are coming off back to back disastrous losses to Kansas State and Iowa State and are staring into the void and struggling to find their purpose in a season that is on the precipice of becoming truly meaningless. 

The Longhorns (2-1, 1-1 Big 12), as per usual, are shithead assholes. Let's get that out of the way. Predictably, they were overrated to start the season and rode a victory over the Miners of UTEP to a top 10 ranking before throwing it all away against TCU last week. They aren't out of the top 25, though, because we live in a world where we're a month into the "season" and Ohio State hasn't played a game and is ranked number one.

So today is a chance for both teams to try and course correct and provide some glimmer of interest for the remaining campaign. It could actually be a pretty entertaining game from that perspective even if the national implication is pretty much zilch.

OFFENSE

The Sooners best defense today needs to be the offense. Sooner Nation has become accustomed to the high scoring, quick strike Lincoln Riley offenses and I am certainly not implying the Sooners should purposely take this off the table. However, the defense sucks so horrifically that the Sooners need to find ways to extend drives and hang onto the ball. Some of Lincoln Riley's best work is when he takes eight minutes off the clock and sucks the soul out of opposing defenses. Not only would this help the Sooners today but it could be big for the development of Spencer Rattler. 

That said, I would love to see a wide receiver break out in this one. It would be awesome if that wideout was Charleston Rambo but I think Marcus Mims is the better candidate. The Sooners need to find ways to get him quick catches, in space, and let him pick up yards in chunks. He's my OPOG.

DEFENSE

Prepare yourself now for pain and frustration. I see Sam Ehlinger in my fever dreams carrying the pile for first downs early and often. 2nd and 4? He'll run for 6. 3rd and two? He'll get three. Much like Coronavirus, you can wish it away all you like but it's coming and the Sooner D is playing like a person wearing a mask like a chinstrap. 

Forget one on one tackles, the Sooners need to, at a minimum, slow down the ball carrier at the point of contact. I'm talking baby steps to mediocrity here. Just slow them down and let the cavalry arrive. To add to the complexity, the Sooners need to be very aware of play action and not be too aggressive attacking the line or we'll be seeing the same plan I just laid out for Marcus Mims being deployed against the Sooners.

Still no DPOG. 

THE SCORE

Hey everybody I'm expecting the worst and hoping for the best here. Can the Sooners win? Of course they can because Texas is second to none in undershooting expectations and are the most perennially overrated team in the history of college football. But the Sooners have proven on the field this season that they are more than capable of pooping down their pants legs without having a spare pair of undies in the locker room. 

The Sooners need some one, or group of someones, on both sides of the ball, to step up and take control. It can't be the coaches or the gameplan or the environment of a rivalry game or any other magical thinking. The guys on the field need to take a step forward today. There's no better game and no better opponent to find yourself than the Longhorns and the Cotton Bowl.

::Puts on crimson-colored glasses:: I'm going to say Sooners 28, Longhorns 24

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Oklahoma Sooners versus Texas Longhorns

Good morning Sooner fans and welcome to the biggest day, so far, of the college football season. It's the Red River Rivalry and, thankfully, there is a lot on the line in this one. Let's dive right in.

The Sooners can remain undefeated this far into the season for the first time since 2011 and are looking to prove that the defense is worthy of some ballyhoo. A win places the Sooners firmly in the drivers seat.

This is must-win for the Longhorns. A loss might not cost them a shot at the Big 12 title but it eliminates them from any CFP consideration. A win and they are very much in the hunt and the national media will be more than happy to push that narrative. The prospect is nauseating.

OFFENSE

The Sooners have to negate the physicality of the Longhorn defense and take advantage of the apparent injuries in their secondary. I would normally think time would be well spent pounding the ball on the ground to negate blitzes and keep defenders honest. More likely the Sooners stick with what's been working and utilize some play action (RPO in the parlance of our times). If the secondary is the weakness and you have the likes of CeeDee Lamb and Charlston Rambo then, by all means, drop bombs early often.

In any case it depends on the offensive line. They are penalty prone, particularly Eric Swenson. This unit has to step up today. Play time is over. There are some dirty players on that Texas D and they cannot be allowed to push people around. The line has to set the tone and be able to match that physicality.

I believe in Jalen Hurts and he'll be cool as ice but he can't do it alone today. It will be interesting to see what his running game looks like today. I think it will be fairly limited. For my OPOG I'm going Rhamondre Stevenson even though I just talked about passing. He fits the mold of a "didn't see that coming" breakout which happens a lot in this game and he's a big play threat any time he touches the ball.

DEFENSE

Alex Grinch and his defense have to be licking their chops. Here they are, showing steady improvement this season, and now with an opportunity to make a legit statement. The Longhorns are more offensive than offensive juggernaut but Sam Ehlinger is a googly eyed media darling and the Sooners have been letting mediocre teams look good for years. The narrative can change today.

I anticipate an uptick in pre-snap movement from the D. I don't think Ehlinger can adapt and make quality reads. I also don't think he'll be able to get away from outside blitzes when they come. The key for the Sooners, surprise surprise, will be the front four. Texas will try to pound the ball and play keep away. This is the exact area that the Sooners have shown the most improvement this year. Texas would be dumb not to test it but even dumber not to have a Plan B.

You know I'd love to go with Neville Gallimore for my DPOG but I shall not. Instead, I'll go with Kenneth Michael Murray. As I sit here typing I am envisioning Alex Grinch finding new ways to use him. He can be a lethal X Factor if an offense doesn't know where he's going to be from play to play. Nobody besides Bookie Radley Hiles in this defense is able to do this like KMM and I'd rather see KMM do it than Bookie.

THE SCORE

I am very concerned about the Sooners offensive line and the physicality of the Longhorn D. The Sooner D has proven thus far that they can force some punts and get the offense back on the field. I like the Sooners getting out to an early lead. The key will be keeping the hammer down because Texas will not quit.

In the end I like the Sooners going away (can you believe it?) and sending a big statement to talking heads. OU has an opportunity, as mentioned, to be undefeated deeper into the season than they have been since 2011. I like the odds of a Heisman front-runner against a depleted defense and revamped Sooner D with everything to prove.

Sooners 34, Longhorns 17

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner!

Oklahoma Sooners vs. Texas Longhorns - The Big 12 Championship

It's the Big 12's wet dream cum nightmare; The conference's bell cow flagship schools playing on the national stage for a conference championship and yet, if Oklahoma loses, the Big 12 is shut out of the playoffs. Let's worry about that later and enjoy this for what it is. A second helping of the best rivalry in the conference, a chance at revenge for OU and a closing argument for Kyler Murray's Heisman bid.

This one will be a slug fest for the ages. Get your pepto, squishy balls, sniffing glue, booze or whatever you need. The Longhorns have nothing to lose and would love nothing more than to play spoiler to their arch rivals playoff hopes. The Sooners have to win and even that may not be enough to get them into the playoffs. They need to look good doing it. This, coupled with their historically awful defense, means the Sooner offense is going to be petal to the metal all day. There is no such thing as scoring too many points.

OFFENSE

I envision a greedy and aggressive Texas defense getting abused by misdirection and quick strikes. Murray will pick his spots to make some big gains. Marquise Brown might get 200 yards again.

The key, as always, is to not fumble the football. Murray might throw a pick and you have to live with that. But the fumbles are killers.

If Kennedy Brooks is remotely close to his usual self that bodes well for the Sooners. If Lee Morris and/or CeeDee Lamb are prominently involved that bodes well for the Sooners.

For OPOG I'm picking Kyler Murray the rest of the way. I think he deserves the Heisman. Nobody means more to their team. No team playing today needs their best player to perform more than the Sooners need him.

DEFENSE

We live in a world where a defense can give up 700 yards and still say it deserves much credit for a victory. Such was the case for this beleaguered unit last week against West Virginia. Texas has a few impact players on offense but are nowhere near as dynamic as WV.

The key to me is rocking Sam Ehlinger's world. So help me God if he has repeated success with that stupid draw play the Longhorns torched us on in October.  I'd love to see the Sooners commit to shadowing Ehlinger  and blitzing early and often from different positions all the time. Take chances. If your defense is shit and sitting back is ineffective, then why not? Speaking of nothing to lose...

For DPOG I'm going Caleb Kelly. For some reason I believe Ruffin McNeill is on the same page as me and will have the LB's shadowing Ehlinger and trying to light him up. He's as capable as any and frankly is due for some personal redemption.

THE SCORE

I like the Sooners here 56-49. It'll be two teams who hate each other slugging it out and the nation's best offense coming through yet again.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Big 12 Championship

After yet another week of winning a game they probably shouldn’t have, the Sooners find themselves on the cusp of another Conference Championship and, with a little help, the college football playoff. It’s a testament to Lincoln Riley and his offensive genius that this is even happening. Let’s face it, OU has no business being in the playoffs. Anyone with a defense that terrible shouldn’t win their conference even…which they might not still.

The longhorns dealt OU its only loss a few weeks ago. As much as I hate losing to anyone, let alone texas, the lone silver lining was that it resulted in the firing of Mike Stoops. This move was approximately 3 years later than was reasonable. Much to my chagrin, the defense got no better and possibly (is it possible?) worse. On the few plays where he wasn’t throwing to a wide-open receiver on 3^rdand 12 for 18 yards, Ehrlinger looked like Larry Csonka circa ’72. It was a maddening, yet tidy microcosm of the Sooners defensive 2018. Despite the thirst for revenge, a repeat today will surely net the same results.

Offense

The previous iteration of this game was probably Kyler Murray’s second worst performance of the year (I think texas tech is easily first). A costly fumble and a failure to get the offense moving until desperation time in the 4^thput the Sooners in a position they can ill afford to be in: one where they are depending on their D. I think Murray does a much better job today of coming out and putting the Sooners in the lead where they can dictate rather than try to play catch-up. I like Murray again this week for my OPG.

Defense

I didn’t get to watch much of last week’s game but I did see that when they weren’t doing a Roger Dorn olé impression, they actually forced a couple of turnovers. It ended up being the difference in the game. I’m certainly not counting on it, but I’m hopeful that OU can get the texas punter on the field earlier than the 3^rdquarter this time, even if it’s only once or twice. I’m picking Curtis Bolton today, he’s no world beater but he seems to play hard, and hopefully that’s enough.

Score

This is a big one. I won’t be able to watch today due to a lack of internet/American tv broadcasts, but I’ll be checking the score as much as I can. At this point, if it’s anything other than a shootout then it’s probably bad for OU. I think the revenge factor is on high, and OU does enough to win another conference title while paying back texas at the same time (you can have your stupid golden cowboy hat). Sooners win another track meet, 56-52.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin’ Sooner

texas

This is a big one today. No matter the stakes as they pertain to the national picture, this game gets me more fired up than any non-playoff game. I'm guessing that's true for most of Sooner nation. For the first time in a while (a more definite time frame would require 3 seconds of effort) both teams are ranked in the top 20. After stumbling to a respectable Maryland team, texas has rattled off nothing but wins. But as I was discussing this with my friends Mark and Mitchy, neither of them were too impressed with the opponents. "Who the fuck is T C U?" was asked incredulously. Nonetheless, I'm predictably nervous in this one.

texas always plays OU tough and last season they were about the only defense to really contain Riley's high-flying offense. Expect more of the same today. The O/U is 60.5, I think given the competitiveness of this game I would take the under there. Yes, that's probably giving undue credit to the Mike Stoops powder puffs, but I'm optimistic they'll do something resembling a defense. Either way, I'm hoping the OU can do enough to get out of this game with a win.


Offense

This is Kyler Murray's first and, likely, only Red River game. Everything I've read about him (read: very little) indicates he won't be the least bit intimidated. Up to now he's basically duplicated Mayfield's Heisman winning season from last year; the numbers are pretty uncanny. But, I think the atmosphere gets to him some and he has, by his own standards, an off day today. Even though I still like him to make several improv plays that delights OU and infuriates the texas faithful. That rambling diatribe somehow leads me to my pick, Trey Sermon. I think this game is more of a slugfest, and even though it's a timeshare backfield, I still like Sermon to do most of the heavy lifting in this one.

Defense

While the OU defense has been embarrassingly soft this year, particularly up front, the linebackers have done a pretty respectable job. Both Kenneth Murray and Curtis Bolton have been tackling machines. I think texas hits a few big plays on the secondary, but I think when it comes to crunch time that the LB's step up, and I like Curtis Bolton as my dpg today.

Score

Not to go all Lee Corso on you (I don't know how to type slurring), but I think this one is closer than the experts think. OU is giving 7.5 and I already mentioned that I would take the under. In spite of the Sooners juggernaut offense, I think they struggle to score against a texas team with plenty to prove. While I struggle to stay conscious during this one due to 80% of my blood flow diverted to my O-ring, OU wins a squeaker 19-17.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Oklahoma Sooners vs. Texas Longhorns

It's Texas week. 'Nuff said.

The Sooners, fresh off a gutty home win against West Virginny, head down south to Dallas and the Cotton Bowl to face a Texas team that, frankly, seems on the brink of imploding. How sweet it would be for the Sooners to deliver the boot that knocks the Horns over the cliff.

All signs point towards a thorough beat down. These are two teams on different trajectories. The Sooners on offense might not be a juggernaut but they are relentless and have yet to peak. Defensively, I am starting to believe. Texas doesn't play very well on either side of the ball and their defense seems to be getting worse the deeper they get into Big 12 competition. The Sooners have cracked the top 10 and might be deserving. The Horns, well, they might be top 10 in Texas.

However, this game being a rivalry anything can happen. The Sooners could just as likely give the ball up five times and crap down their trouser legs for four hours. Texas could make solid decisions and control the action. Charlie Strong's job may not be in jeopardy but a win against his biggest rival could wipe out the sting of a few bad losses. Texas's wunderkind QB Jerrod Heard also leads the team in rushing. Any long time reader of this space (and if you've watched a quarter of Oklahoma football over the past decade) can tell you that this does not bode well. This game is all about players stepping out of the shadows into the spotlight and right now there's nothing but shadows in Austin. Adding insult to injury, even Bevo is so critically ill he can't make the trip.

This year is different. Oklahoma teams of the recent past have had a noticeable lack of leadership on the field. Occasionally a single play can mind fuck them so hard the whole team unravels. That isn't the mentality with this group. If you can make the case that Texas has nothing to lose and that makes them dangerous I think you could also say that the Sooners have everything to gain. For the first time in years it feels like they actually understand this and are prepared to embrace it. This is a business trip for them.

OFFENSE

The offensive line concerns me. I have that nagging feeling that someday it's going to cost them. Not in this game but down the road. If they could only improve marginally there's no telling how far this team can go. You can't survive a season of Baker Mayfield running for his life as soon as the ball is snapped. And you can't take control of a game against the big boys with the running game in its current condition. To hell with making holes, the O-Line has allow either Mayfield or a running back to have time to make a choice.

The Texas D-line is trash so naturally you can expect them to get some push. I don't know if you  counter this with quick passes, straight rollouts or what. I do know I'd ditch the QB run on the 3rd and longs. It's too predictable. And I'd definitely try to get Mark Andrews involved in the passing game. All that guy does is make big plays.

In fact, here's who you need on the field as often as possible (in addition to Mayfield, obviously). Joe Mixon, Sterling Sheperd, Mark Andrews, Semarje Perine. Two of those four need to be on the field at all times. A total absence of any of them for prolonged periods is asinine and over thinking. You can get them rest without being cute. This is college athletics after all where athleticism rules and these guys are too young to get tired.

For my OPOG I'd love to go Mark Andrews. Someone unexpected always steps up and as I mentioned he just makes big plays. But I'm going with Semarje Perine. A big game from him would be a bit unexpected just because he hasn't been able to get into a rhythm so far this year. It's a bit foolish on my part though because for some reason I still expect Lincoln Riley to give a mouse fart about the running game and I don't think he does. But what the hell. Perine could bust out in the passing game as well.

DEFENSE

I'm starting to believe. If you take away some dumbfounding penalties last week, I'd have to say the D played about as well as you can hope against a quality spread offense. There were some breakdowns to be sure but this team seems to understand that a football game is a long slog and one play here or one drive there need not dictate the rest of the day.

I couldn't have been more surprised by Jordan Thomas's play, particularly early on. Evidently he is not interested in being 2015's Gas Rag McGee award winner. It's great to see. Mikey Stoops also threw a curveball when he said Devante Bond and Eric Striker wouldn't be playing much together. It seemed like they were on the field plenty together last week. Again, with the best athletes on the field mantra.

Speaking of Striker, good Lord did he come to play. How wonderful would it be to see him just make Jerrod Heard's life miserable?

In light of this desire and this being a big game I have to go with Eric MF Striker for my DPOG. He's forcing a fumble just watch.

THE SCORE

The Sooners understand the situation. They have a certain something they've lacked in year's past. It could be as simple as maturity or awareness. It could be something more. It's a little too early to tell. But, whatever it is will outweigh the nothing to lose mentality the Horns will be bringing and this one will go as predicted.

The Sooners will be steady eddy on offense and the D will play solid and without the boners from last week. This one is predictable in the most delightful way.

Sooners 35, Horns 14

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

Texas

As you may or may not have heard, the Sooners play their arch rival tomorrow the texas longhorns. If you own a TV, radio or have left your home in the last 4 weeks, it's also likely you know that texas hasn't been very good this year. There is apparently quite a lot of conflict within the team. It seems the upper classmen don't like the lower classmen and vice versa. I could give a shit.

texas is talented, though they have (according to Mel Kiper types) a dearth of nfl prospects with not one player expected to be drafted next spring. That said, they come in with 2 losses (OSU and Cal) that very easily could have been wins had their special teams not turned the inside of their unis burnt orange. The Sooners should win this game, they are better in all phases. However, anyone who has watched this series over the years knows, anything can happen.  The blowouts only seem to happen when they are unexpected (I took 2.3 seconds to think about that last statement). With nothing else to play for, this is the season for Ut.

Those that know me personally know I only like burnt orange in one capacity, my nether regions. They also know I expect the worst nearly every week. I am nervous about this. After TCU publicly fisted them last weekend, the masses expect a repeat. I don't see a demolition, I think this will be tough.

Offense

Man, Baker Mayfield is making it awfully hard for me to not pick him every week. He's been stellar nearly every game. Mixon has been spectacular, but seems to have angered someone as he routinely sees about 4 snaps a game. Perine has been relegated to the football equivalent of a closer. I just have to go with Mayfield this week. He's been great and I think he continues to extend plays this Saturday and carries the Sooners again. 300+ yards and he accounts for 4 scores.

Defense

Big stage for the defense against a mobile quarterback. This one will be up to the front 4 to contain the Q and apply pressure. I've been all over the place with my picks on D and so far I don't think I've even come close yet. That changes Saturday. Eric Motherfuckin Striker takes the field for his last taste of Bevo (not beaver, presumably he'll taste more of that down the road). He was an absolute menace last week and I think he carries it over. 3 sacks, tackles by the shitload and a turnover.

Score

The spread I saw most recently was OU by 17.  I don't quite think the Sooners cover. I think it is a somewhat ugly game, but the Sooners do enough to make the sphincter relax by 1:30 or so. For my man RP I think the Sooners put up 40, texas 27.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

Red River Rivalry

The Red River Rivalry

Not to be overconfident because, "You can throw out the records in this one" and yada yada but is this the last RRR for Mack Brown? I mean, I don't think they'll can him mid-season. But if the Longhorns lose, however badly, is this the death knell for ol' Mack? If the horns win, does it save his job? Does it provide enough of a glimmer of hope for Longhorn Nation to see if ol' Mack can bring back the bygone magic of the Vince Young days with [Insert name of freshman QB wunderkind here] ?

I wouldn't care a whit except I like whipping Mack Brown's ass. I love his nasally, over-protective post game pressers. I am also scared shitless of an Art Briles Texas Longhorn offensive juggernaut. Don't want no part of it. I like the status quo here.

Now I don't like it enough to stomach a loss to the horns this week though, you understand. No sir. I want to absolutely pistol whip these sonsabucks. But I just wonder if I had my way and the Sooners go PlayStation on the Horns, have we seen the last of Mack? It's sad to think about really. I'm not sure I want to live in a world where Mack Brown is patrolling the Georgia Tech sidelines.

OFFENSE

My favorite aspect of this game is the Cinderalla Story who comes out of nowhere and ensures himself, at worst, a future at an autograph table at Joe Cooper Ford some Saturday during Ford Truck Month. Last year Trey Millard played the role. So far this season, Josher seems happy making sure those RRR highlights are the only memories of Trey we'll have.

So who will it be this year? I couldn't tell you if the Sooners have had a tight end on the field this year or not. So that would be the longest shot. I can't even name a TE and I won't bother looking it up. Somebody like LaColtan Bester would be a good choice. He seems to be solid if forgotten after that fumble against West Virginia. I think the best choice though is someone like Roy Finch. He's the perfect candidate because he's the kind of player you can move around (a la Millard) and get involved in a lot of different ways. Most importantly, Josher can do this with a lot of NEW formations and plays. They could even go back to that little shuttle pass that worked so well with Q back in the early aughts. Who else can make that kind of play?

So my choice is Roy Damn Finch. Related: Notice I didn't mention the texas D? That's because they're terrible and if that one guy hadn't done some shithead hit on an Iowa State guy last week there'd be nothing at all with the D to talk about.

DEFENSE

Boy, the loss of Corey Nelson hurts. Speaking of Cinderella stories.  Until now, Co. Nelson's career has been more balleyhooed and underwhelming versus coming from nowhere but finally this year he was starting to make believers. In fact, he was a total beast. And now, season over.

No time to cry though. Fuckin-A we got a game to play here. I really like the idea of a Mikey Stoops defense causing Case McCoy's eyes to go all Marty Feldman.

I'd love to pick Dominique Alexander here just out of solidarity for his fallen bro but I can't. But I'm such a firm believer in the Sooners rattling Case that I do think one Chaz Tapper is going to "go off". You want to talk about pleasant surprises? You want to talk about Beast Mode? Let's talk Chaz Tapper.

THE SCORE

Well I like the Sooners big here but all cliche aside I'll be pleased with a 1 point win. Me and the lady are going to the game for the first time (for me) since 1996. I need a Sooner victory. I've earned a Sooner victory.

Realistically, the texas D is pathetic. Our O will be fine. Our D will be "turnt up". We will, in fact, dominate.

I like the Sooners here in a great way. OU 35, texas 14.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner!

OU - Texas

It's cliche in College Football to say that every week matters (thanks, ESPN) but this year's Red River Rivalry game (henceforth dba RRR) alters the course of the season for both teams. For the Sooners, a win against the 'Horns means the K-State loss goes from ominous portent to ghostly apparition. The winner remains relevant across the college football landscape. The loser spends the rest of 2012 playing for pride and trying to avoid the Holiday Bowl.

National implications aside, nothing feels better than beating these scumbags. I'd love to hate these guys even more but this year they are too generic. They're Texas corn-fed football 'bots. Of course their fanbase is laughably smug. But the 2012 version of the Horns isn't despicable because they're so good the way Alabama is. Nor are they universally loathed for being actual assholes the way USC is. No one stands out enough athletically to hate them out of jealousy. I'm just happy that for 100 years before and after this Saturday the Horns suck and they're fun to beat in anything.

Let's get down to brass tacks.

OFFENSE

Last week's spanking talked Sooner Nation off the cliff. There's a lot of Bro's who deserve game balls but I have to single out Landry. He threw some really nice balls and made some great plays. I hope his performance stemmed more from his gaining trust in the O-Line and receivers more than Tech's D being terrible. And, obviously, I hope we see the Lonnie from last week show up this week.

Dammit, Good Lonnie will show up this week so let's assume the much ballyhooed Texas D is above average at best. The Sooners, if the O-Line can keep their pads on somebody, should be able to score some points. Each week a new weapon is revealed by the Sooners (Durron Neal as a for instance last week) making it harder for defenses to take away options.

This week the Sooners add to the war chest. This Jalen Saunders fellow makes me giddy. It's unreasonable to expect anything from him. Nonetheless, it's nice to have his skills available and this is the type of game where bit players can have huge impacts.

For my OPOG I'm going with Kenny Fuckin Shitbag. I'm climbing aboard the bandwagon of believers. He lives the RRR, he loves the RRR, he's bigtime in the RRR.

DEFENSE

It seems like for the umpteenth year in a row I ain't skeered about anyone on the Longhorns Offensive depth chart. Likewise, for the umpteenth year they have a Shipley and McCoy on the roster.

The key to me on defense is going to be slowing down this David Ash rascal. He's been firing laserbeams with a nearly 80% completion rate. It's been like skeleton drills for him. So the Sooners have to find ways to make him uncomfortable.

Last week the Sooners were hellbent on getting to Seth Doege. The same strategy applies here. Ash can't be allowed to sit back and pick the D apart. The D-Line probably won't be able to get enough pressure by itself (although Casey Walker played really well last week). So blitz blitz blitz. In fact, this should be the Sooners calling card going forward.

In keeping with the them of bit players standing out I'm going out on a very thin limb for my DPOG pick. R.J. Washington. Here's a young man, a Senior, who's never really lived up to expectations and is now playing in his final RRR. So I think he makes it a memorable one.

Before moving on to the game pick can I just throw out there how excited I am for the Frank Shannon era? He's earned more "reps" and here's hoping he gets them.

THE SCORE

These teams are pretty evenly matched actually so it could be a pretty awesome heart attack inducing game. Texas scores a full TD per game more than OU. OU gives up a full TD less per game. Both teams have good balance.

In the end OU's D is the difference. Texas hasn't faced a competent one yet. I'm less nervous about this one than Tech. The Sooners will pack their hard hats and lunch pails and Mack will be making excuses for someone.

OU 28, Texas 24

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.


Click here  for some more hard hitting game info from Berry Tramel, a man who clearly has unlimited access into the Sooner football team. Pulitzer stuff here.

Oklahoma Sooners 2012 Schedule Preview

It's opening week and the nadir of hope and optimism.  Time to foist the crimson-est of crimson colored glasses onto your chubby happy cheeks.

On the eve of their epic quest for glory, let us take a walk through this rainbow filled glen and look ahead at each opponent the Sooners will annihilate.

September 1st, 2012 at University of Texas - El Paso
The last time the Sooners played a Mike Price coached team it was a PlayStation performance for the defense in the Rose Bowl against Washington State. Virtually every unit on offense and defense needs to work the kinks out. I, like everyone else, am keenly interested to see how the defense looks.

September 8th, 2012 Florida A&M
I heard tell that the famous Florida A&M band was not making the trip to Norman for this one. Hopefully it's an ugly, vicious rumor. Else, why schedule this one? I suppose it will satisfy the blood thirst. Also, it will make me pop a vein in my forehead to see the empty seats in the student section.

September 22nd, 2012 Kansas State
This will be a decent test I suppose. If nothing else the Sooners should be tuned up by this point and good and healthy.

October 6th, 2012 at Texas Tech
Revenge Game. Tech always is a tough place to play. There's something about that Tommy Tuberville I just don't like. He's got an arrogance like he's playing chess vs. checkers since he came from the SEC. In short, he's a jerkoff and I hope we shit down their throats.

October 13th, 2012 Texas, at Dallas
Not worried. As long as Mack is suckling on the teat of some pre-Madonna QB's Mama and promising playing time for her blond-hair blue-eyed kiddo the Sooners have this in the bag.

October 20th, 2012 Kansas
Charlie Weis inherits what might possibly be the largest dearth of talent in Division 1 (or whatever it's called today). A perfect tune-up for Notre Dame.

October 27th, 2012 Notre Dame
This is one of the most highly anticipated non-conference games that I can remember. Every one and their dog has this date circled on the calendar as the "game they are going to". I hate giving any credit to Notre Dame (backhanded compliment alert!) because they are so overrated but the name still does carry massive cache'. Also, the Sooners have a hard time against them. Sooner Magic has historically been trumped by the Luck of the Irish. There are only two (!) home games worth a shit this year and this is the first.

November 3rd, 2012 at Iowa State
Potential letdown game after the whipping of the Irish. One thing Iowa State does is play hard. The Sooners will be a battle-tested fine tuned machine by now though. This is also the point in the season where, in recent years, the Sooners have been undefeated but still manage to come out flat. It is the bane of my existence and I do not want to see it this year.

November 10th, 2012 Baylor
Revenge game. I also have to believe that a Robert Griffin the 3rd-less Baylor team is a neutered Baylor team. Also, the defense can not be nearly as porous as last year. Plus it's at home. Plus it's a revenge game. Also, it's at this point in the season when I start thinking Brent Venables needs to be fired. Looking forward to not worrying about that.

November 17th, 2012 at West Virginia
Well everyone thinks this one will be huge. It will almost certainly have a deep conference impact. Of course there is also the novelty of West Virginia's entrance into the Big 12. You couldn't pay me to travel to Morgantown as a fan of the visiting team. As an Oklahoman we can make fun of about 5 states. West Virginia tops the list.

November 24th, 2012 Oklahoma State
All roads to glory lead home. Revenge game. Cowboys fans are drinking the Kool-Aid hard by already trying to convince themselves that their true Freshman Quarterback has all the skills (plus he's a better athlete) than 28 year old Brandon Weeden. I also overhead someone trying to seriously assert that some WR (really the name is irrelevant) is better in all phases of the game than Justin Blackmon. Puff Puff Give you HIGH motherfucker.

PS this is the other home game that's worth pissing on.

December 1st, 2012 at Texas Christian 
TCU's roster got decimated by some hard working Christians on the roster had their highly profitable pot-ring busted. But they need to be taken seriously. Especially when they are the only thing standing in the way of perfection.

Up next we'll discuss the 2012 MFer award and we'll throw a few team oriented predictions out there as well.

OU vs. Uterus

Damn I hate the Longhorns and I hate them now more than ever because they are ruining my weekdays. Just as recruiting chatter is the bane of my offseason existence, conference realignment speculation is the bane of my gameweeks. And these elitist cockbreaths in Austin are the cause. This week I've had to endure reports that Tulane might be joining the Big 12.

Fucking Tulane?

I'm gagging, barfing and laughing at the same time. I'm laughing so hard I just vomited through my nose and then I vomited so hard I just had to laugh. I even think I wet-farted my pants just know.

Now I've wasted a whole paragraph of my OU-Texas piece not talking real football because of these fuckwits. See how these devils never quit? Let's move on.

I love this matchup for OU. I mean, I'm giddy about it. Here's why:

texas Freshman QB Case McCoy

This Pumpkinhead is texas's starting QB. His Daddy and Mommy are good Texans. They named their boys after a gun and a knife manufacturer, respectively (Colt and Case). "How-do!!, pardner!"

By the way, does anyone want to lay odds that Brent Musberger alludes to this gun and knife business as ABC cuts to commercial following some miracle Case McCoy scramble? 2-1, 3-2? I might, nee will, smash a hole in a wall if this happens. Case is a Freshman and he'll be, "sharing time under Center" with fellow Freshman David Ash. I imagine Brent Venables and the Sooner D are looking forward to giving these two some different looks. In fact, the Sooner D probably feels a little like this guy:

The texas offense leans heavily on the run because Case and Ash (sounds like a Bravo reality show), while accurate by some unknown accounts, are not "gunslingers". They've attempted 55 passes combined on the season. Landry has completed  over twice that many by himself.  Now I've not watched texas (why would I?) enough to call them one dimensional, but they aren't as potent a spread as Mizzou either. All this to say that the Sooner defense is predicated on making their opponents one dimensional. When an opponent does this for them it plays heavily into the Sooners favor (see picture above).

The Sooners have already been forged by fire. Texas has not. The Sooners played well in a very hostile environment in Prime Time and left town victorious (FSU for any knotheads who might be reading. Wait! I didn't mean it, please don't leave the site, we need you). Also, the Sooners dealt with a pretty feisty Mizzou squad. It took a miracle for texas to pass it's only test of the season, at home, against BYU.

Finally, Mack Brown just doesn't have the bullets in his gun. He's playing about 15 freshmen and none of them are named Vince Young. He has almost an entirely new coaching staff. Normally I'd be scared that the horns might have that "back to the wall" mentality but not here. Not with Mack Brown. He just doesn't want to get embarrassed.

OFFENSE

How could I go against Dom Whaley? Sure, I Iignored him for three weeks. I prentended he existed only as motivation for Roy Finch. But Dom Whaley is easily the Sooners' best weapon outside of Ryan Broyles. The fact you have a triumvirate of Landry, Whaley and Broyles makes me feel good. This group of talent is as perfect a trifecta as any collegiate football team could hope for.

I'm taking Whaley just because someone on the Sooners Offense has to step up. No one can make a difference quite like Dominique.  Choosing Broyles is too easy. Also, choosing Landry is unacceptable. Landry is bound to throw some picks and do some stupid shit. As always, his numbers will be gaudy but you'll be left wondering what might have been.

Dom Whaley is a great story. But if you isolate him to this game he's an ever better story because he's going to be the player that people have heard of but haven't experienced. This game always has a Cinderella story Now is his opportunity. Someone has to step up.  If it isn't Whaley I'll also accept Kenny Fuckin Shitbag Stills, Jaz Reyonolds or Brandon Williams.

DEFENSE

The worst thing that can happen to the Sooner Defense is for texas to have success running the football. If they can do that twice in consecutive series, the Sooners could lose confidence.I'm not terbbibly worried about it. This defense and team is resilient. They can get popped in the mouth and hit right back.

With Travis Old Steady Lewis wearing Number 12 I really can't pick against him. His enthusiasm will be off the charts. I'd also like to pick Tony Motherfuckin Jefferson but my gut insists on Old Steady.

THE RESULT

OU should have their way. The longhorns have earned nothing.Their undefeated record is probably the weakest in college football. Yet, they are texas and have nearly found themselves in the Top 10. The good news for the Sooners is that, for at least this Saturday, this victory will look a lot better than it actually is. Good news for people who like polls and realignment chatter.

OU 35 Texas 17

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

The OU-texas Post-Coital Embrace

Now let's not start sucking each others popsicle's just yet. The toppling of texas was a fine win. Sure, the Sooners are 5-0 and it's true they might have their most difficult games already behind them. It's also true that championship teams (there's that word) must also avoid key injuries and have its fair share of luck. We must remember the season is far from over, there's lots that can happen.

However, come October 16th, the next time the Sooners take the field, the college football world will have been shaken up. I don't mean to pretend to be Nostradamus, that's just the way things work. The Sooners play host to a perpetually hapless Iowa State team at night at Owen Field and, afterward, the Sooners will be undefeated and still in control of their own destiny. The Sooners will be a bona fide contender (!).

How about that Sooner Magic? Thank goodness it has reared its glorious head because the Sooners seem to be hell bent on giving games away. The fake kick? I wouldn't make that call on the PlayStation. What about the inability to execute a time-wasting, game clinching drive? Hell, how about a time-wasting first down or two? I won't give Lonnie too much grief for the fumble because he was trying to make a play but damn, every Sooner player, coach and fan nearly took a simultaneous shit it when that ball came loose.  The 2010 Sooners are nothing if not dramatic.

On to the Game Balls/Helmet Stickers/Cheers/Cups-on-the-Butt/Post-Coital Embrace etc.

To DeMarco Murray for once again carrying the load and for getting himself penciled in for my Offensive POG pick for the Big 12 Championship (may the Sooners be so fortunate to go) and whatever bowl game we play. I did not realize how close DeMarco was to becoming OU's all-time touchdown's leader. Pretty amazing and rarified air. I have a feeling DeMarco will go down as one of the most underrated Sooners of all time. But that's another post.

To DeJuan Miller. Each week he has two or three grabs that always seem to move the chains, change the momentum or come at key times. Saturday was his best yet. He's realizing his potential. I'm proud of him and I'm not sure why. I know nothing about him beyond his clutch catches and uniform number. Cameron Kenney we hardly knew ye.

To Jeremy Beal. Five tackles, two sacks and forced fumble. Also, he made Navin and I infinitely (okay, somewhat) less douchey by validating our Defensive POG picks and my defensive breakdown "piece".

To James Winchester for recovering the Aaron Williams muff (snicker) and providing the obligatory Sooner player "upside-down hookem" (see also Lehman, Teddy and Jones, Kejuan et al).

To Aaron Williams for muffing the punt.

To Mack Brown for always bringing unintentional comedy to an otherwise tense, violent affair. I can't wait for the time texas is flagged for a blatant hold and Mack bursts a vessel in his forehead. It will be glorious.

Enjoy the off week.

OU - Texas

It's hard to believe we're already here. I've been to this game in person exactly one time. It was the same 1996 contest that Navin waxed so poetically about in his post. For some reason when I enrolled at OU the athletic office sold me a seat to the game right there on the spot. I found myself on the 50 yard line about two rows up and behind the texas bench. When James Allen won the game in overtime my euphoria was matched only by the girth of my prodigious boner (I'm a steed). As I was leaving the Cotton Bowl I met up with some Sig Ep bretheren and we proceeded to heckle relentlessly in the faces of every texas fan we came across. To the victors go the spoils.

Nowadays I rarely go down to Dallas as I've come to realize I can get drunk in front of my or a friends television and sleep in my own bed afterwards all whilst spending about $500 less. Don't hate, we're in a recession. So that's what I'll be doing today. Hanging out with about 30 other die hard Sooner fans at TFrye's house (allegedly the new King of New York).

If you want proof that any asshole can have both a blog, an opinion and not a clue, I offer you this. I also know very little about texas. You know why? I hate them. I have better shit to do with my time than cruise the Interwebs for stats, facts and figures related to those assholes. Trust me, there's plenty of texas people out there who will all too eagerly tell you how awesome they are. In short I have nothing solid to base my feelings of this contest. I stand wobbily on Crimson Colored Glasses.

Here's the deal. The Sooner offense has just enough weapons that Lonnie won't have to take too many chances. In theory this should mean less opportunities for interceptions. Also, knocking on wood here, the Sooners haven't fumbled the ball yet. Everybody knock on wood again please. So, even against a stout defense, I like our chances. Look for lots of short to intermediate throws from Lonnie. Look for lots of throws to the Trey Millards and Trent Ratteree's of the offense and especially look for creative ways to get the ball to Ryan Broyles so he can get the ball in open space. He'll expose the texas D for the terrible tacklers they are (based on no basis of fact, but I'm sure of it because they are texas and they fellate one another at practice).

What are the Sooners going to do on defense? I'm glad I asked. I think they do everything possible to make Garrett Gilbert beat them. I can't remember a texas Quarterback who struck less fear in the hearts of Sooner Nation. This is telling when you consider the storied history of effeminate texas quarterbacks. All day long it's base Nickel packages, stuffing the run and making Gilbert make plays. I think the Sooners get two, maybe three INT's.

Also, I'm truly going to be disappointed with anything less than Florida State type intensity out of the D. Really, it should easily exceed it. In a perfect world this lends itself to 60 minutes of flying to the football like your hair is on fire. The lack of same has been the bane of this Sooner D in every other game. They fix that today.

The Picks

Offense
The burden is heavy on Lonnie but he has the best weapon for either team. For that reason I'm picking the weapon, Ryan Broyles. I really think they try a lot of different things to get him the ball and he lays waste to the texas D. Broyles is a Norman native, he's no longer wide-eyed and he knows probably better than anyone what this game means. I now have a chub.

Defense
Navin, you really had me on the edge of my seat. I was pretty confident we would arrive at the same conclusion. Of course it happened. Look, I don't need to go through all the options because Navin did that quite ably. Jeremy Beal is going to wreak havoc on Gilbert and the texas O-Line. Whoever has him (again, too lazy and indifferent to look up the names of any texas O-Linemen) will have his hands on his hips with shoulders sagging. No bullshit. Jeremy Beal is going to own.

The Conclusion
This isn't going to be 7-3 or 63-3. I don't see it as a defensive struggle either. The Sooner offense is better. When they want to, the Sooner D can be as good as anyone. I cannot believe they won't be jacked today. I like Sooners (obviously).

28-14
Boomer to the motherfuckin' Sooner