OU vs. Baylor Or... Texas Tech Part the Deuce.. Maybe

Last game: The Sooners find themselves matched up against a team trying to make a statement and prove their lofty ranking was deserved. It was strength versus strength. Spread offense versus a defense designed to stop such a thing. The Nation found out the Red Raiders were overhyped.

This week: The Sooners find themselves matched up against a team trying to make a statement and prove their lofty ranking is deserved. It's strength versus strength. Spread offense versus a defense designed to stop such a thing. What will The Nation learn tonight?

The Baylor Bears, much like the Red Raiders, have played nobody leading up to this matchup. Buffalo has the best record of anyone the Bears have faced. The best Big 12 team they faced, K-State, is also the team that held them to a season low of 35 points. At the time of the Texas Tech matchup, the Red Raiders stiffest test had been TCU who held them to their lowest points of the season.

All of this to say that rankings and hype don't mean shit. This year's Oklahoma football team, while still a bit of a mystery and disappointment (oh, how spoiled are we?), have been tested. They've played in hostile territory and they've played against some ranked teams. You know at this point that there is a decent shot the Sooners are going to score 30. Maybe not much more than that but they can get there. You know they are going to hold someone under their scoring average (except texas damnit).

Baylor's numbers are off the charts. Their two leading receivers each have 30+ catches and average over 20 yards per. Their leading rushers each average over 8 yards per. It's PlayStation set on Rookie. But look at who they've played. It's real life set on Rookie. Wofford, Buffalo, Kansas, Iowa State.

Waco is probably the least intimidating place in the Big 12 to play. Besides the Cotton Bowl it's historically been the second best home away from home.

This need not be as scary as it is.

OFFENSE

No secret here it's all about controlling the clock, keeping Baylor off the field and making Baylor prove they can stop the run. Blake Bell just needs to be competent and Brennan Clay and Co. need to hang on to the football. Bell needs to take the easy passes when they are there but the offense needs to dictate the terms by shoving a potent ground game up Baylor's unproven ass.

For the love of all things holy I would like to put a good jinx on someone this week. I want, again for the love of all things holy, for Roy Damn Finch to step in and be Mr. Everything in Trey Millard's absence.

Speaking of Trey Millard can we pour a little out for our homey? WTF man? Godspeed in your rehab and thanks.

DEFENSE

Hoo boy. Everyone needs to double up on jock straps tonight. This is going to be a tester no doubt. It's nice having Frank Shannon back. That helps.

I can't find anywhere that says he isn't playing so I'm picking Eric Striker. He's the best blitzer by far and getting to the quarterback is the key to this Sooner squad getting off the field. This is my "Chess vs. Checkers" matchup to watch tonight and I like Ted Striker's chances.

THE SCORE

I am really counting on another paper tiger here. I am assuming that Baylor's defense is not only untested but also not up to the challenge. I am counting on the Sooners D being ready for the biggest test of their season. And I am counting on the Baylor offense to hershey squirt their britches a little bit when faced with a defense that is not made up of electric football figurines. Finally, I am counting on the Brothers Stoops and Josh Heupel to gameplan half as effectively as Art Briles.

A lot has to fall in place here. But it will and the Sooners make a statement of their own this week.

OU 42, Baylor 35

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Kansas

Faithful reader(s), I put fingers to keyboard this morn with a bleak outlook on the Sooners. The loss last week, and the manner in which it happened (see: shit, bed), really put me in a bad place. College football is wonderful, I love so many things about it. One of those things is the quest for perfection and the near certainty that anything less dooms those reaching for the crystal football to bring hand to brow and turn their eyes to next year. I've exhausted my vocabulary of words relating to my thoughts on the state of Sooner football. I wish that we were contenders again. The salad days, as it were, appear distantly in the rearview mirror. Our place in the ranks of title contender has faded to nothing more than also-rans. Yet, I still watch and still hope, and still have a damn good time watching the crimson and cream (and gold. sometimes. one time. maybe never again. hopefully). 

That uplifting intro was born out of honest sentiment, but also partly out of a lack of anything interesting or entertaining that I could come up with regarding jayhawk football. The only satisfying thing I get out of beating them, and we will beat them (foreshadowing), is knowing that the literally dozens on hand in Lawrence are the same "die-hard" super fans that manage to pack out their gym night-in night-out for the basketball team. After all, nothing solidifies true fandom better than testing that fandom by cheering a team that wins invariably. 

I'm bitter. 

Offense

My pick last week was predictably poo. One positive from that game, and there weren't many, was that for the first time in his career, Trey Millard approached something resembling being a feature of the offense. I liked that a lot. In my mind he has the best chance of being something solid at "the next level". With all of that in mind. I'm going with Millard today. Yeah, I'm probably giving him the kiss of death, but I don't give a fuck. He rumbles in for another score this week. 

Defense

I'm not sure what the hell happened last Saturday but its possible we missed Corey Nelson more than we could have ever imagined. It's also possible that, with the exception of Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin, we don't have much in the secondary. While Gabe Lynn seems better suited at safety (or at least better hidden as a shit player), Zac(k?)Sanchez is stepping on necks to get the gas-rag moniker. I'm going with someone in the middle of the D, Frank Shannon. I think Frank has a very solid day, racking up a shitload of tackles again and being involved with a turnover somehow. 

Score

I like the Sooners a lot today. KU is turds. I'm pretty sure we pummel their ass from pistol to pistol. Sooners 37-10. Now, lets forget last week and go out win this one big. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

texass

I really hate texas. I hate their uniforms. I hate their players. I hate the attitude of their fanbase. I hate their coach. Please allow me to spin a yarn about a deeply personal experience related to the texas football program, which may enlighten you to a small part of the stem of this hatred.

Growing up in Missouri my father had an office in my hometown. He worked in the same office, in the same building for many years. As one might expect, he came to know several other tenants who leased space in this same building. Spending a fair amount of my childhood here, along with my brothers, we too came to know many of these same people. One of these people was an older lady named Martha. She was a big part of our lives growing up and became a part of our family, joining us for holidays and other occasions throughout our lives. Martha's office was similar to my fathers, only in one corner was a large, vinyl-covered, red recliner chair. It was clearly something much older than I was, but it was omnipresent in Martha's office and everyone who paid her a visit (there were many every day) invariably sat in this chair. 

Shortly after Martha passed away, my family had the task of cleaning out her office and its contents. My cousins, from Ft. Worth, were in town to visit and helped us with this task. My cousin decided that the red chair was perfect for her son's room. Though my brothers and I all felt the chair was some small part of our childhood, none of us were particularly attached to it and as such agreed to them taking the chair and getting use out of it. As my cousin (the son, who got the chair for his room) grew up, he decided to attend the university of texas (he's much smarter than this turn of events would have you believe). The chair went with him and became a fixture in an entirely new set of lives. It was as known as a piece of furniture can be in a college boy's room. 

As I was talking with my cousin a few weeks ago, I randomly inquired about the red chair. Sadly, it had been damaged beyond repair at a party, set beside the curb, and hauled away. No there is not some wild story or crazy event that preceded its demise. Rather, it was tragically destroyed by none other than David Fucking Ash, who sat his stupid fucking ass on the arm of it, rather than in the seat, and broke it off. It's now in a greater Austin landfill, thanks to that stupid fuck who is no better at simply sitting down than he is at quarterbacking. I hate texas. 

True Story.

I digress from that probably irrelevant diatribe, and point my thoughts to Mack Brown, who has done nearly as much for Bob Stoops as he's done for himself. Apart from a few years where OU was pretty lousy and texas was pretty good, we've handled them well. Say what you want about Stoops shitting himself on the biggest stages, he almost always has the Sooners ready for texas. I'm convinced the common denominator here is Brown. Much has been made of the Sooners dominating recent Red River clashes, all week long. The Sooners are (surprisingly, maybe?) good in the first part of the year. texas has been pleasingly (surprisingly, maybe?) bad. So this bodes well for the Sooners, right? Right?

Actually I'm not sure. Traditionally in sports, repeatedly telling first class athletes they won't and, moreover, can't do something tends to light a significant fire under them. Supremely motivates them. Pisses them off, so-to-speak. Pile on the rivalry aspect, which generally provides a notable motivational factor on its own. Then add in this whole, Mack-Brown-is-fired-if-they-lose corollary, and we've got a recipe for disaster in Sooner nation. All of this plus the fact that Sooner teams in recent years have excelled at "believing the hype" and adopting the attitude that simply putting on the uniform ensures victory. If this whole win-one-for-Mack thing permeates the longhorn locker room, we may be in trouble. 

Offense

Whew, where to start here? I love the ground game. I'm just as hard as can be over this ground game of ours. And if there's one thing I've proved over the first five games it's that I can pick who is going to have the worst day on the ground. I hope it's Trey Millard (that dominates, not has the worst day. I suck at this) I really do. Hell, I'll take any of the backs going off. That said, I'm not about to inadvertently put a hex on any of them, no way, no sir. I'm going to take a little trip to the passing game. I'm going to dial up one of my favorite young players and one of the 'Dozer's favorite targets. I'm going with Sterling Shepard. He's been a total stud this year and has completely lapped Trey Metoyer in the "young receiver to get excited about" race. I think Bell looks for him often, and he responds with multiple catches and at least one long TD. 

Defense

It's really tough that we lost Corey Nelson. He might've simultaneously been our most underrated and best defender. I do love Frank Shannon, and I hear Alexander is a more than capable replacement. So the LB's will hopefully be ok. That said I do imagine there will be a drop-off. In order to minimize this, we will need strong play up front, both in the pass and run games. I like one of the big boys to step and "get after it". I'm going with Charles "Ass" Tapper. He's just developing into a total badass. I think he plants that "pumpkin-head" (copyright: Keith Mitchell, 2012), Case McCoy on his dick more than once. That's right, multiple sacks, and maybe more. It's going to be a full on "boner-getter day" for the Ass Tapper fan contingency. 

Score

This looks much tougher to me than most are saying. I think texas has everything to prove and nothing to lose in this one. I think they punch us in the mouth early, maybe even have us reeling a bit. But I think we punch back and do enough to win. Sooners rally in this one to make it 4 straight, 33-27. 

Lets roll these rotten motherfuckers. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner. 

The Red River Rivalry

Not to be overconfident because, "You can throw out the records in this one" and yada yada but is this the last RRR for Mack Brown? I mean, I don't think they'll can him mid-season. But if the Longhorns lose, however badly, is this the death knell for ol' Mack? If the horns win, does it save his job? Does it provide enough of a glimmer of hope for Longhorn Nation to see if ol' Mack can bring back the bygone magic of the Vince Young days with [Insert name of freshman QB wunderkind here] ?

I wouldn't care a whit except I like whipping Mack Brown's ass. I love his nasally, over-protective post game pressers. I am also scared shitless of an Art Briles Texas Longhorn offensive juggernaut. Don't want no part of it. I like the status quo here.

Now I don't like it enough to stomach a loss to the horns this week though, you understand. No sir. I want to absolutely pistol whip these sonsabucks. But I just wonder if I had my way and the Sooners go PlayStation on the Horns, have we seen the last of Mack? It's sad to think about really. I'm not sure I want to live in a world where Mack Brown is patrolling the Georgia Tech sidelines.

OFFENSE

My favorite aspect of this game is the Cinderalla Story who comes out of nowhere and ensures himself, at worst, a future at an autograph table at Joe Cooper Ford some Saturday during Ford Truck Month. Last year Trey Millard played the role. So far this season, Josher seems happy making sure those RRR highlights are the only memories of Trey we'll have.

So who will it be this year? I couldn't tell you if the Sooners have had a tight end on the field this year or not. So that would be the longest shot. I can't even name a TE and I won't bother looking it up. Somebody like LaColtan Bester would be a good choice. He seems to be solid if forgotten after that fumble against West Virginia. I think the best choice though is someone like Roy Finch. He's the perfect candidate because he's the kind of player you can move around (a la Millard) and get involved in a lot of different ways. Most importantly, Josher can do this with a lot of NEW formations and plays. They could even go back to that little shuttle pass that worked so well with Q back in the early aughts. Who else can make that kind of play?

So my choice is Roy Damn Finch. Related: Notice I didn't mention the texas D? That's because they're terrible and if that one guy hadn't done some shithead hit on an Iowa State guy last week there'd be nothing at all with the D to talk about.

DEFENSE

Boy, the loss of Corey Nelson hurts. Speaking of Cinderella stories.  Until now, Co. Nelson's career has been more balleyhooed and underwhelming versus coming from nowhere but finally this year he was starting to make believers. In fact, he was a total beast. And now, season over.

No time to cry though. Fuckin-A we got a game to play here. I really like the idea of a Mikey Stoops defense causing Case McCoy's eyes to go all Marty Feldman.

I'd love to pick Dominique Alexander here just out of solidarity for his fallen bro but I can't. But I'm such a firm believer in the Sooners rattling Case that I do think one Chaz Tapper is going to "go off". You want to talk about pleasant surprises? You want to talk about Beast Mode? Let's talk Chaz Tapper.

THE SCORE

Well I like the Sooners big here but all cliche aside I'll be pleased with a 1 point win. Me and the lady are going to the game for the first time (for me) since 1996. I need a Sooner victory. I've earned a Sooner victory.

Realistically, the texas D is pathetic. Our O will be fine. Our D will be "turnt up". We will, in fact, dominate.

I like the Sooners here in a great way. OU 35, texas 14.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner!

Tulsa

This Saturday pits our beloved Sooners against the Tulsa, Golden Hurricane. Much has been made of how ridiculous it is that a school located so far from the threat of a hurricane should have such a name. Cue some asshole explaining how it's not really for a hurricane but for blah blah blah... Shut up. I've decided that a golden hurricane is something of a euphemism along the lines of a Cleveland Steamer or a Blumpkin. Basically 15-20 fat Japanese men binge on beer until each is nearing a bladder rupture. They then disrobe and form a circle. Then a young girl kneels in the middle of them. At this point they simultaneously unleash a furious deluge of urine, soaking her in a Golden Hurricane. I wish the on-field mascot reflected this better. 

Going into this campaign I knew there would be some growing pains. I assumed, given the plethora of returning skill position players, that the majority of said pains would be on defense. Oh how I was wrong. While the D has looked excellent (deceptively good I think, but I digress), it's the O that has been basically terrible. Trevor Knight was bad enough last week that the coaching staff replaced him in the 4th (knee injury or not I think) with Blake Bell. Moreover, they opened up the avenue that they might have been wrong about Knight, something that Bobby has not been wont to do historically. Bell did little to quell any fears pertaining to the passing game but did manage to be the tortoise to Knights hare, in that his slow and steady was effective at moving the chains late. 

I'm hopeful that Bell can find some kind of groove in the passing game. It's going to be rough (long term) if he can't and Tulsa feels like a good time to "get right". Defensively, I hope we can keep it up. Schematically I'm not sure we've been dramatically better than recent years, but I will say that the tackling has been light years ahead of last season. That alone is worth a nod to Mike Stoops. The spread has us giving 24, that seems generous given our struggles last week. Nonetheless, we play to win, if not cover, and I think we'll do that. 

Offense

Last week I picked the right position, but couldn't have been more wrong about the player. Brennan Old Steady Clay had a railroad spike between my legs all night. What a game. I still wish we'd spread the touches around the backfield more, ie Millard, but it's hard to argue with the two-headed monster of Williams and Clay. I would really like to go with Jaz "Hands" Reynolds or LaColtan Bester, but I just don't think Bell will drop back and throw enough to make that realistic. Perhaps this is a hindsight pick or betting on last race's horse, but I'm going Brennan Clay this week. He was just a total force all night, and wasn't stoppable even when I knew what was coming. I think that earns him copious touches against Tulsa and he responds with 100+ and 2 trips across the goal line. 

Defense

I really feel like Frank Shannon is becoming a huge difference maker on D. He's almost quietly been (arguably) our best defender. Credit where due as well: Gabe "gas rag" Lynn hasn't been completely abysmal either. That said I've got a new guy out there that is rapidly becoming one of my favorites this year, Charles Tapper (aside: can we just make his nickname "ass" now? It's too awesome to not have Charles "Ass" Tapper. Nope, it's done, Ass Tapper). I'm going with big Charles this week. I think he picks up a sack and is a force on the defensive front both against the pass and run. 

Score

As I said, 24 seems like a reach with our O. I think this one might be painful to watch though I don't think it will be in doubt too terribly much. I like OU 28-10. Bell gets the ground game rolling and the ghosts of Bud Wilkinson smash their way to a win. 

Time to roll heads. Early start, early finish. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner 

WVU

As the first light of dawn reached into my bedroom, I awoke. My buckskin pants already on, I turned my legs toward the floor and my feet delved into my fur lined, high-top moccasins. As I stood I simultaneously stretched, and reached for the tassled, tanned leather jacket hanging on a deer antler next to my bed. I pulled its soft, animal embrace over my skeletal frame. Sleep still in my eyes, and morning still on my breath, I placed my time-worn coonskin cap on and threw my musket over my shoulder. My arm pushed open the weathered, wooden door to my bunk and my gaze met the morning sun with a squint. As I took my first breath of the crisp morning air, I felt the familiar deluge of carnal excitement as I went into the next bunkhouse to fornicate with both of my sisters. And it was golden.

--from, "The Mountaineer: My Year of Torrid Incest as an Adult Male Cheerleader", HarperCollins; 2003

There's a less than 3% chance I made that up, which is roughly on par with the chance I give WVU of winning today in Norman. Everyone knows the details of last season's track meet in Morgantown. The Sooners emerged victorious but not before allowing Smith, Austin et al to literally run at will all over our embarrassing, wait-it's-not-two-hand-touch?-defense. It's the worst performance defensively of the Bob Stoops era. It was the least satisfying win I can remember, but a win nonetheless.

All of the key pieces of that onslaught, and of Dana Holgerson's (semi) relevant Mountaineer team of last season, are gone. New QB, new skill position guys and it all showed up (or didn't, depending on..) last week. WVU had to rally, RALLY, in the second half against The Tribe of William and Mary. Granted, I'm sure they were overlooking them a bit, but still. They certainly won't be looking past OU on the road today. However, I'm sure we're eager to shut them down and prove that last year was the exception, not the rule. My suspicion is Mike Stoops has not failed to remind the defense of how fucking terrible they looked last season against these guys. My hope is he's got a game-plan together to show them "what's what".

Last week marked the debut of Trevor Adophilous Knight (probably/certainly not his real middle name, but it sounds damn fine and "right" to me). He showed Sooner Nation his ability to scramble. He also showed he can be woefully inaccurate in the passing game. While I didn't get to watch the game ($49.95 to stream ULM on SoonerSports?? Not a fucking chance), reports indicate he settled down as the game went on. I hope that he's more poised today and starts making the good throws that are there. Of course, it's nice to have our running game as a fallback. I was pleased to see from the box score that Roy Finch had a nice day, and Mitch seems pretty high on Keith Ford. That said I was disappointed that Heupel found enough touches leftover to give Trey Millard one (ONE!?) carry. I hope that changes, though I have strong doubts.

Offense

I liked going with Knight in his debut, and I think a case can be made that he was OPG. Early returns look as though Jalen Saunders may be a favorite target as he had a nice game last week (nice call, Mitchy). I was pleased to see Trey Metoyer find the endzone last Saturday as well. This week, I'm feeling as though Knight picks up the passing game even more, and puts up better numbers. Though I'd love to go with Knight or a receiver, I feel like it's going to be someone on the ground today. The running game is such a tough pick with so many options (underutilized or not) to give the ball to. I'm going to go with Roy Finch. I'm excited that he's becoming a part of the offense (again) because, let's face it, when he is out there he almost always does something awesome. I think 100+ yards is unrealistic with all of our options, but I feel as though an all around balanced day of running and receiving with one score is coming.

Defense

I really wish I could have seen last week's game. It's been so long since we've shut down anyone, regardless of what kind of team it is, to that degree. Only two trips past the 50! I must say it feels good. We're clearly not going to keep putting up those kinds of games in the Big 12, but it's a nice start. Though Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin played well last week, it felt even better to tip a cap toward Frank Shannon and Charles Tapper who both ended up having really nice games. With that in mind, I'm going to pick Frank Shannon as my DPG (Defensive Player of the Game, not Disrespectful Pounding of the Gash). I think he makes a lot of big tackles today, and leads us to another solid defensive performance.

Score

I like what the D showed last week, and I like that WVU struggled to score against William AND Mary (I mean, both of them??) last week. I also think the offense gets rolling even more this week with Knight settling in earlier. Sooners win this one 41-17. Solid performance out of the gate, and we keep the pressure on throughout.

This is my first game of the season to watch, and I couldn't be more excited about the prospect of it. It's payback for last year and we'll do it in a big way. Let's roll heads.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

ULM

For the first time since being totally destroyed on the biggest stage (again) last January, the Sooners take the field with a clean slate this evening. As I mentioned in my post on Wednesday, I have an odd mix of resignation and optimism on the season. But as I wiped my eyes this morning and rolled out of bed, optimism sprung up. While I'm not sure what to expect during the course of the season, today I'm expecting an ass beat be put on the poor saps from ULM.

Yes, the pundits say that ULM is not to be taken lightly. They started their season by beating a respectable Arkansas team on the road and played (a shitty) Auburn close last year. They also had tough losses to such powerhouses as Arkansas State and Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns. With that in mind I'll chalk the Arkansas upset to being overlooked and the others to not being a great team. Listen, they are who we think they are and if you want to crown their asses then go ahead and crown them. Denny Green aside, they're a decent mid-major capable of beating us. However, I don't think it's likely.

The biggest story of our day, and what has me brimming with curiosity and excitement is the debut of Trevor Knight, aka not lonnie jones. I'm pumped to see what this supposed wunderkind can do. I'm also pumped that for the first time in 3+ seasons I'm not going into a game absolutely certain that I'm going to hate at least 10 things our QB does.

Defensively, well, who the hell knows what can happen? In my exhaustive (read: less than 7 minutes of...) research, it seems that ULM did put up quite a few points most weeks in 2012. So it appears that they know (knew?) how to score. This fact gives me more pause than anything else, given that last season we welcomed opponents into the endzone like so many penises into a chubby drunk sorority girl longing for acceptance. I didn't do any defensive newcomer selections, mostly because I didn't think of it (hat tip: Mitch), but the guys I'm excited to see, and think may have big years, are Frank Shannon and Charles Tapper (in addition to, of course, Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin). Let's hope we set the tone early this year by shutting someone down.

Offense

I feel like there are a lot of options here given the amount of talent we have returning to the skill positions. However, given Heupel's play-calling resume, it's a goddamned crapshoot figuring out who will get the ball (read: not Millard, Trey and Finch, Roy). However, there is at least one player guaranteed to get touches. Maybe it's the 3rd cup of coffee ("Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home..."), but I'm doing something I haven't done in those aforementioned 3+ seasons, I'm picking our QB, Trevor Knight, as my offensive player of the game. I think (hope?) that the young buck rambles, scrambles and throws all over the field today and lends me one of those corn-dogs Mitch observed in Mike Stoops' shorts (front, not back). I'm thinking 250+ passing yards, 50+ rushing yards, 3 TD's and 1 int (he'll have hiccups).

Defense

Here I really only have one option at this stage of the season given the number of question marks on D. So no bullshitting around, my pick is Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin. I don't foresee any int's due to the fact that they'll likely avoid going his direction much in the passing game. That said I think he makes multiple big tackles and forces a fumble in the run game (he can hit).

Score

My hunch is they can score. I'm hopeful we can too. Provided we don't run shotgun draws every play and turn into The Chuck Long Project (the offense, not the progressive rock trio I can only assume exists somewhere) again, I think we'll put up some points ourselves. It might not be flawlessly pretty but I think we win convincingly today 41-24. No I don't like that it's that close but they get a garbage TD in there at the end.

Let's roll heads, it's Sooner football season again.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner!

This is Sooner Football 2013

Welcome, Sooner fans, to the 2013 season. It's been a long and all too familiar offseason of stewing in one's own stink. Losing ugly to Texas A&M on national television at the Cotton Bowl has the Sooner faithful questioning everything they've long held dear.  The net effect here in the heartland seems to be indifference. Expectations haven't been this low since Bob Stoops arrived 15 years ago.

I understand if you subscribe to the Championship or bust mentality. It has to be the mindset of the greatest college football team of all times. But let's be honest here. The odds of raising an 8th National Championship banner are not good. You say, "But Keith, do you mean not.. good.. like.. one out of a hundred?" I'd say more like one out of a million. But I'm telling you there's a chance!

So we need to make some lemonade out of last year's lemons. Here are five things to get excited about.

1. Landry Jones is Out

The Sooners could lose every game this year and I can say with absolute confidence that I will never utter the words, "No way would we have lost if we still had Landry". It won't happen. Quarterbacks not named Landry Jones are exciting.

2. Trevor Knight is In

A Redshirt Freshman quarterback being handed the reigns at a powerhouse is actually pretty frightening. And don't go tricking yourself into thinking he's the next Johnny Manziel. But this offense could put up 40 points if I was quarterback. It's loaded. The O-Line is experienced, there are playmakers and deep threats at wide receiver and the running backs are stacked. Throw in Knight, who can use his feet to escape pressure and stay ahead of the chains, and we might see opposing defenses on their heels again.

3. A Crapshoot Defense

The odds are stacked against the Sooners because last year's defense was terrible down the stretch. Four starters return from a unit that was ranked 64th in total defense last year (Of note: Brent Venables' Clemson Tigers D ranked 63rd). The situation can only improve in year two of Mike Stoops Part Deux, right? Or, could the inexperience of the new names and faces make them worse? We have no idea what to expect.

4. Jay Boulware, Special Teams Coordinator and Tight Ends Coach

Why is this a big deal? Last year one Tight End caught three balls. That's three balls. All season. They were coached as part of the Offensive Tackles group. I'm not pretending that an effective (existent) Tight End game is the single key to success in modern football. But having the option is nice.

Also note the Special Teams Coordinator title. OU hasn't had a coach with this responsibility since 2005 (Kevin Sumlin). Not coincidentally, special teams have vacillated between average and embarrassing in recent years. Special teams can win or lose football games.

A renewed emphasis on these two groups is definitely a good thing.

5. Trey Millard Decided to Come Back

He should have taken NFL money but I'm glad he's back.  The guy is a man among boys. It appears that the attitude in Norman has changed from complacency to near desperation. Hopefully this means Josh Heupel will be calling Millard's number early and often. If it happens get ready for Millard Mania©.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner! Coming up next will be Preseason Awards and more prognostication.

OU vs. Johnny Football dba Texas A&M

Even though the Sooners were hosed by the BCS, the AT&T Cotton Bowl does present a more attractive matchup than all the other BCS games save the Championship. Our beloved Sooners take on Heisman Trophy™ winner  Johnny "Football" Manziel and the Aggies  down at Jerry World where, according to sources, people are paying $200 for standing room only seats. These folks, with something between "Too Much" and "Not Enough" discretionary income, are eager to see if the Sooners can avoid going 0-3 against Heisman Trophy™ finalists this season.

Elsewhere, in storylines, you have former Sooner Co-Offensive Coordinator Kevin Sumlin going up against Josh Heupel (advantage Sumlin), Landry's last stand, and the Sooner Defense with one last chance to prove it can stop anything in the middle of the football field.

OFFENSE

The 2012 Sooner offense has never really looked like the juggernaut of years past that keeps defenses on their heels with a relentless attack. But it has been able to go toe-to-toe with some of the top offenses in the country. They've struggled against the best defenses but the Aggies are not elite. In fact, I think they're ripe for exploitation.

Of course it starts with Landry. Our relationship might be love-hate but it's never boring. I will toast his obligatory INT. I will seek pleasure in knowing there's three passing TD's following it, that this game means nothing and it's the last I'll ever see of him in a Sooners uniform.

He has everything he needs to go out on a high note. The rest of the offense is all systems go thanks to Jalen Saunders not getting left in Norman after getting busted with marijuana (a deadly gateway drug kids dabble in).

I think the offense will have a field day and I really hope Trey Millard gets a lot of chances. I like him for my Offensive POG. I would like nothing more than for him to show how badass he is to a national audience. As much as I would hate to see him leave, he should take NFL money.

One last note on Landry. I hope that in the NFL he gets to study under a Master thereby improving his chances of success. Say, somebody like the Denver Broncos. That would be an awesome fit. I'm certain Navin feels the same way.

DEFENSE

The last time the Sooner D took the field they looked like they had buttoned some things up. But, they weren't playing a dynamic QB or offense like they'll face Friday night. The Sooners have been abused for a lot of the season. Most of it is their own doing in the form of missed tackles and poor D-Line play more than being lost or out game planned. Can they get it straightened out against a truly top-flight offense?

Don't you think the Sooners have to have one person shadowing Johnny Manziel on every play? Who is that going to be? Not Tommy Wort. Could be Corey Nelson, Frank Shannon, Javon Harris, Gabe Lynn, Julian Wilson or Tony Motherfuckin Jefferson. Maybe they take turns. Hell, I don't know what the answer is here. But Johnny Football is the way, the truth and the light of this offense so the Sooners must break him (in Ivan Drago voice). It would stand to reason that the DPOG should come from this group. But, alas, no.

It seems like in bowl games the best player on defense that year is the defensive POG. This year it's hard to argue for a clear cut best player so I'll go with my favorite, Aaron Colvin. My runner-up choices (for DPOG, not player of the year) would be Javon Harris for the second straight game or Frank Shannon. Neither would surprise me with a good game, particularly Shannon. But Colvin is the choice here.

SCORE

Obviously, this one has shootout written all over it. The advantage for the Sooners is that they call a matchup against this type of offense, "Next".  A&M hasn't faced a Sooner level offense outside of Lousiana Tech (whom they could not stop). I'm also not mentally prepared to put A&M into the elite class of the SEC. If they aren't elite then they're average, contrary to what any SEC fellating scribe  (read: all scribes) might like you to believe. The SEC is overrated this year. Book it.

I like the Sooners here 42-38.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner! Tip them PBR's and enjoy it.

Oklahoma State

Bedlam is back for it's 2012 incarnation, pitting the Sooners against inferiority complex saddled OSU. At one point this might have been the most lopsided "rivalry" in history. OSU had beaten OU something like 4 times since WW2 to around 2000. Recent years however, have shown much more parity. From the Rashaun Woods game that was a fluke to last year's assbeat in Stoolwater, the Sooners have had much fuller hands with the pokes than any Sooner fan would like. Speaking of last year's embarrassment, I'm hoping the team has a little payback on their mind. Lonnie was never more Lonnie than that game last season, it's his chance for atonement.

OSU comes in with a pretty solid defense which is out of character. Their offense is good as usual. They've lost three on the season and apart from losing to what seems to be a terrifically bad Texas squad, they've been pretty good. It will be a tough test and if we bring the same defense that we brought last week there are going to be a lot of unhappy people in Sooner nation after the game. I'm not going to spend time rehashing that game. While a lot of fun to watch, my coronaries and my sphincter aren't up for a repeat. Suffice it to say, the Sooner defense doesn't seem to be much better than last year, if at all. I'm hoping for a little ball control offense to limit OSU's possessions and maybe we can sneak it out that way.

Offense

I went for Justin Brown last week, hindsight shows that Stills would have been the guy. What a game by Fuckin' Shitbag. Mitch went for Damien Williams who had a really nice night also. I would be happy with either of those two repeating this week. But I'm going a little different route today. I'm going with the forgotten man, Trey Millard (can we agree that Millard is the overwhelming favorite to be a beast in the NFL leaving everyone wondering why we never gave him the fucking ball while at OU?). I'm not sure why he doesn't get the ball more, I guess because there are only so many touches to go around with all of our weapons. Nonetheless he's probably the most difficult matchup we have and he rarely gets touches. Just a hunch, but I think that Heupel remembers him in this one and he steps up big.

Defense

I should just start drawing a name out of hat, because I'm essentially doing that now. In light of the fact that he's a Senior and just that he's one of my favorite players on the team, I'm going with Casey Walker. I hope he crushes their QB at least once, and I'm hoping by the end that he's been in the backfield enough that they're looking for him in their huddle.

Score

I'm nervous. Our D couldn't be looking worse right now. They can score, and actually play solid D. That said, I like that this is a home game, the first in two years it should be noted. I'm sure Sooner fans are ready. I am hopeful that the players are still gargling to get the taste of last year out of their mouths. Nothing will wash it away better than a thorough drubbing. I think it will be close, but I think revenge + home crowd is enough that we get it done. Sooners take this one 38-28 in a tough one.


Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

The Oklahoma Sooners Versus the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame

Get yourself buckled up boys and girls because what we have here is a big damn football game.

Sooner Head Football Coach Bobby Stoops said earlier this week that it's probably the biggest game since Nebraska came rolling into town one Red October back in 2000. Navin and I were at that football game and I can say that it was, without a doubt, the best atmosphere for a football game I've ever been a part of. It was the first time at any sporting event that I literally felt electricity in the air.

The Sooners of 2000 were a Cinderella story in college football and the contest against the Huskers put the Sooners back on top. The thing is, in the Spring of 2000, nobody looked at the calendar, saw Nebraska on the schedule, and said, "Boy is that going to be one hell of a game." On the contrary, most  people probably hershey squirted their pants a little. Nebraska was a juggernaut at the time.

Flash forward to the Spring of 2012, however, and every Sooners fan I talked to was looking forward to this contest. It's the first time I can remember such a thing in my adult life. Not only was everyone looking forward to it but now we find a contest worthy of the hype.

All of this to say that there will almost certainly be electricity in the air once again come Saturday in Norman.

I am giddy that we find ourselves, Sooner fans, in the position of doing the circling on the calendar for once. And, I don't need to remind anyone how well the Sooners play when they are looking forward to something (look at Texas two weeks ago).

OFFENSE

The Notre Dame defense is the reason for their 7-0 start. They have yet to allow a rushing touchdown on 3rd and goal situations. Is this the day the Belldozer is contained? I'm interested in finding out. It's inexplicable that the Belldozer has yet to be contained. If anyone can do it, it's the Irish. Today is the first day I'm really excited to see him in there and I really hope it works.

The Irish also have a LB in Manti Te'o who is appearing on some Heisman short lists. He sounds like a man among boys and, in that sense, is frightening. Turnovers are the reason the Sooners have one loss. If the Irish are as fierce and ballyhooed as the pundits say, then this is a classic turnover battle game. Landry has to have protection. How far has the O-Line come since K-State. We find out tonight.

The Sooner offensive arsenal, including Special Teams, is scarier than the Irish Defense. This Te'o fella can't cover them all and smear Landry at the same time. The Sooners need to pull out all stops and take their dynamic propensities to new heights.

My favorite weapon on a day like today, and my pick for OPOG, is Night Train Trey Millard. He's the most versatile. He's a matchup nightmare. He is a man among boys on the offensive side of the football.

DEFENSE

I ain't skeered of the Irish offense. The Sooner D has been getting stronger as the season wears on and they have another shot on national television to prove they are elite.

By all accounts the offense for Notre Dame is predicated on the run game. This means a lot of Tommy Wort which is not ideal, unfortunately. Hopefully the Sooners won't get burned on play action if he's in there.

I'm unconvinced that the Irish have faced anything resembling the Sooner defense. The Irish have put up enough points to win against teams that don't really strike fear in opposing defensive coordinators.

For my DPOG today I'm going with Demontre Hurst. I think the Irish will try to sneak in some big pass plays and they have to pick on someone. Demontre will make them pay.

THE SCORE

I think this one goes along the same lines as the K-State game. It's a race to 30 points. The Sooners can't turn the ball over more than once and get there. The Irish will have to capitalize on mistakes to do it.

The atmosphere will be off the charts. The stadium will be candy-striped red and white. They are handing out rally towels (the first time I can remember a giveaway). The proverbial roof was going to be blown off without these gimmicks but it's going to be a scene unlike any other. It obviously favors OU.

OU 24 Notre Dame 17

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner!

OU - Iowa in the Insight.com Bowl

Tonight in Tempe the Sooners cap off a season of disappointment and unrealized expectations. The Sooner coaching staff had us sitting at their feet and eating out of their hands with talk of this years squad being the favorite for the National Title. Oh how we lapped it up. Oh what a bummer.

So now here we are. The Sooners (4th place in the Big 12) versus Iowa (4th place in the Legends Division of the Big 10).

What a matchup! What stakes!

Let's review the storylines:

For Iowa, they lost their best Running Back. I don't know his name and I don't know his replacements name. But I do know that this replacement ran for something like 40 yards this year. Sounds like someone is due for a breakout performance and I know just the defense to help make it happen.

Speaking of, did you know Sooner defensive "lynchpin" and team captain Travis Lewis hasn't spoken to the media since Halloween and, rumor has it, all his teammates have pretty much ceased speaking to him as well? Camaraderie. The Sooners don't gots it.

There's also been a rash of transfers for the Sooners. "Cleaning House" according to Bob Stoops. I'm fine with it. If a guy doesn't want to play in Norman, fare thee well.

Whilst on the subject of roster thinning, how about not having Ronnell Lewis? Or Jaz Reynolds?

So there's two ways this thing can go. One, the Sooners buck up. They tuck in their bottom lip and change a shitty attitude that's been pervasive all year. Or, they put a nice tidy bow on a heaping turd of a crap cake.

Who's excited to see what happens?

OFFENSE

So, Landry hasn't thrown a touchdown pass since Ryan Broyles went down? And Jaz "Hands" Reynolds is injured? And Kenny Fuckin Shitbag Stills has inexplicably failed to step up? And, through injury and transfer, the Sooner backfield consists of Roy Finch, Brennan Clay and Trey Millard?

Well then everything should be humming like a sewing machine.

I'm going with Millard. He's been under-utilized to Stoops's chagrin. It's time to unleash the beast.

DEFENSE

Well I'm already scared that an anemic Iowa offense is going to come unhinged. The Sooner D gave Robert Griffin 3 a shove to the Heisman podium. Maybe the can get a Hawkeye on the long list going into next year?

I don't know what to do here. I'm going to say Jamelle Fleming for sentimental reasons. He's a Senior. He's played as well as anyone all year. He'll be eager to leave on a high note.

THE SCORE

I haven't felt less sure about a game all year. I don't know if the Sooners care. My crimson colored glasses tell me they will and they will shut down an Iowa offense that is not dynamic.

I hope, I hope, I hope.

I hope if I'm wrong that I remember it's a meaningless exhibition to close out a season that, by Stoops-era standards, was a major disappointment but by John Blake standards is still an overwhelming success.

Sooners 24, Hawkeyes, 13

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner. Happy New Year.

And a special shoutout to Kate Bendick, now engaged to Cousin Brad. Mazel-tov!

I See Your Bullets and Raise Ye Bullets

I seen that Navin put together some bullets mid-week. That's the kind of hard hitting journalistic gim-gam that will take this blog places. Well played.

Not to be outdone here's some thoughts of my own:

• This is a big week for the Steamroller. This blog's co-authors are going to be together, in person, in Norman for the A&M tilt. There's gonna be a party y'all. If you'd like to meet up, get autographs, touch our sleeves, etc. hit us up. We'll be hanging out in Norman long after the ballgame to watch the LSU-Bama national championship semifinal. After that Navin will be hosting a writer's workshop on drunk blogging. It's "can't miss". 
• I have an idea for filling the void left by Dom Whaley. Trey Millard and Roy Finch doing their best Thunder/Lightning impersonation. They can be on the field together in multiple formations. They both can line up virtually anywhere, and both are dependable. I'm not opposed to sprinkling in some Brennan Clay and Brandon Williams but I think the combo of Millard and Finch deserves about 25 carries. Finch obviously is picking up a lot of the load but Millard has more than earned some touches. Dude is a beast. My father-in-law seems to think Millard will move to Tight End next year. 
• Didn't think I'd be saying it but it sure was nice to have Tom Wort on the field again. He tied for the team lead in tackles and had two sacks. If the Sooners can get Jamelle Fleming back they'll be in business.
• Navin already mentioned the defense but it seems their effort has gone underappreciated. They held a top 10 team, in a hostile road environment to one first down in the second half. Kansas had about 10 yards in the second half against them. When this defense is on I'd put them up against anyone in the country.
• Jaz Reynolds is a bad motherfucker. He continues to improve and has become the 3rd receiver everyone thought the Sooners needed to make things easier for Ryan Broyles and Kenny Fuckin Shitbag Stills. 
• Speaking of Broyles, is there a craftier carrier of the football than him? They way he uses the sideline is incredible. You think there's no way he stays in bounds and next he's gone 20 yards for a score. The Sooners are going to miss him.

This:

Tony Motherfuckin Jefferson and Kenny Fuckin Shitbag Still as Caped Crusaders

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner