Big 12 Championship

After yet another week of winning a game they probably shouldn’t have, the Sooners find themselves on the cusp of another Conference Championship and, with a little help, the college football playoff. It’s a testament to Lincoln Riley and his offensive genius that this is even happening. Let’s face it, OU has no business being in the playoffs. Anyone with a defense that terrible shouldn’t win their conference even…which they might not still.

The longhorns dealt OU its only loss a few weeks ago. As much as I hate losing to anyone, let alone texas, the lone silver lining was that it resulted in the firing of Mike Stoops. This move was approximately 3 years later than was reasonable. Much to my chagrin, the defense got no better and possibly (is it possible?) worse. On the few plays where he wasn’t throwing to a wide-open receiver on 3^rdand 12 for 18 yards, Ehrlinger looked like Larry Csonka circa ’72. It was a maddening, yet tidy microcosm of the Sooners defensive 2018. Despite the thirst for revenge, a repeat today will surely net the same results.

Offense

The previous iteration of this game was probably Kyler Murray’s second worst performance of the year (I think texas tech is easily first). A costly fumble and a failure to get the offense moving until desperation time in the 4^thput the Sooners in a position they can ill afford to be in: one where they are depending on their D. I think Murray does a much better job today of coming out and putting the Sooners in the lead where they can dictate rather than try to play catch-up. I like Murray again this week for my OPG.

Defense

I didn’t get to watch much of last week’s game but I did see that when they weren’t doing a Roger Dorn olé impression, they actually forced a couple of turnovers. It ended up being the difference in the game. I’m certainly not counting on it, but I’m hopeful that OU can get the texas punter on the field earlier than the 3^rdquarter this time, even if it’s only once or twice. I’m picking Curtis Bolton today, he’s no world beater but he seems to play hard, and hopefully that’s enough.

Score

This is a big one. I won’t be able to watch today due to a lack of internet/American tv broadcasts, but I’ll be checking the score as much as I can. At this point, if it’s anything other than a shootout then it’s probably bad for OU. I think the revenge factor is on high, and OU does enough to win another conference title while paying back texas at the same time (you can have your stupid golden cowboy hat). Sooners win another track meet, 56-52.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin’ Sooner

UCLA

As far as new quarterback era debuts go, it would be tough to do better than last week. An allegedly solid FAU squad proved to be more the consistency of butt mud. OU plowed through them and around them and over them with strikingly little resistance on their way to a dominant blow-out. That a FAU returned 10 of 11 starters on defense, carries some merit even. Even the Mike Stoops-led defense resembled something more than the usual collection of porcelain figurines strategically placed to look like a football team. But before we go sucking each other's dicks, let's keep in mind that this is FAU after all. And despite some preseason optimism, they are likely to be one of the easiest contests on the schedule. This week a likely more formidable UCLA Bruins team comes to town.

Here is the sum total of my knowledge of the UCLA football team: they lost their opener, they've had some (very) historically decent seasons, they wear a light blue/gold color combo that I hated as a kid but find mildly appealing as an adult. That they couldn't beat Cincinnati last week doesn't mean a ton to me as I know nearly as much about Cincinnati as I do UCLA. I'm certain though that if they were a real national contender this year, they wouldn't have lost. After saying all of that, I do assume they'll be a much bigger test for the Sooners. Hopefully the Sooners are firing on all cylinders on offense again, and the defense continues to play a passable version of itself and OU can keep rolling.

Offense

It's tough to decide who I would pick from last week if I had it do over again, though I don't think Rod Anderson's  absurd line would be a bad choice. Kyler Murray looked very good, but wasn't exactly tested. That said, I am going to go with the dynamic fellow this week. Will the running game be solid? Sure, I think so. But, I think UCLA will make this enough of a game that Murray plays more than 1.5 quarters, and as such puts up some pretty solid numbers. I think 300+ in the air and accounts for at least 3 touchdowns.

Defense

In keeping with tradition, I managed to pick a player who failed to start the game. It was slightly better than some past efforts in that Caleb Kelly is on the team, and is not injured. However, I did have my eye on Ronnie Perkins. He made several plays early and his name sounds like he could write one hell of a song about driving an 18 wheeler. Mr. Perkins, you now have the hex on you, you've been warned.


Score

Knowing nothing about UCLA makes this difficult, but the result will in all likelihood be as wildly off-base and inaccurate as most weeks. I think the Sooners TCB and put on a solid win. I do think they may come out slow as the script is flipped from last week, in other words everyone is expecting the world and UCLA has been given no chance. With that in mind I think the Sooners do yeoman's work and win it 41-24.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

Florida Atlantic

We're back again loyal reader(s) for another year of the oft ignored/seldom read Steamroller. I am not sure how long we've been doing these posts but I'm thinking it has to be getting close, if not surpassing, ten years. Not a lot has changed save the forgettable and undoubtedly maligned audio/visual season. I could fairly easily go back and look up exactly how long it's been but that type of superficial research would break precedent of this half-assed site. Instead we'll press onward, facts and accuracy be damned. Welcome back. 

Last seasoned ended in unceremonious if not typical sooner fashion, with copious scoring and a steadfast refusal to attempt anything resembling defense. Several key players are gone from that very good sooner team none more notable than Baker Mayfield. When a player is drafted first overall, it's generally safe to say his replacement will represent a decline in production. For the first time in a few seasons QB is a question mark, however it's not a question of whom, but of how big that decline will be. Much of the luster has worn off of Kyler Murray since his freshman year at texas A&M. In part due to an underwhelming first year there, but also simply because time tends to create doubt, warranted or not. He looked good in tiny appearances last season, but teams gameplanning for him specifically represents a completely different obstacle. It will be interesting to see how he does. 

Offense

The aforementioned QB change aside, plenty has changed on the offense otherwise. Most notably the loss of key components on the offensive line. As any analyst worthy of an ESPN Under Armor high-school all-star game will tell you, this is where games are won and lost. Mayfield was great, make no mistake, but great protection and running game certainly help. Speaking of running game, last year's committee at RB slowly evolved into the Rodney Anderson show (who's inexplicable abandoning against Georgia cost OU the game in my opinion, but I digress), and what a show it was. That said the Sooners still possess great depth here. I'm a sucker for Trey Sermon who's a beast and it speaks to Anderson that he's gotten almost no hype going in to the season. WR looks well stocked and Calcaterra appears to be a capable replacement at TE. In this one however, I have to go with Anderson. Ball control will be essential against a fast paced, capable offense like FAU, and feeding Rod (really need a solid nickname here, The Rod?) will be a must. I think he goes for 150 on the ground and scores twice.  

Defense

As optimistic as I am with the offense, the defense is equally discouraging. I'm not sure where to find optimism, though I'm sure Mitchy can, yin/yang etc. Has anyone had a wider swing of adoration to loathing than Mike Stoops? I have ran the gamut with him and I've come to the conclusion that he's probably a great coach, coaching in the wrong era and unable to adapt. This could be a week one problem against a Lane Kiffin team that might as well be in the Big 12 with their style of play. Oh yeah, I'm supposed to pick a player here. I will go with Caleb Kelly. My main reasons are he has shown promise in the past, was a physically gifted recruit, and I'm 75% sure he's still on the team. 

Score

I think, as most do based on what I've read, that this will be a shootout. If OU comes to play defense in this one, let's just say it will be a welcome break of character. The last line I saw had OU -21, I would take FAU in that one, and I might now that Mississippi has sports books and I'm passing through there this weekend. I didn't see an over/under but barring something absurd I'll take the over. I do like the Sooners at home, and I think they do enough to win this in an angst provoking win. Sooners take it 47-33. It feels good to be back and it feels good to again say:

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner 

Georgia

Holy smokes, this is a big one. If you would have talked to me a few weeks ago, specifically right after the Big 12 championship, I would have been pretty confident for this one. But as time has passed, my confidence level has gone down notably and Georgia increasingly looks like a really tough draw. Don't get me wrong, I'd prefer to play them over Clemson or Alabama, but their defense is really, really good. Historically, it seems (to me anyway) that when a high powered offense meets a dominant defense, the defense typically has the edge. I certainly hope that doesn't hold true tomorrow afternoon.

Georgia relies on defense and ball control offense. This certainly matches up well for them as it has a two-fold effect of stopping the OU offense and keeping them off of the field with a very strong running attack. What they don't necessarily excel at is the passing game. This is probably a best case scenario for the leaky OU secondary. With any luck, Mike Stoops will have a solid plan to contain the Bulldog backfield. Otherwise, it could be a long afternoon for the Sooners.

Offense

Much hand wringing and angst has been happening over Mayfield and his illness. Rightfully so, as he goes so do the Sooners playoff hopes. Basically, it's the same story as it has been all year, Mayfield will need to carry the team in this one. With that in mind, it seems obvious he should be player of the game pick. True to form however, I am going to outsmart myself yet again with a "savvy" pick. It goes without saying that everyone is going to have to play lights out for OU to have a shot. I'm going to say Mark Andrews is the key to them winning. I think he has to have a big game softening up the secondary and opening up the run game with some big plays underneath.

Defense

If OU has a chance, it will be because the stop the run and make the Georgia freshman QB beat them. The D Line will have be stout and the LB's will be the key to them winning this one. I like Emmanuel  Beal to have a big game bottling up the Georgia Chubby. I think he makes a shitload of tackles and forces at least one turnover in a key performance.

Score

I'm shitting bricks on this one. OU has won all year by scoring early and often. I just don't see that happening against a stout Georgia defense. For the first time all year, the Sooners will need long methodical drives and they will have to play a ball control offense where points are at a premium. Though the Sooner D has been pretty terrible all season, I think Georgia's offensive style is a decent matchup for them. I think Mayfield does enough, and the defense does too in a butt clincher. OU 24, Georgia 20. Let's beat these guys.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Bedlam

Whoa mama, this is gonna be a tough one. The Sooners travel up the road tomorrow to take on the Oklahoma State Cowboys. The days of this being a big brother/little brother matchup are gone.  Granted OU holds a likely insurmountable edge in the all-time series, OSU has been consistently good for well over a decade now. The two teams are again highly ranked and again, both have plenty to play for.

The initial playoff rankings were released on Tuesday and they did an excellent job of serving as sports talk fodder and causing much angst and hand wringing. In reality, they mean absolutely nothing. The chances of these rankings being the same at the end of the season (when they do mean something) are as good as my chances of getting a nice bronzy tan next summer. Every team has it's fans (and sometimes coaches) complaining about where they are ranked and what they "deserve" etc about this time of year, I've been guilty of it plenty of times (this year included), but those complaints often have a way of working themselves out in the form of prompt losses. I didn't care for OU coaches and players coming out with that shit this week, if you win, it all sorts itself out. Which brings us to Bedlam, this and every game from here on out are must-wins if OU wants a shot at the playoff.

This week won't be easy. OSU comes in with a very high-powered offense that can score in bunches. If you've watched any OU football this year, that doesn't set up to be a great matchup against the Red Carpet. In my eyes, this game will come down to one position battle, the Sooner defensive line vs the OSU offensive line. If OU can generate consistent pressure without bringing the house, they have a great chance. If not, and the OU secondary is tested, it could be a long, frustrating day. OU will score, but that was never the question, how many times they can stop the pokes is.


Offense

How about the RB situation for the Sooners? I, and many others (I think), assumed this would be a weak point after the departures of Mixon and Perine. If anything it's looking like a major strength. To be fair, they are in a great position to succeed behind an outstanding offensive line and a QB that is a Heisman hopeful. But, nonetheless, they have really done the almost impossible job of being a committee where I'm happy to see any of them come in rather than the opposite. But back to that QB they play behind, he's been next to unstoppable lately. I think big rivalry games like this are what he lives for, I'm going with Baker Mayfield in this one. I think he has monster day and frustrates the Cowboy defense all afternoon.

Defense

In the "Credit Where Due" file, I'd like to submit Mike Stoops photo. I have complained a lot about his inability to make in-game, née in-season, adjustments. After a disastrous opening quarter of defensive football against Tech, the Sooners switched up their fronts and essentially dominated on defense the rest of the way. I have no idea (and even less faith) whether they can repeat that sort of adjustment, but it will be critical to the outcome of this game. As I alluded to earlier, getting pressure on Mason Rudolph and disrupting the run game up front is key. I will be as hopeful as possible and say DJ Ward has a big game on the edge and gets a sack in a key moment.

Score

My gut does not send out good vibes in this one. On the plus side, there is no way they can be looking past OSU. I choose to ignore the minus side. OU will need to play a very complete game, something they haven't done since Ohio State. Let's hope they get it together and crush the flying mullets. Sooners eke out a must-win 29-27.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Tulane

I hate to discuss old business at the beginning of this every week, but that was a damn good time last Saturday. At the risk of disparaging Bobby Stoops, that was the type of performance that hasn't been seen at OU in a decade. I can't remember the last time the Sooners played on a stage that big (and no, a nationally meaningless sugar bowl does not count) and kicked a team's teeth in. Aside from a solid drive, following a big kickoff return to open the second half, Ohio State did nearly nothing. Which leads us to the crux of the situation and I can't believe I'm even saying it but, the defense looked fucking good. Granted Ohio State hasn't done one thing to prove it's a good offense at this point and the Sooners may have exposed JT Barrett as what he is, a running back playing quarterback, even still that was damn fun. Let's also not overlook the OU offense. Offensive question marks aside, I don't think many would argue that Ohio State has a bad defense, in fact their front seven is one of the best in the country. Last Saturday, the only team that stopped OU on offense was OU. Bask in that glow for as long as you like.




....and we're back. Tulane rolls into Norman today for a tilt with the, now number 2 in the country, Oklahoma Sooners. Tulane resides in the heart of a rabid college football town, alas the town is rabid for LSU. While the Green Wave is never much more than a blip on the national spectrum, this is no run of the mill doormat. Should OU roll? Yes. Should this game be a formality? Yes. But, Tulane generally has a handful of NFL caliber players on the roster, and this is a prototypical let-down game. Am I worried? For the first time in years, I actually feel confident. Did I mention I'm excited for the Lincoln Riley era?

Tulane evidently runs some old school option type offense. I'm sure this is a jazzed up (New Orleans joke) version with some odd formations that get them in that game, but it boils down to disciplined assignment football. Ohio State game aside, this is not the type of offense that the Sooners under Mike Stoops have struggled with. The reason that option football has all but disappeared is because defenders have gotten so fast and athletic that teams who don't stay disciplined, or that miss assignments can recover. Fortunately for Sooner nation, the OU defense is both fast AND athletic. Basically, OU needs to get out of this one healthy and tuned up for conference play.

Offense

Cutting and pasting Baker Damn Mayfield here would be a short and accurate way of nailing this each week, but that would deprive you loyal reader(s) of me making an absurd and stupid pick each week (Trey Sermon last week not withstanding). I read earlier this week that coaches expected Mark Andrews to play this week, but predictably the Oklahoman neglected to revisit the subject as practices commenced. Why would anyone be interested in the health of the Sooners second best offensive weapon? (Regardless of his health, it seems like a good week to rest him in that I think this is winnable without him.) I went RB last week and I think (for now) Sermon has solidified himself as the first option. That said I think I'm going to go with CeeDee Lamb, he looks like the real deal and as fun as Badet is to watch, I think Lamb has the makings of a star WR.

Defense

Wow, what a show last Saturday, several guys looked the part not the least of which is Parnell Motley who really has the makings of being a stud. He was tested several times and answered. I don't however, envision Tulane passing a lot (though the may be forced to eventually if the score dictates it) so I'm going with Caleb Kelly. He's been somewhat quiet the first couple of weeks and with his speed I think he's going to make a bunch of tackles against the Green Wave's run-first offense

Score

I do think there might be some letdown after last week's emotional win. It has to be hard to get up for a second tier team after beating the number 2 team on the road. I do think the Sooners roll, however, just maybe not as dominating as could be. Sooners tighten up in this one, 49-21. This is getting fun again.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

UTEP

Welcome back loyal reader(s) for another fall football season with the Steamroller. For the first time in the history of this "publication" the Sooners will take the field on Saturday with a coach other than Bob Stoops leading them. It's a bittersweet thing for me personally. Stoops took over a floundering Sooner program that had languished under a parade of has-beens and never-would-be coaches culminating in the disaster that was John Blake. To say Stoops injected life into the program would be an overstatement of both life and injections. Stoops made Sooner football appointment television for not only people in Oklahoma circles, but across the nation. That national relevance was proven merited as they went undefeated in only his second season as head coach. Trick plays, going for broke, a high-wire offense and a defense that absolutely dominated. It was so fun to watch those teams. They were among the most talented, but the separation came from a young coach that did not give a fuck and was always several steps ahead of his contemporaries.

Top recruits in the country lined up to play for him, end of season award shows were littered with OU players and national championships were regular dates. Alas, after that magical run another title was not to be had. "Hey it's only been 5 years since they won it", slowly gave way to "It's been longer than it was after Switzer". In that interim, OU has been good but not great. While Stoops will never lose his place as one of the best to ever coach in Norman, Sooner football aims for greatness. I believe it was the right time for a change.

In steps a young buzzed about coach with a name that sounds like an ill-conceived late 70s sport hatch-back. While he certainly doesn't inherit the rubble that Stoops did nearly two decades ago, he does inherit a program in need of some energy and change. I'm fully aware that in two or three years I may be lamenting the move, that I may be longing for the days of a 10 win season and a conference title on a consistent basis, but for now I'm excited. I'm excited to see if OU can again play its best when the lights are brightest. I'm excited to see if they catch teams off guard with unexpected game-plans. I'm excited for a change. I just hope it's the right one.

Oh yeah, UTEP is playing in Norman this weekend. They have a team, presumably with helmets and everything. Of course in 2012 I thought the same thing and OU eeked out a short stainer 24-7. Which, is precisely the type of over-confidence and lack of preparation that I will hopefully not see. I couldn't know less about UTEP, I'm hopeful the 9 seconds I took to type this sentence is the sum total of time I spend wondering about them.

Offense

I'm not sure if you've heard or not, but OU lost some key weapons to the draft. Gone are the top rushers and receiver from last year. I'm sure there are some young bucks that are going to win over our hearts as fans, but Perine, Mixon and The Secretary will sorely be missed. With Ohio State looming, this is precisely the sort of game where their heir apparents need to make themselves known. In the meantime, I'm not sure how I can go with anyone other than .12 BAC himself. If anyone is going to lift up the young guys, it's Baker Mayfield playing behind what is likely the Big 12's best offensive line. I'm looking to see some Kyler Murray in the second half of this one.

Defense

If you read any of this blog last season (and hats off to you if you did), you probably became vaguely aware that I was disenchanted with the defensive play. It was summarily dogshit. If the guys want to do anything resembling a national title run, it will have to start with major improvement on the defensive side of things. I have to think Mike Stoops' leash got notably shorter now that big brother has gone off into the sunset. Maybe this will get him going and turn the defense around. There wasn't much to like last year, but Ogbonnia Okoronkwo was one who steadily improved throughout the season. I like him to have a very nice afternoon vs the Miners.

Score

I'm unusually optimistic in this one. I think there will be kinks to work out, but I think the Sooners come out fired up in this tune-up for Ohio State. UTEP will hang around for a bit, but OU pulls away at the end of the first half and wins it going away 59-10. Let's hope this is the beginning of a new era that proves as fruitful as the last new beginning did.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

The Akron Zips

The 2015 season kicks off for the Oklahoma Sooners football team tomorrow. And if you read our previews, this season comes with much optimism, if not angst. While there are questions to be answered on both sides of the ball, many are looking forward to heading down to Norman tomorrow to watch the boys plant some shiny cleats in the collective ass cracks of the lowly Zips from the MAC. Questions be damned, this will be a cakewalk. Or will it really? While the budget-friendly sneaker from the 80s (turns out they still make these FYI - research!) may not strike fear in your heart, this a dangerous team to look past.

The days of OU having enough talent to sleepwalk past a team like this ended about eight years ago, if you think otherwise, you've been pulling a Rip Van Winkle since then. Akron has a talented defense that ranked very highly nationally last season and they return the bulk of their starters. Cody Grice is a load that plays NT and turns around and becomes their short yardage battering ram in goal line scenarios (12 TDs last season). That type of athleticism can be found at nearly every position where Terry Bowden (yes, that Terry Bowden) has brought in many former 3 and 4 star recruits that left bigger programs for various reasons.

The Zips biggest questions lie on offense where they struggled last season. That said, they return eight starters on that side of the football. While Bowden hasn't named his starter, his two leading candidates are a two-year starter in Kyle Pohl, your more traditional pocket passer and Tra'von Chapman, a former 4 star recruit at Pitt who is the running hybrid style Q that gives Mike Stoops et al fits. Bowden is waiting to name the starter until "tee time," a smart bit of gamesmanship no doubt designed to give OU two very different styles to think about. Bowden has coached on this stage before, he will absolutely have his guys ready. If you think Oklahoma hasn't been the focus of every off-season workout and fall camp scrimmage, you're sorely mistaken.

In short, this is a trap game. A no name school from a second tier conference coming in to play the big bad owners of seven national championships. OU, at last look, is favored by 31.5. If I knew a bookie, I'd absolutely take Akron and the points. I almost regret looking these guys up. I think OU absolutely should win this game, and likely will, but I'm certainly far more worried than I was yesterday.

Offense

First game of the year is always a tricky one. I think I picked Trevor Knight last year. Then he went the way of Lonnie Jones where I vowed to never make that mistake again. It's tough picking a guy based on last season, but Samaje Perine seems as safe a bet as one could want. As Mitch detailed in the Offense Preview, he's an animal that almost no one could even contain. While that would be the smart pick, I'm going to be "clever" and go in a different direction. I think Sterling Shepard returns to the field healthy for the first time in nearly a year, and goes off. I think Mayfield leans on his best receiving weapon in his first start and hits him for a pair of scores. Shepard will be the forgotten man no more after Saturday night.

Defense

Whew, at the end of last season, picking the defensive player of the game was throwing darts...with no dartboard. I'm cautiously optimistic that this unit will come together this season. If it does, it will start with the best player out there, Eric Motherfuckin' Striker. He was quieted a bit last season, likely because he was one of the few guys offenses had to game plan for. I think whomever Bowden starts in the backfield, gets acquainted with Striker early and often. 1 sack and 1 forced fumble for Striker on Saturday. Boom.

Score

As I said, I don't feel like the Sooners will cover 31.5. I think the offense will struggle early as new pieces try to assimilate and Akron comes harder than they expected. I'm hopeful that Lincoln Riley can do what Heupel never could, make adjustments. I think he will, and the Sooners will get it done in an early wake up call that might actually be a good thing. Sooners win 27-10. I'm pumped for a new season and ready to see the Crimson and Cream sprint out on the field (though I won't actually be able to do this, thanks PPV) and roll some heads. Welcome back reader(s).


Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

The 2014 Sooners

Welcome back Steamroller faithful, we are back again for another season filled with flawlessly accurate predictions, clinical exploits of mastery over the written word, and rapist wit. Much ballyhoo is being directed at the 2014 incarnation of Bobby Stoops' squad. I for one am excited, and it seems that 2 years after hitting the reset button, Mikey has started to do Mike Stoops things that everyone clamored for prior to his re-hiring. There is real talent at nearly every position, and while the likes of Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin will certainly be missed, the front 7 give me the same feeling I had when I opened my first Playboy as a youth and feasted my eyes on hip-to-hip beav. Trevor Knight, who are ye really? I hope he comes back as the guy everyone remembers and not the guy everyone seems to have forgotten.

Mitch did a masterful job of covering the awards, and as the spoilers are out I see little reason to rehash them, but suffice it to say that Eric Motherfuckin Striker should have you (palm up/arm sweep at Sooner Nation) excited. I am instead taking the liberty of creating a few new awards for this season.

The TC Bread Award

Several years ago, I was looking through a player list for the Sooners roster and came across a player named TC Bread. Without question, this is the funniest name in the history of Sooner football. I never heard of this player again. To my knowledge, he never saw the field. Hell, he could have been a made up name by someone at the paper (side note: I once did this for a Sooners game. As a bright-eyed freshman I was asked to type up the roster list for the Nebraska game to be distributed in the press box during the game. Naturally, I put my own name, accurate height and weight, on the roster along with some other made up dudes, fun). Anyway, this year it's Jordan Smallwood.

Player Least Likely to Get Girls Based Solely On His Name

Poor Jordan Smallwood.

Best Silhouette

Almost went for a chiseled athlete but decided instead to go for OC Josh Heupel instead. His doughy pelican neck creeps ever so slightly over his half-buttoned coaches polo while his gut struggles to gain freedom from below. This leads me to believe that a silhouette of his would look like a humorous humpty-dumpty. I would buy this from Fathead.

Scariest in a Shower Situation

This one goes to the entire defensive line roster. They line up in two lines, shoulder to shoulder, across from one another, gauntlet style. Freshman have to run between the two lines getting into and out of the shower. I think this would feel a lot like running through one of those cages for RB's with the pylons on springs that slap your upper body and teach holding onto the football. I'm not on drugs.

Mat McCoy Memorial Gas Rag?

This one is actually legit, and unlike Old Steady I sincerely hope this position isn't filled. It, sadly, had been filled rather competently by Gabe Lynn the last couple of seasons. I hope no one steps into this role this year. Any DB with a penchant for getting burned with ease and alacrity teeters on the cusp of being dubbed Gas Rag. This is less than ideal.

Louisiana Tech

I suppose we should discuss this adversary. The line I most recently saw was OU giving 35. While I whole heartedly agree that the Sooners will win this game, I would put my money on LaTech with that kind of line. I'm just not confident enough in Trevor Knight et al, and even more Josh Heupel, that I think we can put up 40 points on these guys (though a shutout isn't out of the question). I think our defense is going to great, and while OU has question marks it has them in the right places. I'm firmly in the camp that every team looks better with good line play. A good offensive and defensive line will make everyone else on that respective side of the ball look better. Conversely, great skill players look bad if the line is getting fisted all day. Offensively, we have little experience returning at WR, RB and frankly QB (in spite of the Sugar Bowl performance), but up front we return a ton of veterans. Defensively, the Sooners might actually have 2 full defensive lines worthy of starting, there is that much depth. Yes, losing Frank Shannon hurts. A lot. But as Dominique Alexander aptly demonstrated (what a beast!), some times a star going down (RIP Corey Nelson) paves the way for an even better player to step up. Hopefully Jordan Evans does something similar.

Offense

I'd like to go Trevor Knight, I really would. I hope as much as anyone that he is the world-beater we saw in the Alabama game. But, until I see it consistently, I'm not ready to bestow anything as prestigious as this blogs pre-game OPG yet. I'm going against the grain a bit. I think Keith Ford comes in and makes little brown underwear streaks of this defense at LaTech. I like him to break out in a big way, at least one touch and 100+ on the ground.

Defense

I really feel inspired by Dominique Alexander (my current front-runner for Old Steady). He makes a ton of tackles and by his own assessment, he's no longer "thinking out there", just reacting and making plays. That's scary. But, in spite of all of this fluffing I'm doing, I'm going with Eric Motherfuckin' Striker. I feel like Mikey is going to do some good things with him this year, and we will see him in the backfield sodomizing teams in obscene ways. I think he separates a QB from the football once today, and makes big plays all evening.

Score

Ideally Trevor Knight and the boys will be sipping gatorade and wearing awkward unbroken-in hats by midway through the 3rd quarter. However as I said, I think the Sooners control this one, though maybe not to the tune of a 35 point win, but close. I think the offense shakes off rust early, and gets in a groove as things go on. The defense? Well, I think it will make a long day for Skip Holtz and co. Sooners win this one in front of a PPV TV audience of dozens, 35-3.


 Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.


It's good to be back.

Iowa State

As many of us suspected, last week's game was a drubbing. OU was outmatched in nearly every phase. Most notably our offense failed to do much of anything at all. Later I read some ridiculousness about how Baylor was slanting on the defensive line and that was why they couldn't get anything going. The one late drive where OU marched down and scored was the only one where Baylor didn't "slant" up front. So this shit is what completely baffled us. No one at all on the coaching staff was able to see this and adjust? My suspicion is Briles et al were equally baffled that this one wrinkle was 1) so devastatingly effective and 2)  no adjustments were made throughout the entire game. If this is all true, then that is really embarrassing for the OU staff. Let's not even get into the fact that we were unable to score from the 1 yard line. Our defense played quite well, that is until they were asked to stay on the field for 90% of the game. Alas, the natives appear to be restless as Heupel is nearly certainly going to be ridden out of town on a rail, and the sooner the better I say.

I, predictably, know almost nothing about Iowa State. I tried hard (not really) to come up with something creative and entertaining to open with about their team. I'm just not feeling terribly inspired with the Sooner football program of late. I hate to say it's wearing me down because I don't think that's exactly true, but it gets tough to draw inspiration from the uninspired I guess. This is in Norman today, so it should be a W for our boys in Crimson. I've learned, though, that nothing is to be taken for granted anymore, so hopefully we can play solid D and do enough on offense to win this one.

Offense

I've officially crossed over into the realm of disliking the Belldozer era, and I'm really not sure it's even his fault. He seems to know his limitations, yet he's consistently asked to do things outside of them. Sadly, that's just one of many problems with our offense (albeit a large one). All of that said, I'm saying fuck you to any sort of logic. After all, it's gotten me nowhere this year in terms of coming close to picking one of these right. I'm going with Sterling Shepard. He's the closest thing to a favorite target of Bell's. He's also damn fun to watch after the catch. I like him to do something great today. That great thing might be hooking up with two girls at the same time after the game tonight, but whatever, I'll take it.

Defense

I think the defense has been showing some promise. They're often asked to do too much insomuch as they are on the field waaaaay too long. However, they often start really well. I'm hopeful that Mike has the guys pointed in the right direction and our D is slowly returning to it's past dominance. Yes, I'm aware how fucking stupid I sound on the heels of giving up 42 or whatever to Baylor. I still think there is a lot of promise on that side of the ball, and we seem to not be doing as much of the dumb shit we had been in recent years. Today I like Eric "Ted" Striker (well played Mitch, it's official now). I think Ted is in the backfield a lot, as he is wont to do. He's a great blitzer and the OT's we see generally can't match his speed on the edge. I like some big stops from him today. Side note: I'm tired of Gabe Lynn acting like he's Ronnie Fucking Lott back there. Dear Gabe, you still fucking suck. You miss far too many tackles and you still get burned deep. Yes, you're embarrassing skills are better hidden at Safety than they were at Corner, but make no mistake, you are shit. You are Gas Rag for a reason. Please graduate or expire your eligibility soon. Thanks, --the guys at Steamroller.

Score

I don't know much about Iowa State, but I know we've embarrassed them enough in past seasons that they are "up" for this chance to beat a down Sooner club. So we'll get their best shot. I'm glad this is at home. I think we'll be able to handle them for the most part. I like the Sooners today, I really do. OU 27 Iowa State 17.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.

Tulsa

This Saturday pits our beloved Sooners against the Tulsa, Golden Hurricane. Much has been made of how ridiculous it is that a school located so far from the threat of a hurricane should have such a name. Cue some asshole explaining how it's not really for a hurricane but for blah blah blah... Shut up. I've decided that a golden hurricane is something of a euphemism along the lines of a Cleveland Steamer or a Blumpkin. Basically 15-20 fat Japanese men binge on beer until each is nearing a bladder rupture. They then disrobe and form a circle. Then a young girl kneels in the middle of them. At this point they simultaneously unleash a furious deluge of urine, soaking her in a Golden Hurricane. I wish the on-field mascot reflected this better. 

Going into this campaign I knew there would be some growing pains. I assumed, given the plethora of returning skill position players, that the majority of said pains would be on defense. Oh how I was wrong. While the D has looked excellent (deceptively good I think, but I digress), it's the O that has been basically terrible. Trevor Knight was bad enough last week that the coaching staff replaced him in the 4th (knee injury or not I think) with Blake Bell. Moreover, they opened up the avenue that they might have been wrong about Knight, something that Bobby has not been wont to do historically. Bell did little to quell any fears pertaining to the passing game but did manage to be the tortoise to Knights hare, in that his slow and steady was effective at moving the chains late. 

I'm hopeful that Bell can find some kind of groove in the passing game. It's going to be rough (long term) if he can't and Tulsa feels like a good time to "get right". Defensively, I hope we can keep it up. Schematically I'm not sure we've been dramatically better than recent years, but I will say that the tackling has been light years ahead of last season. That alone is worth a nod to Mike Stoops. The spread has us giving 24, that seems generous given our struggles last week. Nonetheless, we play to win, if not cover, and I think we'll do that. 

Offense

Last week I picked the right position, but couldn't have been more wrong about the player. Brennan Old Steady Clay had a railroad spike between my legs all night. What a game. I still wish we'd spread the touches around the backfield more, ie Millard, but it's hard to argue with the two-headed monster of Williams and Clay. I would really like to go with Jaz "Hands" Reynolds or LaColtan Bester, but I just don't think Bell will drop back and throw enough to make that realistic. Perhaps this is a hindsight pick or betting on last race's horse, but I'm going Brennan Clay this week. He was just a total force all night, and wasn't stoppable even when I knew what was coming. I think that earns him copious touches against Tulsa and he responds with 100+ and 2 trips across the goal line. 

Defense

I really feel like Frank Shannon is becoming a huge difference maker on D. He's almost quietly been (arguably) our best defender. Credit where due as well: Gabe "gas rag" Lynn hasn't been completely abysmal either. That said I've got a new guy out there that is rapidly becoming one of my favorites this year, Charles Tapper (aside: can we just make his nickname "ass" now? It's too awesome to not have Charles "Ass" Tapper. Nope, it's done, Ass Tapper). I'm going with big Charles this week. I think he picks up a sack and is a force on the defensive front both against the pass and run. 

Score

As I said, 24 seems like a reach with our O. I think this one might be painful to watch though I don't think it will be in doubt too terribly much. I like OU 28-10. Bell gets the ground game rolling and the ghosts of Bud Wilkinson smash their way to a win. 

Time to roll heads. Early start, early finish. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner 

WVU

As the first light of dawn reached into my bedroom, I awoke. My buckskin pants already on, I turned my legs toward the floor and my feet delved into my fur lined, high-top moccasins. As I stood I simultaneously stretched, and reached for the tassled, tanned leather jacket hanging on a deer antler next to my bed. I pulled its soft, animal embrace over my skeletal frame. Sleep still in my eyes, and morning still on my breath, I placed my time-worn coonskin cap on and threw my musket over my shoulder. My arm pushed open the weathered, wooden door to my bunk and my gaze met the morning sun with a squint. As I took my first breath of the crisp morning air, I felt the familiar deluge of carnal excitement as I went into the next bunkhouse to fornicate with both of my sisters. And it was golden.

--from, "The Mountaineer: My Year of Torrid Incest as an Adult Male Cheerleader", HarperCollins; 2003

There's a less than 3% chance I made that up, which is roughly on par with the chance I give WVU of winning today in Norman. Everyone knows the details of last season's track meet in Morgantown. The Sooners emerged victorious but not before allowing Smith, Austin et al to literally run at will all over our embarrassing, wait-it's-not-two-hand-touch?-defense. It's the worst performance defensively of the Bob Stoops era. It was the least satisfying win I can remember, but a win nonetheless.

All of the key pieces of that onslaught, and of Dana Holgerson's (semi) relevant Mountaineer team of last season, are gone. New QB, new skill position guys and it all showed up (or didn't, depending on..) last week. WVU had to rally, RALLY, in the second half against The Tribe of William and Mary. Granted, I'm sure they were overlooking them a bit, but still. They certainly won't be looking past OU on the road today. However, I'm sure we're eager to shut them down and prove that last year was the exception, not the rule. My suspicion is Mike Stoops has not failed to remind the defense of how fucking terrible they looked last season against these guys. My hope is he's got a game-plan together to show them "what's what".

Last week marked the debut of Trevor Adophilous Knight (probably/certainly not his real middle name, but it sounds damn fine and "right" to me). He showed Sooner Nation his ability to scramble. He also showed he can be woefully inaccurate in the passing game. While I didn't get to watch the game ($49.95 to stream ULM on SoonerSports?? Not a fucking chance), reports indicate he settled down as the game went on. I hope that he's more poised today and starts making the good throws that are there. Of course, it's nice to have our running game as a fallback. I was pleased to see from the box score that Roy Finch had a nice day, and Mitch seems pretty high on Keith Ford. That said I was disappointed that Heupel found enough touches leftover to give Trey Millard one (ONE!?) carry. I hope that changes, though I have strong doubts.

Offense

I liked going with Knight in his debut, and I think a case can be made that he was OPG. Early returns look as though Jalen Saunders may be a favorite target as he had a nice game last week (nice call, Mitchy). I was pleased to see Trey Metoyer find the endzone last Saturday as well. This week, I'm feeling as though Knight picks up the passing game even more, and puts up better numbers. Though I'd love to go with Knight or a receiver, I feel like it's going to be someone on the ground today. The running game is such a tough pick with so many options (underutilized or not) to give the ball to. I'm going to go with Roy Finch. I'm excited that he's becoming a part of the offense (again) because, let's face it, when he is out there he almost always does something awesome. I think 100+ yards is unrealistic with all of our options, but I feel as though an all around balanced day of running and receiving with one score is coming.

Defense

I really wish I could have seen last week's game. It's been so long since we've shut down anyone, regardless of what kind of team it is, to that degree. Only two trips past the 50! I must say it feels good. We're clearly not going to keep putting up those kinds of games in the Big 12, but it's a nice start. Though Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin played well last week, it felt even better to tip a cap toward Frank Shannon and Charles Tapper who both ended up having really nice games. With that in mind, I'm going to pick Frank Shannon as my DPG (Defensive Player of the Game, not Disrespectful Pounding of the Gash). I think he makes a lot of big tackles today, and leads us to another solid defensive performance.

Score

I like what the D showed last week, and I like that WVU struggled to score against William AND Mary (I mean, both of them??) last week. I also think the offense gets rolling even more this week with Knight settling in earlier. Sooners win this one 41-17. Solid performance out of the gate, and we keep the pressure on throughout.

This is my first game of the season to watch, and I couldn't be more excited about the prospect of it. It's payback for last year and we'll do it in a big way. Let's roll heads.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

ULM

For the first time since being totally destroyed on the biggest stage (again) last January, the Sooners take the field with a clean slate this evening. As I mentioned in my post on Wednesday, I have an odd mix of resignation and optimism on the season. But as I wiped my eyes this morning and rolled out of bed, optimism sprung up. While I'm not sure what to expect during the course of the season, today I'm expecting an ass beat be put on the poor saps from ULM.

Yes, the pundits say that ULM is not to be taken lightly. They started their season by beating a respectable Arkansas team on the road and played (a shitty) Auburn close last year. They also had tough losses to such powerhouses as Arkansas State and Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns. With that in mind I'll chalk the Arkansas upset to being overlooked and the others to not being a great team. Listen, they are who we think they are and if you want to crown their asses then go ahead and crown them. Denny Green aside, they're a decent mid-major capable of beating us. However, I don't think it's likely.

The biggest story of our day, and what has me brimming with curiosity and excitement is the debut of Trevor Knight, aka not lonnie jones. I'm pumped to see what this supposed wunderkind can do. I'm also pumped that for the first time in 3+ seasons I'm not going into a game absolutely certain that I'm going to hate at least 10 things our QB does.

Defensively, well, who the hell knows what can happen? In my exhaustive (read: less than 7 minutes of...) research, it seems that ULM did put up quite a few points most weeks in 2012. So it appears that they know (knew?) how to score. This fact gives me more pause than anything else, given that last season we welcomed opponents into the endzone like so many penises into a chubby drunk sorority girl longing for acceptance. I didn't do any defensive newcomer selections, mostly because I didn't think of it (hat tip: Mitch), but the guys I'm excited to see, and think may have big years, are Frank Shannon and Charles Tapper (in addition to, of course, Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin). Let's hope we set the tone early this year by shutting someone down.

Offense

I feel like there are a lot of options here given the amount of talent we have returning to the skill positions. However, given Heupel's play-calling resume, it's a goddamned crapshoot figuring out who will get the ball (read: not Millard, Trey and Finch, Roy). However, there is at least one player guaranteed to get touches. Maybe it's the 3rd cup of coffee ("Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home..."), but I'm doing something I haven't done in those aforementioned 3+ seasons, I'm picking our QB, Trevor Knight, as my offensive player of the game. I think (hope?) that the young buck rambles, scrambles and throws all over the field today and lends me one of those corn-dogs Mitch observed in Mike Stoops' shorts (front, not back). I'm thinking 250+ passing yards, 50+ rushing yards, 3 TD's and 1 int (he'll have hiccups).

Defense

Here I really only have one option at this stage of the season given the number of question marks on D. So no bullshitting around, my pick is Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin. I don't foresee any int's due to the fact that they'll likely avoid going his direction much in the passing game. That said I think he makes multiple big tackles and forces a fumble in the run game (he can hit).

Score

My hunch is they can score. I'm hopeful we can too. Provided we don't run shotgun draws every play and turn into The Chuck Long Project (the offense, not the progressive rock trio I can only assume exists somewhere) again, I think we'll put up some points ourselves. It might not be flawlessly pretty but I think we win convincingly today 41-24. No I don't like that it's that close but they get a garbage TD in there at the end.

Let's roll heads, it's Sooner football season again.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner!

2013 (half-assed) Preview

Here we are faithful reader(s), back again for another fall of The Steamroller. It's been a somewhat uneventful off-season. There were a few position coaching changes but the base staff remains intact and Mike Stoops emerges from under the blanket of not being acclimated to the new style of play in the Big 12. In other words he really doesn't have many excuses left. 

On that note the defense looks pretty thin. Up front we return very little and those that are back aren't raising tents in the pants of sooner nation. The secondary could be decent. Aaron Colvin looks tough but little else is proven and in some cases (I'm looking at you Gabe "Gas Rag" Lynn) all that's been proven is that he couldn't cover a baby's eyes with both hands. That said there are some young bucks who will vie for meaningful PT so it might not be as bad as we think. The LBs are all promise and no production up to now but we can hope Corey Nelson et al can figure it out. Things look bleaker than they have in years but the unknown also brings promise with dread. 

Offensively, things look much better with proven experience at almost every position save one. That of course is QB where a redshirt frosh won the job over the only guy who does have experience there. I'll take that as a positive sign. He's well positioned to succeed with the loaded backfield and WR corps, not to mention a pretty well seasoned OL. As for our QB, I'm clinched up like everyone else hoping for Bradford not Bomar. 

It's kind of a strange year. It's the lowest my expectations have been in years, but while the untested nature of the squad isn't ideal, I'm almost excited about not knowing. The wildcard here is Knight, and while he's been (allegedly) a world-beater in practice, that's a long way from Saturday mornings.  I'm hopeful, I like that expectations are down. Lets hope that the lack of pre-season consideration for anything meaningful pertaining to the end of the year gets Bobby back to his old ways and has this team playing like the Sooner clubs of old. 

I'm predicting a Big 12 championship, which may speak more to the conference than to our squad. 

This year's MF is none other than Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin. 

We haven't discussed this year's Old Steady but I'm leaning to Brennan Clay. Mitch?

I'm pumped to have another fall of football at hand. We'll be back soon to talk ULM. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

Texas A&M

My original title for this post was "Johnny Footbal...er Texas A&M", but Mitch beat me to the punch on that one, so-to-speak. This is always a bitter-sweet post for the season. It's the last until a long summer, football void. Yet, it's generally preceding the most important game of the year. Although this isn't a BCS bowl (NIU more than proved their worth by kinda hanging with an underwhelming FSU team for nearly 3 quarters), it's certainly the cream of "the rest" if you will. In fact, apart from the National Championship and last night's (in hindsight) less-than-competitive Fiesta Bowl, I don't think it's reach to say this is the most interesting matchup of this bowl season. That fact alone has me pumped for this one.

This is the end of an era of OU football. It's the last game for an icon, the hero to all who've ever done less with more, the master of hurrying under center then standing up and looking to the sideline to see what he should do, JC's favorite son, Lonnie Jones. Needless to say, my mention of this post, and the game it pertains to, being bitter-sweet certainly alluded to Lonnie regarding the "sweet" part of it. I'm not sad to see him go, not even a little. When he inevitably throws a terrible pick this evening, I'll get some small bit of satisfaction knowing it's the last game I'll have to endure it.

However, this might also be our last year of real contention for a bit. We stand to lose quite a bit in terms of personnel. Too much to even begin to highlight really. This doesn't even include the underclassman who may leave early. I know we probably have some pretty decent young guys who will step up next season, but I think there are going to be some rough times next year. I digress however, tonight is a huge challenge and I am not sure if I've had this much doubt going into a game in a long time.

We all know about Manziere (Can I say that this nickname is number one on my list of disappointments as it pertains to conference realignment? It's too perfect, we could even alternate in "The Bro" from time-to-time. Such a bummer), he's an absolute animal. Not to mention, if you were to have Japanese scientists design a cyborg QB tailor-made to shred every OU defense of the last decade it would be this guy. This alone is terrifying, but throw in an all-world offensive line (including a possible #1 overall NFL draft pick/4 year starting LT) facing a subpar and now depleted DL and things look very grim indeed.

Our best chance in this one is to hope that we can keep pace with their scoring, we get a couple of more turnovers than them, and that Mike Stoops is able to work some of his old magic (read: don't count on it). This is getting depressing, on to the picks!

Offense

Last game of the year and I haven't given this too much thought really. I've thought about the game, but not who I think will step up. There are several people who I'd like to see step up, in fact I hope they all do. I'd love to say Justin Brown in his last collegiate start, or Fuckin' Shitbag who may also be suiting up as a Sooner for the last time, but I'm not. I'm going to go with Damien Williams. I think tonight is his coming out party on the national stage. It's high time everyone else got a look at the guy we've known was hard all year. I like him to break off at least one long one and show that extra gear. It will be awfully fun if he does.

Defense

I have about as much confidence here as I have any other game this year, that is to say none. I really wish David King or one of the guys up front really put on a clinic tonight and keep the Manziere in check. Sadly, I don't see it. For no other reason than I'm going with my heart here, I'm picking Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson. He's gotten to the point, I think, where he's so consistent that it's hard to notice how much he does. Tonight, I think we get a taste of how dominant he can be. I've got a bad feeling this is his last game as a Sooner. I think he knows it, and I think he steps up accordingly.

Score

As I said, I've got an awful feeling here, I really do. But, I also have faith and I think if we play as well as we're capable of that we can win. They're good, but they've got the same number of losses that we do. I think the offense does it's thing, and the defense does just barely enough. It's a close one, and it comes down to the fourth quarter. Sooners pull it out (tee hee) 31-30.

Now, for the last time this season, let's roll some motherfucking heads and show these rotten bastards that they're lucky to have left the Big 12.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

Notre Dame

Huge game today down in Norman, enormous actually. The famous Fighting Irish of Notre Dame travel to Oklahoma to take on our beloved Sooners. Notre Dame comes in with a terrific defense that has kept them undefeated, and currently in the top 5 in the country. More importantly, they're legitimate National Title contenders thanks to that unblemished record, and who they will have beaten if they run the table (read: us).

The Sooners, as we all know, played what now looks like the best team in the conference at a time when we hadn't quite come together. That one loss might keep this game from establishing a clear national title front runner (for us anyway) but it hasn't slowed the hype machine of this massive (and nearly unheard of) tilt between two non-conference teams both ranked in the top 10. Incidentally, that loss may also be the only thing keeping Berry Tramel from exhuming Bud Wilkinson's corpse, making love to it, and then writing another nostalgia piece about nothing relevant to today's football, and by "today's" I mean the kind with non-leather helmets and face-masks. (Aside: a game I've made for myself is to go to The Oklahoma Daily's website on my phone and try to guess, by the title, which of the OU articles are by Berry Tramel. It's remarkably easy. I'd say I have about a 96% success rate. The only ones that are tough are that "gray" zone of overlap when Jenni Carlson writes one of her bullshit off-the-field-pieces. Though if it's written about a player currently on the roster then you can almost always rule out Tramel.)

GameDay is in town, tickets are tough which might mean a raucous crowd (please, please, please), and there is even a movement to set up one of those "let's all organize the color of our t-shirts" deals that is so camera-friendly. Though I have my doubts that the even/odd section coloring will actually be pulled off with any real success, still I'm hopeful. In a semi-related story the odds are strongly in favor of the back of my jockey's becoming a "brown out" prior to kick-off. In short, I'm excited.

This is going to be an extremely tough one for us to win I think. If anyone hasn't been watching, our Q doesn't do well with pressure or elite defenses (speaking of brown outs). However, he's teased us the last 3 Saturdays. Also, he's been historically better at home where the pressure of a crowd isn't on him as well. What makes me nervous is Notre Dame has been damn good against the run this season. I think our ability up to now to run the ball, more than anything else, is why Lonnie has had this string of good games. If that gets taken away tonight (a very real possibility), it's going to be up to him to carry us (cash your tickets, brown out achieved). If there is a weak area of Notre Dame's defense, it's the secondary. Let's hope we can exploit it enough. The picks...!

Offense

Man oh man, what to do here. What I'd love to say is Damien Williams. I'd love to have confidence that he will break off some big gainers, and go for about 25 carries and 175 yards with some scores mixed in there. I just don't think it's going to happen. Honestly, I'm not sure anyone is going to have huge numbers today. I do think if someone does though, it's going to be in the passing game, for reasons I mentioned before (don't think you can jump straight to the picks section, reader(s), these are complete journalistic works with foreshadowing and other crap I vaguely remember from college). I'd love for Lonnie to air it out on some deep balls to Justin Brown, and I think we'll try it a couple of times. But, it's a big game against a big time defense. I think Lonnie reverts to his old ways some today (how I hope I'm wrong) and looks to a security blanket. Since Broyles went down last season, the closest thing to that is Kenny Fuckin' Shitbag Stills. I think Stills gets a lot of looks today and does enough with them to be my player of the game.

Defense

Our defense matching up against their offense is what makes me feel hopeful today. We may have a hard time moving the ball on them, no doubt. But I think they're going to struggle doing the same. Notre Dame is unbeaten but it's not been because they're putting up 50+ a game. OK, once they scored 50, against Navy. Anyway, our D has quietly been building steam, and has been pretty damn solid all year and particularly since we lost to K State. I like Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson to have a huge day today. He's this year's MFer. He's a total badass. Plus, it just feels like the kind of day where Mike Stoops has some crazy wrinkle he'll break out and do some cool things with Tony. I don't know why, but I've got a good feeling about Tony today. Let's pencil him in.

Score

I've left little doubt that I think this is going to be low scoring. Though my normal inclination, when everyone in the world expects a defensive struggle, is to go the other way and pick high scoring, I just don't see it today. I think it's close all the way and I think the score is low. However, I think our defense will do just enough to keep us in it for a late score and victory. I like the Sooners at home, 14-10.

Crack the PBR's, wear your lucky underwear, whatever it takes. Let's roll some heads on these fancy gingers.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

Texas Tech

Honestly, I don't where to begin this morning. I'm still thinking about the KState game, or more accurately, I've nearly quit thinking about this season as a result. I've had on my list to get something up about the KState game for two weeks. I just really haven't had the heart to do it. It's nothing about KState in particular that I especially hate, it's the type of loss that punches my stomach like Ali. I've thought of tons of things about my OU fandom in the last week, but suffice it to say this is the nadir of my tenure as a diehard Sooner football fan.

I don't want anyone getting the idea that I'm fair-weather, band-waggoner, front-runner or any other cheap-fan adjective. Those that know me know that isn't true, but if there are doubters just know that I spend time every morning of the year following the Kansas City Royals (and enjoy the hell out of it). So maybe it's expectations that are killing me here in Sooner land. I have none in baseball, but I certainly do in the college football landscape. That's part of what comes with winning a national championship in your second year, returning three more times, and resurrecting a storied program out of rubble. Those things, along with the 10 wins that Mitch mentioned, buy Stoops the longest leash available. But if you haven't noticed a trend of playing "entitled" football over the last 6 or 7 years, you haven't been watching the same team I have.

It's no secret what my thoughts on Lonnie are. How I long for the days of Sammy B. How I long for the days of nearly any quarterback of the Stoops era (honestly, I can't think of anyone I'd choose Lonnie over, that's sad given the likes of Paul Thompson and Nate Hybl) other than Lonnie. It's hard to disassociate Lonnie from Stoops. Losing is losing. Maybe whoever takes over next season at QB (or if we hit the lottery, this year) will be stellar and Bobby will again look like a premier coach. But for now, we're stuck with ineptitude and failure at the most critical position on the field. If our coaches can't get the other 21 guys ready to roll heads, then that's on Stoops. I'm tired of looking like we don't care. I'm tired of looking unprepared for teams. I fondly remember the days (nearly a decade ago!) when we came up biggest when the spotlight was brightest. Now, I just feel defeated, constantly waiting for the river of shit to come flowing from under the covers.

Fear not, I will persevere. I will continue to watch. I will continue to scream at the TV. I will continue to have genuine disbelief when even the most predictable calamities occur. This team is my team, and though disgust I may have, I will never quit watching, caring, or following them religiously. There is a game today. In spite of my previous rambling diatribe on the disappointment that this team embodies, I feel good. I'm pumped to watch the boys play. I'm pumped to see some football on this Saturday afternoon. I'm pumped to watch OU kick the bloody shit out of Tech down in Lubbock.


Offense

This gets harder to pick every week. I really agree with Mitch that Heupel just doesn't have any ability to game-plan or prepare his players.  Much of the blame, admittedly falls on Lonnie, but still. Every time I pick someone they seem to vanish that week, so I'm trying to decide who I should eliminate from the possibility of touching the football and making forward progress. I think I'm going to go with Damien Williams. Not that I want him to disappear, I just think all of this talk about how many carries he should get means we'll force feed him the ball all day. If success follows I've got no problem with this move. He's really been our only consistent weapon on offense to date. I think he breaks at least one long run and cracks 100 yards today.

Defense

The picks don't get any easier over here. I don't know what Tech does well, nor do I care. However, I'm sure that by 6:30 EST I'll know full well. Up to now the ballyhooed (by me, I admit) return of Mike Stoops has been, ahem, underwhelming. I still feel we'll improve with him calling the shots. Today I'm getting back to square one. I'm not going to over-think it, which really means I'm going to be predictable and go with the best player we've got on the field, Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson.  I think Tony has a big day today. I'm not necessarily saying he forces a bunch of turnovers, but I think he'll be noticeably involved and light a couple of poor saps up.

Score

I'm not foreseeing a rout of any sort. I don't think we're good enough to blow anyone out. We are however, good enough to beat anyone we play. Doing so is a different matter entirely. For whatever ever reason we tend to struggle in Lubbock. That's a bad thing for this team. But, I'm optimistic we can get it done today. I think the Sooners do enough, and Lonnie is passable (get it?). OU wins 24-20. It's ugly, but at this point I'm not looking for style points.

Tip the PBR's. Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

Oklahoma Sooners 2012 Defensive Preview

For the better part of a decade the eyes of Sooner Nation have been focused on the offensive side of the football. Year after year the tempo rose, the weapons amassed and scoring was off the charts. It was always assumed the defense would be competent enough and close enough to the championship levels of 2000 to keep opponents under 30 points. The thinking went, and rightly so, that the Sooner offense could score 30 in its sleep.

For the first time in years the hopes of a Sooner championship rest squarely on the defense. For the first time in a long while, the defense offers the best reasons for hope and optimism heading into the season. And for the first time in nearly a decade, Mike Stoops is stalking the Sooner sidelines.

To reiterate: Mike Stoops is back coaching the defense.

Stoops wasted little time making changes. Things are going to be simpler. Tony MF Jefferson is moving to Free Safety where he can patrol the secondary. It's always a good idea to have your best player be in a position to wreak havoc.

The loss of last year's most consistent defender, Jameer Nelson, stings but the Corner combo of Demontre Hurst and Aaron Colvin will still be the league's best. Colvin is poised for a breakout year. Demontre also speaks highly of Sophomore "Mayor" Julian Wilson. Stay tuned there.

Javon Harris and Gabe Lynn spent much of 2011 locked in a duel to claim the memorial Matt "Gas Rag" McCoy trophy. Lynn's contributions in the Texas Tech game were especially unwelcome.

Up front there has been some upheaval. Stacy McGee (Senior, 14 starts) has been suspended. David King will now spend more time inside rushing from the 3 Technique (football term). King was underrated in 2011 and could wind up anchoring the D-Line. RJ Washington has never lived up to the hype and he seems a bit pissed about it. Hopefully this translates to improved play on the field.

To quote the Longshoremen from Major League, "Who are these fuckin guys" sums up the rest of the D-Line. Mitch Tate, Charles Tapper and Chaz Nelson sound more like an Ivy League Coxed Pair Rowing team than Defensive Ends. Chuka Ndulue and Mike Onouha are battling for spots on the all-name team as well as for playing time at Defensive End.

Usually there are guys who feel like 8th year seniors (See: Jamarkus "Booger" McFarland) but Linebacker Jayden Bird breaks the mold. I figured he was a Junior at best but he's a Senior. Who knew? Tom Wort' s son is already being recruited but he could wreak havoc this year if he can keep from tearing a knee ligament. (Aside: How is Tom Wort a Junior and Jayden Bird a Senior? Doesn't seem right) Corey Nelson needs to live up to his potential.

And really you guys, potential is what we have to go on with the defense to start this campaign. It's all hope and optimism, raibows and unicorns. There is some quality talent and memories of crushing defenses from the early 2000's but there are some real questions on the defensive line.

My feel is that a positive attitude adjustment will by itself shave a touchdown off opponents scoring average and in the grand scheme that could be enough to make a run. If the attitude results in a bunch of baby-eaters running around with their hair on fire then so much the better. I welcome the opportunity to yell at my television in a good, nee great way.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner!

2011-2012 Offseason Review

I scrapped the first draft of my Offseason Review. You see, a key offseason development was the dismissal from the football team of Jaz "Hands" Reynolds, Trey Franks, Kameel Jackson and Quentin Hayes. I must admit, I didn't realize Quentin Hayes was dismissed. I barely knew he was on the team. He's that good.

Two days ago, the Sooners announced three of the four have been reinstated (Kameel Jackson, he of the prematurely announced transfer to Texas A&M being the lone exception), although all three are still suspended indefinitely. I imagine they'll come back (At least Jaz Hands and Franks) after the opener at UTEP when it will become painfully obvious that a team with perennial title hopes cannot win said title with a system Quarterback and no experience at the Wide Receiver position.

Oh, and on that note, what else could put more pressure on Lonnie, Coach Josh Heupel and the rest of the Sooner offense? Why the return of Mike Stoops!

Nothing has the groins of Sooner faithful swolt like the return of Mikey. The love-hate relationship with Brent Venables is over and, so too, hopefully, the bend-but-don't-break defense that the Sooners have come to rely on over the years. I believe the final straw may have been Venables and Willie Martinez (also gone) architecting the Robert Griffin III Heisman Highlight Reel in Waco (I'm a glutton for punishment and watched the re-airing of this one a few weeks ago. To call the defense sieve-like is an insult to kitchen implements, or really anything, with gaping holes).

The return of Mike does, of course, bring it's own level of pressure and expectations but this is Oklahoma and nothing but a title is ever really sufficient. In this case, nothing short of the baby-eating, sure-tackling, ears-pinned-back mentality that accompanied the dismantling of Florida State for that national title in 2000 will suffice.

So, as I say, no pressure or expectations.

There were also some offseason roster moves. I happen to be of the mind that if a player has contributed exactly nothing to the football team, that player has taken exactly nothing off the table by not joining the team. I don't think armchair recruiting gurus feel the same but they can go kick rocks.

One such player that failed to qualify academically is JC WR Courtney Gardner. I'm sure this has nothing to do with the return of Jaz Hands and Franks. Will Latu, an offensive lineman also couldn't make the grade.

What hurts the most is the loss of Ben Habern who called it quits after dealing with nech issues since high school. Habern had started 30 games in his career at Center and was preseason All Big 12 this year as well. That stings and will come back to haunt. Book it.

Next, Navin and I will go over the offensive side of the football for the 2012 Sooners. Obviously, it will be chock full of "insider only" info so you'll want to check and/or set your RSS feed accordingly.