Notre Dame

OK big game today. It's pretend vs. real Saturday. No pressure or anything but today could make or break the season. If we lose, we are who we thought we were. If we win... Can this team make a run at losing on the national stage at season's end?

A month ago Sooner Nation keyed on this game  and we hoped to have a pretty decent idea of what this team is made of. We still have no idea. We think we have a world class run game. We think we've found a quarterback. We think the D is improved.

But we find out today. Everyone is healthy. It's all hands on deck. Even the coaches are breaking rank and saying this game means more than others. This is a big damn deal.

Can the Sooners overcome this Notre Dame mystique? How are the Sooners 1-9 all time against ND?

OFFENSE

I don't know if Blake Bell will be even close to what he was last week. Notre Dame's D is a damn sight better than Tulsa. You can tell the Belldozer has a few brain cells to rub together. He doesn't seem to rattle or wilt like Lonnie. I've got a feeling we have a gamer in this guy. This all bodes well. The QB situation, for better or worse, seems solved.

Can we run the football? We can only hope Josher doesn't get locked in Chuck Long style into his game plan. In other words, let's hit them inside, let's hit them outside, let's run around them, let's run through them. Let's throw the kitchen sink at them. We have the personnel to adapt. Let's adapt.

Can the O-Line deal with a mean Notre Dame D Line. You know the boys up front want some revenge after getting man-handled last year. It's cliche but this is the whole deal. Can Blake have time to survey the field or will he have to win this game on his feet? Can we establish a run game and carry for 100 yards?

Not to be a front runner here but I'm going with the Belldozer. He's the key. If he can make good reads, manage the game, run as needed and not crap his pants we've got a real shot here. I like him.

DEFENSE

Unbelievable to think the return of Gabe Lynn will help this team. Also, the return of Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin will be huge. In other words, the Sooners finally have all hands on deck.

Our D has gotten a bit lucky. There have been a handful of long gains and/or touchdowns missed due to a case of the dropsies. Then there's occasional lapse in the run game. It all needs to come together today.

OU's defense is improved but how much? We've not seen Cortez Johnson and Colvin on the field at the same time. The D has to put their best foot forward today and, on paper, we'll have our best guys out there.

I can't believe I'm doing it but I'm going with Gabe Lynn today. I think he plays a nice center field and he comes away with a pick. The guy is actually a bit of a ball hawk.

THE SCORE

I've got some real anxiety about this game. All I can think of is being at the game in 1999 and watching that second half meltdown. Then I remember getting worked last year. History has not been kind to the Sooners in this series. How in the world are the Oklahoma Sooners 1-9 against anyone?

In recent years the Sooners have gotten up for about 3 games a year. Today is one of those games. This team is different. They have an edge and an urgency to them and I think they have the personnel to bring back some swagger. The return to the top can start today.

OU 27 Notre Dame 21

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

Notre Dame

Today the Sooners walk into, arguably the most hallowed ground in college football, to battle against the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. The program is as storied as the come, and with the hiring of Brian Kelly, has made a full return to national relevance culminating with a trip to (and subsequent ass-beat in) the National Championship game last season. The list of traditions is long and oft discussed. Touchdown Jesus, slapping the Play Like a Champion sign (which might be one of the greatest heist jobs in history as it's a blatant rip-off from OU, I digress), painting the helmets for every game with paint allegedly containing real gold...and the list goes on. However, what many of the main stream media and general population don't know is that there are a few traditions that are just as vital to the aura and mystique of Notre Dame football that continually fly under the radar. Let's end the suspense:

The North Bend
While South Bend, IN is the home to Notre Dame, the North Bend is long-held, pre-game tradition that no player puts on his cup until he has throbbing erection. This, along with painting the helmets, the pre-game handy is a perk of being the Football Pep Club. Multiple, conflicting theories exist as the origin and significance of this tradition.

Lou Holtz Pregame Speeches

No, the legendary Lou doesn't come to each game and fire up the Notre Dame troops. Upon hiring each new ND coach, one of the first orders of business is to have an ill-fitting retainer made. Before each game, the coach pounds two Jaeger bombs, puts in the retainer and delivers a garbled, saliva-blasting speech to inspire his team.

Shower Rides
While it's true that no player has been carried off of the field since Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger famously was, it's said a new tradition was born the following season. The star player of the game rides the player of his choice in a soaped-up shower celebration, while the rest of the team chants his name as a cap-tip to Ru-dy! Ru-dy! Ru-dy!

The Dusting of the Pubes
The famous gold in the freshly painted helmets is widely discussed. However, few know that the priests at Notre Dame shave the first pubes of the altar boys until the age of 16 in order to "keep them young and pure." These pubes are sprinkled all over the field and is said to provide the team with fresh legs throughout the game.

That is but four of the "secret" Notre Dame traditions that make the school the greatest gift to college football that has ever existed. Let's hope the Sooners don't crumble and wilt in the face of such glory.

Offense

Sooner Nation is still basking the glow of Blake Bell's dominant performance two weeks ago. The 'Dozer made everyone in Norman hit the streets to find the "heady nugs" that Stoops Heupel et al must have been smoking when Trevor Adophilous Knight was named the starter in his stead. While his passes were on time and accurate, sadly the barometer that is the Tulsa defense isn't the most telling. I, for one, am excited/anxious/nervous to see what he looks like against a very solid Irish D. Their front seven is pretty hard at every position, and their D-line in particular will provide a very tough challenge for our running game as well as pass protection. However, their secondary is rumored to be the bacon-caramel-brownie to their Kirstie Alley (read: weak point). With that in mind, I'm going with a receiver today. I think Jalen Saunders gets back on track after not being a focal point in the passing game last week. I think he gets in the end zone at least once today and makes some big catches for us.

Defense

This will be a big test for our boys on what has been a surprisingly solid defense thus far. Supposedly OU will be mixing in some of their 4-3 that was the mainstay of the Stoops brother's defenses until being supplanted for a 3-3-5 that was installed this past off-season. I've loved the play of our linebackers this year; Frank Shannon has been awesome. Jordan Phillips and Charles "Ass" Tapper have been very tough on the line as well. Today I'm going with Corey Nelson on defense. Long on potential and short on production in years past, he's finally (and almost quietly) playing like the star he was rumored to be for the last few seasons. I like him to be "flying to the football" today and making a bunch of big tackles.

Score

This is a huge test for our boys today. The Sooners have a longstanding tradition of their own, shitting the bed against the Notre Dame. While the Irish and their faithful will undoubtedly adhere to their traditions today and always, the Sooners will fly in the face of history with a win in South Bend. It will certainly be tough, but revenge is on our minds after last season. The defense plays well, and the 'Dozer does enough to win. The Sooners leave the scoreboard at 21-17.


Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Tulsa

Over the course of the week I was able to go back and watch the ballgame. Youtube is the best by the way.  In hindsight I think the Sooners got pretty lucky. West Virginia had chances and they simply made one or two more mistakes than the Sooners. WVU had a dropped pass in the end zone, some wide open misses and, of course, their share of turnovers.

For the Sooners, Trevor Knight was lackluster (to put it nicely) in the passing game but he had help. There was that LaColtan Bester fumble after a nice throw and run for instance. The turnovers in the red zone were inexcusable, however.

So this week we have intrigue. Knight is dinged up with a "leg" and Blake Bell gets the start. Wink Wink Nudge Nudge Nuff Said. A good performance entrenches him. But if the passing game continues to suffer there may be chaos, panic and disorder. Kendal Thompson has even been cleared to practice and evidently will be the Belldozer's backup this week. Worst case you could halfway through the season and have literally no idea what you have at quarterback. I still don't miss Landry though.

OFFENSE

My thoughts on Josh Heupel are well documented but it is incumbent on him to get this passing game off the ground, so to speak. The run and gun offenses of years past thrived on quick slants, screens and outs. Oh, how we hated them back then when Landry would get the snap, turn and fire to Ryan Broyles et al. But now that short passing attack seems pretty good. Also, what about screens to these running backs or, gasp, Trey Millard? Something should be available given how teams will be forcing the Sooners to pass.

This offense is clearly strong like bull in the run game. It would make no sense to pick someone other than a back. And it would be crazy to really pick anyone besides Brennan Clay. That's who I'm going with. He seems to be a fine young man who deserves all the success he's enjoying thus far.

With the Belldozer working his way into the offense and Josh Heupel running the show this game could be simple and fast. The clock stays running and as little as possible is done to preserve a winning score. Read: Zone Read, Sweep Right, Quick HB Belly.

The Sooners are fucked against Notre Dame if they don't evolve offensively against Tulsa this week. Book it.

DEFENSE

This group has excelled against inferior competition thus far. Tulsa is no different so this should be enjoyable.

The biggest surprise through two games has to be the performance of the D-Line although with expectations as low as they were for this unit it would be difficult to not exceed them. That's your backhanded compliment of the week sponsored by, "Overbearing Dad" Magazine.

With that in mind I'm going to pick Jordan Phillips as my DPOG. I want to pick Chuka Ndulue but a beer buzz at the time of this writing is keeping me from it.

THE SCORE

The best thing I can say about this game is that it lines up perfectly to give me the opportunity to take my son to his first Sooners football game. Mild-ish weather, early start, cupcake opponent. I've been waiting a long time for this.

On the field I expect domination in the "not as close as the score would indicate" fashion. The Sooners offense beats up Tulsa, the D flies around enough to ward off too much damage and Michael Hunnicut leads the Sooners in scoring.

I hope I'm wrong and this is all a reverse jinx.

I like the Sooners 31-10.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

Tulsa

This Saturday pits our beloved Sooners against the Tulsa, Golden Hurricane. Much has been made of how ridiculous it is that a school located so far from the threat of a hurricane should have such a name. Cue some asshole explaining how it's not really for a hurricane but for blah blah blah... Shut up. I've decided that a golden hurricane is something of a euphemism along the lines of a Cleveland Steamer or a Blumpkin. Basically 15-20 fat Japanese men binge on beer until each is nearing a bladder rupture. They then disrobe and form a circle. Then a young girl kneels in the middle of them. At this point they simultaneously unleash a furious deluge of urine, soaking her in a Golden Hurricane. I wish the on-field mascot reflected this better. 

Going into this campaign I knew there would be some growing pains. I assumed, given the plethora of returning skill position players, that the majority of said pains would be on defense. Oh how I was wrong. While the D has looked excellent (deceptively good I think, but I digress), it's the O that has been basically terrible. Trevor Knight was bad enough last week that the coaching staff replaced him in the 4th (knee injury or not I think) with Blake Bell. Moreover, they opened up the avenue that they might have been wrong about Knight, something that Bobby has not been wont to do historically. Bell did little to quell any fears pertaining to the passing game but did manage to be the tortoise to Knights hare, in that his slow and steady was effective at moving the chains late. 

I'm hopeful that Bell can find some kind of groove in the passing game. It's going to be rough (long term) if he can't and Tulsa feels like a good time to "get right". Defensively, I hope we can keep it up. Schematically I'm not sure we've been dramatically better than recent years, but I will say that the tackling has been light years ahead of last season. That alone is worth a nod to Mike Stoops. The spread has us giving 24, that seems generous given our struggles last week. Nonetheless, we play to win, if not cover, and I think we'll do that. 

Offense

Last week I picked the right position, but couldn't have been more wrong about the player. Brennan Old Steady Clay had a railroad spike between my legs all night. What a game. I still wish we'd spread the touches around the backfield more, ie Millard, but it's hard to argue with the two-headed monster of Williams and Clay. I would really like to go with Jaz "Hands" Reynolds or LaColtan Bester, but I just don't think Bell will drop back and throw enough to make that realistic. Perhaps this is a hindsight pick or betting on last race's horse, but I'm going Brennan Clay this week. He was just a total force all night, and wasn't stoppable even when I knew what was coming. I think that earns him copious touches against Tulsa and he responds with 100+ and 2 trips across the goal line. 

Defense

I really feel like Frank Shannon is becoming a huge difference maker on D. He's almost quietly been (arguably) our best defender. Credit where due as well: Gabe "gas rag" Lynn hasn't been completely abysmal either. That said I've got a new guy out there that is rapidly becoming one of my favorites this year, Charles Tapper (aside: can we just make his nickname "ass" now? It's too awesome to not have Charles "Ass" Tapper. Nope, it's done, Ass Tapper). I'm going with big Charles this week. I think he picks up a sack and is a force on the defensive front both against the pass and run. 

Score

As I said, 24 seems like a reach with our O. I think this one might be painful to watch though I don't think it will be in doubt too terribly much. I like OU 28-10. Bell gets the ground game rolling and the ghosts of Bud Wilkinson smash their way to a win. 

Time to roll heads. Early start, early finish. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner 

WVU Thoughts, Reflections, and Ruminations

I guess now that WVU has joined the Big 12, we can count on at least one win a year being strangely unsatisfying. For the second contest against these guys in less than a year, I've witnessed a Sooner win that left more questions than answers. Although, it's a completely different scenario this time.

• Our passing game looked terrible (professional insight that might have otherwise gone unnoticed). Trevor Knight clearly has all of the tools physically...and that's where it ends. He looked completely lost tonight. I didn't see the first game, as I mentioned yesterday, but this clearly wasn't a case of just missing open guys. He was locked on to the primary receiver every time he dropped back and threw the ball with no regard to coverage. He was late hitting guys out of the breaks. In short, he was totally overmatched...by a Dana Holgerson defense. 
• The running game was awesome. So awesome in fact that by the end of the third quarter and beyond, everyone on the planet knew we simply weren't going to pass anymore, and we were still gashing them. 
• Our coaches had/have absolutely no confidence in our ability to pass. It's clear now why Knight won the QB derby out of the fall. Once Bell came in we became a pure option team. He must look awful in practice because they don't even pretend to want to let him throw.
• The Defense was salty again. Apart from a horrible play where no less than 4 tackles were missed en route to a 75 yard TD, they gave up zero points. Some of that falls on WVU (there were many bad throws to open guys, dropped passes, penalties etc.), but credit where it's due, the D held when it needed to. They need to work on stopping screens, but looked tough against the run all night (save the one play). 

There is a lot to work on, and if we can't figure out the forward pass, and soon, it's going to be a long year when better teams are met. On the plus side, Texas got beat and looks like they can't stop the run whatsoever. Let's we improve this week.

WVU

As the first light of dawn reached into my bedroom, I awoke. My buckskin pants already on, I turned my legs toward the floor and my feet delved into my fur lined, high-top moccasins. As I stood I simultaneously stretched, and reached for the tassled, tanned leather jacket hanging on a deer antler next to my bed. I pulled its soft, animal embrace over my skeletal frame. Sleep still in my eyes, and morning still on my breath, I placed my time-worn coonskin cap on and threw my musket over my shoulder. My arm pushed open the weathered, wooden door to my bunk and my gaze met the morning sun with a squint. As I took my first breath of the crisp morning air, I felt the familiar deluge of carnal excitement as I went into the next bunkhouse to fornicate with both of my sisters. And it was golden.

--from, "The Mountaineer: My Year of Torrid Incest as an Adult Male Cheerleader", HarperCollins; 2003

There's a less than 3% chance I made that up, which is roughly on par with the chance I give WVU of winning today in Norman. Everyone knows the details of last season's track meet in Morgantown. The Sooners emerged victorious but not before allowing Smith, Austin et al to literally run at will all over our embarrassing, wait-it's-not-two-hand-touch?-defense. It's the worst performance defensively of the Bob Stoops era. It was the least satisfying win I can remember, but a win nonetheless.

All of the key pieces of that onslaught, and of Dana Holgerson's (semi) relevant Mountaineer team of last season, are gone. New QB, new skill position guys and it all showed up (or didn't, depending on..) last week. WVU had to rally, RALLY, in the second half against The Tribe of William and Mary. Granted, I'm sure they were overlooking them a bit, but still. They certainly won't be looking past OU on the road today. However, I'm sure we're eager to shut them down and prove that last year was the exception, not the rule. My suspicion is Mike Stoops has not failed to remind the defense of how fucking terrible they looked last season against these guys. My hope is he's got a game-plan together to show them "what's what".

Last week marked the debut of Trevor Adophilous Knight (probably/certainly not his real middle name, but it sounds damn fine and "right" to me). He showed Sooner Nation his ability to scramble. He also showed he can be woefully inaccurate in the passing game. While I didn't get to watch the game ($49.95 to stream ULM on SoonerSports?? Not a fucking chance), reports indicate he settled down as the game went on. I hope that he's more poised today and starts making the good throws that are there. Of course, it's nice to have our running game as a fallback. I was pleased to see from the box score that Roy Finch had a nice day, and Mitch seems pretty high on Keith Ford. That said I was disappointed that Heupel found enough touches leftover to give Trey Millard one (ONE!?) carry. I hope that changes, though I have strong doubts.

Offense

I liked going with Knight in his debut, and I think a case can be made that he was OPG. Early returns look as though Jalen Saunders may be a favorite target as he had a nice game last week (nice call, Mitchy). I was pleased to see Trey Metoyer find the endzone last Saturday as well. This week, I'm feeling as though Knight picks up the passing game even more, and puts up better numbers. Though I'd love to go with Knight or a receiver, I feel like it's going to be someone on the ground today. The running game is such a tough pick with so many options (underutilized or not) to give the ball to. I'm going to go with Roy Finch. I'm excited that he's becoming a part of the offense (again) because, let's face it, when he is out there he almost always does something awesome. I think 100+ yards is unrealistic with all of our options, but I feel as though an all around balanced day of running and receiving with one score is coming.

Defense

I really wish I could have seen last week's game. It's been so long since we've shut down anyone, regardless of what kind of team it is, to that degree. Only two trips past the 50! I must say it feels good. We're clearly not going to keep putting up those kinds of games in the Big 12, but it's a nice start. Though Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin played well last week, it felt even better to tip a cap toward Frank Shannon and Charles Tapper who both ended up having really nice games. With that in mind, I'm going to pick Frank Shannon as my DPG (Defensive Player of the Game, not Disrespectful Pounding of the Gash). I think he makes a lot of big tackles today, and leads us to another solid defensive performance.

Score

I like what the D showed last week, and I like that WVU struggled to score against William AND Mary (I mean, both of them??) last week. I also think the offense gets rolling even more this week with Knight settling in earlier. Sooners win this one 41-17. Solid performance out of the gate, and we keep the pressure on throughout.

This is my first game of the season to watch, and I couldn't be more excited about the prospect of it. It's payback for last year and we'll do it in a big way. Let's roll heads.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

OU vs. West Virginia

Judging future performance on the recent past is a tricky business. It's borderline dumb in sports. Any given Sunday and all that jazz. But last week, West Virginia had to throw the kitchen sink at William and Mary to eek out a win at home. I pegged William and Mary for a women's field hockey powerhouse. Nevertheless, a game that was, on paper, the best of the 2013 Sooner home slate now looks a little less appealing.

That's dangerous thinking that the Sooners would be advised not to buy into.

I watched a little bit of the WVU game and the Mountaineers trotted out some half wit at quarterback name Greg Millard. I am delighted to call him Greg Marmalard. I hope he plays early and often. He seemed ineffective.

OFFENSE

Anyone who wasn't pleased with last week's performance is a jerk. Trevor Knight was shaky early in his first meaningful action since high school. That's understandable. Some of his passes should have been caught. He managed the game, his lone turnover was awarded via replay and was a long pass on 3rd down anyway (effectively a punt). He got rid of the ball quickly, didn't take a sack and didn't fool the o-line with snap counts and such.

The running game was damn good too. It might not happen this year but Keith Ford is going to be a star. On one play it took three defenders to bring him down and they all got up slowly. The dude runs hard.

I would expect more of the same this week. I expect the passing to be marginally improved by virtue of the distribution of the ball being a bit better.

For my OPOG I'll go with Roy Damn Finch. He saw more action than I expected and I think he'll break some longer ones this week. The good news is there are options here week in and week out.

Before we move on to defense I'd like to highlight that both Navin and I made awesome picks last week. Both Knight and Jalen Saunders were impressive.

DEFENSE

Sooner fans should be pleased with what they saw on this side of the ball last week as well. Shutouts are hard to get. There is clearly an athletic upgrade across the board from this year to last. They seemed to play with a sense of urgency. I was really impressed by Jordan Phillips and Charles (Chaz) Tapper on the line. Frank Shannon and Corey Nelson both played well. Eric Striker is a linebacker in a Safety's body. Zack Sanchez was solid at DB. Quentin Hayes and (gulp!) Gabe Lynn were both flying around.

I'm cautiously optimistic that the attitude and snarl missing from year's past has finally made its return.

For my DPOG I'm going with Cory Nelson. I'm hopeful that the Sooners might have an answer to all the underneath stuff these widespread offenses are using. The LB's really seemed like they were covering some ground last week. Maybe some of these plays can get funneled to these guys and that they have the athleticism to make the plays.

Seems crazy picking an LB but what the heck.

SCORE

It's too hard to believe that WVU can be as bad as they appeared last week. I chalk it up to new personnel and looking ahead a bit. Also, Dana Holgerson seems like a putz so he probably just didn't have the boys ready to play. So, I think they look a little better this week and score some points.

I do not, on the other hand, believe that the WVU defense can hold a wet fart. This will not be the shootout of last year but there will be lots of scoring.

OU 42 WVU 24

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

ULM Quick Hits

Quick hits on OU's 34-0 victory over ULM

Trevor Knight

• Trevor Knight made plays on 3rd and long
• He gets rid of the ball fast
• Finally he settled down and made some nice throws
• Lots of room to improve

On the Offense

• Keith Ford will be a stud. He lays the lumber
• Roy Finch got a ton of touches
• Run game was awesome
• Very few penalties was great

Defense

• Defense was fantastic
• Goose eggs against anyone is a big deal
• Frank Shannon was a beast
• Charles Tapper looked great
• Jordan Phillips 
• Zack Sanchez
• Julian Wilson
• The D looked athletic and they had a chip on their shoulder. Definitely encouraging.

34-0 is better than I'd hoped for. We're clearly going to be national champions. JK. Good start though.

PS I'm "Affected"