I have good news. I visited the oracle this morning and the oracle says OU victory. By oracle, I mean I had one of the most fulfilling shits in recent memory. Pretty much a courtesy wipe and a lingering feeling of bliss (at least half an hour) in my gut. Had it been a scatalogical nightmare (read: double-digit wipes) I'd have a sense of doom.
There are other signs that should make Sooner fans feel good. Both Desmond Howard and Lee Corso picked OSU. Desmond Howard might be the dumbest "analyst" on television. Lee Corso is, as we all know, a jinx and blithering asshat.
On GameDay this morning, the tension within the OSU crowd was palpable. They stood, stone silent as the crew made their picks. There were signs saying, "No Poke Choke". Okay, when your legacy is choking and you feel compelled to make a sign trying to reverse-jinx said legacy, it tells me your head is in a bad place.
My broham, Navin, is in full-bore Doomsday McGoo mode. This always lifts my spirits.
Finally, this is one of those rare occasions where the Sooners find themselves in the underdog role. The theme of this week has been that the OSU offense is unstoppable, the Sooner defense is a sieve. OSU is at destiny's doorstep. This is the biggest game in the history of their program. This is already the winningest season in their program's history (chortle). So Bobby and the Sooners have a chance to, A) silence critics by beating a top-10 team on the road B) said top-10 team is an in-state rival, C) a trip to the Big 12 Championship is on the line and D) the week's conversation has been nothing other than this is OSU's championship to lose, not OU's chance to win.
I think the Sooners will be "focused".
There are two keys to the game (from a Sooner perspective and that's all we're interested in). First, can Landry Jones not crap his jock? Dear please God say yes. Two, can the Sooner D-Line get to Weeden? He does not like to run. In theory, this should bode well for the Sooners.
The Picks
Offense
On offense I can not justify picking anyone other than DeMarco Murray. I just can't. The man is on a mission and today that mission is to make Cowboy fans remember this as the game where DeMarco Murray ran roughshod up and down the field and ripped our collective hearts out.
Defense
I'm sticking with my theory and picking the best player on that side of the ball. I'm with Navin. That player is Tony Jefferson. I want to pick someone on the D-Line. I want to pick someone like Casey Walker because my father-in-law says he's back and will be a tremendous help. But this is not the day to step out on a very slender limb. I have to go with our best here.
Conclusion
I'll be in attendance with my main man Robbie. I hope our karmic levels are high. If the Sooners win I cannot wait to feel the hopes and dreams of 55,000 poke fans vanish into the ether. If the Sooners lose I'll make my escape quickly whilst some pencil-dicks get maced by the Oklahoma Highway Patrol as they try to take down the goalposts. Dear God let the Sooners win.
Final Score: OU 38, OSU 31
Boomer to the motherfuckin' Sooner
Saturday, November 27, 2010
OSU
I'm typing this on my phone so it's going to be short and to the point. I have a terrible feeling about this. I think our defense is going to need to play far and away their best game. I think Landry is likely to set the single game record for fullest pants in the shit category. But, predictably I think we will win it.
Offense
I think landry does, in fact, make some dumb plays and miss some open receivers. However I think he does enough that Ryan Broyles is my player of the game. I think Broyles puts a rest to the Blackmon argument with a huge day.
Defense
Over here I like Tony Jefferson. I think he really becomes an OU star. Big stage, I think he makes some big plays both against the pass and coming up against the run.
Now I know everyone and their brother sees this as a shootout. I however think it will be lower scoring. OU wins 21-17.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.
Offense
I think landry does, in fact, make some dumb plays and miss some open receivers. However I think he does enough that Ryan Broyles is my player of the game. I think Broyles puts a rest to the Blackmon argument with a huge day.
Defense
Over here I like Tony Jefferson. I think he really becomes an OU star. Big stage, I think he makes some big plays both against the pass and coming up against the run.
Now I know everyone and their brother sees this as a shootout. I however think it will be lower scoring. OU wins 21-17.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
OU vs. Tech Post-Mortem and OU vs. Baylor
I'm about to write the easiest "piece" in the history of football. The only thing making it difficult is that I'm so drunk every sentence takes me about 10 minutes to hammer out.
I failed to write a column leading up to this Texas Tech game. If you co-write this blog you already know this. If you don't, then I'm just taking up 0's and 1's on the "Interwebs" and wasting my e-breath.
Had I written an OU-Tech pregame it would have said something about how Landry Jones (no nicknames; Solidarity) was certain to throw for 400+ yards and who knows how many touchdowns. Well, he had 5. Big fucking deal. I would have said DeMarco would be steady as a rock and how the defense would get some sacks and get some turnovers. Well, they did. Of course they did. It's a fucking joke how this team is all-world at home and first class pant-shitters on the road. I couldn't even enjoy this game because every time something positive happened I couldn't help but say to myself (or, because I may or may not have been inebriated, to every one in my purview), "OF COURSE THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE WE ARE AT HOME, NOT ON THE FUCKING ROAD!"
It's so easy to predict it's sickening. The Sooners can beat anyone by two touchdowns at home. I'd love to make it a challenge and look forward to the road games coming up (Baylor, OSU) but it's not so much an anticipatory adventure as much as a fucking crapshoot.
Oh well, on to bigger and better things.
Baylor should be as close to a home game on the road as Texas is at the Cotton Bowl. I mean, all bets are off if the Sooners don't show up for this one. But Robert Griffin III is quite capable and to call us shaky on the road is like calling Tony Parker foolish for cheating on Eva Longoria.
But who gives a shit because you know why? I'm going to New York City to watch this one with my buddy and fellow co-blogger Navin. I could not be more pumped. I COULD NOT BE MORE PUMPED!
We'll be enjoying some adult beverages at a hole-in-the-wall, Sooner-themed bar in Manhattan where we'll, together, get to witness an OU road-game bed-wetting. Innocent bystanders might not be ready for the scene, even New Yorkers.
I'd like to say we'll have the wherewithall and inclination to do something maxo-zune-dweebie like co-blog or live blog the game and our experiences. But we are not assholes so unless something really strange happens (probably won't because we'll be so sober) don't count on it.
Quick picks before I hit the road.
Offense
It can only be one of four players. DeMarco, Ryan Broyles, Kenny Fuckin Shitbag Stills or Roy Finch. I feel like I pick DeMarco every week so he's out. Ryan Broyles only sets records at home because Landry gets confused when he isn't wearing a red jersey. So he's out. Ditto Kenny Fucking Shitbag. Roy Finch might not get on the field. Coaches Stoops and Wilson will explain it away like the Baylor scheme wasn't right for him or something nonsensical. Nonetheless, I'm stealing a page out of Navin's playbook and picking Roy.
Defense
Another crapshoot. Obviously someone is going to have to shadow Robert Griffin III. So whoever that is makes for a good candidate. But that person is probably a LB. That means Tom Wort (fuck no) and Travis Lewis (becoming the pick du jour a la DeMarco on offense). Shit. Well, I guess I'll go with Jamelle Fleming. Demontre Hurst never gets opportunities and Griffin III will throw to someone so it's Fleming by default.
The Score
Well, let's see if the Defense can defend the middle of the field. Let's see if they can keep Griffin III from running roughshod all day long. Let's see if the offense can keep from stepping on their own dicks. Of course I'm hopeful. But then of course I'm delusional.
OU 35 Baylor 21
I failed to write a column leading up to this Texas Tech game. If you co-write this blog you already know this. If you don't, then I'm just taking up 0's and 1's on the "Interwebs" and wasting my e-breath.
Had I written an OU-Tech pregame it would have said something about how Landry Jones (no nicknames; Solidarity) was certain to throw for 400+ yards and who knows how many touchdowns. Well, he had 5. Big fucking deal. I would have said DeMarco would be steady as a rock and how the defense would get some sacks and get some turnovers. Well, they did. Of course they did. It's a fucking joke how this team is all-world at home and first class pant-shitters on the road. I couldn't even enjoy this game because every time something positive happened I couldn't help but say to myself (or, because I may or may not have been inebriated, to every one in my purview), "OF COURSE THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE WE ARE AT HOME, NOT ON THE FUCKING ROAD!"
It's so easy to predict it's sickening. The Sooners can beat anyone by two touchdowns at home. I'd love to make it a challenge and look forward to the road games coming up (Baylor, OSU) but it's not so much an anticipatory adventure as much as a fucking crapshoot.
Oh well, on to bigger and better things.
Baylor should be as close to a home game on the road as Texas is at the Cotton Bowl. I mean, all bets are off if the Sooners don't show up for this one. But Robert Griffin III is quite capable and to call us shaky on the road is like calling Tony Parker foolish for cheating on Eva Longoria.
But who gives a shit because you know why? I'm going to New York City to watch this one with my buddy and fellow co-blogger Navin. I could not be more pumped. I COULD NOT BE MORE PUMPED!
We'll be enjoying some adult beverages at a hole-in-the-wall, Sooner-themed bar in Manhattan where we'll, together, get to witness an OU road-game bed-wetting. Innocent bystanders might not be ready for the scene, even New Yorkers.
I'd like to say we'll have the wherewithall and inclination to do something maxo-zune-dweebie like co-blog or live blog the game and our experiences. But we are not assholes so unless something really strange happens (probably won't because we'll be so sober) don't count on it.
Quick picks before I hit the road.
Offense
It can only be one of four players. DeMarco, Ryan Broyles, Kenny Fuckin Shitbag Stills or Roy Finch. I feel like I pick DeMarco every week so he's out. Ryan Broyles only sets records at home because Landry gets confused when he isn't wearing a red jersey. So he's out. Ditto Kenny Fucking Shitbag. Roy Finch might not get on the field. Coaches Stoops and Wilson will explain it away like the Baylor scheme wasn't right for him or something nonsensical. Nonetheless, I'm stealing a page out of Navin's playbook and picking Roy.
Defense
Another crapshoot. Obviously someone is going to have to shadow Robert Griffin III. So whoever that is makes for a good candidate. But that person is probably a LB. That means Tom Wort (fuck no) and Travis Lewis (becoming the pick du jour a la DeMarco on offense). Shit. Well, I guess I'll go with Jamelle Fleming. Demontre Hurst never gets opportunities and Griffin III will throw to someone so it's Fleming by default.
The Score
Well, let's see if the Defense can defend the middle of the field. Let's see if they can keep Griffin III from running roughshod all day long. Let's see if the offense can keep from stepping on their own dicks. Of course I'm hopeful. But then of course I'm delusional.
OU 35 Baylor 21
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Tech
In light of last weeks game, I'm pretty discouraged in this one. Mitch wrote an excellent piece giving a good look into some questions that have to be asked by Sooner nation. The two of us have discussed at length the struggles of OU in big games over the last several years. Hell, this wasn't even a "big" game last week in the sense that no one really expected A&M to be terribly competitive, let alone kick our ass.
It used to really piss me off that the national media gave us no respect when being discussed among the national title contenders. I hated that we were always dubbed as lucky, or a tier below the big SEC teams. Now, I just tend to nod my head and agree. Why would I continue to let it bother me? We haven't really won many (any?) games the last five years against teams that were equally talented or better than us. When talent is taken out of the equation, that leaves coaching to blame.
For a time in the last few years it looked as if we were unmotivated, that our players looked as if they felt that just by showing up to the stadium and playing they would win the game. Someone either gave them that idea, or failed to dispel that myth. Now, we just look inept. Predictable play calling (if I'm sitting on my sofa guessing the correct play we are about to run more than I'm not, I'm pretty sure a professional coach is getting quite a few more of those right than I am), players out of position, poor tackling, and repeatedly failing to defend or execute something that has been working all night (read: cannot adjust) are the consistencies in our game that make me want to, first: scream and carry on, and second: give up.
It's not even a pattern any more, it's the epitome of our football team. Every. Single. Year. Sure, we will out-gun people to 8 or 9, maybe 10 wins every year, but without something changing we won't win championships, and we will fail to underperform under the brightest lights. The times when Joe CasualFan is watching, and that's where reputations are made. We are like the NCAA basketball team that bombs away from 3 point land, runs the floor and beats people 110-99. Sure, they will often get to 20-24 wins, make the tourney and even make a run perhaps. But, when the shots don't fall or even if they do and they face a balanced team that plays solid defense they lose.
So I ask, are we content to continue to win these 8,9,10 games each season, maybe some conference championships and then get hammered by a legit team, AT THE MOST? Then sprinkle in some Missouri and A&M games in between those "good" seasons and be disappointed? Looking back to the 90s, it's easy to say yes. But I say that the tradition of this football program demands more. Yes, I like to be in the discussion annually, but I want to be the powerhouse again. I want to be the team that does more with less, or at the very least fulfills potential (it could be argued that the 2000 championship team was the least talented of the Stoops era). Nothing in sports is more frustrating and anger-provoking than underachieving. And underachieving is directly on the shoulders of the coaching staff. Period.
Oh yeah, Tech.
Offense
I'll be honest, I don't much like Landry Jones (that's right, I can't even enjoy a nickname anymore with this guy) anymore. I'm already hoping the Blake Bell era starts now. However, as I alluded to last week Dr. Jekyll is likely to show up at home. Also, hopefully Kevin Wilson remembers to look at his playbook this week rather than staring at his "Up The Gut" tattoo on his left forearm. With that in mind, I'm sure that Jones will be a world beater today and pass like he's the second coming of Warren Moon in the Run-And-Shoot (old school). So, I'm going with Ryan Broyles. I refuse to honor Landry (damn straight it's an honor), and somebody has to catch the ball as well. Broyles in this one.
Defense
This is even harder, but I'm looking to the future again today and I think that Tony Jefferson (is it too early to dub him MF?) does some big things today. I like him for a pick and plenty of passes defended.
I think OU wins this one, it's a home game after all, and then I think our season really goes down the toilet with road games (against decent teams no less) the next two weeks. The plus, Mitch and I will be watching it together. A prospect that has me more than a little excited. Final score this week, 35-21.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.
It used to really piss me off that the national media gave us no respect when being discussed among the national title contenders. I hated that we were always dubbed as lucky, or a tier below the big SEC teams. Now, I just tend to nod my head and agree. Why would I continue to let it bother me? We haven't really won many (any?) games the last five years against teams that were equally talented or better than us. When talent is taken out of the equation, that leaves coaching to blame.
For a time in the last few years it looked as if we were unmotivated, that our players looked as if they felt that just by showing up to the stadium and playing they would win the game. Someone either gave them that idea, or failed to dispel that myth. Now, we just look inept. Predictable play calling (if I'm sitting on my sofa guessing the correct play we are about to run more than I'm not, I'm pretty sure a professional coach is getting quite a few more of those right than I am), players out of position, poor tackling, and repeatedly failing to defend or execute something that has been working all night (read: cannot adjust) are the consistencies in our game that make me want to, first: scream and carry on, and second: give up.
It's not even a pattern any more, it's the epitome of our football team. Every. Single. Year. Sure, we will out-gun people to 8 or 9, maybe 10 wins every year, but without something changing we won't win championships, and we will fail to underperform under the brightest lights. The times when Joe CasualFan is watching, and that's where reputations are made. We are like the NCAA basketball team that bombs away from 3 point land, runs the floor and beats people 110-99. Sure, they will often get to 20-24 wins, make the tourney and even make a run perhaps. But, when the shots don't fall or even if they do and they face a balanced team that plays solid defense they lose.
So I ask, are we content to continue to win these 8,9,10 games each season, maybe some conference championships and then get hammered by a legit team, AT THE MOST? Then sprinkle in some Missouri and A&M games in between those "good" seasons and be disappointed? Looking back to the 90s, it's easy to say yes. But I say that the tradition of this football program demands more. Yes, I like to be in the discussion annually, but I want to be the powerhouse again. I want to be the team that does more with less, or at the very least fulfills potential (it could be argued that the 2000 championship team was the least talented of the Stoops era). Nothing in sports is more frustrating and anger-provoking than underachieving. And underachieving is directly on the shoulders of the coaching staff. Period.
Oh yeah, Tech.
Offense
I'll be honest, I don't much like Landry Jones (that's right, I can't even enjoy a nickname anymore with this guy) anymore. I'm already hoping the Blake Bell era starts now. However, as I alluded to last week Dr. Jekyll is likely to show up at home. Also, hopefully Kevin Wilson remembers to look at his playbook this week rather than staring at his "Up The Gut" tattoo on his left forearm. With that in mind, I'm sure that Jones will be a world beater today and pass like he's the second coming of Warren Moon in the Run-And-Shoot (old school). So, I'm going with Ryan Broyles. I refuse to honor Landry (damn straight it's an honor), and somebody has to catch the ball as well. Broyles in this one.
Defense
This is even harder, but I'm looking to the future again today and I think that Tony Jefferson (is it too early to dub him MF?) does some big things today. I like him for a pick and plenty of passes defended.
I think OU wins this one, it's a home game after all, and then I think our season really goes down the toilet with road games (against decent teams no less) the next two weeks. The plus, Mitch and I will be watching it together. A prospect that has me more than a little excited. Final score this week, 35-21.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Boob, You've Got Some 'Splainin To Do
There's a wispy tuft of smoke coming out of the hole that was once the site of the Oklahoma Sooners 2010 football season. The title hopes, the expectations, the dreams of number eight are all obliterated. Evaporated also, if it wasn't already, is the Legend of Big Game Bob.
I'm just trying to pick up the pieces from this one. Is it all Bob's fault? Possibly not, probably so. All roads lead back to him. He's ultimately responsible for allowing Kevin Wilson to call no less than 12 plays inside the 5 yard line, all runs up the gut, without scoring a touchdown. I have no idea if stats are kept on situations such as, "timeouts called on special teams situations" but the Sooners surely lead the nation.
Of course there are dropped INT's. The right play being called with a player being just out of position (this happens a lot according to Bobby) or just poor execution. The fake field goal was a beautiful pass and an inexcusable drop.
But the clock management (or lack thereof), the play calling, the shuffling of four scholarship kickers (four!), the timeouts spent on punts, the terrible play on the road or in bowl games (outside of the Big 12 Championship which proves the point). The evidence is starting to pile up.
Our buddy Travis raises an interesting point. You know how alcoholics or anyone else facing addiction can never get help until they take ownership of the problem? Well, this team has a problem. And until the coaching staff, most notably Coach Stoops, takes ownership of the problem (real ownership, not coach-speak) this is going to get worse and worse. An impeccable home record has long placated Sooner Nation and made it easy to ignore the fact that the Sooners are barely over .500 on the road since 2006. OU will pistol-whip Texas Tech next week and all could be forgiven.
The bottom line is that this OU-A&M game was the worst combination of clock management and play calling at the end of a ball game that I have seen in the Stoops era. The mistakes in the fourth quarter and the slow starts on the road are becoming epidemic. If not an epidemic, at least the trademark of this football team.
This coaching staff needs to really take a look at itself. Bob might need to make some tough decisions. There are a lot of things going on that point towards coaching.
That said, Lonnie is a Grade-A pant-shitter on the road. This is a major problem. The offensive line is terrible and he does them no favors by running out of the pocket and into the pass rush. Also, why the hell does a progression not exist? Is it because the O-Line can't protect, Lonnie is too dumb to do it, or there is only 1 eligible receiver per play? I need to know dammit. Why is the defense god-fucking-awful on 3rd down? Why is a collection of clearly talented players, who are intelligent (they really don't do scratch-your-head dumb things on defense), always leaving the middle of the field wide open?
I wish there was a bright spot to this game. There wasn't. That was a terrible loss in all phases. 27 first downs, 3 failed fourth and goals. There were probably no less than 20 plays run in the red zone with no points scored. Yet another kickoff return given up for touchdown (keep in mind Stoops coaches special teams). There was a period in the 3rd where the Sooners scored 17 unanswered and the momentum shifted, players had some swagger and guys were making plays. The missed fake killed it. But for a brief moment in time, the "12th" man were creaming their collective shorts.
Credit A&M for making plays and for a spirited defensive effort (although it's bullshit the same guy can go down injured 5 times and basically give a tired Aggie defense a rest). But the Sooners are their own worst nightmare. The coaches were a nightmare in this game. Until they recognize this get used to it. OU will win at home, have a .500 shot on the road. They'll backdoor their way into the Big 12 Championship, probably do well and complete barf on themselves if the bowl game is played after January 1st.
I'm just trying to pick up the pieces from this one. Is it all Bob's fault? Possibly not, probably so. All roads lead back to him. He's ultimately responsible for allowing Kevin Wilson to call no less than 12 plays inside the 5 yard line, all runs up the gut, without scoring a touchdown. I have no idea if stats are kept on situations such as, "timeouts called on special teams situations" but the Sooners surely lead the nation.
Of course there are dropped INT's. The right play being called with a player being just out of position (this happens a lot according to Bobby) or just poor execution. The fake field goal was a beautiful pass and an inexcusable drop.
But the clock management (or lack thereof), the play calling, the shuffling of four scholarship kickers (four!), the timeouts spent on punts, the terrible play on the road or in bowl games (outside of the Big 12 Championship which proves the point). The evidence is starting to pile up.
Our buddy Travis raises an interesting point. You know how alcoholics or anyone else facing addiction can never get help until they take ownership of the problem? Well, this team has a problem. And until the coaching staff, most notably Coach Stoops, takes ownership of the problem (real ownership, not coach-speak) this is going to get worse and worse. An impeccable home record has long placated Sooner Nation and made it easy to ignore the fact that the Sooners are barely over .500 on the road since 2006. OU will pistol-whip Texas Tech next week and all could be forgiven.
The bottom line is that this OU-A&M game was the worst combination of clock management and play calling at the end of a ball game that I have seen in the Stoops era. The mistakes in the fourth quarter and the slow starts on the road are becoming epidemic. If not an epidemic, at least the trademark of this football team.
This coaching staff needs to really take a look at itself. Bob might need to make some tough decisions. There are a lot of things going on that point towards coaching.
That said, Lonnie is a Grade-A pant-shitter on the road. This is a major problem. The offensive line is terrible and he does them no favors by running out of the pocket and into the pass rush. Also, why the hell does a progression not exist? Is it because the O-Line can't protect, Lonnie is too dumb to do it, or there is only 1 eligible receiver per play? I need to know dammit. Why is the defense god-fucking-awful on 3rd down? Why is a collection of clearly talented players, who are intelligent (they really don't do scratch-your-head dumb things on defense), always leaving the middle of the field wide open?
I wish there was a bright spot to this game. There wasn't. That was a terrible loss in all phases. 27 first downs, 3 failed fourth and goals. There were probably no less than 20 plays run in the red zone with no points scored. Yet another kickoff return given up for touchdown (keep in mind Stoops coaches special teams). There was a period in the 3rd where the Sooners scored 17 unanswered and the momentum shifted, players had some swagger and guys were making plays. The missed fake killed it. But for a brief moment in time, the "12th" man were creaming their collective shorts.
Credit A&M for making plays and for a spirited defensive effort (although it's bullshit the same guy can go down injured 5 times and basically give a tired Aggie defense a rest). But the Sooners are their own worst nightmare. The coaches were a nightmare in this game. Until they recognize this get used to it. OU will win at home, have a .500 shot on the road. They'll backdoor their way into the Big 12 Championship, probably do well and complete barf on themselves if the bowl game is played after January 1st.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
A&M
Mitch, excellent work as always. I agree that our prospects of winning on the road have never been as shaky as this season (possibly last season I guess). I of course blame Lonnie, but Mitch is probably more accurate in laying most of the blame on the defense. I however, stand by assertion that Lonnie does in fact need to shoulder a fair percentage of the blame for our road woes. Never have the Sooners, at least in the Stoops era, had a more predictably Jekyll and Hyde QB. Hybl is most closest comparison but the difference there was he was just as likely to pee all over the center's ass at home as he was on the road and vice versa. Lonnie can almost assuredly get on the SI Heisman watch list every week after a home game and back right off of it following a road game. Let's hope Mr. Hyde doesn't fully appear today and we get more Jekyll than we're used to seeing out of the lad on the road.
I too am quite nervous about this game. Then again, I'm nervous before every game but our penchant for sitting on the visitors sideline and feverishly tugging our semi-firm chubbies to no avail has me worried we will similarly embarrass ourselves today. This certainly isn't the trap game that Missouri was but then again, A&M has beaten us more than once since the Eisenhower administration and as such will be far less likely piss all over themselves if they beat us.
I think we do enough today, I always think we will do enough to win. I agree with Mitch that we are poised for a patented run of good defense to be capped with a bowl (get it? like a bowl game? zing!) of diarrhea (fun word to type by the way, try it, diarrhea). A&M is rejuvenated and their switch at QB seems to have paid dividends early. Although it might be addition by subtraction. In any event, our D will need to play much better than we have been on the road to win today. On to the picks and small item of house keeping.
I too am quite nervous about this game. Then again, I'm nervous before every game but our penchant for sitting on the visitors sideline and feverishly tugging our semi-firm chubbies to no avail has me worried we will similarly embarrass ourselves today. This certainly isn't the trap game that Missouri was but then again, A&M has beaten us more than once since the Eisenhower administration and as such will be far less likely piss all over themselves if they beat us.
I think we do enough today, I always think we will do enough to win. I agree with Mitch that we are poised for a patented run of good defense to be capped with a bowl (get it? like a bowl game? zing!) of diarrhea (fun word to type by the way, try it, diarrhea). A&M is rejuvenated and their switch at QB seems to have paid dividends early. Although it might be addition by subtraction. In any event, our D will need to play much better than we have been on the road to win today. On to the picks and small item of house keeping.
Semi-Related Side Note
I feel obligated to explain the moniker fuckin shitbag for Kenny Stills. Details are hazy but the story I heard was that in pregaming the Iowa State via telephone (as we do weekly) I suggested that Kenny Stills have a nickname of fuckin shitbag. Many laughs were had and that sealed it. I had consumed somewhere between 1 and 26 beers and as a result remember 0% of this conversation. However, upon hearing the retelling I found it quite hilarious so it's likely that I did the same during its conception. However, rest assured that we hold Stills in the highest regard and have "nothin but love" for him, as the kids say. It is the most endearing use of fuckin shitbag imaginable. In all likelyhood this paragraph was written in vain as it is predicated on the assumption that someone apart from the two of us reads this waste of bandwidth.
Offense
I cannot, out of respect to myself, pick Lonnie here. He has been mediocre at his peak on the road, and the offensive equivalent of a gas-rag at his lowest. This makes it difficult to pick Broyles also, as he is notably handicapped by his dependance on Lonnie to get the ball. As a result I'm going with someone from the backfield, and while I do agree that I think DeMarco will be a manchild back there today, I'm going with Roy Finch. I sure love to watch him play, he has honestly made me say wow on more than one occasion. His open field running speaks for itself, but his ability to break tackles inside is something to behold and quite unexpected out of someone of his stature.
Defense
Mitch's post now makes two straight weeks that one of us has reluctantly gone with our MF pick as DPG (Defensive Player of the Game, not Disrespectful Pounding of the Gash). Also, to be clear, I didn't mean to imply there is better pick on defense for MF just that he isn't as spectacular as our picks normally are (e.g. Roy Motherfuckin Williams, Tommie Motherfuckin Harris, Gerald Motherfuckin McCoy etc.). I honestly don't have a feeling on this one, I'd love for Mitch to be right. I think I'm going with Jeremy Beal for the hell of it. A couple of sacks would be nice, particularly if we don't have to bring 12 men to do it.
I think we put up more points than 28, I'll say 38, but I also think we give up more than 14. I'll say 24. We take it, on the road no less, 38-24.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner
OU vs. A&M
Last Saturday the Sooners, predictably and thankfully, took care of bidness. At home (as usual) Lonnie looked all-world and the defense looked like it ate babies for breakfast. Of course they did. It was a home game.
Well today the big question is, "Can the Sooners put together a complete game on the road or will they look like assholes again?" On paper, this one presents a tremendous opportunity to do the former. A&M sucks but they are a more notable name than, say, Texas Tech, Baylor, K-State et al. A&M of course is the home of the 12th man even though that means less than ever. So, while A&M sucks, their cache' would make a victory look bigger than it is.
The worry is that A&M put in some guy named Tannehill last week, replacing the worst QB in the Big 12, Jerrod Johnson, and the Aggie offense showed signs of life. Of course the revived offense was playing a beleaguered Tech defense but still. Do they have newfound confidence? Will they play hard for Mike Sherman, the worst coaching hire in the last 5 years of the Big 12?
I'm scared shitless of early A&M offensive success combined with "Road Shaky" Lonnie. This is the worst case scenario. The best case scenario is seeing the Four-Headed Monster of DeMarco (now on a first name basis with Sooner Nation), Ryan Broyles, Kenny "Fuckin Shitbag" Stills and Roy Finch wreak havoc whilst the Sooner defense beats up on an unimaginative and stagnant Aggie offense.
I would love to favor the latter option and be able to say with no reservations that the Sooners will beat that ass today but I can't. The Sooners have shown that they are nothing less than shaky and completely untrustworthy away from Owen Field. So it goes.
On with the picks.
Offense
DeMarco is the leader of this team. He's the face of the franchise, the captain, Everybody's All American, etc. This Sooner team needs a statement win on the road, not for the national rankings so much as for their own psyche. DeMarco is the man who can put the team on his shoulders and deliver the goods. I can't even consider anyone else here.
Defense
Texas is the only game I've felt confident in my pick. Every other week it's like throwing darts. Navin nailed it last week when he said the Quinton M.F. Carter pick might be the worst of the M.F. era. But who should it have been? Nobody stands out on a weekly basis. We might need to come to grips with the fact that this Sooners defense could be the worst of the Bobby Stoops era. I need to go back and look to see when I predicted I would start calling for Brent Venables job. It happens every year about this time. Be on the lookout for inspired performances by the D from now through the Big 12 Championship. Then prepare yourself for the inevitable pant-shitting on national television that will define what ever bowl the Sooners land in. All that said I guess I'll pick Quinton M.F. Carter here. I mean, I haven't watched much tape of A&M but they seem to be more run-heavy than any other team in the conference. That means Q can help in the box and lay the lumber. Possibly. Hell I don't know. Quinton M.F. Carter is my defensive player of the game dammit.
The Score
I'm going to say the Sooners struggle to score points but they do halfway decent and A&M hits on some big plays early. I of course like the Sooners.
OU 28, A&M 14
Well today the big question is, "Can the Sooners put together a complete game on the road or will they look like assholes again?" On paper, this one presents a tremendous opportunity to do the former. A&M sucks but they are a more notable name than, say, Texas Tech, Baylor, K-State et al. A&M of course is the home of the 12th man even though that means less than ever. So, while A&M sucks, their cache' would make a victory look bigger than it is.
The worry is that A&M put in some guy named Tannehill last week, replacing the worst QB in the Big 12, Jerrod Johnson, and the Aggie offense showed signs of life. Of course the revived offense was playing a beleaguered Tech defense but still. Do they have newfound confidence? Will they play hard for Mike Sherman, the worst coaching hire in the last 5 years of the Big 12?
I'm scared shitless of early A&M offensive success combined with "Road Shaky" Lonnie. This is the worst case scenario. The best case scenario is seeing the Four-Headed Monster of DeMarco (now on a first name basis with Sooner Nation), Ryan Broyles, Kenny "Fuckin Shitbag" Stills and Roy Finch wreak havoc whilst the Sooner defense beats up on an unimaginative and stagnant Aggie offense.
I would love to favor the latter option and be able to say with no reservations that the Sooners will beat that ass today but I can't. The Sooners have shown that they are nothing less than shaky and completely untrustworthy away from Owen Field. So it goes.
On with the picks.
Offense
DeMarco is the leader of this team. He's the face of the franchise, the captain, Everybody's All American, etc. This Sooner team needs a statement win on the road, not for the national rankings so much as for their own psyche. DeMarco is the man who can put the team on his shoulders and deliver the goods. I can't even consider anyone else here.
Defense
Texas is the only game I've felt confident in my pick. Every other week it's like throwing darts. Navin nailed it last week when he said the Quinton M.F. Carter pick might be the worst of the M.F. era. But who should it have been? Nobody stands out on a weekly basis. We might need to come to grips with the fact that this Sooners defense could be the worst of the Bobby Stoops era. I need to go back and look to see when I predicted I would start calling for Brent Venables job. It happens every year about this time. Be on the lookout for inspired performances by the D from now through the Big 12 Championship. Then prepare yourself for the inevitable pant-shitting on national television that will define what ever bowl the Sooners land in. All that said I guess I'll pick Quinton M.F. Carter here. I mean, I haven't watched much tape of A&M but they seem to be more run-heavy than any other team in the conference. That means Q can help in the box and lay the lumber. Possibly. Hell I don't know. Quinton M.F. Carter is my defensive player of the game dammit.
The Score
I'm going to say the Sooners struggle to score points but they do halfway decent and A&M hits on some big plays early. I of course like the Sooners.
OU 28, A&M 14
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