Oklahoma Sooners versus Texas Tech Red Raiders

Good evening, Sooner fans. I am begging your forgiveness for the tardiness and brevity of this puff piece. The Oklahoma bureau of Sooner Steamroller has been without power since Tuesday on account of an apocalyptic ice storm. 2020 is relentless in its commitment to being the worst. 

Alas we press on.

OFFENSE

Spencer Rattler did a fine job of game management last week and he found his playmaker in Marvin Mims, Jr. This week I'd like to see Rattler continue to build and a key to his development is Austin Stogner. He had a nice game against Texas but last week dropped at least three balls that were heavily defended. His mission in life is to catch balls in traffic that are heavily defended. Stogner is my OPOG today.

DEFENSE

These guys are almost decent. I was but much pleased to see intensity and speed for the entire game. The Red Raiders offer another great opportunity to take a step forward. A night road game against a shit team is a recipe for heady vibes and PlayStation type numbers.

I am not picking a DPOG today. However, there are a couple of candidates who, if they don't watch themselves, could find themselves getting called out in a great way on this platform.

As an aside, it is patently ridiculous that country music legend, PRCA bronco rider and Sooner defensive end Ronnie Perkins is still not eligible to play as a result of a positive marijuana test last year. What in the actual shit. Can someone pull the stick out of the NCAA's asshole, please? This defense improves dramatically with him on the field.

SCORE

The Sooners cruise on the road and look and feel good doing it. I like the Sooners big time today. 

Sooners 49 Red Raider 17

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Texas Tech

 Signing in to put up a piece of trash on halloween as the Sooners prepare to play Texas Tech tonight. I would say that last week OU put together their most complete game of the season. They poured it on early, got a lead and managed to not piss it away late. It was enjoyable football. I read today that Rambo and Turner-Yell will be out due to Covid. The former I think we can hide fairly well, but losing anyone resembling a competent defender could be devastating to an already horrendous unit. Nevertheless, play they will and hopefully they can cobble together a win.

Offense

Rattler has looked steadily better since his benching earlier this year. He's more content to "take what they give him" instead of trying to hit a home run every play. In my (meaningless and woefully uninformed) opinion, he could tuck it and run a little earlier but he's still doing a nice job. I will go with him today to have a nice night under the primetime lights. Which essentially means he'll throw 4 picks.

Defense

Though the D definitely looked better last week, it's important to note that better is a relative term and certainly not a synonym of good and/or competent. Still not picking anyone here.

Score

I know nothing of Texas Tech. I'm sure they are talented in spots and not-so-much-so in others. In other words, typical Tech. I imagine the Sooner D will regress somewhat from passable last week as consistent improvement isn't really their "thing". I'll guess OU wins a close one that shouldn't be close at all. Sooners take 38-33.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

TCU

The Sooners, in spite of themselves, managed to beat texas two weeks ago in an epic Red River for the ages. Even though the Sooners escaped in over time, it should have never even gotten past regulation. Spencer Rattler looked like garbage in the first half, even getting benched for an even worse Tanner Mordecai. Thankfully, when Rattler came back he looked a little more willing to take what the defense was giving and not sitting in the pocket for four hours. Hopefully that carries over for the rest of the season, because the defense is absolute shit. On the plus side, we don't have to ever see Sam Ehlinger again or hear any more about how great he is. TCU is on the slate today and it wouldn't surprise me if OU won or lost by 30. I really have no idea what to expect. On to the picks...

Offense

I pulled off one of my patented moves against texas by selecting a player that did not suit up for the game. I can't remember the last season where I didn't do that at least once. Today I'm hoping to not keep that streak going, but am unwilling to do a brief google search to ensure I don't. I just can't pick Rattler, I hope he has a great game of course, but his turnovers are horrendous and all too frequent. And, while I know picking WR is somewhat predicated on Rattler playing well, I'm still going with Mims on the outside today. He's looking like he's ready to break out, and hopefully today is the day.

Defense

I still can't pick anything here. It's too awful. Alex Grinch should be publicly horse whipped for continuing to play Pat Fields. The Sooners could suit up a scarecrow at Safety and theoretically improve, simply based on the fact that the scarecrow wouldn't commit PI on every 3rd and forever. 

Score

As I said before, this could really go any number of ways and I wouldn't be shocked. But I'm going be optimistic that with two weeks to prepare, the Sooners will be ready. I like the Sooners to win it today 31-27.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Oklahoma Sooners versus Texas Christian

 Good morning, Sooner fans. Would you agree that it's always a better feeling coming off a win against Texas? The Sooners won a classic by coming up big on defense in overtime but it shouldn't have had to come to that. Predictably and regrettably, that same Sooner D allowed Sam Ehlinger to run roughshod in the final minutes to tie the game up. Alas, a win is a win and it represents a step forward for the D. 

Today it's TCU and a perfect trap game for the Sooners. Gary Patterson is a crafty sumbitch and will no doubt have gleaned some key data points from the Sooners game tape. The key for the Sooners is, like always, can they bring the same mentality and effort level they had against Texas into Fort Worth today? History says it's doubtful.

OFFENSE

Spencer Rattler got benched in the first half which may have knocked him off a few Heisman ballots. More important, it exposed what seems to be his biggest weakness which is his trying to do too much. His arm is incredible and clearly people have told him as much. He believes that it's not only okay to throw back across his body into double coverage but that, unlike anyone else in the history of high level football, that it will work. Does he watch other football games? He needs to chill out and I think that's essentially what Lincoln Riley told him. To his credit, he came back out in the second half and played really well and made some nice throws when he had to. 

Importantly, he found his safety blanket in Austin Stogner. The next step is to find that wide receiver who makes things happen one on one or in space. That person is Marvin Mims. The O-line needs to provide enough push that the Sooners average 4.5 yards per carry. If they can do that it's ballgame.

Today I look for a ball control game with easy throws and reads from Rattler to continue to build up his game management skills. I'll pick him for my OPOG.

DEFENSE

Even if his defense has not turned it around as quickly as anyone would like, Alex Grinch is a breath of fresh air from an honesty perspective. His transparency with the media offers actual insight. For instance, he admitted that, like everyone, he had no idea what to expect with the pandemic and in hindsight believes he may have fucked his planning up tremendously. He said he tried to get young guys college ready and, before he knew it, they had to be game ready. Hence, the initial lack of fresh faces on the field, particularly in the secondary. Now some of those young guys are finding the field and hopefully they will be able to stay there. Also, it is my most sincere hope that there is someone coming up behind Patrick Fields who is just brutally awful this year. He sticks out in a bad way on an average at best defense. Grinch jokingly warned his team that if the play more consistently like they did against Texas they may find themselves being accused of being decent.

Today I fear the Sooners will not have the same mentality as they brought to the table last week. If they do bring it that's a win on a number of levels but none more important than it may signify Grinch's attitude shift is starting to gain traction. 

I also worry that Gary Patterson has some bullshit up his sleeve and we as fans are to be subjected to long sustained drives with back breaking third down conversions. Maybe I just have PTSD from watching it week in and week out for the last 12 years it feels like. 

In any case, I'm still not ready to pick a DPOG.

THE SCORE

I am optimistic that Spencer Rattler is going to take a step forward after having been benched and that the Sooner D is unwilling to take two steps back in their quest to be decent. I think if the Sooners can average 4.5 yards per rush it's ball game. 

Sooners 38 TCU 24

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Oklahoma Sooners versus Texas dba the Dr. Pepper AT&T Red River Shootout

The two programs solely responsible for the financial viability and national reputation of the Big 12 conference find themselves squaring off today in a race for the bottom of the Big 12. The Sooners (1-2, 0-2 Big 12) are coming off back to back disastrous losses to Kansas State and Iowa State and are staring into the void and struggling to find their purpose in a season that is on the precipice of becoming truly meaningless. 

The Longhorns (2-1, 1-1 Big 12), as per usual, are shithead assholes. Let's get that out of the way. Predictably, they were overrated to start the season and rode a victory over the Miners of UTEP to a top 10 ranking before throwing it all away against TCU last week. They aren't out of the top 25, though, because we live in a world where we're a month into the "season" and Ohio State hasn't played a game and is ranked number one.

So today is a chance for both teams to try and course correct and provide some glimmer of interest for the remaining campaign. It could actually be a pretty entertaining game from that perspective even if the national implication is pretty much zilch.

OFFENSE

The Sooners best defense today needs to be the offense. Sooner Nation has become accustomed to the high scoring, quick strike Lincoln Riley offenses and I am certainly not implying the Sooners should purposely take this off the table. However, the defense sucks so horrifically that the Sooners need to find ways to extend drives and hang onto the ball. Some of Lincoln Riley's best work is when he takes eight minutes off the clock and sucks the soul out of opposing defenses. Not only would this help the Sooners today but it could be big for the development of Spencer Rattler. 

That said, I would love to see a wide receiver break out in this one. It would be awesome if that wideout was Charleston Rambo but I think Marcus Mims is the better candidate. The Sooners need to find ways to get him quick catches, in space, and let him pick up yards in chunks. He's my OPOG.

DEFENSE

Prepare yourself now for pain and frustration. I see Sam Ehlinger in my fever dreams carrying the pile for first downs early and often. 2nd and 4? He'll run for 6. 3rd and two? He'll get three. Much like Coronavirus, you can wish it away all you like but it's coming and the Sooner D is playing like a person wearing a mask like a chinstrap. 

Forget one on one tackles, the Sooners need to, at a minimum, slow down the ball carrier at the point of contact. I'm talking baby steps to mediocrity here. Just slow them down and let the cavalry arrive. To add to the complexity, the Sooners need to be very aware of play action and not be too aggressive attacking the line or we'll be seeing the same plan I just laid out for Marcus Mims being deployed against the Sooners.

Still no DPOG. 

THE SCORE

Hey everybody I'm expecting the worst and hoping for the best here. Can the Sooners win? Of course they can because Texas is second to none in undershooting expectations and are the most perennially overrated team in the history of college football. But the Sooners have proven on the field this season that they are more than capable of pooping down their pants legs without having a spare pair of undies in the locker room. 

The Sooners need some one, or group of someones, on both sides of the ball, to step up and take control. It can't be the coaches or the gameplan or the environment of a rivalry game or any other magical thinking. The guys on the field need to take a step forward today. There's no better game and no better opponent to find yourself than the Longhorns and the Cotton Bowl.

::Puts on crimson-colored glasses:: I'm going to say Sooners 28, Longhorns 24

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

texas

 I’m so disgusted after last week that I’m really going through the motions more than normal this week. If it wasn’t texas I’m not sure I would have even had the energy. But, I think back to my first year at OU when the Sooners won two games the entire season, OSU and texas. It wasn’t a successful season by any stretch but it made an awful season slightly better. I don’t think OU is that level by any stretch but they are bad. The defense continues to hit new lows and the offense, while solid, isn’t bailing them out this year. It’s disappointing to say the least, but here’s hoping they at least best OSU and texas. 

Offense

Rattler has not been the juggernaut we’d all assumed he would be. However the bar was almost unattainably high for a guy who’d never played a meaningful collegiate snap. So, while I think he’ll put up good numbers, I’m not going with him today. I’ll take McGowan. If OU has any hope of winning, they’ll lean on the run game to do it. 

Defense

See last week’s non-pick. What a joke. 

Score

For the first time in several years, texas has a marked advantage at the QB position. That worries me, particularly with how terrible the defense has been. But, I will go against my better judgement and hope for a James Allen-esque miracle. Sooners win it 31-30. 

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

Oklahoma Sooners versus Iowa State

Quick post today, my friends, because, like the Sooners against K-State, I too can bail on quality work before the game or season is over.

Why the hell is there a culture of ineptitude on defense? How can you roll over both player and coach personnel and still continue to have a culture that allows big plays at bad times and is always awful at tackling in space?

I'll give a pass to the offense because Spencer Rattler was making his second career meaningful start and is not accustomed to playing with his back against the wall. For him, it was a good learning experience. You look at the last three QB's and all were seasoned before they stepped foot on campus. But this defense, my God. They had an opportunity to take a step forward, to bail out the offense and to secure a game at home. Instead, they shit down their trouser leg and take three steps back. Maddening.

OFFENSE

Today the Sooners need to demonstrate a killer instinct and cannot under any circumstance take their foot off the gas. Spencer Rattler has to take a step forward and learn from last week's interceptions. He can't cram the ball into double coverage. There is no need. He doesn't need to play hero ball with his arm. For my OPOG I'm going Austin Stogner. He seems like a security blanket that Rattler can check down to instead of forcing something downfield. 

DEFENSE

Christ Almighty these guys. I guess the bar is so low here that I'd be satisfied if we can not allow a former walk on linebacker cum quarterback to turn in a Heisman worthy performance. Is that too much to ask? I fear it may be.

Look, I have to go to soonersports.com every week just to scroll through the roster to find someone to pick on this side of the ball and I've been doing that shit for about six years. I'm tired of it. I'm not picking a DPOG today and maybe not for a while until some one, any one, can start turning in a consistent enough quality performance such that I can remember their name from television from week to week. The whole defense can be DPOG by not stepping on their own dicks and maybe forcing a turnover. For real this is bullshit.

SCORE

You know Iowa State is going to play hard just like K-State and that they're well coached and that the Sooners have a preternatural knack for playing to the level of their opponent. So of course you should expect this to be closer than it ought to be. I'll say Sooners 35 and Iowa State 34.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

Iowa State

I’m still at a loss for last week’s game. My devotion to OU football has waned as I’ve gotten older. Of course I’m still a huge fan and make efforts to watch all of the games, but I don’t follow it like I did when I was in my 20s. But, games like that still infuriate me in the moment. At this point, you would think I’d be used to it as it’s happened every season for as long as I can remember. Nevertheless it still annoys the bloody hell out of me. On the plus side, now that the seats of the uniforms are fully shit stained, it makes the ensuing games less maddening. 

Offense

It was probably foolhardy to assume Rattler would just step in and win the heisman, but Riley has been a bit of a QB whisperer. But Rattler looked very unsure when up against the ropes in the second half. There is plenty of blame to be laid on the defense and special teams but sustaining even one drive down the stretch would’ve put that one away. I like a bounce back this week from Rattler and I’m going with him for my OPG. 

Defense

These assholes. I’ll go with no one until somebody looks remotely like they understand how to tackle. 

Score

I have no doubt Iowa state will play lights out. They must be tamping down boners right now at the thought of facing the OU D. But optimism gets the best of me and I like the Sooners to eke it out, 38-35. 

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.