WVU Mountaineers

OU avoided a trap game last Thursday in a classic, what-the-hell-happened? game that has bitten the Sooners in the past. A cupcake sandwiched between two good teams, on the road, and on a short week no less, but OU was able to find enough to beat a sorely overmatched ISU team. Now, it's on to Morgantown to take on a tough WVU club that has only lost one. 

This will be a tough road game to be sure, WVU can score, and if you have watched as much as 30 seconds of Sooner football this year, we don't care much for preventing that. I know, I know, They haven't played anybody... (inferior intelligence voice), and they haven't, that's true. I'd argue we haven't either besides Ohio State and maaaaaybe Houston and...so... This looks like it might be Texas Tech 2: The Red Carpet Returns. Let's suffice to say that between the Ruf Neks and that buckskin brawler, they'll need enough ammo to stage an Alamo reenactment. 

Offense

This is the fun part of the picks category. One where there are, you know, viable optionS. I like Mixon. I like Perine. I like Mayfield and of course I like The Secretary. I think all will play very respectable games that in any other context would be gimmes for this "award". But, I'm picking Perine in this one. I think that at some point ball control will play a factor (reader: knowing laugh/pitiful head shake) and that's our guy for hitting you in the mouth and picking up first downs. Give me Samaje!

Defense

Whew, I tried, I really did. But there just isn't anyone. It's a terrible D, and it's not just one or two weak spots or key players. It's a rotating cast of missed assignments, shitty tackling and general buffoonery. No one is exempt. So, I can't do it. I'd mention how badly we'll miss Charles Walker but he hasn't really played all year anyway. Best of luck to him.

Score

As much as people want to say this has national title implications, the chances of that are pretty absurd. It does however have conference title implications. And as sure as Stoops can't beat anyone on the national stage, he can win conference championships. Sooners take this one in another laugher (for the wrong reasons) 55-49.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

West Virginia

Just as we all thought, Big 12 title hopes run through Morgantown this week as the Sooners take on West Virginia. The winner stays in control of their destiny and loser is relegated to a mid-tier bowl, at best.

Moral dilemma. I broached the subject last week but now it's real. The Sooners are overrated. I think we will end the season with three losses. I'm sorry, but as good as the offense is (and it is elite), an 81st ranked defense has no business being in the top 10 nationally, much less the playoffs. It does not compute. Fun aside, while I was looking at defensive team stats; The Sooners are ranked 81st nationally. Five SEC teams are ranked lower. That conference's reputation is staked on two or three teams a year at best.

So, would you rather that third loss come against West Virgina or Oklahoma State? On the plus side the Sooners would be properly rated, play in a second tier bowl and likely dominate someone. There will be no anxiety heading into the bowl game and the Sooners end the season on a high note. I would obviously rather lose to West Virginny on the road than the Cowboys at home.

Or the Sooners win out and someone (likely others- plural) lose and the Sooners backdoor their way into the playoffs. Yay playoffs. Boo probable ass whipping.

If you have any pride and competitive spirit you would want to win out and get in the playoffs, right? This team just has no business being there. I'm torn.

OFFENSE

The Sooners haven't faced a defense this tough (at least statistically) since Ohio State. The Mountaineers haven't faced an offense this potent since Oklahoma State. What gives?

The recent emergence of additional receiving options for Baker Mayfield gives the Sooners a big time edge. Obviously the Secretary Dede Westbrook is playing video game level football right now but eventually a competent defense is going to come along and have a safety help out over the top, right? It's easier said than done if you start having to think about Geno Lewis and/or Nick Basquine and/or Mark Andrews (what's happened to him?) and/or Joe Mixon.

The Sooners are rounding into form at the right time. Receivers are stepping up. The backfield is at full strength. Baker is being Baker. And the O-Line personnel seems settled and looking tough. I just don't see the Mountaineers shutting it down. I lose my boner a little bit when I think about the Mountaineers playing at home, at night, on national TV though.

For my OPOG I'm going Joe Mixon.

DEFENSE

West Virginia does not have the playmakers of years past. Still, they average 30 points a game. Care to guess how many the Sooners Red Carpet averages giving up? Against inferior competition over the last month they have started to look better. Can this newfound confidence hold a better team under its scoring average, on the road, on Saturday night? My butthole is puckered.

I'd like to also point out that any talk about key players coming back and helping out can be put to rest. Charles Walker and Matt Dimon are both done as Sooners. So they aren't walking through that door. We are what we are.

For my DPOG I'll go Jordan Evans. He's playing like a guy who sees his collegiate career winding down and wants to go out on a high note. He's been playing really well.


SCORE

Get ready for a nail biter. The Sooners will be held below their scoring average and West Virginia won't. Playmakers are the difference for the Sooners and the nation will get to behold Baker, Joe, Samje and Dede in all their glory.

Sooners 38, West Virginia 35

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

Baylor Bears

I'm only putting this up 10 minute prior to kickoff because I've not slept in 3 days creating the perfect "piece" and wanted to ensure no detail was overlooked in creating this masterpiece. OU avoided the upset last week in a classic "trap" game, now let's see if they can force at least 1 punt in this track meet against Baylor

Offense

After a week to think about his egregious miscue, I feel that Mixon comes back with a vengeance. I just learned that Perine is back as well which is huge as he is a monster. But today belongs to Mixon with 2 scores and 150+ all purpose yards.

Defense

I'm going with Steven Parker again, mostly because I'm feeling generous. Let's see what happens against a Baylor offense ripe to score 40+.

Score

Speaking of 40+, I think OU wins by virtue of having the home crowd in this one, 49-45. The spread is a ludicrous 17.5 in favor of the Sooners, making me wish I was in Vegas as I'd bet my house against that one.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Baylor

The Sooners take on the Sinners from Baylor today. The luster of this one doesn't match recent years. That bodes well for the Sooners.

In the past, Art Briles would dial up the ol "5 yard out and up your ass until you stop it" routine. It's effectiveness was more due to Baylor's offense being lethal than defensive ineptitude (though at the time it didn't feel that way). This year it will be because the Red Carpet (hat tip) is rolled out.

Today it might be BD Mayfield's turn to embarrass. I know I'd love to see it. It's legitimate to ask how Baylor has a football team at this point anyway.

OFFENSE

I had lunch with Travis Frye, a gentleman and scholar, who tossed out a theory that Mayfield might not play today. Mr. Frye has a side project wherein he diagnoses others drug use, plastic surgery and now, apparently, unreported football injuries. He thinks Mayfield suffered a concussion late last week and couldn't have possibly passed protocol this week.

Of course the public has heard nothing on this but it could certainly be possible. Although I also think it's likely the protocol, if it was protocoled (?), was "passed". Wink Wink Nudge Nudge Nuff Said.

If true, and he doesn't play, all bets for victory are off. The dropoff from Baker to Austin Kendall is like Domantis Sabonis stepping into the Thunder lineup to replace Kevin Durant.

The big confirmed news today though is the return of Semaje Perine and Joe Mixon. I'm going with Samaje for my OPOG today on the basis of two things. One, the Baylor run defense sucks. Two, Semaje is rested and, I assume, ready to put on some pads and run over, around and through some fools. I think he has his best day of the year today. He'll go for about 175 and three scores. Keith's lock of the week.

DEFENSE

All I can say here is that hopefully the D has built up enough confidence against Kansas and Iowa State to lift them a peg above the suboptimal brand of football they demonstrated most of the season.

This one boils down to the Sooners stopping Baylor's rushing attack. Paradoxically I think it's the secondary that will be the key. If they can be halfway decent it should free up the front to focus on stopping the rushing attack. That secondary needs to be physical and I'm not sure they have it in them. Or, perhaps closer to the mark, they aren't coached that way.

Picking someone for DPOG on this side is nearly impossible since most are injured or new. I have no idea who's even playing at a given time. So, just because for some reason he's my favorite player on that side of the ball I'll pick Sir Neville Gallimore.

THE SCORE

I have no reason to believe the Sooners are 18 points better than the Bears like the current line indicates but I haven't watched much Baylor football either. On paper these teams look pretty even so I expect yet another blood pressure raising shootout. So double down on the Zestril and hang on. Sooners 56, Baylor 49.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

ISU

The Sooners, fresh off a dominating performance against KU, roll up to Ames on a short week to take on a scrappy Iowa State team. The Red Carpet actually put together some stops last week and looked something like a defense. Normally I'd temper all excitement with some shots at KU, but this defense is so abysmal any victory is huge. Let's hope something is starting to work, but not hold our breath while doing so.

OU, once an embarrassment of talent in the backfield are now without an injured Perine and a suspended Joe Mixon. The suspensions are just as much of a part of the Stoops clown show as the big stage embarrassments and non-adjustments. I don't have much else to say about it. Hopefully someone else can step up, but Mixon and his all-around production will be hard to replace.

Offense

With hardly anyone in the backfield, the choices for OPG are narrowing by the minute. I'd love to go against the grain somewhat and say Mark Andrews, he's due to break out (a sentence I feel I've been repeating since last year), but I am going with The Secretary. It's almost dumb to pick Dede and not Mayfield, but I'm doing it because I envision some nice plays after the catch.

Defense

Well, as promised they finally played like a team. I still don't think there is anyone over here who is worth DPG, but I'm going with Steven Parker tonight. I think he plays well. This could go back to nobody next week.

Score

This feels like a let down to me. Not that I expect anyone was overly fired up to play/beat KU, but they dominated. It's just the type of win that gets the Stoop boys overconfident and going through the motions. Couple that with a missing Mixon and Perine, a road game against a team/school who still gets fired up to play OU, and a short week and this looks like a recipe for a loss. In the upset special, I think Iowa State wins it 31-27. Man, I hope I'm wrong.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Iowa State

The Sooners TCoB against Kansas last Saturday which was nice to see. The defense got some much needed positive results though I would hasten to add that they shouldn't go glad-slapping one another's buttocks just yet. Offensively, the Sooners kept on trucking. Dede Westbrook is apparently the real deal. He had about a million total yards. I like what he brings to the table. Can you believe his was the first punt return for a TD since Jalen Saunders in 2013?

From the unfortunate news department, wunderkind cum bona fide lunkhead Joe Mixon got a parking ticket and proceeded to rip it up in front of the enforcement officer. Honestly, it's a move we've all dreamed of pulling. But he's on a deserved short leash and won't be making the trip to Ames. I hate that the powers that be have to yank the chain so hard over a parking ticket but I don't think they have much choice given history.

OFFENSE

With Mixon and Perine out it's up to Abdul Adams to handle the load with the ground game. He's been serviceable and that's really all he needs to be to soften up Iowa State enough for the Mayfield-Westbrook show.

I would highly recommend the Sooners also utilize Dimitri Flowers. He is inexplicably underused and while I am not saying he is as good as Joe Mixon he does catch the ball well and would provide some continuity for an offense who has been utilizing two back sets all season.

I'm going with Adams as my OPOG since the Sooners have to take advantage of Iowa State's atrocious run defense and to set the table for the passing game.

DEFENSE

Before I forget I would like to congratulate Jordan Evans on his sweet INT for TD last week. That was fun to watch.

I am starting to get lulled into this, "Woe is us, look at our injuries piling up" mentality. This is dangerous. I'm getting set up for bad times down the road as the wins pile up and players start coming back. Plus I've been fully on board the "It's the coaching, stupid" bandwagon and I'm too invested to change course.

Question: Would you rather get let down against West Virginny, Baylor or OSU and get properly relegated to a bowl game you can win? Or beat those guys in shootouts, win the Big 12 and get roasted in a bowl game the Sooners have no business being invited to in the first place? My pride says win the Big 12 but my sour memories aren't excited about playing someone like A&M or Lousiville. Plenty of time to sort through these emotions I suppose.

First things first. Hold Iowa State to their season average of 26ish points.

THE GAME

The Sooners will do yeomen's work on offense. The ground game plays well despite not having Perine or Mixon and Baker, Dede and Andrews take care of the rest. The D almost holds Iowa State below their scoring average. Sooners roll 42-28.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner