Kansas Jayhawks

Today the Sooners welcome the beleaguered Kansas Jayhawks to Norman. Nobody should be happier about that than Mike Stoops. Last week his "Defense" surrendered half a mile in yardage and managed to set modern football back a decade. Thankfully, Texas Tech's D was not to be outdone as they allowed the Sooners to run and pass over, around and through them all night.

There's not much else to say about Kansas honestly. The most exciting aspect for me is it's a great game to take my son to. 

OFFENSE

The holy triumvirate of BD Mayfield, Joe Mixon and the secretary Dede Westbrook have really rounded into form in Samaje Perine's absence. It's easier to read Hillary Clinton's emails than it is to get an injury report out of the Sooners so I have no idea if Perine will play tonight. On one hand the smart thing would be to hold him out since they shouldn't need him. On the other hand I wouldn't be surprised if he was back fielding punts. To put it more on the nose I'm not real impressed with the decision making of this staff sometimes. 

I'm going to hop on the Dede Westbrook train this week. He is starting to exude confidence and with the Jayhawks sucking so completely he could easily go for 150 today. I'm actually going to predict 200. Boom.

DEFENSE

Here's the deal. The Jayhawks average 20 points a game. If they score 20 today Mike Stoops should quit. If they score 14 it might need to still be on the table.

If this defense doesn't come out fired up and ready to play some Rookie Level Madden D, Sooner Nation can and should be apoplectic.

SCORE

40 points is a huge spread but the Sooners should be able to cover. The defense has a lot to prove and the offense just needs to keep on trucking. 

Sooners 56, Jayhawks 24

Later Mikey. Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Kansas

Hello reader(s), today's post will be brief as I have family in town and little time to put into this. Plus, it's Kansas so at the risk of displaying my poor attitude toward the game, no one is going to be too fired up for this one. I'm guessing the stadium has some bare patches today. KU has never beaten OU in big 12 play, that's a long time. Allegedly they play better defense than in years past, but I don't really know. They're a basketball school that also has a football team, that's about the end of it.

OU really had the full "defense" on display last week. As Mitch astutely pointed out, Tech was a one dimensional team coming in, and OU made them record setters in that one dimension. Pretty shitty is about the most positive assessment I can make for the Red Carpet. Today should be a little more manageable, though I'm sure KU will have one of their best offensive days of the season.

Offense

You could have named 3 or 4 guys last week as an OPG pick and been right. I questioned whether Joe Mixon was ready to be "the guy" and carry a full load. He answered that with a resounding yes. What a game. I do think KU will be keying on him today, in spite of a balanced Sooner attack. I could easily take The Secretary, but instead I'm going with Baker today. I think KU tries to take the run game out of it as much as they can, and he goes off with a big day.

Defense

That was an embarrassment last week. Winning helps everything, but there is no way anyone can call that performance more than dog shit. Still waiting on someone to step up.

Score

As I mentioned, I think KU has one of their better performances of the year in this one offensively. But, I think they are really overmatched on the road against a talented Sooner offense and the home crowd. OU flies out early and this one isn't in doubt after half time. Sooners win 49-24.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.

Texas Tech

Sorry about my missing last week. I was out in the woods outside of Davis, OK at Camp Classen. I was there for a father-son camping weekend. It was good times and thank you for asking. Cellular reception was spotty at best unfortunately. Why didn't I plan ahead for just such a contingency you might ask? I have a "day job" is one reason and I don't roll that way is another.

Anyways we won and from the highlights it appears Lincoln Riley is actively looking to find ways to exploit the speed of one Dede Westbrook. From the Hot Take Department, "The offense is better overall as a result." I have no idea what the defense looked like but the Sooners won in fairly convincing fashion and Mike Stoops is still frothing and spewing on his headset microphone so I assume it was a passable performance.

On now to Texas Tech and four hours of my wife openly lusting for more close-ups of Klifford K. Kingsbury. "He's an asshole" I say. "He looks like Ryan Gosling and Ryan Gosling is my Free Pass celeb". Oh. So I'll just empty this trash real quick while you mentally make a baby with him.

OFFENSE

I'd like to ride the hot hand here and say Dede is going to light it up again. But I like the Baker Mayfield against his old nemesis Klifford angle a bit more. So here's to BD Mayfield going over, around and through a prototypically weak Texas Tech D.

What's Perine's status any way? That information is better protected than any data point on the Interwebtubes.

DEFENSE

I didn't get to watch these guys last week but I'm not sure it matters. Patrick Mahomes is poised to give the Sooners fits. Lubbock is always a tough place for the Sooners to play. I don't feel good about it.

Who's giving a shit on this side of the ball for the Sooners? I'll pick that guy for DPOG.

SCORE

I hate to sound like a broken record but the potential for barn burners exists every game. The Sooners have to score 38 plus against everyone to have a chance for the D. It makes for good entertainment if you can keep your innards from spilling out on the floor from anxiety.

I'll say 52-35 Sooners

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

Texas Tech

Let me start by offering apologies for my shit piece last week where I mistakenly thought the Sooners had a road game. I relied (never again) on The Oklahoman and its crack reporting, who evidently isn't aware that when listing a ____ vs ____ matchup, the home team is always second, I digress.

The Sooners head down the road to Lubbock today to take on yet another high-flying Red Raider offense, currently featuring the nations leading passer. The Red Raiders score points in bunches, and have likely had special made cups brought in this week to accommodate the boners produced in awaiting the Sooner "defense". The Red Carpet is currently allowing 33 points/game which is, astonishingly not worst in the conference. They have allowed a conference-worst 1664 yards through the air, the run defense is better, but then, why would you run if you don't have to. Tech is going to score today, a lot.

Remember, when I said OU is not the worst in points per game in the Big 12 (if you don't, seek medical attention immediately, I literally said it two sentences ago), guess who is? That's right this game is going be 85 Bears vs 00 Ravens. Normally, I'd go with a close low scoring affair in the face of this matchup, but the defenses are just too terrible, and both teams winning is predicated on scoring last in a shootout. Tech will be fired up as this is Mayfield's first trip to Lubbock since transferring, a story the Fox announcers stayed up all night devising inventive ways to run into the ground by the end of the first quarter (cue cut away to Mayfield being interviewed in street clothes, one-on-one, in a canvas directors chair).

Offense

Perine being out really hurts the offense I think. He's obviously a monster, and I think the best player on the team, but he's also fresh legs and a change of pace for Mixon. I don't know if Mixon is ready to do the yeoman's work of 30+ carries and even more touches, it doesn't feel like his style. I'm sure Mayfield will be fired up, but he'll also be a marked man and the the offensive line isn't the best we've seen. I do like Baker to have a solid day and he does so by going to his new favorite target, The Secretary--Dede Westbrook. Dede dials up 150+ yards, a touchdown, and 4 cups of hot coffee for the afternoon sales meeting in an all-around solid day.

Defense

I have to admit, at first I enjoyed coming up with different ways to hate this defense, but now it's just pathetic. I assumed at some point a player or two would stand out as solid against this turd backdrop. Alas, while bright spots have been seen, there is no consistency apart from the fact that collectively the D will be embarrassed.

Score

As I alluded to earlier, this will be a track meet. Even in years when OU had something resembling a defense they've been scored upon early and often in Lubbock. Will OU have enough to win on the road? Stoops is already in his patented mode of winning out after some terrible losses to salvage a slightly-more-than-mediocre season where he can hang his hat smugly on some selective end-point statistic about how the season was a success. So yes, the Sooners do enough to win 54-48.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

K State

Well, the Sooners pulled out another defensive abomination last week and it couldn't have come against a more choice opponent. As down as I am on the Sooners this year I always hate texas so much. It's a treat to beat their asses, even if the game is as ugly as a sweaty FUPA. OU has established that they have zero ability to stop anyone. Offenses lick their chops to "get right" against the Sooner D. My buddy Larry aptly named the Sooner D the Red Carpet because A) they get walked all over, B) they wear red, and C) they lead offenses directly to the end zone. So they shall henceforth be referenced as so.

I know very little about K State. My guess is they play sound fundamental football, are well coached, and probably have half of the talent that OU does. They will be hyped for this game because these days K State still sees OU as a power. And beating a national power can define a season where little else is on the line. It's always tough to win in Manhattan, and the Sooners will be in for a test today. Can the Sooners continue to win 5 point games where both teams break 40? Hopefully, because that is their only chance.

Offense

Samaje Perine looked like an animal last week. He's one of my favorite Sooners ever for a host of reasons, not the least of which is his penchant for destroying texas. But he got his ass worked off last week and I think there is a mild hangover this week. The emergence of Dede "The Secretary" Westbrook adds a wrinkle for possible OPG, but I still think the Sooner offense butters its bread in the backfield. After an off week where he played probably his worst game of 2016, Joe Mixon has a day today. I like him to go off this fine Saturday.

Defense

Still nothing.

Score

I tried swimming upstream last week with my patented "everyone thinks shootout so it will be low scoring" method. However, I forgot to carry the 4 and to factor in that OU has the defense from Little Giants this year. This will be no different. Snyder will go home happy that conservative power I handoffs, screens and 6 yard passes to the TE finally puts up 40+ points. I think OU will be out-coached in this one, but I also think the talent level discrepancy is just too far in the Sooners favor. Another ass-burner today, Sooners win 47-43.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

AT&T Red River Showdown ™

From the Texas State Fair website: When Burnt Orange collides with Crimson Red, watch out!

Indeed.

I'm a big fan of the intangibles in sports so this one is right up my alley. Each team is playing to save a coaches job. Charlie Strong for Texas and it should be Mike Stoops gainful employment on the line, at minimum, for the Sooners.

The Texas powers that be have been fed up with Charlie for about two years it seems. Last year beating the Sooners seemed to buy him another year. Houston's Tom Herman is probably already working out the details of his contract in the backroom of Houston strip club as we speak. I don't think Charlie can lose another game this year if he wants to stay. That's a tall task because they suck. That's why he's in this position after all.

For the beleaguered Mike Stoops he just can't seem to get his defense to improve. In fact, they seem to be regressing. If you throw out the Louisiana Monroe game (and they racked up 350 yards), the Sooners gave up 80 plays and 410 yards to Houston, 68 and 443 to Ohio State and 74 and 514 to TCU. And he's getting no sympathy from the masses.

Fortunately for Mike and unfortunately for Charlie, their teams offenses are headed in opposite directions. The Sooners have figured out, and are starting to behave accordingly, that Joe Mixon is probably the best player on the field for either team, every game, from here on out. The Texas offense is average at best. Their D is historically awful. This bodes well. But then back to those intangibles...

OFFENSE

As mentioned the Sooner offense did something resembling hitting its stride against TCU and played its best football of the year by far. So that's great news. Joe Mixon is in full on beast mode. Semarje looked like he benefitted from the off week and looked healthy again. Dede Westbrook had a great game. Hopefully he can pick up where he left off.

Until further notice, I'm going Joe Mixon for OPOG. Feed this young man the football. Dude is ready to go beast mode. Although, the Sooners love adding a new wrinkle for this game. Demitri Flowers would be a good dark horse bet for that pick.

DEFENSE

RB Chris Warren is out which helps curb the ground game. QB Shane Beuchele of the Beuchele clan is only a Freshman but seems to be the QB of the future. He's hitting 65% of his passes which scares the hell out of me. That season percentage is probably going to edge up higher after this week.

Charles Walker is out on account of being concussed. Tay Evans career is over for the same reason. Matt Dimon is out. Will Johnson is out. DJ Ward might play. This is a lot to overcome admittedly. Good luck accepting that when the freshman is torching the Sooner secondary and the D-line is getting zero push up front.

For grins I'm going to pick Neville Gallimore. I think he should play a lot anyway. But with all the injuries up front I think he can make an impact. I can't tell if this is even a remote possibility though because those shit-for-brains over at soonersports.com took down the link to the depth chart. I wish Yahoo! gave half the shit about privacy that these guys seem to think the game of college football requires.

THE GAME

I don't trust the Sooners as 12 point favorites. I don't trust that psychologically the Sooners can bring more energy than the Longhorns. I don't like that Charlie Strong is playing for his job.

I don't think the Horns can stop our offense either. This could be a game worthy of it's name and, if it goes down like last week, could be historically fun to watch.

I really think every game from here on out is going to be a shootout. I'll take the Sooners, of course, 45-38.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

texas

The 2016 iteration of the Red River matchup is upon us. For the last decade and a half or so, this game has been huge. With national title implications for one, or both, of the teams, the nation historically turns its eye to Dallas in early October. At 2-2, both OU and texas have fallen off this season from lofty standards. Not even network television is interested enough, as the game is relegated to cable tv back-burner, FS1. Nonetheless, two states will put down whatever they're doing to tune in. 

Charlie Strong is again coaching for his job in this one, and Stoops ought to be. Though the Sooners won in TCU last week, it wasn't exactly a confidence inspiring performance. I guess the hope will be to run into a defense each week that is (improbably) more atrocious than our own. I digress, I will lay off of the hate this week as much as I can. This game is too big and too fun to get caught up in that. This type of game is what makes watching college football so much fun. No matter the stakes, this game gets the blood pumping like no other for Sooner nation. 

This game should be a struggle in the sense that neither team is particularly good at football. Each has bright spots, and each are cancelled out by equally abysmal facets of the game. I don't exactly know what to expect in terms of how this game will play out. I do know that the atmosphere will be electric (as always), and the teams will be fired up. It's a good day to be a fan of both teams, at least until 11AM CST. 

Offense

Baker Mayfield looked like Baker Mayfield! last week. That was fun. Make no mistake, TCU has a terrible defense, but making big plays and scoring a lot of points is always a good time. Mixon is a beast, Perine is a beast, Mayfield is a beast; in short, we have a decent collection of beasts. Who will play well today? I say Perine. He's kicked some ass in this game in the past. He's been relatively quiet this year running behind the offensive line heretofore known as Pussy Olè. Today he gets off, and cements his name in Red River lore.

Defense

WDBWYS? (see last week's post). I should make a knitted bracelet.

Score

It seems everyone in the world is expecting a track meet. Rightfully so; neither team has much interest in tackling or covering. But I'm going with my patented move based on anecdotal evidence of the highest order (the only evidence I use) where the score flies in the face of expectation, and unlike recent weeks my heart can't be ignored in picking this one: Sooners 22-20.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

TCU

That Ohio State game was a debacle. A perpetually frustrating demonstration in lack of discipline and preparation. It somehow ended up looking much closer (still not close) than it actually was. The offensive line is shit, and the defense is something akin to an adult diaper made of gift-bag tissue paper, i.e. not holding much. From pre-season #3 (admittedly, that was awfully generous) to unranked in the span of 3 games. That's what happens when you get your ass kicked by the only 2 legitimate teams you play.

Les Miles was fired last weekend. Fired for failing to do more than win 8-10 games every season. Fired for failing to adapt to the changing game that is college football. Fired in spite of landing a top 5 recruiting class nearly every year, and sending multiple stars to the NFL each season. Sound familiar? Well, maybe not, the Sooners seldom have a top 5 recruiting class and almost none of their players star at the next level. Otherwise, that is OU, only with a shorter history of these failures than the Sooners. In my mind it's been at least 10 years since the hyper-athletic, dual-threat QB came in vogue. OU still has absolutely zero clue on how to even contain this variety of player, let alone stop them. That is the opposite of progress.

The Sooners have had two weeks to prepare for this game in Ft. Worth. I'm sure they're licking their wounds and what not after Ohio State. On paper, OU is probably as talented as, if not more than, TCU. The coaches have had ample time to prepare the team for a good horned frogs squad. OU had better come to play, because Gary Patterson (an underrated coach I think) will damn sure have his guys ready.

Offense

OU's only really strong area is at the skill positions in the backfield. Sadly, this is masked by an offense line who evidently hasn't been informed that defensive players move around, and it's good to get in their way on occasion. I will pick Baker Mayfield today. I really like him, and I feel bad for him that he's really toiling on a bad team. He's a good player and looks like he really leaves it all out there trying to win. I think he does some good things today, and his receivers don't let him down.

Defense

If someone passed you a plate of giant dog boners and asked you which one you'd prefer to suck on for three hours, how would you decide which one?

Score

I'm really tired of losing, and I'm really tired of the way they're losing (read: "Kicked, The Sooner Football Ass Story). I would love to see the guys go down, come out fired up, and fly around the field making plays. But I hate to say it, I just don't see it. Maybe if this game were in Norman, but I think OU plays it close in the first half and fails to adjust after the break. TCU 31, OU 17.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.