Oklahoma State

I'm afraid it's going to be a familiar refrain from me in this one, loyal reader(s). The season is setting up as a typical Stoops campaign. Some early losses, at least one that should have never happened, then riding an above average (but nowhere near elite) team to an empty conference title and a second-tier bowl appearance that no one will care about outside of (and possibly within) school circles. This will likely lead to some snarky and arrogant retorts by Stoops if/when questioned about the program falling off in the national picture. It's a broken record at this point (and yes I remember last seasons playoff appearance...where the Sooners were dismantled).

Oklahoma State comes to town in a tasty top 10 matchup. Sadly, it really means nothing beyond pride and viewership will likely be up due to a lack of anything else to watch today. Oklahoma State comes in on the tail-end of a nice season where they should probably be more in the playoff conversation than they are. Their QB will likely be a first or second round bust in the next 2 or 3 years, which means he's probably going to have a huge day against the Red Carpet.

I should backpedal a bit and say the Sooners did play a fine game in WVU two weeks ago. Though it should be noted that the Mountaineers did diarrhea all over themselves multiple times in that first half, basically gifting an insurmountable lead to OU. But in the interest of credit where due, OU did capitalize on the mistakes and came out with a nice win. Will The Sooner D show up today? Will the offense control the ball with the run-game in between bombs to the Secretary? Will Oklahoma State wear helmets shaped like actual cowboy hats and some kind of lights on their pants?

Offense

This is fun picking these. For all of the negativity I spew on the Sooners, they can score some points when the offensive line does their job. The skill players are all really great, and they are a nice complementary group with different strengths. I'd love to go Mixon or Perine, and I really think they'll both have very nice games. I also think Mayfield will do a nice job, but I'm going with The Secretary. Dede score 2 long touchdowns where he simply outruns everyone else on the field, goes over 150 yards receiving, and takes 3 mistake-free memos while covering the phones.

Defense

Still not going to do it. I just can't, and it annoys me when I do.

Score

It's a shootout...again. OSU will be ready and they are probably the more complete team simply based on our terrible defense. If this were in Stillwater I'd absolutely pick the pokes. But it's not, and I think being at home is enough. In a rare-for-this-season moment of optimism, I think OU wins this one 47-44.


Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Bedlam

Who's ready for some 10-2 and a Big 12 Title? Nobody, if you're fed up with 10-2 seasons, ornamental Big 12 Titles and falling just shy of being elite. On the other hand, 9-3 and Big 12 runners-up after a Bedlam loss does not have a nice ring to it at all. I'm kind of fiddle-farting around here (Technical Jargon) to say that this game is kind of a big deal.

The Sooners are coming off their most impressive win of the season against West Virginia. The Sooners eliminated the Mountaineers from Big 12 title contention and completely wiped them out of the national conversation. The Sooners took the fight to the Mountaineers early. The offense was firing on all cylinders and the defense delivered its best performance by far. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention a lapse in the second half where Lincoln Riley forgot he did not have the luxury of a defense capable of protecting a four touchdown lead and said defense forgot there were four quarters in a football game. Still, it was by far the best total performance for the Sooners thus far this season and it came at no better time.

Oklahoma State, meanwhile, comes in riding a seven game win streak against opponents as impressive as Mike Gundy's mullet. Mike Gundy, by the way, tucks his sweatshirt into his pleated pants lest you believe the mullet is some part of some overall hipster persona. Sorry Poke fans he's just not cool. He's a putz.

OFFENSE

What more can you say, really? The Sooners are a juggernaut at this point. Two Heisman candidates in Baker and the Secretary, Dede Westbrook. The best running back tandem in college football and an offensive line that's getting better by the week. Oklahoma State simply can't matchup across the field to bottle up the Sooners. The only hope for the Cowboys is to turn the ball over multiple times and that's not going to happen.

For my OPOG I'm going with Dede. I've enjoyed his coming out party on the national scene and it would be awesome if he could put a nice tidy bow on his surging Heisman campaign by lighting it up.

DEFENSE

Here's where I'm at mentally. I can now step outside of myself and not be blinded by crimson colored glasses. I can see that the Sooners offense is fun enough to watch and, ergo, vis a vis, live with the fact that the defense is just bad enough that whoever they play will also score points. The result of which is a fun contest to watch. But the offense is so good that I need not sweat the outcome. At this point they will not play an elite defense Saturday or in a bowl game so let's just roll with it.

As for the Cowboys, they are not as lethal on offense as in years past. Mason Rudolph is average. Poke wide receiver James Washington (who is elite) and the Sooners secondary will make him appear slightly above average (hopefully not All World). The OSU running attack is meh.

For my DPOG I'm going with Jordan Evans for maybe the fourth week in a row. Again, he is the sharpest in a drawer of dull knives.

THE SCORE

The bottom line is the Sooners D is marginally (and I mean the thinnest of margins) better than the Cowboys. The Sooners offense is better at every position including wide receiver. The Cowboys don't have enough on either side of the ball to overcome BD Mayfield, Dede, Joe Mixon and Semaje Perine. Plus, it's in Norman.

I like the Sooners here big.

Sooners 52, OSU 35

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

WVU Mountaineers

OU avoided a trap game last Thursday in a classic, what-the-hell-happened? game that has bitten the Sooners in the past. A cupcake sandwiched between two good teams, on the road, and on a short week no less, but OU was able to find enough to beat a sorely overmatched ISU team. Now, it's on to Morgantown to take on a tough WVU club that has only lost one. 

This will be a tough road game to be sure, WVU can score, and if you have watched as much as 30 seconds of Sooner football this year, we don't care much for preventing that. I know, I know, They haven't played anybody... (inferior intelligence voice), and they haven't, that's true. I'd argue we haven't either besides Ohio State and maaaaaybe Houston and...so... This looks like it might be Texas Tech 2: The Red Carpet Returns. Let's suffice to say that between the Ruf Neks and that buckskin brawler, they'll need enough ammo to stage an Alamo reenactment. 

Offense

This is the fun part of the picks category. One where there are, you know, viable optionS. I like Mixon. I like Perine. I like Mayfield and of course I like The Secretary. I think all will play very respectable games that in any other context would be gimmes for this "award". But, I'm picking Perine in this one. I think that at some point ball control will play a factor (reader: knowing laugh/pitiful head shake) and that's our guy for hitting you in the mouth and picking up first downs. Give me Samaje!

Defense

Whew, I tried, I really did. But there just isn't anyone. It's a terrible D, and it's not just one or two weak spots or key players. It's a rotating cast of missed assignments, shitty tackling and general buffoonery. No one is exempt. So, I can't do it. I'd mention how badly we'll miss Charles Walker but he hasn't really played all year anyway. Best of luck to him.

Score

As much as people want to say this has national title implications, the chances of that are pretty absurd. It does however have conference title implications. And as sure as Stoops can't beat anyone on the national stage, he can win conference championships. Sooners take this one in another laugher (for the wrong reasons) 55-49.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

West Virginia

Just as we all thought, Big 12 title hopes run through Morgantown this week as the Sooners take on West Virginia. The winner stays in control of their destiny and loser is relegated to a mid-tier bowl, at best.

Moral dilemma. I broached the subject last week but now it's real. The Sooners are overrated. I think we will end the season with three losses. I'm sorry, but as good as the offense is (and it is elite), an 81st ranked defense has no business being in the top 10 nationally, much less the playoffs. It does not compute. Fun aside, while I was looking at defensive team stats; The Sooners are ranked 81st nationally. Five SEC teams are ranked lower. That conference's reputation is staked on two or three teams a year at best.

So, would you rather that third loss come against West Virgina or Oklahoma State? On the plus side the Sooners would be properly rated, play in a second tier bowl and likely dominate someone. There will be no anxiety heading into the bowl game and the Sooners end the season on a high note. I would obviously rather lose to West Virginny on the road than the Cowboys at home.

Or the Sooners win out and someone (likely others- plural) lose and the Sooners backdoor their way into the playoffs. Yay playoffs. Boo probable ass whipping.

If you have any pride and competitive spirit you would want to win out and get in the playoffs, right? This team just has no business being there. I'm torn.

OFFENSE

The Sooners haven't faced a defense this tough (at least statistically) since Ohio State. The Mountaineers haven't faced an offense this potent since Oklahoma State. What gives?

The recent emergence of additional receiving options for Baker Mayfield gives the Sooners a big time edge. Obviously the Secretary Dede Westbrook is playing video game level football right now but eventually a competent defense is going to come along and have a safety help out over the top, right? It's easier said than done if you start having to think about Geno Lewis and/or Nick Basquine and/or Mark Andrews (what's happened to him?) and/or Joe Mixon.

The Sooners are rounding into form at the right time. Receivers are stepping up. The backfield is at full strength. Baker is being Baker. And the O-Line personnel seems settled and looking tough. I just don't see the Mountaineers shutting it down. I lose my boner a little bit when I think about the Mountaineers playing at home, at night, on national TV though.

For my OPOG I'm going Joe Mixon.

DEFENSE

West Virginia does not have the playmakers of years past. Still, they average 30 points a game. Care to guess how many the Sooners Red Carpet averages giving up? Against inferior competition over the last month they have started to look better. Can this newfound confidence hold a better team under its scoring average, on the road, on Saturday night? My butthole is puckered.

I'd like to also point out that any talk about key players coming back and helping out can be put to rest. Charles Walker and Matt Dimon are both done as Sooners. So they aren't walking through that door. We are what we are.

For my DPOG I'll go Jordan Evans. He's playing like a guy who sees his collegiate career winding down and wants to go out on a high note. He's been playing really well.


SCORE

Get ready for a nail biter. The Sooners will be held below their scoring average and West Virginia won't. Playmakers are the difference for the Sooners and the nation will get to behold Baker, Joe, Samje and Dede in all their glory.

Sooners 38, West Virginia 35

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

Baylor Bears

I'm only putting this up 10 minute prior to kickoff because I've not slept in 3 days creating the perfect "piece" and wanted to ensure no detail was overlooked in creating this masterpiece. OU avoided the upset last week in a classic "trap" game, now let's see if they can force at least 1 punt in this track meet against Baylor

Offense

After a week to think about his egregious miscue, I feel that Mixon comes back with a vengeance. I just learned that Perine is back as well which is huge as he is a monster. But today belongs to Mixon with 2 scores and 150+ all purpose yards.

Defense

I'm going with Steven Parker again, mostly because I'm feeling generous. Let's see what happens against a Baylor offense ripe to score 40+.

Score

Speaking of 40+, I think OU wins by virtue of having the home crowd in this one, 49-45. The spread is a ludicrous 17.5 in favor of the Sooners, making me wish I was in Vegas as I'd bet my house against that one.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Baylor

The Sooners take on the Sinners from Baylor today. The luster of this one doesn't match recent years. That bodes well for the Sooners.

In the past, Art Briles would dial up the ol "5 yard out and up your ass until you stop it" routine. It's effectiveness was more due to Baylor's offense being lethal than defensive ineptitude (though at the time it didn't feel that way). This year it will be because the Red Carpet (hat tip) is rolled out.

Today it might be BD Mayfield's turn to embarrass. I know I'd love to see it. It's legitimate to ask how Baylor has a football team at this point anyway.

OFFENSE

I had lunch with Travis Frye, a gentleman and scholar, who tossed out a theory that Mayfield might not play today. Mr. Frye has a side project wherein he diagnoses others drug use, plastic surgery and now, apparently, unreported football injuries. He thinks Mayfield suffered a concussion late last week and couldn't have possibly passed protocol this week.

Of course the public has heard nothing on this but it could certainly be possible. Although I also think it's likely the protocol, if it was protocoled (?), was "passed". Wink Wink Nudge Nudge Nuff Said.

If true, and he doesn't play, all bets for victory are off. The dropoff from Baker to Austin Kendall is like Domantis Sabonis stepping into the Thunder lineup to replace Kevin Durant.

The big confirmed news today though is the return of Semaje Perine and Joe Mixon. I'm going with Samaje for my OPOG today on the basis of two things. One, the Baylor run defense sucks. Two, Semaje is rested and, I assume, ready to put on some pads and run over, around and through some fools. I think he has his best day of the year today. He'll go for about 175 and three scores. Keith's lock of the week.

DEFENSE

All I can say here is that hopefully the D has built up enough confidence against Kansas and Iowa State to lift them a peg above the suboptimal brand of football they demonstrated most of the season.

This one boils down to the Sooners stopping Baylor's rushing attack. Paradoxically I think it's the secondary that will be the key. If they can be halfway decent it should free up the front to focus on stopping the rushing attack. That secondary needs to be physical and I'm not sure they have it in them. Or, perhaps closer to the mark, they aren't coached that way.

Picking someone for DPOG on this side is nearly impossible since most are injured or new. I have no idea who's even playing at a given time. So, just because for some reason he's my favorite player on that side of the ball I'll pick Sir Neville Gallimore.

THE SCORE

I have no reason to believe the Sooners are 18 points better than the Bears like the current line indicates but I haven't watched much Baylor football either. On paper these teams look pretty even so I expect yet another blood pressure raising shootout. So double down on the Zestril and hang on. Sooners 56, Baylor 49.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

ISU

The Sooners, fresh off a dominating performance against KU, roll up to Ames on a short week to take on a scrappy Iowa State team. The Red Carpet actually put together some stops last week and looked something like a defense. Normally I'd temper all excitement with some shots at KU, but this defense is so abysmal any victory is huge. Let's hope something is starting to work, but not hold our breath while doing so.

OU, once an embarrassment of talent in the backfield are now without an injured Perine and a suspended Joe Mixon. The suspensions are just as much of a part of the Stoops clown show as the big stage embarrassments and non-adjustments. I don't have much else to say about it. Hopefully someone else can step up, but Mixon and his all-around production will be hard to replace.

Offense

With hardly anyone in the backfield, the choices for OPG are narrowing by the minute. I'd love to go against the grain somewhat and say Mark Andrews, he's due to break out (a sentence I feel I've been repeating since last year), but I am going with The Secretary. It's almost dumb to pick Dede and not Mayfield, but I'm doing it because I envision some nice plays after the catch.

Defense

Well, as promised they finally played like a team. I still don't think there is anyone over here who is worth DPG, but I'm going with Steven Parker tonight. I think he plays well. This could go back to nobody next week.

Score

This feels like a let down to me. Not that I expect anyone was overly fired up to play/beat KU, but they dominated. It's just the type of win that gets the Stoop boys overconfident and going through the motions. Couple that with a missing Mixon and Perine, a road game against a team/school who still gets fired up to play OU, and a short week and this looks like a recipe for a loss. In the upset special, I think Iowa State wins it 31-27. Man, I hope I'm wrong.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Iowa State

The Sooners TCoB against Kansas last Saturday which was nice to see. The defense got some much needed positive results though I would hasten to add that they shouldn't go glad-slapping one another's buttocks just yet. Offensively, the Sooners kept on trucking. Dede Westbrook is apparently the real deal. He had about a million total yards. I like what he brings to the table. Can you believe his was the first punt return for a TD since Jalen Saunders in 2013?

From the unfortunate news department, wunderkind cum bona fide lunkhead Joe Mixon got a parking ticket and proceeded to rip it up in front of the enforcement officer. Honestly, it's a move we've all dreamed of pulling. But he's on a deserved short leash and won't be making the trip to Ames. I hate that the powers that be have to yank the chain so hard over a parking ticket but I don't think they have much choice given history.

OFFENSE

With Mixon and Perine out it's up to Abdul Adams to handle the load with the ground game. He's been serviceable and that's really all he needs to be to soften up Iowa State enough for the Mayfield-Westbrook show.

I would highly recommend the Sooners also utilize Dimitri Flowers. He is inexplicably underused and while I am not saying he is as good as Joe Mixon he does catch the ball well and would provide some continuity for an offense who has been utilizing two back sets all season.

I'm going with Adams as my OPOG since the Sooners have to take advantage of Iowa State's atrocious run defense and to set the table for the passing game.

DEFENSE

Before I forget I would like to congratulate Jordan Evans on his sweet INT for TD last week. That was fun to watch.

I am starting to get lulled into this, "Woe is us, look at our injuries piling up" mentality. This is dangerous. I'm getting set up for bad times down the road as the wins pile up and players start coming back. Plus I've been fully on board the "It's the coaching, stupid" bandwagon and I'm too invested to change course.

Question: Would you rather get let down against West Virginny, Baylor or OSU and get properly relegated to a bowl game you can win? Or beat those guys in shootouts, win the Big 12 and get roasted in a bowl game the Sooners have no business being invited to in the first place? My pride says win the Big 12 but my sour memories aren't excited about playing someone like A&M or Lousiville. Plenty of time to sort through these emotions I suppose.

First things first. Hold Iowa State to their season average of 26ish points.

THE GAME

The Sooners will do yeomen's work on offense. The ground game plays well despite not having Perine or Mixon and Baker, Dede and Andrews take care of the rest. The D almost holds Iowa State below their scoring average. Sooners roll 42-28.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Kansas Jayhawks

Today the Sooners welcome the beleaguered Kansas Jayhawks to Norman. Nobody should be happier about that than Mike Stoops. Last week his "Defense" surrendered half a mile in yardage and managed to set modern football back a decade. Thankfully, Texas Tech's D was not to be outdone as they allowed the Sooners to run and pass over, around and through them all night.

There's not much else to say about Kansas honestly. The most exciting aspect for me is it's a great game to take my son to. 

OFFENSE

The holy triumvirate of BD Mayfield, Joe Mixon and the secretary Dede Westbrook have really rounded into form in Samaje Perine's absence. It's easier to read Hillary Clinton's emails than it is to get an injury report out of the Sooners so I have no idea if Perine will play tonight. On one hand the smart thing would be to hold him out since they shouldn't need him. On the other hand I wouldn't be surprised if he was back fielding punts. To put it more on the nose I'm not real impressed with the decision making of this staff sometimes. 

I'm going to hop on the Dede Westbrook train this week. He is starting to exude confidence and with the Jayhawks sucking so completely he could easily go for 150 today. I'm actually going to predict 200. Boom.

DEFENSE

Here's the deal. The Jayhawks average 20 points a game. If they score 20 today Mike Stoops should quit. If they score 14 it might need to still be on the table.

If this defense doesn't come out fired up and ready to play some Rookie Level Madden D, Sooner Nation can and should be apoplectic.

SCORE

40 points is a huge spread but the Sooners should be able to cover. The defense has a lot to prove and the offense just needs to keep on trucking. 

Sooners 56, Jayhawks 24

Later Mikey. Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Kansas

Hello reader(s), today's post will be brief as I have family in town and little time to put into this. Plus, it's Kansas so at the risk of displaying my poor attitude toward the game, no one is going to be too fired up for this one. I'm guessing the stadium has some bare patches today. KU has never beaten OU in big 12 play, that's a long time. Allegedly they play better defense than in years past, but I don't really know. They're a basketball school that also has a football team, that's about the end of it.

OU really had the full "defense" on display last week. As Mitch astutely pointed out, Tech was a one dimensional team coming in, and OU made them record setters in that one dimension. Pretty shitty is about the most positive assessment I can make for the Red Carpet. Today should be a little more manageable, though I'm sure KU will have one of their best offensive days of the season.

Offense

You could have named 3 or 4 guys last week as an OPG pick and been right. I questioned whether Joe Mixon was ready to be "the guy" and carry a full load. He answered that with a resounding yes. What a game. I do think KU will be keying on him today, in spite of a balanced Sooner attack. I could easily take The Secretary, but instead I'm going with Baker today. I think KU tries to take the run game out of it as much as they can, and he goes off with a big day.

Defense

That was an embarrassment last week. Winning helps everything, but there is no way anyone can call that performance more than dog shit. Still waiting on someone to step up.

Score

As I mentioned, I think KU has one of their better performances of the year in this one offensively. But, I think they are really overmatched on the road against a talented Sooner offense and the home crowd. OU flies out early and this one isn't in doubt after half time. Sooners win 49-24.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.

Texas Tech

Sorry about my missing last week. I was out in the woods outside of Davis, OK at Camp Classen. I was there for a father-son camping weekend. It was good times and thank you for asking. Cellular reception was spotty at best unfortunately. Why didn't I plan ahead for just such a contingency you might ask? I have a "day job" is one reason and I don't roll that way is another.

Anyways we won and from the highlights it appears Lincoln Riley is actively looking to find ways to exploit the speed of one Dede Westbrook. From the Hot Take Department, "The offense is better overall as a result." I have no idea what the defense looked like but the Sooners won in fairly convincing fashion and Mike Stoops is still frothing and spewing on his headset microphone so I assume it was a passable performance.

On now to Texas Tech and four hours of my wife openly lusting for more close-ups of Klifford K. Kingsbury. "He's an asshole" I say. "He looks like Ryan Gosling and Ryan Gosling is my Free Pass celeb". Oh. So I'll just empty this trash real quick while you mentally make a baby with him.

OFFENSE

I'd like to ride the hot hand here and say Dede is going to light it up again. But I like the Baker Mayfield against his old nemesis Klifford angle a bit more. So here's to BD Mayfield going over, around and through a prototypically weak Texas Tech D.

What's Perine's status any way? That information is better protected than any data point on the Interwebtubes.

DEFENSE

I didn't get to watch these guys last week but I'm not sure it matters. Patrick Mahomes is poised to give the Sooners fits. Lubbock is always a tough place for the Sooners to play. I don't feel good about it.

Who's giving a shit on this side of the ball for the Sooners? I'll pick that guy for DPOG.

SCORE

I hate to sound like a broken record but the potential for barn burners exists every game. The Sooners have to score 38 plus against everyone to have a chance for the D. It makes for good entertainment if you can keep your innards from spilling out on the floor from anxiety.

I'll say 52-35 Sooners

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

Texas Tech

Let me start by offering apologies for my shit piece last week where I mistakenly thought the Sooners had a road game. I relied (never again) on The Oklahoman and its crack reporting, who evidently isn't aware that when listing a ____ vs ____ matchup, the home team is always second, I digress.

The Sooners head down the road to Lubbock today to take on yet another high-flying Red Raider offense, currently featuring the nations leading passer. The Red Raiders score points in bunches, and have likely had special made cups brought in this week to accommodate the boners produced in awaiting the Sooner "defense". The Red Carpet is currently allowing 33 points/game which is, astonishingly not worst in the conference. They have allowed a conference-worst 1664 yards through the air, the run defense is better, but then, why would you run if you don't have to. Tech is going to score today, a lot.

Remember, when I said OU is not the worst in points per game in the Big 12 (if you don't, seek medical attention immediately, I literally said it two sentences ago), guess who is? That's right this game is going be 85 Bears vs 00 Ravens. Normally, I'd go with a close low scoring affair in the face of this matchup, but the defenses are just too terrible, and both teams winning is predicated on scoring last in a shootout. Tech will be fired up as this is Mayfield's first trip to Lubbock since transferring, a story the Fox announcers stayed up all night devising inventive ways to run into the ground by the end of the first quarter (cue cut away to Mayfield being interviewed in street clothes, one-on-one, in a canvas directors chair).

Offense

Perine being out really hurts the offense I think. He's obviously a monster, and I think the best player on the team, but he's also fresh legs and a change of pace for Mixon. I don't know if Mixon is ready to do the yeoman's work of 30+ carries and even more touches, it doesn't feel like his style. I'm sure Mayfield will be fired up, but he'll also be a marked man and the the offensive line isn't the best we've seen. I do like Baker to have a solid day and he does so by going to his new favorite target, The Secretary--Dede Westbrook. Dede dials up 150+ yards, a touchdown, and 4 cups of hot coffee for the afternoon sales meeting in an all-around solid day.

Defense

I have to admit, at first I enjoyed coming up with different ways to hate this defense, but now it's just pathetic. I assumed at some point a player or two would stand out as solid against this turd backdrop. Alas, while bright spots have been seen, there is no consistency apart from the fact that collectively the D will be embarrassed.

Score

As I alluded to earlier, this will be a track meet. Even in years when OU had something resembling a defense they've been scored upon early and often in Lubbock. Will OU have enough to win on the road? Stoops is already in his patented mode of winning out after some terrible losses to salvage a slightly-more-than-mediocre season where he can hang his hat smugly on some selective end-point statistic about how the season was a success. So yes, the Sooners do enough to win 54-48.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

K State

Well, the Sooners pulled out another defensive abomination last week and it couldn't have come against a more choice opponent. As down as I am on the Sooners this year I always hate texas so much. It's a treat to beat their asses, even if the game is as ugly as a sweaty FUPA. OU has established that they have zero ability to stop anyone. Offenses lick their chops to "get right" against the Sooner D. My buddy Larry aptly named the Sooner D the Red Carpet because A) they get walked all over, B) they wear red, and C) they lead offenses directly to the end zone. So they shall henceforth be referenced as so.

I know very little about K State. My guess is they play sound fundamental football, are well coached, and probably have half of the talent that OU does. They will be hyped for this game because these days K State still sees OU as a power. And beating a national power can define a season where little else is on the line. It's always tough to win in Manhattan, and the Sooners will be in for a test today. Can the Sooners continue to win 5 point games where both teams break 40? Hopefully, because that is their only chance.

Offense

Samaje Perine looked like an animal last week. He's one of my favorite Sooners ever for a host of reasons, not the least of which is his penchant for destroying texas. But he got his ass worked off last week and I think there is a mild hangover this week. The emergence of Dede "The Secretary" Westbrook adds a wrinkle for possible OPG, but I still think the Sooner offense butters its bread in the backfield. After an off week where he played probably his worst game of 2016, Joe Mixon has a day today. I like him to go off this fine Saturday.

Defense

Still nothing.

Score

I tried swimming upstream last week with my patented "everyone thinks shootout so it will be low scoring" method. However, I forgot to carry the 4 and to factor in that OU has the defense from Little Giants this year. This will be no different. Snyder will go home happy that conservative power I handoffs, screens and 6 yard passes to the TE finally puts up 40+ points. I think OU will be out-coached in this one, but I also think the talent level discrepancy is just too far in the Sooners favor. Another ass-burner today, Sooners win 47-43.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

AT&T Red River Showdown ™

From the Texas State Fair website: When Burnt Orange collides with Crimson Red, watch out!

Indeed.

I'm a big fan of the intangibles in sports so this one is right up my alley. Each team is playing to save a coaches job. Charlie Strong for Texas and it should be Mike Stoops gainful employment on the line, at minimum, for the Sooners.

The Texas powers that be have been fed up with Charlie for about two years it seems. Last year beating the Sooners seemed to buy him another year. Houston's Tom Herman is probably already working out the details of his contract in the backroom of Houston strip club as we speak. I don't think Charlie can lose another game this year if he wants to stay. That's a tall task because they suck. That's why he's in this position after all.

For the beleaguered Mike Stoops he just can't seem to get his defense to improve. In fact, they seem to be regressing. If you throw out the Louisiana Monroe game (and they racked up 350 yards), the Sooners gave up 80 plays and 410 yards to Houston, 68 and 443 to Ohio State and 74 and 514 to TCU. And he's getting no sympathy from the masses.

Fortunately for Mike and unfortunately for Charlie, their teams offenses are headed in opposite directions. The Sooners have figured out, and are starting to behave accordingly, that Joe Mixon is probably the best player on the field for either team, every game, from here on out. The Texas offense is average at best. Their D is historically awful. This bodes well. But then back to those intangibles...

OFFENSE

As mentioned the Sooner offense did something resembling hitting its stride against TCU and played its best football of the year by far. So that's great news. Joe Mixon is in full on beast mode. Semarje looked like he benefitted from the off week and looked healthy again. Dede Westbrook had a great game. Hopefully he can pick up where he left off.

Until further notice, I'm going Joe Mixon for OPOG. Feed this young man the football. Dude is ready to go beast mode. Although, the Sooners love adding a new wrinkle for this game. Demitri Flowers would be a good dark horse bet for that pick.

DEFENSE

RB Chris Warren is out which helps curb the ground game. QB Shane Beuchele of the Beuchele clan is only a Freshman but seems to be the QB of the future. He's hitting 65% of his passes which scares the hell out of me. That season percentage is probably going to edge up higher after this week.

Charles Walker is out on account of being concussed. Tay Evans career is over for the same reason. Matt Dimon is out. Will Johnson is out. DJ Ward might play. This is a lot to overcome admittedly. Good luck accepting that when the freshman is torching the Sooner secondary and the D-line is getting zero push up front.

For grins I'm going to pick Neville Gallimore. I think he should play a lot anyway. But with all the injuries up front I think he can make an impact. I can't tell if this is even a remote possibility though because those shit-for-brains over at soonersports.com took down the link to the depth chart. I wish Yahoo! gave half the shit about privacy that these guys seem to think the game of college football requires.

THE GAME

I don't trust the Sooners as 12 point favorites. I don't trust that psychologically the Sooners can bring more energy than the Longhorns. I don't like that Charlie Strong is playing for his job.

I don't think the Horns can stop our offense either. This could be a game worthy of it's name and, if it goes down like last week, could be historically fun to watch.

I really think every game from here on out is going to be a shootout. I'll take the Sooners, of course, 45-38.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

texas

The 2016 iteration of the Red River matchup is upon us. For the last decade and a half or so, this game has been huge. With national title implications for one, or both, of the teams, the nation historically turns its eye to Dallas in early October. At 2-2, both OU and texas have fallen off this season from lofty standards. Not even network television is interested enough, as the game is relegated to cable tv back-burner, FS1. Nonetheless, two states will put down whatever they're doing to tune in. 

Charlie Strong is again coaching for his job in this one, and Stoops ought to be. Though the Sooners won in TCU last week, it wasn't exactly a confidence inspiring performance. I guess the hope will be to run into a defense each week that is (improbably) more atrocious than our own. I digress, I will lay off of the hate this week as much as I can. This game is too big and too fun to get caught up in that. This type of game is what makes watching college football so much fun. No matter the stakes, this game gets the blood pumping like no other for Sooner nation. 

This game should be a struggle in the sense that neither team is particularly good at football. Each has bright spots, and each are cancelled out by equally abysmal facets of the game. I don't exactly know what to expect in terms of how this game will play out. I do know that the atmosphere will be electric (as always), and the teams will be fired up. It's a good day to be a fan of both teams, at least until 11AM CST. 

Offense

Baker Mayfield looked like Baker Mayfield! last week. That was fun. Make no mistake, TCU has a terrible defense, but making big plays and scoring a lot of points is always a good time. Mixon is a beast, Perine is a beast, Mayfield is a beast; in short, we have a decent collection of beasts. Who will play well today? I say Perine. He's kicked some ass in this game in the past. He's been relatively quiet this year running behind the offensive line heretofore known as Pussy Olè. Today he gets off, and cements his name in Red River lore.

Defense

WDBWYS? (see last week's post). I should make a knitted bracelet.

Score

It seems everyone in the world is expecting a track meet. Rightfully so; neither team has much interest in tackling or covering. But I'm going with my patented move based on anecdotal evidence of the highest order (the only evidence I use) where the score flies in the face of expectation, and unlike recent weeks my heart can't be ignored in picking this one: Sooners 22-20.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

TCU

That Ohio State game was a debacle. A perpetually frustrating demonstration in lack of discipline and preparation. It somehow ended up looking much closer (still not close) than it actually was. The offensive line is shit, and the defense is something akin to an adult diaper made of gift-bag tissue paper, i.e. not holding much. From pre-season #3 (admittedly, that was awfully generous) to unranked in the span of 3 games. That's what happens when you get your ass kicked by the only 2 legitimate teams you play.

Les Miles was fired last weekend. Fired for failing to do more than win 8-10 games every season. Fired for failing to adapt to the changing game that is college football. Fired in spite of landing a top 5 recruiting class nearly every year, and sending multiple stars to the NFL each season. Sound familiar? Well, maybe not, the Sooners seldom have a top 5 recruiting class and almost none of their players star at the next level. Otherwise, that is OU, only with a shorter history of these failures than the Sooners. In my mind it's been at least 10 years since the hyper-athletic, dual-threat QB came in vogue. OU still has absolutely zero clue on how to even contain this variety of player, let alone stop them. That is the opposite of progress.

The Sooners have had two weeks to prepare for this game in Ft. Worth. I'm sure they're licking their wounds and what not after Ohio State. On paper, OU is probably as talented as, if not more than, TCU. The coaches have had ample time to prepare the team for a good horned frogs squad. OU had better come to play, because Gary Patterson (an underrated coach I think) will damn sure have his guys ready.

Offense

OU's only really strong area is at the skill positions in the backfield. Sadly, this is masked by an offense line who evidently hasn't been informed that defensive players move around, and it's good to get in their way on occasion. I will pick Baker Mayfield today. I really like him, and I feel bad for him that he's really toiling on a bad team. He's a good player and looks like he really leaves it all out there trying to win. I think he does some good things today, and his receivers don't let him down.

Defense

If someone passed you a plate of giant dog boners and asked you which one you'd prefer to suck on for three hours, how would you decide which one?

Score

I'm really tired of losing, and I'm really tired of the way they're losing (read: "Kicked, The Sooner Football Ass Story). I would love to see the guys go down, come out fired up, and fly around the field making plays. But I hate to say it, I just don't see it. Maybe if this game were in Norman, but I think OU plays it close in the first half and fails to adjust after the break. TCU 31, OU 17.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

OU vs. TCU

Welp I guess we are who we thought we were. The Sooners are coming off a working at the hands of the Buckeyes. tOSU is the better team. You could easily see the talent disparity. There seems to be a lot of prattle here in Sooner Nation about whether the issue is the players or coaches. If you say it's coaching then whoever you are talking to inevitably recites Bob's line about coaches not being on the field. I've used the same defense many times myself.

Something is way off though. At this point nobody would second guess Bob if he decided, right now, to send Brother Mike off packing. Mike Part II has been a disaster. And yes, Sooner fans got what they begged for. But Bob can't just fire his brother in the middle of the season. It would be untoward. And Bob can't get fired (But I saw a sign asking for it hanging from a balcony after the game). So hang on for the least exciting season of Sooner football in memory. Sorry.

Also, there are elite teams in college football. By anyone's standards, especially their own, OU is supposed to be an elite team. So nobody is off base with inflated expectations. If you want to be elite then look around at other elite teams. You know what elite teams do? They re-load. Someone leaves, someone enters, as an average across the board the overall quality of play remains the same. Elite teams don't rebuild.

The Sooners are in rebuild mode and, sadly, all it took was losing Sterling Sheperd, Zack Sanchez and Eric Striker. Three skill players with nobody filling their voids. There should be elite skill players tripping over each other on the sidelines. You hear coaches gushing about them in practice and the offseason all the time. You hear recruiting services and their minions talking about them as the next (insert all-time great name here). Why aren't they developed and ready to go when they get their chance? Are they actually elite? That's not, "on the field". That's a recruiting problem. It's a coaching problem. In college football the two are the same.

Anyway, if you care to buy into the propoganda the athletic department is spewing out, the Sooners still have a Big 12 title to play for. The race for Big 12 title number ten starts now. So let's move on, shall we?

OFFENSE

Joe Mixon

DEFENSE

Fuck off.

THE SCORE

I'm not real sure why we are favored other than it's related to the Oklahoma mythology mentioned above. We've proven we're not a top tier team. Our defense has stopped no one. If we win I think it's a shootout. I'll say 42-35.

Don't be surprised if we lose, look bad and Mike is no longer calling plays next week though.

The Ohio State

Greetings and welcome to the biggest non-conference home game since Notre Dame in 2012. Hopefully this one goes a little better, though I am not optimistic. On that note IT'S FOOTBALL TIME IN OKLAHOMA!

My lack of optimism owes to the fact that last week was every bit the schlock fest I billed it to be in this very column. Sure, the Sooners, "Took Care of Business". But it was against a team so god-awful that we still have no idea who on this Sooners team (particularly defense) can and cannot play big boy football. B.D. Mayfield did distribute the ball to a number of receivers. That needed to happen. Former walk-on Nick Basquine showed that he might be able to help a little bit. I was impressed by the motor of Neville Gallimore (GREAT football name) but he was playing because Matt Dimon did something dumb so who knows if he'll get back on the field or not. Beyond that, are we remotely prepared to hang with Ohio State on the national stage, in primetime? If you say yes with confidence, you're high.

OFFENSE

There is a lot of pressure on the O-Line here. Against Houston, they made true freshman Ed Oliver look like an All Pro. Last week they didn't get challenged. The Sooners are in deep doodoo if B.D. Mayfield is scrambling around to throw the ball away and/or Samaje Perine can't get going. Perine is averaging 45 yards per game thus far. That's one drive for him in any game the last two seasons. I don't think his skills are diminishing either. I'm telling you the O-Line needs to get their shit together double time.

For my OPOG I'm going Baker Damn Mayfield. An easy pick, yes. But in big games you need your best player to be at their best. The offense lives and dies by him. Please live. Please.


DEFENSE

Our secondary is turds. It is inconceivable that through two games against average, at best, passers that the secondary has only one pass breakup and no interceptions. One pass breakup. I'm not convinced J.T. Barrett is a great passer either but I'm also not convinced we can keep him from looking like Drew Brees. That stat is alarming. The Sooners have five pass breakups total, one from the secondary. No INT's. They are not "getting their hands on a lot of balls" as Bobby Stoops likes to say. And I'm not buying any of this vanilla defense up until now nonsense either. We're neither smart enough nor good enough for such tactics.

Never mind the pass can we stop the run? So help me if we start getting gashed up the middle. J.T. Barrett can run and the Buckeyes have their own two headed monster in the backfield in Mike Weber and Curtis Samuel.

What I'm saying here is the Sooners have to play perfect on this side of the ball. They have to be disciplined both before and after the whistle. They can't be getting lost in the secondary. They need to create turnovers. So simple and yet, to this point, unattainable.

This is wishful thinking but I'm going with Ogbonnia Okoronkwo for player of the game. I hope he has a coming out party and plays, "In a great way".

THE GAME

It's bad that I'm counting on the intangibles as the Sooners best chance of victory. By that I mean how it's a home game at night. How the atmosphere will be Texas Tech 2013 electric (hopefully). How we play better as underdogs. I used to be a firm believer in the power of such things. But if we're as bad as I think we are on the O-Line and in the secondary all that gets wiped out by halftime.

I really hope I'm wrong and I will pick a score based on the belief that I am wrong and I'm just being crotchety. Let's see what we have.

Sooners 27, Buckeyes 17

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.

Here come the Buckeyes

It's a big one, there's no way around it. The Ohio State Buckeyes come to town ranked #3 (or #4 depending on where you look) for a clash with the #14 Sooners. This is an opportunity for the Sooners to put their season goals back in front of them. A win would certainly get them back up in the rankings and back in the playoff discussion (albeit needing help). There was a time, roughly a dozen years ago, where the name Big Game Bob would be thrown about by the talking heads. A time where it wouldn't be shocking for this clash to turn into a laugher by half time with the Sooners high stepping to a 40 point demolition. Whoa, how those days have past. I read this week that no team in the nation has lost more games since 2009 when favored by double digits than the Sooners. Now, the Sooners aren't even favored, let alone by double digits in this one (the Sooners are a one point dog in this one). I do think that plays into the Sooners hands a bit.

I've talked at length about OU's woeful lack of preparation and inability to adjust in-game. Mostly this has come in games where historically the program OU is facing is much worse (see: Sooners vs. Houston et al, 2016). It also happens in big bowl games, or playoff games etc. Basically, Big Game Bob is now in the company of the Nebraska option offense and Notre Dame football. However, there is one area where the Sooners still show up from time to time. It's coming off a shitty loss, against a big time team, at home when nobody thinks they can win (wow, if that's the perfect storm needed to get them to prepare, good luck ever running the table again). Kind of, sort of, exactly like today.

Offense

I've not read a ton previewing today's game, but most of what I've read reduces this game down to Baker Mayfield vs. JT Barrett. Obviously, those two will play a big role (more on that in a minute) and have a major impact on the outcome, but if OU has any chance at all, they will need to run the ball very effectively throughout. Keeping that panty liner defense off of the field is crucial. I think Perine announces his national presence (again) and has a big day. Probably not in a highlight reel fashion, but I see more of a yeoman's work-like day with 25 carries, 90ish yards and a couple of scores. In other words, exactly what they need. 

Defense

The Sooners defense has looked pretty terrible so far. Don't bring up any ULM game references, everyone knows that's bullshit. I read that opponents with mobile/hybrid QBs 3rd down conversion rate goes up to nearly 50% against OU defenses over the last several years (that's a solid fact if I've read one), opposed to 40% vs. pocket guys. This does not bode well. JT Barrett fits the mold perfectly of every quarterback that OU struggles with. Oh, and he's also excellent against the blitz (aka the only way the Sooners ever generate pressure). Once again, there's no pick here. Someone has to prove they are hard on this side of the ball. I will happily pick it when I see it, but I'm no longer going to pretend.

Score

This game has me so fired up. My biggest fear is that OU really shits the bed and nothing remains to cheer for after the 1st half. The Sooners will be pumped and ready I think. The non-student fans may actually bring the decibels up to something above a Starbucks level. But, in an era of ever-increasing parity across the college landscape, Ohio State is maybe the only team (besides Alabama) to year-in year-out obtain elite and superior talent. Make no mistake, Barrett is great and the perfect QB to dismantle the OU D, but they are loaded nearly everywhere else too. OU will be ready and this will be a good one. Ohio State has too much, Buckeyes 31-Sooners 27.

Prove me wrong.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

The Un-Steamroller

When I reached out to Mitch a few weeks ago about getting this thing going again his interest was, um, lukewarm. So we shelved it with the idea that we'd go back to our old style of just discussing and not printing our intellectual analysis and rapist wit. So evidently at least one person was disappointed by this turn of events and things are revved up again. But, we've decided to take the gloves off and not make everything sunshine and lollipops. In fact, my personal objective is to approach this with a sort of "prove it" mentality with an assumption of the worst. I'll continue to root like crazy, because I love OU football, but it's getting pretty discouraging. Maybe nothing has changed.

The game last week was one of the more frustrating ones in a while. But, as I've thought more about it, this is the typical shit that drives me crazy every year. Lack of preparation, poor execution and absolutely zero ability to adjust. I'm going to say it, and I mean it, even last year, I don't think Stoops is much of a coach. Yes, they win 8, 9, even 10 games nearly every year. Yes, he's the winningest coach in school history, and yes it's time for a change. I'm not going to rehash it again, because I'm fairly certain I've said it before. But, it's the same shit every year. It's now starting the 17th year without a championship, and nearly a decade since they've played in one. If anyone tells you they're satisfied with that, they're either lying or they don't get Sooner football.

Offense

I will say Perine here. The offensive line is pretty shitty. Mayfield will do his usual things which are great, but he has little besides Mark Andrews (whom they don't use nearly enough, mismatch anyone?) to throw to. ULM will get beat up strictly due to an enormous talent discrepancy. Perine goes over 100 and 2 scores.

Defense

Fuck me. This is like picking which ice pick you want jammed in your urethra. Nobody is worth a pick here. Houston is talented but that shit was embarrassing. No pressure without a blitz (or with one mostly), terrible downfield coverage and no ability stop even the most favorable 3rd down situations. So I'm picking no one. They look like shit.

Score

OU will win. Probably handily, and stoops will have smug comments to anyone who questions him in anyway about shortcomings with the team. Spread is 46, I'm guessing they'll cover. Sooners win a cupcake 55-6.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

:: Pours whiskey, cracks knuckles and settles down in front of the IBM Selectra II ::

Greetings loyal readers and welcome back to another, albeit belated and surprising, addition of the Steamroller. Per  several letters to the Editor, the only thing as remotely disappointing as the Sooners performance against Houston was me and my decision to bail on this blog.

Alas, fear not for I am with thee.

By now we should all be somewhere between Bargaining and Acceptance on our personal grief journey. I'm somewhere right around here: Bargaining-------I--Depression. Remember, if you feel like you're out there alone in the wilderness, there are hundreds of thousands of Sooners fans just as bewildered and pissed off as you right now. We can get through this together.

Seriously though what the hell?

Give Houston credit. They are quality football team blah blah blah. But when will the Sooners realize every opponent approaches them like its their Super Bowl®? Houston finished 2015 with a nice bowl win and then looked at the 2016 slate and realized, "Great Hosanna! If we beat OU we're in control of our BCS destiny after week 1".

OU came off an assbeating from Clemson, looked at the schedule, saw Houston, scratched their buttholes and sniffed their fingers.

There are no valid excuses. Houston was better prepared and played harder. What happens when the Sooners are better prepared and play harder? They throttle people. How often does that happen? About as often as the shoe is on the other foot. Once or twice a season. So there's your ten wins, occasional conference title games/bowl wins and occasional national stage embarrassments. We're not trying to land lunar rovers on comets here.

On to Louisiana Monroe, a game so devoid of interest it's relegated to Pay Per View. I'd rather give away my tickets and buy the damn show than spend six hours plus heading to Norman and back for this schlock fest.

OFFENSE

I can't believe it but after the small sample size of one awful game it appears there are four options on offense. Baker Damn Mayfield (henceforth B.D. Mayfield as far as I am concerned), Samaje Perine, Joe Mixon and Mark Andrews. It is unbelievable that an offseason of work would have failed to produce two more reliable options at wide receiver. I don't even mean replacing the production of Sterling Shepard. I mean, players that can get open and not do dumb things if/when they catch the ball. Wide receiver development needs to be the focus of this game. The Sooners are effed if they can't figure it out.

However... Lincoln Riley got a case of the Heupels when he abandoned the running game which is, you know, only the most potent backfield in the country probably. Yeah, Perine went out for a bit with "a shoulder" but he returned and he makes for a damn fine decoy. I get the feeling that sort of sorcery is a bit much for these guys to handle mentally if it isn't already a contingency in the game plan though.

Since I didn't publicly proclaim that Joe Mixon will have a breakout season I will do so again for my OPOG this week. Joe Mixon is going to bust loose this year. The inexcusable lady beating is kind of behind him, he's had a whole offseason where he could participate and my advanced scouting metrics indicate he is a multi-threat beast.

I'm leaving the O-Line alone for just this minute.

DEFENSE

Well these guys looked a little disjointed to say the least. Dakota Austin earned Twitter's Vine of the Week by trying to tackle a person without the ball. Hell of a motor though I guess. Obwe Onyonkawya nee Ogbonnia Okoronkwo probably passes the Kirk Herbstreit "Eye Test" and might be one hell of a player someday but it's hard for me to tell if he was everywhere or getting picked on. Other than that I remember Steven Parker got dinged up and that's about it for the memorable moments.

The highlight for me was actually seeing Mike Stoops frothing at the mouth in the press box. He clearly belongs there. This bunch seems like they could tune out his profanity laced tirades fairly easily.

This week let's hope for baby steps. Maybe a three and out or two. Buttoning up on third down. Maybe not committing dumb shit penalties to keep drives alive. Some push up the middle? I don't know I'm spitballing here.

Who's the leader of this group anyway? Is there an MF'er? I'll pin my hopes for Defensive Player of the Game this week on Jordan Wade. It all starts up front as "they" say.

THE SCORE

We're 0-1 playing a PPV tilt against a stank team. I can't remember (and maybe I'm alone here) a less exciting home opener since the Blake days.

Let's kick their ass and hope they are more inspired than me while they do it. There is an actual big game next week and if nobody wants to get embarrassed it's time to get down to business.

Sooners 49 - Warhawks 17

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner