Bedlam

Both Nate and Mark Schlegel have told me separately that, "This team just isn't that good". They are right. They manage to survive in a world of survive and advance but they do so by playing to the level of the competition and consistently being their own worst nightmare. Today it's Bedlam in Stoolwater, a place where season's go to get spoiled.

Will it happen today?

OFFENSE

Well, I've come to the conclusion that Jalen Hurts is the football version of Russell Westbrook. He's a ball hog. He manages to be both hero and goat mostly because he dominates the ball. You live (and win) with him but god damn can he frustrate.

I'm frankly over him. He's dragging the offense with an inability to share the ball. There are weapons three deep at every position. And yet they run this RPO which is more of a RRO which is more of a Jalen-O. I'm also tired of his "post-game workout I piss excellence" shtick. Quit fumbling the fucking football.

Today he needs to (in this order) hang on to the ball when he runs, make a read or two, get rid of the ball quickly and spread the love. He needs to have zero turnovers but he damn sure better not have more than one and that better be an interception.

In spite of my gripes I am picking Hurts to be my OPOG. It's begrudging but he really needs to have his shit together today.

DEFENSE

This group seems to be playing pretty well again. They've been handed some shit sandwich situations and mostly acquitted themselves well. My nightmare is that Chuba Hubbard runs for 275 yards on 25 carries or some shit and The Mullet calls the kind of pass game to give whoever their shit brick QB is the easiest time possible.

The Sooners have to get off the field and they need to be seriously aggressive on third down. If they can bottle up Hubbard on first and second down and get the Cowboys in third and long maybe they can get their QB to shit down his trouser legs a few times.

This group also has a penchant for making a big play when they have to. They will need to again today because, again, my faith in Jalen Hurts not doing something inexcusably bone-headed is shaken to the core.

For my DPOG I'm going Kenneth Michael Murray. He needs to play smart in his gap assignments and not overrun everything. If he can do that and he can get about 10-15 tackles I think that's a great sign for the Sooners.

THE SCORE

It's going to be close and it could be ugly. It might be like a couple of prize fighters just throwing haymakers at each other. I do not believe, like the Oklahoman, that this will be low scoring. I expect a lot of big plays for both teams.

I do like the Sooners though surprise surprise.

Sooners 38, Cowboys 35

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Oklahoma State

The Sooners continue to survive each week, and hope to maintain their winning ways today in the Bedlam rivalry game. The Sooners still have a slim chance at the playoff, but honestly as much I would love for them to get in, they really have no business getting there. Regardless, it won’t matter if they don’t TCB against the cowboys who will undoubtedly be fired up. They boast the nations leading rusher in Chuba Hubbard. Can the Sooners slow him down today? Most likely not, but hopefully they score enough to win.

Offense

I’m not beating around the bush, I like CeeDee today to have a huge game and present a matchup issue that the Pokes just don’t have an answer for. I like him for two TDs today.

Defense

I like Kenneth Murray to rack up a shitload of tackles stopping Hubbard. Hopefully this limp dick defense can do enough today.

Score

This will most likely be a track meet. But I like the Sooners to scrape enough together defensively to hang on. OU wins it 51-48.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

Oklahoma Sooners versus TCU Horned Frogs

The Sooners certainly are not boring. At our big football watch party last week we were unabashedly calling for the benching of Jalen Hurts in the first half. He had taken my game plan (don't make dumb choices, turn the ball over) and executed it horribly. The defense, for their part, looked like doo-doo. Then, the second half. It was clinical PlayStation execution.

The season is still alive and means something here on senior day in Norman.

OFFENSE

Hopefully Jalen remembers the offense is at its best when all options are involved. They were forced by the unfortunate CeeDee Lamb injury to learn this in the second half last week. Under no circumstances is it necessary for him to carry the ball 30 times. Spread the love. Get rid of the ball quickly and decisively. His running should be the first option maybe 10 times.

It is in this vein that someone besides Jalen should be OPOG. I'm going out on a limb here and picking Austin Stogner. I will also pour one out for the brief, semi-illustrious career of Grant Calcaterra.

DEFENSE

Let's be very clear that the Sooners offense was the best defense before we go sucking each others popscicles about the performance of the D in the second half last week.

Now, when they had to, they certainly played well. Let's keep it going this week. The proverbial turnover monkey is off the proverbial back so maybe they keep it going today. The key is a plus two turnover differential.

Who gets the first one? I'm going with my DPOG and Country Music Legend Ronnie Perkins.

THE SCORE

I feel like this one is not going to be clinical. TCU has a history of coming to Norman and making things difficult. They are the eager spoiler today. They take the loss but make it interesting.

I'm going Sooners 31, Horned Frogs 21

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

TCU

What a finish last week. It was a roller coaster of emotions for me, specifically rage followed by disbelief. Nonetheless, they did what they couldn't do vs Kstate and I'll take that. Realistically, the Sooners likely are eliminated from the playoff at this point, but winning out is they only way they even remain in the conversation, so let's hope they can keep it going today vs TCU. It's a down year for the horned frogs, which I'm basing entirely on record. I've not seen as much as one second of Horned Frog football this year, and in keeping with my form, I know nothing about them whatsoever. Moreover, I'm not bothering to find out. On to the picks!

Offense

It was remarkable to see how different the offense was without CeeDee Lamb. Credit Baylor, they have a very solid defense that is bent on not allowing any homer plays. But also credit OU, after struggling in the first half (turnovers killed them), they adapted their game. In keeping with the baseball analogy, it was impressive to see them turn into a singles hitting team that methodically moved the ball down the field. It was also refreshing to see them keep their own defense on the sideline where they are unquestionably more effective. Today I'm outthinking myself again (and because I don't know if Lamb is playing, and I'm not bothering to find out) and going with Kennedy Brooks.

Defense

The final numbers against Baylor didn't look as horrid as they could have, mostly because Baylor had the ball for 46 seconds in the second half. The D did finally force turnovers (multiple!), which is the only reason they were able to come back. Make no mistake though, aside from that, they were garbage yet again. I'm going with Canadian Bacon, Neville Gallimore today.

Score

TCU comes in as 18 point dogs, I like the oddsmakers optimism but I, naturally, don't share it. Primarily, this is because the defense is ass. I think OU wins it, but 41-31. Keep it going.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner!

Oklahoma Sooners versus Baylor Bears

The only thing that matters from last week is the Sooners won. But.. the defense was horse shit. The tackling was vintage 2018. The Sooners, collectively, are big time in the hole when it comes to turnover margin (12-6).

And yet, with a win against undefeated Baylor, the Sooners are in position to retake the lead in the Big 12 and keep their slim playoff hopes alive.

OFFENSE

The last few weeks have felt a little bizarre. At times the Sooners fall in love with one area of the offense. They still score 40+. Plenty of points to allow a marginal defense to make things comfortable for you. Alas.

The Sooners have to protect the ball better. As noted, in a reasonable universe the Sooners should always be on the plus-side of turnover margin. This is not a reasonable universe. The Sooners simply have to win this phase of the game today. That means Jalen Hurts his best version of himself. He's my OPOG.

DEFENSE

Past needs to be past today, not prologue. These fellas need to put on their big boy pants and straighten their shit out. This is not an amazing Baylor offense. The Sooners need to start with better tackling. Do that and only that.

Then, maybe, they can get lucky. Intercept a ball that bounces off someone's hands. I've seen that five times this week across the NFL and college. What can't this happen for us? Why?

Anyhow, let's go Neville Gallimore today. My favorite player in a big one.

THE SCORE

I don't see how the Sooners don't get 38 if Hurts takes care of the ball. All the ball control in the world from Baylor can't prevent it.

I like the Sooners 38-35. Still no turnovers (sad face).

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Baylor

In what is the biggest game of this college Saturday (if the gameday location is your metric at least) the Sooners travel south to Waco to take on the unbeaten Baylor Bears. The Bears have had their share of close calls and escapes to remain unbeaten, and surprisingly they’re winning with defense in the big 12. Three weeks ago, that combination of factors would have left me pretty confident that the sooners would escape Waco with a win. However, after two epically Stoopsian performances the last two weeks, my confidence has notably waned. 

Offense

What was once an exercise in not picking Jalen Hurts, has shifted to an exercise in not picking CeeDee Lamb. The dude is just a stud. Great hands, great, route runner and a beast after the catch. So naturally I’m going to pick Hurts this week. I think the Baylor defense forces him to improvise with his legs quite a bit today, and he obliges with a huge performance on the ground as well as in the air. 

Defense

The defense is clearly no better than last year. The end. I’m picking Kenneth Murray. 

Score

Waco is going to be insane for this. This is their shot at seriously getting in the playoff conversation as an unbeaten. But the fool in my heart says the Sooners do enough today. Sooners 37 Bears 28. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner 

Oklahoma Sooners versus Iowa State

Well blurg derp derp double farts. The Sooners had it all out there in front of them. Now it's back to familiar territory where every game is must win and you'll also need some help. In any case it's on to Iowa State.

OFFENSE

Lincoln Riley can say that he's not concerned that Kansas State showed the world the blueprint for slowing down the Sooners and I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he himself can adjust. But Iowa State boasts a defensive guru head coach who I'm sure was happy for the help.

I hate to have the coolest of takes here but the Sooners are going to need to run the ball better and more. Six rushes last week makes no sense. If there's ever a knock on the offense it would be that sometimes the balance gets away from him in difficult situations.

So, today the Sooners need to stick with their game plan whatever it may be and just be cognizant of what they need to do to get first downs. Maybe work some swing passes into the mix. Those are effectively runs and can get Kennedy Brooks out into some space.

Today I'll pick Brooks for my OPOG.

DEFENSE

I only got to see one half of the game last week. So I'm not entirely sure how things looked. The Iowa State offense is more or less the same level of dynamism. Today we'll learn if last week was an aberration or not. If it is, the playoff is still an option. If today is rough with no turnovers it's eek city.

I've been shitting on Pat Fields all season so today I'll try to reverse jinx him.

THE SCORE

I like the Sooners here 38-21. The defense buttons it up and the offense stays on the field.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Iowa State

I am writing this in an even more half-hearted fashion than usual. That K-State game was nightmarishly similar to a stoopsian effort. Almost immediately after I praised the defense, they came out and looked like absolutely putrid wet shit. It was the most infuriating performance of the Riley era, at least for me. I had to shut it off. And frankly, most of the air has gone out of the season, at least for me. There is no chance they pass a one-loss LSU or Alabama, or any SEC team for that matter. Truthfully, I don't think they should either. It's very depressing. On the plus side, I no longer half to worry about ponying up big dollars for a championship game in my home city.

Offense

I am going with CeeDee Lamb today. I don't have the energy to get into a lot of why's, and really I haven't given it much thought. But, Lamb has easily been the most consistent player on this offense, and so I will go with him.

Defense

I'm tempted not to pick anyone, but I will concede that one horrific performance has not caused my spirits to plummet that far yet. I will pick Neville Gallimore, aka Canadian Bacon. Mostly because I like that nickname.

Score

I think the spread is something like 14.5 with OU has favorites. ISU is pesky, and this game would've given me more anxiety than KState did last week. But I think after a (season ruining) wake up call, the Sooners are ready coming off a bye. OU wins it, 41-25.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner