Bedlam

You couldn't ask for more in Stillwater today. The Sooners control their own destiny and, with a win, are in The Playoffs?! Should the Cowboys win they'll be pleading their case for the next two days for the playoffs. Even children understand this rivalry. My son and another kid playfully heckled each other at last night's Thunder game. For one day friends are enemies. Good times.

The best part about this game, besides what's at stake, is that each team has its full complement of players. Until Monday it seemed possible that the Sooners would be without Baker Mayfield, Semaje Perine and Joe Mixon. That's the equivalent of American Pharoah running without a leg or three. Mason Rudolph is evidently playing today for the Cowboys amidst rumors of a broken bone in his foot. By all accounts he's their "passer". 

Oklahoma is likely announcing a state of emergency but the weather, while miserable, doesn't look like it will be as bad as, say, TCU-Baylor from last night. 

OFFENSE

As mentioned, the big 3 are cleared to play. Had Baker not been cleared to play I would have rather seen Joe Mixon run Wildcat all night than Trevor Knight take the reigns. Holy smokes did he look awful last week. Being full strength portends nightmares for the Cowboys. They got exposed against Baylor. 

The Sooners will offer a steady does of the ground and pound while Mixon in (get it?) some play action deep routes to keep the Pokes honest. The Cowboys are going to see how well we can pick up a blitz. 

Today I'm leaning heavy on the guy who's gotten us here. Without Baker Mayfield who knows what our record would be. We certainly aren't in the playoff picture. We probably aren't getting mentioned outside of Oklahoma. He's got moxie, he understands what's at stake and there is no way this team lets up for one second today while he's able to play. 

DEFENSE

OSU has a quality offense. By now we've seen as much as we can to prepare for it. Unfortunately it's been everyone's B-team. However, the Sooners D has totally redeemed itself over the course of the season and this group is salty. There is nothing OSU has seen to prepare. Big advantage for the Sooners. 

The Cowboys are going to keep on trucking with their deep ball until we can stop it. We'll win some and lose some. Hopefully we can get our hands on some balls and turn them over a few times. That differential should be enough. 

My top three players on the D this year have been Steven Parker, Eric Motherfuckin Striker and Charles Walker. I'm picking my DPOG from those three and I'm choosing Steven Parker. He's been awesome and his help in the passing game is going to be huge. 

THE SCORE

This will be fun. One team is going to ruin the others dreams. You couldn't ask for more from two teams and fan bases that truly loathe one another. 

The Sooners are a team that's running downhill right now. This game is last jewel in their amazing November run. There is a revenge factor after last year. Bob Stoops had his worst game as coach. The Cowboys can't match what's about to come. 

Sooners 35 Cowboys 17

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Oklahoma State (aka Bedlam)

Stillwater, a tiny little butthole on the map of America. Known for a bar with the most delicious (and diarrhea inducing) cheese fries I've ever had, and a college football team built on one lunatic billionaires oil money. The Sooners travel a little ways down the road today and take on this football team with the highest of stakes at hand. OSU lost last week to Baylor, that takes a little of the glimmer off of this one in the national eye, but does nothing to diminish what OU has to play for. The Sooners magical run through November has us old guys reminiscing about Red October waaaaay back in 2000 (credit: Steve Mitchell). But the far away looks in our eyes will be quickly gouged out if the Sooners lay an egg today. In short, win and the Sooners are making the Big 12's first trip to the new college playoff with everything in front of them. Lose, and it's another second tier bowl game, dripping with the scraps of what might have been.

Offense

That game last Saturday was an absolute butthole destroyer. You couldn't have forced a single hydrogen atom out of my ass with a blow torch. It confirmed what no one ever had any doubts about, Trevor Knight is shit (read on, he won't be my OPG pick), and Samaje Perine is a man playing against boys. Basically, Baker Mayfield is the only hope OU has. Thankfully, at last check, he will play. The previous few sentences make it hard to not pick him as OPG. After all, the offense is a Chevy Corsica with corn syrup in the tank without him. I like Mayfield to account for 4 TD's today and cement himself as a top Heisman contender.

Defense

Oh boy, the defense. A game that should've been over at halftime forced my dramatic butthole sentence earlier after allowing a 3rd string TCU QB to get the Horned Frogs back in it. Granted, after the Pu Pu Platter that Knight served, they were on the field roughly 97% of the half, but still. OSU has never had trouble scoring, and they will definitely get theirs today. I think it all starts up front (like I always do), and I like Charles "Ass" Tapper to have another huge day. This guy went from possible UFA roster spot to mid round draft choice in the last 5 weeks. To summarize, he's been a terror. I like him for 2 sacks today and countless pressures

Score

This is for all of the marbles. After that texas game, who would have ever thought it possible? Not me, for one. Literally everything is still on the table, playoffs (playoffs?) or the whocares.com bowl. I'm feeling the former. OSU will score, the crowd will be apeshit, but the Mayfield and the defense will lead us to the promise land in a scorcher. Sooners take it 41-40. I've got two more pieces in me this season.

Boomer to the MOTHERFUCKIN Sooner

Oklahoma Sooners versus Baylor Bears

The Sooners have a big, big football game today as they head down to Waco, Texas to play the Baylor Bears. It's amazing how things change. Baylor has a shiny new football palace, they carry a number six ranking, they are the defending Big 12 co-champions and they operate the scariest offensive attack in college football. Oh, and they have also beaten the Sooners two straight times with the 2014 shellacking being particularly demoralizing. Sooners fans may never chase away the nightmare of watching Baylor throw quick outs repeatedly as they essentially laughed at the Sooner defense. It was one of the most embarrassing and frustrating situations I've ever seen unfold as a Sooner fan.

As my dad pointed out, this opener to a brutal stretch may also remind Sooner fans of a string of games way back in 1999. Instead of the Red October of Kansas State, Texas and Nebraska, the Sooners are looking at Baylor, TCU and Oklahoma State. Times change. And no big deal but if the Sooners win out they are in the college football playoff.

First things first, beat Baylor.

OFFENSE

The Sooner offense is rounding into form. Four straight games of 50 plus points. There's a nice balance of run and pass. Guys like Durron Neal and Mark Andrews are stressing defenses to cover more than Sterling Shepard. You can almost book 48 points out of these guys at this point.

I think they key with Baylor is going to be to continue with the hot starts and show them early that they have yet to see the likes of this offense outside of their own practices. I'm not necessarily worried about playing behind so much as they need to know what they're dealing with and their confidence needs to get shaken. Conversely, the earlier the Sooners can settle in and give Baker Mayfield some comfort in the pocket, the better off they will be.

To accomplish both of these things the Sooners will need to utilize all the skill on hand. In addition to Shepard and Semaje Perine they also need to get Joe Mixon extra touches. He seems to get 10-15 per game. He needs 15-20 today. And, as Nate pointed out last week, I have to tuck my boner into my waistband about Mark Andrews. Someone tell me why I shouldn't? The guy is a matchup nightmare. He's my dark horse super sleeper offensive pick of the week. Unleash the beast damnit.

DEFENSE

I mean what do you do against these guys? They average ∞ yards and it's pretty well split between the run and pass. Shock Linwood averages nearly eight yards per carry. Corey Coleman is on another level with 20 TD's and averaging 20 yards per catch.

It's a nightmare on paper and it will be a nightmare on the field. However, there are some glimmers of hope. Most notably the Sooners have the best defense in the Big 12. They hold teams at least two touchdowns below their average. With a freshman (albeit presumably wunderkind) quarterback this should hold true today. The Bears have seen nothing resembling the Sooner D so far this year.

Now, is the Sooner D vulnerable? For sure. But if the Sooners are firing on all cylinders then I think there's a real chance the Baylor offense gets rattled just a bit.

To rattle cages the Sooners have to pick a poison. I think the choice is take your chances covering Corey Coleman one on one with help over the top. If he goes for four scores and 200 yards so be it. If he's the only guy going off we win. Shut everything else down. Do not give any opportunities to run roughshod up the middle. Throw the kitchen sink at the young quarterback and give him blitzes from everywhere. The Bears have to get rattled.

In a game this yoooge I'm picking the big guy Eric Motherfuckin Striker. The defense is rounding into form a little bit and you could actually pick a few different guys here. The Charles's, Walker and Tapper, Dominique Alexander, Steven Parker. Hell, even either of the corners could turn the game with some picks.

THE SCORE

The biggest difference between these two teams are the defenses. If OU takes care of the ball on offense and the defense brings the kind of edge that, frankly, there is no excuse for not exhibiting after last year's de-pantsing, the Sooners win. The key word here is rattle. The atmosphere for this one will be electric. Everyone thinks the Baylor offense is unstoppable. The Sooners need to show they are also unstoppable on offense and they need to shake the confidence of the young quarterback and the Baylor faithful.

Bring your sniffing glue, your quaaludes and whatever else you need to get through it because it will fray the nerves but the Sooners will come through.

Sooners 45 - Bears 38

The real season starts... Now

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Baylor Bears

Whoa Doctor! This is a big one. As some of you may have heard, the Sooners travel down to the land of Branch Davidians for a massive tilt with implications to be felt from coast to coast. OK, really though, Baylor is good. They are unbeaten, they've (easily) beaten OU two times in a row (who'd have believed that 10 years ago?), and they lead the nation in scoring. Art Briles has certainly made the most of his Texas locale in luring top tier talent to Waco and maximizing that talent with an offensive system that racks up points on nearly everyone they play. The Sooners come in with a top ranked defense and an offense that has been doing a bit of scoring itself of late. Something has to give.

The national media has taken note as well. College Gameday is on hand, and Lee Corso will spread his beloved saliva all over the Baylor Campus as he clumsily pulls a stunt where he will either fire a (mercifully not loaded) shotgun or (hopefully) wrestle a live bear (...to his gruesome death). It's in primetime and ABC's top booth talent will be calling the game. Sooner nation is on high, to-do lists are wiped out early, chubby children in OU sweatpants eagerly shovel down fried chicken shapes drenched in ranch, all awaiting a drubbing of Baylor.  It's the biggest game for Sooner faithful in some time.

Baylor comes in starting a freshman Q. He put up prototypical Baylor numbers last week against KState. As I alluded to earlier, it's a system, and it works. Yes, they only put up 31, but this is more a result of windbreaker's minions plodding a ball control attack than a lack of Bear efficacy. But, what about that Sooner D? They've been very solid, but I fear it's opponent related as much as it is talent related. The front is solid, and it masks what I think is a shaky secondary. Baylor will absolutely score, and score often. Will Mayfield and Perine be able to do enough to match that pace? It looks to be a good one.

Offense

For all of the talk about Baylor and their high-flying offense, their D brings it as well. It will be a tough test for the offense. Mayfield is going to have to extend plays with his legs and do the same things that give our defense fits. But, that said, I think the run game is the key to winning this one. Their offense tends to score quickly, that means more time for their defense on the field. If OU can sustain drives, beat them up in the run game and wear them down, it might be enough to give them the edge in this one. I like Riley to lean heavily on Samaje Perine, and I like Perine to answer with a performance that will be talked about all week heading into TCU. Perine goes for 150+ and 2 scores. Boom.

Defense

Whew, this is where the rubber meets the proverbial road. OU absolutely has to get stops, particularly on 3rd down (hard hitting stuff here). I'm not sad that Seth Russell isn't playing in this one, too bad for the kid, but hey the Sooners need any edge they can get. The front has been excellent since the texas game. Their ability to get pressure and bottle up the run game will likely decide this game. The player I see stepping up in this one is Devante Bond. He's been a beast all season when healthy. I think he's flying all over the field tonight, coverage, penetration, and pressuring the Q. I think he's the difference maker and comes up with at least one sack off the edge.

Score

After losing to texas, this season felt hopeless. I all but bailed on the season, chalking it up to "same old Sooners" of the last several years. Since, OU has quietly done everything they needed to get back into the national conversation. Strangely, with Baylor, TCU and OSU coming up, they are still in the driver's seat for the conference (albeit with a steep road ahead) and if they can navigate their way through it unscathed, well...I just can't. None of what they've done matters if they take a dump tonight. They don't and the run starts today. Sooners win this one 38-35.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.

Oklahoma Sooners versus Iowa State

It's football time in Oklahoma. Before we get to X's and O's let's address some distraction. It was reported yesterday that Sooners Offensive Coordinator Lincoln Riley had interviewed for the North Texas Mean Green head coaching position. I was gobsmacked. Why? Why in the middle of the season? What's going on inside the locker room at OU?

Seriously, why would Riley be remotely interested enough to even take the phone call? This is one of the worst jobs in college football. Lincoln Riley is a "hot name" and a "rising star" in the coaching ranks. There are no less than a half dozen open or presumably open jobs already which include names like South Carolina, Virginia Tech and Miami. Riley may or may not be a candidate for them this year but likely would for similarly statured vacancies next year. Whoever takes these jobs could well be leaving an opening that would be better than UNT. Justin Fuente, for example, will be leaving Memphis for the best opening available. The Memphis job is way better than UNT and Memphis is a shit job.

Second, isn't there some protocol or boy's club agreement that you don't interview in the middle of a season? Don't you have to get permission from the head coach? If yes and yes then what the hell is going on in the coaches room at OU? It seems like the situation would need to be pretty dire for Bob Stoops to say yeah, Lincoln, you should probably take ANY phone call IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR FIRST SEASON (which, by the way, is going historically well). There are certainly no outward signs of a bad fit. There have been no rumblings though that's no surprise. Journos who wish to keep their press pass would be wise to keep their mouths shut around Norman.

I'm not sold on the idea of something being off because of the list of other names the article mentions. A&M's offensive coordinator. Either (or I suppose both) of TCU's offensive coordinators. It seems these coaching staffs would be at similar levels of disarray for these coaches to be taking calls also. Hard to believe that's the case.

It is possible Lincoln Riley could be incredibly stupid. Talking new jobs in the middle of season one of your new gig is poor form. Taking a look at the first thing that offers a little more money (relatively speaking) would mean he hasn't done much homework. Oklahoma coaches get at least a 100k raise every season. This would put Riley at the current UNT HC coaches salary level. He really should just know better.

It appears UNT is hoping to become the next Baylor and they are waiving a bunch of money around and someone is trying to make a story. There's a lot of smoke here though. Riley, for his part, has come out and denied that he is a candidate. That's no lie. He isn't a candidate for that job. He's a future candidate for a much better job and an offensive coordinator position at OU is a better career launch pad than the UNT HC gig (or it should be). Honestly, he's the kind of guy you'd put a "Head Coach in waiting" tag on if Stoops wanted to retire gracefully one of these days.

On to football.

The Sooners took care of bidny last week against a pathetic Kansas squad. The Sooners had a good intensity level and they avoided major injury. They need to do both those things this week but Iowa State will be a much better test before the backloaded gauntlet begins.

As Sooner fans are no doubt aware, Iowa State shutout Texas last week. Texas beat OU. Vis a vis Iowa State needs to be taken seriously.

OFFENSE

From what poison vile shall Iowa State drink? Stop the run or the pass? I think they load up on the run and the Sooners make them pay with rollouts and play action. Baker Mayfield will have a field day making easy throws to Joe Mixon, Dede Westbrook and Jarvis Baxter. What the hell, throw in some Sterling Shepard and Mark Andrews if you like. I'll take any of it. My pick for player of the game is Baker Mayfield. He gets to sit out the 4th quarter again.

DEFENSE

Interesting tidbit. Kansas State is the only team to run the OU, OSU, TCU and Baylor gauntlet. Scores: 0-55, 34-36, 45-52, 24-31. Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves here but there is reason for optimism.

Today, the boys need to stay disciplined and don't let their guards down. ISU plays hard all game long and you have to respect it. The cyclones are overmatched but if you go around patting you're own back the result is that ole' bullshit we all love so much.

I've been real pleased with Steven Parker of late so I'm picking him for my defensive player. The move to Safety has been great for him.He does something special today.

SCORE

Welp, I think this one will be mildly interesting but the Sooners, at home, will be too overwhelming. I like the boys 42-17 today.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

Iowa State

The Sooners return home this week after doing yeoman's work in dismantling a KU team who can succinctly be described as chilled urine. OU did everything that was expected of them, and in light of recent times, let's not discount that. This week the Cyclones of Iowa State come in to town, fresh off a win against texas. Fortunately, I don't expect the whole "they beat them and we didn't" thing to be much of a factor.

Since embarrassing themselves on their biggest stage (so far), against their biggest rival, the Sooners have proceeded to put up 160+ points over the last 3 games. The offense looks as oiled as a twink in a steam-room, and the D has been steady. Granted, this wasn't against a murderers row of opponents, but KState has given both Baylor and TCU all they wanted this year and OU made them look like Rockford Peaches.

Iowa State comes into this one with a freshman QB poised to start. They do have talent at the skill positions, yet I don't expect a dismantling like we've seen in recent weeks. Let's not forget ISU played a good Iowa team very tough, and their 3-5 record belies their overall talent level. They have enough athleticism to give OU some problems on both sides of the ball. That said, I can't get past the frosh running the show for them, and I think the Sooner offense keeps rolling at home. Speaking of...(Segue, The Magazine!, is doing a feature piece on this last sentence next month, check your news-stands)

Offense

After hitting a home-run with a Sterling Shepard pick last week, I look to make 1 in a row, 2. To be fair, it would've been more of a challenge to pick a bust last week, but if anyone could accomplish that, it's me. This week I'm going to go with another receiver. The guy that is most likely to get a rub & tug from Mitch, Mark Andrews. Honestly, he's a mismatch for anyone with his size and speed. I hope that Lincoln Riley starts to utilize this more. I think today he goes for a touchdown and at least one other big play.

Defense

Last week would've been the one to go with Charles "Ass" Tapper. He had a monster game. With the freshman QB going for Iowa State, I like a D-Lineman to step up again and have a big game. I like Charles Walker to "bring it" today. I think he gets good push up the middle and has at least 1 sack.

Score

As I mentioned before, I just don't foresee a complete fisting (partial fisting? very weird) again this week. Iowa State has talent, this is the last "tune up" before the heart of the conference slate and the Sooners could be looking ahead accordingly. But, I don't think Iowa State has enough on the road to take this one. The Sooners struggle early but cruise late, 45-24.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner



PS: I'd be remiss not to mention the Kansas City Royals. I'm a lifelong fan, and a diehard through decades of the leanest of times. They completed an improbable (and looking just a few years back, seemingly impossible) run of dominance over the last couple of seasons with their first World Series title since Reagan started his second term. It's an odd feeling, and one made all the more satisfying because of the years of complete ineptitude on and off the field. It's probably the sweetest victory of my adult fandom, and one I won't soon forget. Now, back to your regularly schedule football bullshit...