Welcome back Steamroller faithful, we are back again for another season filled with flawlessly accurate predictions, clinical exploits of mastery over the written word, and rapist wit. Much ballyhoo is being directed at the 2014 incarnation of Bobby Stoops' squad. I for one am excited, and it seems that 2 years after hitting the reset button, Mikey has started to do Mike Stoops things that everyone clamored for prior to his re-hiring. There is real talent at nearly every position, and while the likes of Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin will certainly be missed, the front 7 give me the same feeling I had when I opened my first Playboy as a youth and feasted my eyes on hip-to-hip beav. Trevor Knight, who are ye really? I hope he comes back as the guy everyone remembers and not the guy everyone seems to have forgotten.
Mitch did a masterful job of covering the awards, and as the spoilers are out I see little reason to rehash them, but suffice it to say that Eric Motherfuckin Striker should have you (palm up/arm sweep at Sooner Nation) excited. I am instead taking the liberty of creating a few new awards for this season.
The TC Bread Award
Several years ago, I was looking through a player list for the Sooners roster and came across a player named TC Bread. Without question, this is the funniest name in the history of Sooner football. I never heard of this player again. To my knowledge, he never saw the field. Hell, he could have been a made up name by someone at the paper (side note: I once did this for a Sooners game. As a bright-eyed freshman I was asked to type up the roster list for the Nebraska game to be distributed in the press box during the game. Naturally, I put my own name, accurate height and weight, on the roster along with some other made up dudes, fun). Anyway, this year it's Jordan Smallwood.
Player Least Likely to Get Girls Based Solely On His Name
Poor Jordan Smallwood.
Best Silhouette
Almost went for a chiseled athlete but decided instead to go for OC Josh Heupel instead. His doughy pelican neck creeps ever so slightly over his half-buttoned coaches polo while his gut struggles to gain freedom from below. This leads me to believe that a silhouette of his would look like a humorous humpty-dumpty. I would buy this from Fathead.
Scariest in a Shower Situation
This one goes to the entire defensive line roster. They line up in two lines, shoulder to shoulder, across from one another, gauntlet style. Freshman have to run between the two lines getting into and out of the shower. I think this would feel a lot like running through one of those cages for RB's with the pylons on springs that slap your upper body and teach holding onto the football. I'm not on drugs.
Mat McCoy Memorial Gas Rag?
This one is actually legit, and unlike Old Steady I sincerely hope this position isn't filled. It, sadly, had been filled rather competently by Gabe Lynn the last couple of seasons. I hope no one steps into this role this year. Any DB with a penchant for getting burned with ease and alacrity teeters on the cusp of being dubbed Gas Rag. This is less than ideal.
Louisiana Tech
I suppose we should discuss this adversary. The line I most recently saw was OU giving 35. While I whole heartedly agree that the Sooners will win this game, I would put my money on LaTech with that kind of line. I'm just not confident enough in Trevor Knight et al, and even more Josh Heupel, that I think we can put up 40 points on these guys (though a shutout isn't out of the question). I think our defense is going to great, and while OU has question marks it has them in the right places. I'm firmly in the camp that every team looks better with good line play. A good offensive and defensive line will make everyone else on that respective side of the ball look better. Conversely, great skill players look bad if the line is getting fisted all day. Offensively, we have little experience returning at WR, RB and frankly QB (in spite of the Sugar Bowl performance), but up front we return a ton of veterans. Defensively, the Sooners might actually have 2 full defensive lines worthy of starting, there is that much depth. Yes, losing Frank Shannon hurts. A lot. But as Dominique Alexander aptly demonstrated (what a beast!), some times a star going down (RIP Corey Nelson) paves the way for an even better player to step up. Hopefully Jordan Evans does something similar.
Offense
I'd like to go Trevor Knight, I really would. I hope as much as anyone that he is the world-beater we saw in the Alabama game. But, until I see it consistently, I'm not ready to bestow anything as prestigious as this blogs pre-game OPG yet. I'm going against the grain a bit. I think Keith Ford comes in and makes little brown underwear streaks of this defense at LaTech. I like him to break out in a big way, at least one touch and 100+ on the ground.
Defense
I really feel inspired by Dominique Alexander (my current front-runner for Old Steady). He makes a ton of tackles and by his own assessment, he's no longer "thinking out there", just reacting and making plays. That's scary. But, in spite of all of this fluffing I'm doing, I'm going with Eric Motherfuckin' Striker. I feel like Mikey is going to do some good things with him this year, and we will see him in the backfield sodomizing teams in obscene ways. I think he separates a QB from the football once today, and makes big plays all evening.
Score
Ideally Trevor Knight and the boys will be sipping gatorade and wearing awkward unbroken-in hats by midway through the 3rd quarter. However as I said, I think the Sooners control this one, though maybe not to the tune of a 35 point win, but close. I think the offense shakes off rust early, and gets in a groove as things go on. The defense? Well, I think it will make a long day for Skip Holtz and co. Sooners win this one in front of a PPV TV audience of dozens, 35-3.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.
It's good to be back.
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Friday, August 29, 2014
Your 2014-2015 Oklahoma Sooners
 |
| Eric MF Striker |
It’s here you guys. Let’s get this party started. Can the Sooners get a seat at the playoff table? Can they keep me from questioning my fanhood before the Iowa State game? Are we who we think we are?
Here now some preseason awards, prognostications and the Louisiana Tech pre gamer.
MF’er
The MF’er is one of the cornerstones of this blog and the Sooner tradition. No higher preseason honor can be bestowed. Fuck the Herbies.
The 2014-2015 MF’er is Eric MF Striker. Striker’s emergence in 2013 had Sooner fans doing double takes as they saw visions of former Sooner greats such as Roy Williams and Brandon Everage. Striker is a guy who runs around like his hair is on fire and who can make an impact from anywhere he lines up. He’s a brute and slobberknocker on the blitz. He’s going to give opposing offenses fits and offer Mikey Stoops et al some nice flexibility.
While Striker was the No. 1 choice on all ballots of eligible voters there are some other intriguing choices. Jordan Phillips, Geneo Grissom, Dominique Alexander, Quinton Hayes, Julian Wilson and even Zach Sanchez got some consideration. Frank Shannon would be in the mix too if he didn’t run afoul of the law.
It’s the deepest defensive talent pool in years, a development that should moisten the thighs of many a coed.
Old Steady
Old Steady is an award named after former Sooner RB Chris Brown. Brown was pretty unspectacular for the majority of his career but if you handed him the football you got three yards every single time. No fumbles, no dancing in the backfield, no one-on-one situations with safeties. Just a predictable modest result.
We don’t know enough about anyone on this incarnation of the Sooners offense to say, “That’s Old Steady”. One could argue Keith Ford but how long is his leash after all his fumbling “issues” one year ago? None of the other RB’s are proven. Dimitri Flowers seems to be the heir apparent to Trey Millard but he’s not even starting.
So, until someone proves themselves there is no Old Steady. I think this is becoming it’s own tradition.
Things I’m excited about
The D
Man, if this group had Frank Shannon it would be downright scary. It still should be a menace. Jordan Phillips is back after a promising start to the season that led many to believe he could be the next great (long missing) anchor of the d-line. Throw in Chuka Ndulue, Charles “Ass” Tapper, Grissom, Alexander, Striker, Sanchez, Hays and the much ballyhooed triumverant of Ahmad Thomas, Hatari Byrd and Steven Parker and, cripes, there are some ballplayers over here.
The Run Game
This could make some people nervous because this group is short on experience. But I’m making lemonade here and telling you that, contrary to popular opinion, running back is not the hardest position to fill on a football team. Keith Ford has shown flashes of beast mode already. Coaches seem to hold Alex Ross in similar esteem and players rave about the practice work of the difficult to pronounce Samaj Perine. Some version of this group is going to pick yardage up in chunks. Hey...No worries!
Michiah Quick
I don’t spend my offseason with my hands down my sweatpants reading Rivals and Scout so pardon my surprise at seeing this true freshman's name not once, not twice but thrice on the depth chart. Apparently he was the #7 athlete in the country coming out of high school. It looks like this fella Quick, along with Sterling Sheperd, LaColtan Bester and Durron Neal are going to be ratcheting up the pressure on defenses to “cover space”. Now watch as he sits on the sidelines before burning his redshirt against Kansas.
Things I’m Nervous About
Was Trevor Knight’s Sugar Bowl Performance a Fluke?
History is a fickle mistress. Prior to his breakout performance against Bama, Knight had been benched and shown a poor grasp for the forward pass. Not only did one game erase that from the minds of Sooner faithful but it’s also landed him on every major awards watch list including the Heisman Trophy ™. Hey, I want the guy to succeed too but he has plenty of room for improvement. The encouraging thing about Knight is he appears to be a gamer. His best games were his first career start and Bama.
Was Josh Heupel’s Job Saving Sugar Bowl Performance a Fluke?
I wrote this about Josh Heupel after the Baylor game last year.
Josh Heupel is not fighting for his job at OU. He's auditioning for a QB coaching gig at Appalachian State at best. The Oklahoman trotted out Jenni Carlson for a piece asking if it's time for a change in play caller only to have Berry Trammel write an article about how Bobby prefers "Stability" versus "Experimentation”.
Again, history is a fickle mistress. The Sooners offense last year was historically abysmal most of the season. The players and staff would publicly say they weren’t surprised about what they did against Alabama but even they had to have been shocked after being so inept up to that point. The Sooners played three quarterbacks out of desperation in the bedlam game.
I am very cautiously optimistic that Josh Heupel retained what he learned and is now prepared to use all his weapons to their full advantage. If he does, the offense could be lethal. If he doesn’t then Jay Norvell will get his chance. Book it. Bob is learning to make changes to stay ahead of the game.
Are New Uniforms a Good Idea?
No. But I’m a surly, aging sonofabitch. Whatever the football team needs to do to continue luring top 17 year old talent to Norman to win football games is fine with me.
On To Louisiana Tech
Skip Holtz is the head coach and Tim Rattay is also on the staff so I hate them already. There is no good reason why the Techsters, or whatever they call themselves, shouldn’t just pick up their asskicking and a check and head on home. But the memories of TCU home openers loom large so the Sooners would be best advised to take this one quite seriously.
Offense
There are no shortage of things to watch for on this side of the ball. Will the real Trevor Knight please stand up? Who wants the bulk of the carries? Who will be TKnight’s safety blanket? How good can this O-Line be if it stays healthy?
I’m going to put my unsullied reputation on the line here and go all in on the Trevor Knight bandwagon week 1. He really needs to come right out and show that he has a firm grasp on this offense and prove that having the Belldozer take practice snaps at QB was the dumbest fucking idea of all time.
Defense
Can’t go with anyone besides newly minted MFer, Eric “Ted” Striker here. I think this defense is filled with baby eaters and they go PlayStation D this week. Man I’m pumped to watch these guys this year.
Score
42-7. No screwing around. The Sooners score in all phases and get the 2014-2015 campaign kicked off in a great way. Lots of baby making in Norman after this one.
Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner!
Notes about Notes from my Notebook
If I told you there was a Sooner named Jack Steed from DeSoto Texas and that Jack Steed was 6’2” and 200+ pounds, what position do you think the would play? The answer is Punter.
On the roster page of soonersports.com there is a little ear icon (to help with pronunciation) next to Josiah St. John but not one for Michiah Quick.
Here now some preseason awards, prognostications and the Louisiana Tech pre gamer.
MF’er
The MF’er is one of the cornerstones of this blog and the Sooner tradition. No higher preseason honor can be bestowed. Fuck the Herbies.
The 2014-2015 MF’er is Eric MF Striker. Striker’s emergence in 2013 had Sooner fans doing double takes as they saw visions of former Sooner greats such as Roy Williams and Brandon Everage. Striker is a guy who runs around like his hair is on fire and who can make an impact from anywhere he lines up. He’s a brute and slobberknocker on the blitz. He’s going to give opposing offenses fits and offer Mikey Stoops et al some nice flexibility.
While Striker was the No. 1 choice on all ballots of eligible voters there are some other intriguing choices. Jordan Phillips, Geneo Grissom, Dominique Alexander, Quinton Hayes, Julian Wilson and even Zach Sanchez got some consideration. Frank Shannon would be in the mix too if he didn’t run afoul of the law.
It’s the deepest defensive talent pool in years, a development that should moisten the thighs of many a coed.
Old Steady
Old Steady is an award named after former Sooner RB Chris Brown. Brown was pretty unspectacular for the majority of his career but if you handed him the football you got three yards every single time. No fumbles, no dancing in the backfield, no one-on-one situations with safeties. Just a predictable modest result.
We don’t know enough about anyone on this incarnation of the Sooners offense to say, “That’s Old Steady”. One could argue Keith Ford but how long is his leash after all his fumbling “issues” one year ago? None of the other RB’s are proven. Dimitri Flowers seems to be the heir apparent to Trey Millard but he’s not even starting.
So, until someone proves themselves there is no Old Steady. I think this is becoming it’s own tradition.
Things I’m excited about
The D
Man, if this group had Frank Shannon it would be downright scary. It still should be a menace. Jordan Phillips is back after a promising start to the season that led many to believe he could be the next great (long missing) anchor of the d-line. Throw in Chuka Ndulue, Charles “Ass” Tapper, Grissom, Alexander, Striker, Sanchez, Hays and the much ballyhooed triumverant of Ahmad Thomas, Hatari Byrd and Steven Parker and, cripes, there are some ballplayers over here.
The Run Game
This could make some people nervous because this group is short on experience. But I’m making lemonade here and telling you that, contrary to popular opinion, running back is not the hardest position to fill on a football team. Keith Ford has shown flashes of beast mode already. Coaches seem to hold Alex Ross in similar esteem and players rave about the practice work of the difficult to pronounce Samaj Perine. Some version of this group is going to pick yardage up in chunks. Hey...No worries!
Michiah Quick
I don’t spend my offseason with my hands down my sweatpants reading Rivals and Scout so pardon my surprise at seeing this true freshman's name not once, not twice but thrice on the depth chart. Apparently he was the #7 athlete in the country coming out of high school. It looks like this fella Quick, along with Sterling Sheperd, LaColtan Bester and Durron Neal are going to be ratcheting up the pressure on defenses to “cover space”. Now watch as he sits on the sidelines before burning his redshirt against Kansas.
Things I’m Nervous About
Was Trevor Knight’s Sugar Bowl Performance a Fluke?
History is a fickle mistress. Prior to his breakout performance against Bama, Knight had been benched and shown a poor grasp for the forward pass. Not only did one game erase that from the minds of Sooner faithful but it’s also landed him on every major awards watch list including the Heisman Trophy ™. Hey, I want the guy to succeed too but he has plenty of room for improvement. The encouraging thing about Knight is he appears to be a gamer. His best games were his first career start and Bama.
Was Josh Heupel’s Job Saving Sugar Bowl Performance a Fluke?
I wrote this about Josh Heupel after the Baylor game last year.
Josh Heupel is not fighting for his job at OU. He's auditioning for a QB coaching gig at Appalachian State at best. The Oklahoman trotted out Jenni Carlson for a piece asking if it's time for a change in play caller only to have Berry Trammel write an article about how Bobby prefers "Stability" versus "Experimentation”.
Again, history is a fickle mistress. The Sooners offense last year was historically abysmal most of the season. The players and staff would publicly say they weren’t surprised about what they did against Alabama but even they had to have been shocked after being so inept up to that point. The Sooners played three quarterbacks out of desperation in the bedlam game.
I am very cautiously optimistic that Josh Heupel retained what he learned and is now prepared to use all his weapons to their full advantage. If he does, the offense could be lethal. If he doesn’t then Jay Norvell will get his chance. Book it. Bob is learning to make changes to stay ahead of the game.
Are New Uniforms a Good Idea?
No. But I’m a surly, aging sonofabitch. Whatever the football team needs to do to continue luring top 17 year old talent to Norman to win football games is fine with me.
On To Louisiana Tech
Skip Holtz is the head coach and Tim Rattay is also on the staff so I hate them already. There is no good reason why the Techsters, or whatever they call themselves, shouldn’t just pick up their asskicking and a check and head on home. But the memories of TCU home openers loom large so the Sooners would be best advised to take this one quite seriously.
Offense
There are no shortage of things to watch for on this side of the ball. Will the real Trevor Knight please stand up? Who wants the bulk of the carries? Who will be TKnight’s safety blanket? How good can this O-Line be if it stays healthy?
I’m going to put my unsullied reputation on the line here and go all in on the Trevor Knight bandwagon week 1. He really needs to come right out and show that he has a firm grasp on this offense and prove that having the Belldozer take practice snaps at QB was the dumbest fucking idea of all time.
Defense
Can’t go with anyone besides newly minted MFer, Eric “Ted” Striker here. I think this defense is filled with baby eaters and they go PlayStation D this week. Man I’m pumped to watch these guys this year.
Score
42-7. No screwing around. The Sooners score in all phases and get the 2014-2015 campaign kicked off in a great way. Lots of baby making in Norman after this one.
Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner!
Notes about Notes from my Notebook
If I told you there was a Sooner named Jack Steed from DeSoto Texas and that Jack Steed was 6’2” and 200+ pounds, what position do you think the would play? The answer is Punter.
On the roster page of soonersports.com there is a little ear icon (to help with pronunciation) next to Josiah St. John but not one for Michiah Quick.
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