Bedlam

On paper this one could be a complete fisting. OSU is riding high after the Baylor win and the Sooners, while close, still aren't completely sure what they bring to the table any given week. Here's what I'm hoping has happened. The Sooners have rested, healed and improved after their most complete win of the season. They've put together an offensive gameplan that takes advantage of what they do well. Hopefully the Cowboys have come back to earth a little bit. It's hard to imagine them putting together another game like Baylor. Maybe they are even a smidge overconfident. This is a team that lost to West Virginia and I don't give a damn who was or was not on the field for them at the time.

This game is almost the same scenario as OU-Baylor. On the road against a team that appears unstoppable. OU was in that one for a while. The D played lights out and the O flat sucked. Same thing could happen here but I don't think it will.

OFFENSE

The re-insertion of Trevor Knight has done "wonders" for the offense. Rather than second guess why he was ever pulled (he stunk) or why it took so long to put him back in (Bell had to stink worse), let's just be thankful that he's in there and the offense has the closest thing to an identity as they can hope to muster this year.

It's run baby run now and that somewhat negates the Cowboy's secondary, arguably their strength. If the run game can be effective it also keeps the Cowboys off the field and nothing need be said about the benefits of that.

I'm going DD Williams here. I kid I kid. It has to be Trevor Knight. There is legit pressure on him to do well. He has to take care of the ball and make plays. Even if the run-game is the focal point he'll probably need to find more than four receivers though. Man, wouldn't it be nice if a football team had a big target? The kind of guy who can block one play and streak across the field underneath the D or settle in a hole in the zone as a secondary receiver/safety valve the next? What would you call that position if it existed? Seems like that would help a guy like ol' Trevor.

DEFENSE

Same shit, different day here. They need some help from the offense and they have to be big on 3rd down. They can't give the Pokes first downs by penalty.

OSU will have some razzle dazzle and they'll score and score and score. If the Sooners bring their A-Game on D though they can be in this thing.

I've thought long and hard about this and I'm going with Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin. His career is winding down and he'll want to win his final bedlam. No point trying to pick cute. I know he's dinged up with a "shoulder" but he'll leave that damn thing laying lifeless and bloody on the field if need be.

THE SCORE

What? Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

Seriously. We have a chance here to wreck some fucking Poke dreams. We could see icicle tears on coed faces. By god there is something to play for and it's called stomping little brothers dick in the dirt.

We play good football and both sides of the ball (longshot) we can beat these guys. We will play good football on both sides of the ball and we will beat these guys.

OU 27 OSU 17

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Bedlam

Good Saturday to you Sooners fans. I am writing this post from Vietnam where the wife and I have been vacationing for the past two weeks. It's a beautiful place to visit with great food if you're interested. However, I've been calling everyone I meet Charlie and am repeatedly met with blank looks. I've paid little attention to the sporting world, but I'm pretty sure I have all of the evidence I need from the season to know what is going to happen in this one. A few weeks ago our beloved Sooners went on the road against an undefeated Baylor squad. We hung tough for a quarter and a half or so and then proceeded to get shat on in nearly every phase of the game. This same Baylor team recently got punished in embarrassing fashion by the very O-State Cowboys we stand to face. I'm not a huge believer in this who-beat-who transferring from week to week, so I'm hopeful here if not doubtful. It will take our best game of the season to avoid a repeat of 2011.

Offense

Once again I'm trying to think of what to do here and am not coming up with much. I did read that Keith Ford has a chance to see the field again this week. I like the strategy of burning a year of eligibility for 20 snaps on the season. I'm doubtful he'll do enough to garner an MVP worthy performance, at least not by this blog's lofty standards. I'm going to go out on a limb here and go with Trevor Knight. I realize this basically condemns him to a terrible game but if I'm right then I think we hang around in this one. He's going to have to create more with his legs and hit a few shots down field. Otherwise, it's going to be a long day for this soft turd of an offense.

Defense

Another crapshoot here. Though I did like Dominique Alexander's play last week when Mitch and I both picked him. I think our best hope defensively is getting good pressure up front. If Chelf has all day to throw, our DB's will be putting on a live action performance of the hit Broadway musical "Smeared Britches". So I'm going with Chaz Ass Tapper today. We need him to be a force and I feel that he will come through.

Score

I'll be on a plane when this one plays out, a quick 26 hour jaunt all told. So I'll be blissfully ignorant of the outcome for a while. But let's suffice it to say that this has me awfully nervous. Like having-terrible-diarrhea-and-doing-nude-jumping-jacks-on-white-carpet nervous. As much as I hate to say it, we are the inferior team in this one. That's hard to write down. But, as is always the case this game tends to play closer than it should when one team is clearly better. I think OU hangs around, gets some big plays on special teams with Roy and Jalen, and the defense plays a complete game. With those things in mind, a couple of turnovers going our way and if you squint and tilt your head just right, you can see an OU win. It's not much to hang your hat on but it's enough and that's what the Sooners have today, enough. OU pulls out a squeaker here and wins it 31-30.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

Kansas State

Normally this is the time of year where my sphincter is clinched tight enough to snap a railroad tie, but with 2 marks on the loss side of the Sooners ledger, my anxiety is nearly nonexistent. Yes, I want to win badly, no I don't care if we're in the Beef O'Brady's bowl or the Meineke Car Care bowl. Regardless of a win or loss we'll be facing off sometime in the no-man's-land between Christmas and New Year's where most people could give a shit about who's playing in random bowl game x. Nonetheless, I would very much enjoy beating Kansas State on the road. Bill Snyder no doubt has a good gameplan for us. He's likely been connecting liver spots on his chest with a sharpie, diagraming plays on the creases of his paper-like antique skin. Going back to the brutal Big 12 championship loss in '03, he always seems to have a good recipe for us. Whether or not that means a win today will be seen, but with our hopes flapping on the noodle right arm of Trevor Adolphis Knight, things appear bleak. Not to mention we are upon yet another mystery suspension of two key players, which always helps.

Offense

Without Damien Williams, this narrows down our options at RB for once. Though, I'm confident if I picked an RB I'd manage to go with the wrong one. As such, I will be picking a WR today. "Fucking idiot", might be what just entered your head(s), and rightfully so. Knight has been pretty fucking terrible at passing all year. So why a WR? Because I've been nothing if not epically consistent at naming an MVP and having that player completely disappear for the week. So I'm trying to use my powers for good, not evil this week. I basically hit an upper deck home run with Sterling Shepard pick last week (DNP), so I'm riding that pony all the way again. I'm reasonably certain he's at least cleared to see the field, but am positive that I'm too lazy to fact check that at this point. So it's Sterling Shepard with fingers crossed he plays and does something meaningfully positive for the Sooners.

Defense

I'm not really sure what KState does offensively, or what they do well. But if I know The Ghosts of Montgomery Burns at all, I'd bet they run the ball early and often. So, I'm going LB today. I'm going in the way of the frosh, Dominique Alexander. He's honestly been pretty damn solid all year. The future looks bright for the chap and I think that he's going to be quite solid today against the purple nurples.

Score

I don't feel good about this game at all. These guys always play us tough, and the fact that it's on the road doesn't help anything at all. However, I'm hopeful some revenge will be on our minds. Not to mention we've had a little extra time to prepare for them. I like the Sooners today in a slugfest, 17-10. Let's get these rotten bitches.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

K-State

We're 11 games into the schedule now and, as of this writing (3 hours to kick), there's no official word as to who the Oklahoma Sooners starting quarterback will be. The presumptive starter is Trevor Knight and why not? He was at the reigns as the ground game stampeded over the loins of Iowa State last week.

Regrettably, the Sooners cannot play Iowa State every week. The purple windbreaker and white mock turtleneck of the legendary Bill Snyder awaits and there's trouble ahead. The Sooners can run the ball well. Trevor Knight especially has struggled mixing the forward pass into the gameplan. The Wildcats are the best in the league at stopping the run.

I'm not sure our offense will be on the field much anyway. Anyone who's watched 2 quarters of the Sooners this year realizes their defense has a knack for keeping themselves on the field what with offsides penalties and being fairly terrible on 3rd down.

In short, I'm expecting the worst and hoping for the best.

OFFENSE

Based on what you've just read, let's just say the odds of this being Lacoltan Bester's breakout game are not good.

Obviously the Sooners need to go meat and potatoes here. Pound the ball and don't get cute for chrissakes. Just once this year I'd like to see them establish the power run game before it's too late and, God forbid, establish their identity early.

It's just unfortunate that K-State is best at stopping the run and their weakness appears to be covering the pass.

So, who to pick? For old times sake I'll go DD Williams (kiss of death). He's been coming on the last couple weeks. In other news will there be a Keith Ford sighting? Did you know that Nate and I both picked Sterling Shepherd last week and he didn't play due to concussion? We're pretty good prognosticators here.

DEFENSE

There's a lot to like here. This unit is coming on and against a team like K-State I expect some big hits and guys flying around.

Here are some bright spots from what's left of this unit after injury: Charles Ass Tapper, Geneo Grissom on occasion, All the Linebackers, Eric "Ted" Striker, Quinton Hayes, Zach Sanchez (sometimes).

From this unit today I'll go Dominique Alexander. He's been steady but he's due to have a key positive impact. I actually feel pretty good about this pick.

THE SCORE

On paper, this seems like a low scoring affair. But, I'm going to steal a page from Navin's playbook and say this will be a little higher scoring than people think.

I'll go OU 34 K-State 31

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Iowa State

As many of us suspected, last week's game was a drubbing. OU was outmatched in nearly every phase. Most notably our offense failed to do much of anything at all. Later I read some ridiculousness about how Baylor was slanting on the defensive line and that was why they couldn't get anything going. The one late drive where OU marched down and scored was the only one where Baylor didn't "slant" up front. So this shit is what completely baffled us. No one at all on the coaching staff was able to see this and adjust? My suspicion is Briles et al were equally baffled that this one wrinkle was 1) so devastatingly effective and 2)  no adjustments were made throughout the entire game. If this is all true, then that is really embarrassing for the OU staff. Let's not even get into the fact that we were unable to score from the 1 yard line. Our defense played quite well, that is until they were asked to stay on the field for 90% of the game. Alas, the natives appear to be restless as Heupel is nearly certainly going to be ridden out of town on a rail, and the sooner the better I say.

I, predictably, know almost nothing about Iowa State. I tried hard (not really) to come up with something creative and entertaining to open with about their team. I'm just not feeling terribly inspired with the Sooner football program of late. I hate to say it's wearing me down because I don't think that's exactly true, but it gets tough to draw inspiration from the uninspired I guess. This is in Norman today, so it should be a W for our boys in Crimson. I've learned, though, that nothing is to be taken for granted anymore, so hopefully we can play solid D and do enough on offense to win this one.

Offense

I've officially crossed over into the realm of disliking the Belldozer era, and I'm really not sure it's even his fault. He seems to know his limitations, yet he's consistently asked to do things outside of them. Sadly, that's just one of many problems with our offense (albeit a large one). All of that said, I'm saying fuck you to any sort of logic. After all, it's gotten me nowhere this year in terms of coming close to picking one of these right. I'm going with Sterling Shepard. He's the closest thing to a favorite target of Bell's. He's also damn fun to watch after the catch. I like him to do something great today. That great thing might be hooking up with two girls at the same time after the game tonight, but whatever, I'll take it.

Defense

I think the defense has been showing some promise. They're often asked to do too much insomuch as they are on the field waaaaay too long. However, they often start really well. I'm hopeful that Mike has the guys pointed in the right direction and our D is slowly returning to it's past dominance. Yes, I'm aware how fucking stupid I sound on the heels of giving up 42 or whatever to Baylor. I still think there is a lot of promise on that side of the ball, and we seem to not be doing as much of the dumb shit we had been in recent years. Today I like Eric "Ted" Striker (well played Mitch, it's official now). I think Ted is in the backfield a lot, as he is wont to do. He's a great blitzer and the OT's we see generally can't match his speed on the edge. I like some big stops from him today. Side note: I'm tired of Gabe Lynn acting like he's Ronnie Fucking Lott back there. Dear Gabe, you still fucking suck. You miss far too many tackles and you still get burned deep. Yes, you're embarrassing skills are better hidden at Safety than they were at Corner, but make no mistake, you are shit. You are Gas Rag for a reason. Please graduate or expire your eligibility soon. Thanks, --the guys at Steamroller.

Score

I don't know much about Iowa State, but I know we've embarrassed them enough in past seasons that they are "up" for this chance to beat a down Sooner club. So we'll get their best shot. I'm glad this is at home. I think we'll be able to handle them for the most part. I like the Sooners today, I really do. OU 27 Iowa State 17.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.

OU - Iowa State

I still can't believe that, of all things, the Sooner D showed up against Baylor only to get completely let down by the offense. This is a train run off the rails. Two years ago was the start of wholesale changes to the defense. This offseason it's the start of wholesale changes to the offense. Book it.

Josh Heupel is not fighting for his job at OU. He's auditioning for a QB coaching gig at Appalachian State at best. The Oklahoman trotted out Jenni Carlson for a piece asking if it's time for a change in play caller only to have Berry Trammel write an article about how Bobby prefers "Stability" versus "Experimentation".

Let's talk about that. Stability implies consistency, vision, continuity. In this sense, experimentation implies sweeping changes including but not limited to a change in playcaller and personnel. But that's all a red herring. It's really stubborness and predicability at OU these days.

Here's stability at OU against Baylor:

4 conventional run plays in the first 3 drives against Baylor (OU's strength)
Reverses left and right, QB runs around the end, nothing testing the middle
Every "hurry up" play is a HB dive off right tackle
Sub Trevor Knight for The Belldozer to run The Belldozer. Then bring The Belldozer back in to run The Belldozer.

Instead of wholesale changes (dba Experimentation) how about this:

Huddle up. You don't run a hurry up in any sense of the word so just huddle.
If you hurry up, run off tackle left or, gasp, do play action
Don't confine great players and future stars to the bench for 1 fuckup (Keith Ford)
If everyone knows you need to keep the other team off the field then don't pass on every fucking down with a 50% passer.
Knock off the delay of games. Fucking Christ.

Am I picking on the offense and Josh Heupel? Fuck yes. This offense is historically bad. That tubby fuck is so disappointing because he knows better. This year's middle school female Punt Pass and Kick winner will have a stronger arm than he had. But he won because the defense didn't know what was going to happen next. Instead of stepping on someone's throat  and keeping teams on their toes he thinks a three point lead is a gold bar. He calls games like a pussy. Fuck him he knows better.

OFFENSE

Christ almighty I don't give a shit. By God it should be Roy Damn Finch, Lacoltan Bester, Sterling Sheperd or Keith Ford. Those are the best players left on offense. Roy will get six touches, Bester will get two, Keith Ford will get none. I guess that leaves Sheperd. He's good for about five catches and 80 yards.

DEFENSE

Even though they gave up 40 points they played their balls off against Baylor. If the offense had been semi-competent they would have given up 30 at most and against that offense that's a hell of a day. As my old high school classmate cum ESPN Producer Brad Buchannen pointed out it's hard to believe our offense scored 60 points in 6 straight games in 2008.

But back to the defense. I really like this defense. I like Charles Ass Tapper and I would have his babies if he could line up onsides. I like everything about the linebackers. I love Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin. I like how Zach Sanchez is getting baptized by fire and mostly doing well. I like Quentin Hayes and Julian Wilson and, hell, even Gabe Lynn. These guys all deserve help.

I like Frank Shannon the most this week. I haven't scouted Iowa State (two in the pink one in the stink shocker) but I think they do just enough things lousy that Franky Baby has about 15 stops.

THE OUTCOME

Well, this one won't be close. Here's the eye opener. We have an 11am start, a team that's out of not only the National Title picture but also the Big 12, an opponent that's shitty and the potential for rain. The OU Athletic Department is going to have to adjust the budget the crowd will be so bad for this one. The consecutive sellout streak will be laughably fibbed. My we are a fickle bunch.

OU 42, Iowa State 13

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

OU vs. Baylor Or... Texas Tech Part the Deuce.. Maybe

Last game: The Sooners find themselves matched up against a team trying to make a statement and prove their lofty ranking was deserved. It was strength versus strength. Spread offense versus a defense designed to stop such a thing. The Nation found out the Red Raiders were overhyped.

This week: The Sooners find themselves matched up against a team trying to make a statement and prove their lofty ranking is deserved. It's strength versus strength. Spread offense versus a defense designed to stop such a thing. What will The Nation learn tonight?

The Baylor Bears, much like the Red Raiders, have played nobody leading up to this matchup. Buffalo has the best record of anyone the Bears have faced. The best Big 12 team they faced, K-State, is also the team that held them to a season low of 35 points. At the time of the Texas Tech matchup, the Red Raiders stiffest test had been TCU who held them to their lowest points of the season.

All of this to say that rankings and hype don't mean shit. This year's Oklahoma football team, while still a bit of a mystery and disappointment (oh, how spoiled are we?), have been tested. They've played in hostile territory and they've played against some ranked teams. You know at this point that there is a decent shot the Sooners are going to score 30. Maybe not much more than that but they can get there. You know they are going to hold someone under their scoring average (except texas damnit).

Baylor's numbers are off the charts. Their two leading receivers each have 30+ catches and average over 20 yards per. Their leading rushers each average over 8 yards per. It's PlayStation set on Rookie. But look at who they've played. It's real life set on Rookie. Wofford, Buffalo, Kansas, Iowa State.

Waco is probably the least intimidating place in the Big 12 to play. Besides the Cotton Bowl it's historically been the second best home away from home.

This need not be as scary as it is.

OFFENSE

No secret here it's all about controlling the clock, keeping Baylor off the field and making Baylor prove they can stop the run. Blake Bell just needs to be competent and Brennan Clay and Co. need to hang on to the football. Bell needs to take the easy passes when they are there but the offense needs to dictate the terms by shoving a potent ground game up Baylor's unproven ass.

For the love of all things holy I would like to put a good jinx on someone this week. I want, again for the love of all things holy, for Roy Damn Finch to step in and be Mr. Everything in Trey Millard's absence.

Speaking of Trey Millard can we pour a little out for our homey? WTF man? Godspeed in your rehab and thanks.

DEFENSE

Hoo boy. Everyone needs to double up on jock straps tonight. This is going to be a tester no doubt. It's nice having Frank Shannon back. That helps.

I can't find anywhere that says he isn't playing so I'm picking Eric Striker. He's the best blitzer by far and getting to the quarterback is the key to this Sooner squad getting off the field. This is my "Chess vs. Checkers" matchup to watch tonight and I like Ted Striker's chances.

THE SCORE

I am really counting on another paper tiger here. I am assuming that Baylor's defense is not only untested but also not up to the challenge. I am counting on the Sooners D being ready for the biggest test of their season. And I am counting on the Baylor offense to hershey squirt their britches a little bit when faced with a defense that is not made up of electric football figurines. Finally, I am counting on the Brothers Stoops and Josh Heupel to gameplan half as effectively as Art Briles.

A lot has to fall in place here. But it will and the Sooners make a statement of their own this week.

OU 42, Baylor 35

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Baylor

I come to you today, writing from my phone as the piece of shit Blogger wouldn't let me put up a post from the PC at my work for some reason. I'm happy about this. As a result, this may be shorter than normal (probably a good thing). 

There was a time when seeing Baylor come up on the schedule was a welcomed respite from the grind of a brutal Big 12 schedule. Oh how times have changed. What was once seen as a brief "lottery win" with the RG3 era, has turned into a legit program under the guidance of Art Briles. The rumors of him going to Texas have Sooner nation collectively scraping melted kit-kats from the inner linings of their jockey's. As it stands, he's made the Bears into legit contenders. I have strong doubts about tonight's contest. 

Mitch was (appropriately) worried that we'd be drubbed by Tech last week. Fortunately the Sooners were able to do enough to win that game. While solid, Tech is not going to be mistaken for Baylor, and we aren't in Norman. Make no mistake, this is the biggest game they've hosted in my lifetime, maybe ever. Big enough that they are taking the tarp off of the perpetually covered endzone seats to accommodate the ticket demand. This is bad. They are better than we are in nearly every facet, and I'm particularly worried that our decimated defense is going to be annihilated by their O. This is really bad. 

Offense

I'm feeling like our best chance in this one is to go with what we do best, run the football. Obviously because we are mush better at this than passing, it will (hopefully) keep their offense--and our defense off of the field, and if Baylor has a weak point it's stopping the run. Which sets it up perfectly for Heupel to get really fucking cute (see: OU v texas, 2013) and try to win a shoot out. That said, I'm hoping that common sense prevails and we hand it off early and often. It's our only chance really. I'm going with a hopeful pick. In light of his recent strong play vs Tech, I like Roy Damn Finch to be a spark that ignites our offense. 

Defense

I'm scared here, I don't really know how we're going to stop them. They do everything well on this side of the ball. We don't do much well. I know they pass and spread the field and score at breakneck speed. My vision though is that Seastrunk goes for about 200 and 5 scores. I hope I'm very wrong. I'm going to go with our best guy here. Big games call on your stars to step up and I think Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin does just that. I think he takes away half of the field, and makes some big tackles coming up in run support. 

Score

I'm nervous this could be 70-17 in favor of them. We've shat ourselves on the big stage for, oh, the last decade or so. None of this bodes well. I'm keeping the faith however (no reason to stop now), and taking the Sooners tonight. We play a grind it out game, get some lucky bounces and a win the turnover battle, Sooners "Miracle" this one with some old Sooner Magic: 31-30. 

Lets roll these punk bitches. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner. 

Tech

I'm pumped for today's game reader(s). I plan on settling in on the sofa with my pants around my ankles, a beer in one hand, and my junk in the other. Why? Well that hunk of a man Kliff Kingsbury of course. He looks exactly like Ryan Gosling, right? Right? Needless to say I'm pretty tired of hearing that shit. That's a passing comment, not a "feature piece". Furthermore it means absolutely nothing in terms of the game. Speaking of that douche, I really feel good that he's their head coach and I was out of school when he played there. Being old sucks. 

I also see that Bobby is calling for fans to be loud today. Nothing says "great fan base" like a coaching pleading them to not sit on their hands. Though the last time he did that (also against Tech incidentally), I recall it being pretty crazy. Sadly, that's the exception not the rule. I hope it's loud, and I hope we respond. I also hope it inspires Josh Heupel to call some plays that I, nevermind Tech, don't see coming. 

Offense

For those who haven't seen a game this year, we stink on offense. Partly because our QB is inept at the forward pass, and partly because our offensive coordinator is hell bent on not playing to our strengths (read: running the ball) or adapting his game-plan to what the defense is doing. However, I'm hopeful that today we realize that we can run the ball and do so with great determination and success. With that in mind I'm picking Brennan Clay today. He's been steady all year, living up to his well-earned moniker of old-steady. He'll get in the endzone once and rack up a heap of yards. (Preview to next weeks post: why did Brennan Clay not play last week?)

Defense

As you may have ascertained from what you've read up to now, I'm not feeling terribly inspired by today's game. It's 10 v 15 but I just don't have a ton of faith in either our offense or defense. We've been decimated up front in what was a surprisingly solid front. Kingsbury likes to throw it and we've not been great at stopping that (see: combo, bad). I'd like to pick Motherfuckin Colvin, but I'm not feeling it. I'm going with Ass Tapper. Chaz Ass Tapper.

That is all. 

Score

I think Tech is good, but I also think overrated. They'll be a challenge for the Sooners today no question, and I'm predictably nervous about. I do think the fans show up and become more of a "factor" than normal. I think that is enough to get us past them and keep our conference championship hopes alive. Sooners eke out an ass clincher 30-28. 

Boomer to Motherfuckin Sooner

OU vs. Texas Tech

I had no idea before the season started that this would be a game I'd be skeered of. It was an afterthought, an assumption. But I'm a little nervous about a potential butt whoopin. It's not even that I think Texas Tech is even as good as their number 10 ranking. I think the Sooners are just that bad. Texas Tech has played nobody and that's the best news. The worst news is doesn't matter because Klifford K. Kingsbury and co. probably think mighty high of themselves and this is a showcase game for them.

It raises my favorite question to ask year after year. Can the Sooners match the intensity of an opponent not named Texas or Oklahoma State? They better.

OFFENSE

Josh Heupel had some unused razzle dazzle from the texas game that he showed off last week and the result was LaColtan Bester throwing the best ball of anyone this whole season. I kid but it was a nice ball and why the fuck was a handoff to Trey Millard the Sooners most exotic wrinkle against Texas?

Anyways there's always today. This game is right in our wheelhouse offensively. We have to control the game clock and plod along and keep those Red Raiders off the football field. That means we gotta run around em and through em and over em.

This could be another game to highlight the wunderkind Keith Ford but he fumbled last week so he'll probably sit the rest of the year, be out with a leg and ask for a medical redshirt. So I'm going Brennan Clay today. The old war horse is ready for action.

DEFENSE

This is where I'm scared shitless. It's not that the Sooners are inept, it's that they're decimated and apparently have no depth. Things could get real ugly here. The saving grace is that Texas Tech, unlike OU, likes the forward pass and stopping that is what our defense does best.

That said if we don't have our head on straight this Texas Tech team could score more points than our offense could in a wet dream. In short, we need to bring it.

Having said all that you'd think I'd go defensive back here but nah. I'm going Ass Tapper. He's going to get some good rushes on the quarterback today.

THE SCORE

Oh boy. We really have to play well on D today. Flawless. I still think they'll score 21 so I'm going 27-21 in a "As close as the score would indicate" type of game.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

OU vs. Kansas

There's not enough fingers to point to all the blame from last week. I mean, what a pathetic performance. [Air quote] Props [Un-Air Quote] to Texas for executing well. But you want to talk about poor football? You want to talk about being your own worst nightmare? Egads. What a miserable day. Terrible run defense, terrible 3rd down defense. Nothing resembling flow on offense. Stupid penalties. Fucking hell.

Now we turn from that spanking to what, on paper, should be the reverse. Perennial doormat Kansas comes a calling. This should be a salve on the wound of the Sooners but the Sooners have no freaking idea what to do on offense and the defense is shredded by injury. Piling on, this is lose-lose. Win big and you did what you were supposed to do. Win by a little and you haven't solved anything. Lose and a mushroom cloud appears over Norman this week.

OFFENSE

This is how bad the offense has gotten. This week on the same day in the Oklahoman, there was a story about how the running game has to step up. Right next to that was a story about how Jalen Saunders and Sterling Sheperd need to pick it up. Jenni Carlson dusted off the Sorry Landry Jones love letter she wrote this past offseason. Berry Tramel wrote an article explaining the benefits of the forward pass in modern football.  The top two quarterbacks are pretty bad. This thing is a train wreck and the only person who seems to be coming out unscathed is Josh Heupel. What the hell?

Today I'm going with Keith Ford because he's A) A bright shining star in a sea of average and B) it seems clear that if any change is going to happen offensively it's going to be giving him more reps.

Maybe the passing game looks decent today. Maybe Saunders or Sheperd do get a lot of catches. It will be a damn miracle. I am very bearish on this offense. Woe is me and the sky is falling, etc.

DEFENSE

The story here is injuries obviously. This is a different unit with Jordan Phillips missing up front. When he was lost the D looked an awful lot like it did late last year. Co. Nelson hurts even worse. I don't know if Aaron Colvin is playing or not. That's three of the top four players on your defense (Ass Tapper obvs) "dinged" up. Tough to overcome. But overcome they must.

I haven't gone back and watched the tape. I rarely do on losses because I'm a sore loser. I know the longhorns went after the youngin' Dominique Alexander but 19 tackles is insane. He and Franky Shannon had almost 40 between them. Pretty hard on paper.

That said I'm not picking either of them today. I'm going out of the box here and going Quentin Hayes. Sure, why not. He seems like he's been relatively solid.

THE SCORE

Well, it's blowout or bust. Even though I don't think Josh Heupel likes "scoring points" or "routs" the Sooners have to have it. I don't know how they'll do it if Kansas doesn't go tits up. I wear crimson colored glasses and believe it will happen.

OU 31, Kansas 17 in a not as close as the score would indicate type game.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

Kansas

Faithful reader(s), I put fingers to keyboard this morn with a bleak outlook on the Sooners. The loss last week, and the manner in which it happened (see: shit, bed), really put me in a bad place. College football is wonderful, I love so many things about it. One of those things is the quest for perfection and the near certainty that anything less dooms those reaching for the crystal football to bring hand to brow and turn their eyes to next year. I've exhausted my vocabulary of words relating to my thoughts on the state of Sooner football. I wish that we were contenders again. The salad days, as it were, appear distantly in the rearview mirror. Our place in the ranks of title contender has faded to nothing more than also-rans. Yet, I still watch and still hope, and still have a damn good time watching the crimson and cream (and gold. sometimes. one time. maybe never again. hopefully). 

That uplifting intro was born out of honest sentiment, but also partly out of a lack of anything interesting or entertaining that I could come up with regarding jayhawk football. The only satisfying thing I get out of beating them, and we will beat them (foreshadowing), is knowing that the literally dozens on hand in Lawrence are the same "die-hard" super fans that manage to pack out their gym night-in night-out for the basketball team. After all, nothing solidifies true fandom better than testing that fandom by cheering a team that wins invariably. 

I'm bitter. 

Offense

My pick last week was predictably poo. One positive from that game, and there weren't many, was that for the first time in his career, Trey Millard approached something resembling being a feature of the offense. I liked that a lot. In my mind he has the best chance of being something solid at "the next level". With all of that in mind. I'm going with Millard today. Yeah, I'm probably giving him the kiss of death, but I don't give a fuck. He rumbles in for another score this week. 

Defense

I'm not sure what the hell happened last Saturday but its possible we missed Corey Nelson more than we could have ever imagined. It's also possible that, with the exception of Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin, we don't have much in the secondary. While Gabe Lynn seems better suited at safety (or at least better hidden as a shit player), Zac(k?)Sanchez is stepping on necks to get the gas-rag moniker. I'm going with someone in the middle of the D, Frank Shannon. I think Frank has a very solid day, racking up a shitload of tackles again and being involved with a turnover somehow. 

Score

I like the Sooners a lot today. KU is turds. I'm pretty sure we pummel their ass from pistol to pistol. Sooners 37-10. Now, lets forget last week and go out win this one big. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

texass

I really hate texas. I hate their uniforms. I hate their players. I hate the attitude of their fanbase. I hate their coach. Please allow me to spin a yarn about a deeply personal experience related to the texas football program, which may enlighten you to a small part of the stem of this hatred.

Growing up in Missouri my father had an office in my hometown. He worked in the same office, in the same building for many years. As one might expect, he came to know several other tenants who leased space in this same building. Spending a fair amount of my childhood here, along with my brothers, we too came to know many of these same people. One of these people was an older lady named Martha. She was a big part of our lives growing up and became a part of our family, joining us for holidays and other occasions throughout our lives. Martha's office was similar to my fathers, only in one corner was a large, vinyl-covered, red recliner chair. It was clearly something much older than I was, but it was omnipresent in Martha's office and everyone who paid her a visit (there were many every day) invariably sat in this chair. 

Shortly after Martha passed away, my family had the task of cleaning out her office and its contents. My cousins, from Ft. Worth, were in town to visit and helped us with this task. My cousin decided that the red chair was perfect for her son's room. Though my brothers and I all felt the chair was some small part of our childhood, none of us were particularly attached to it and as such agreed to them taking the chair and getting use out of it. As my cousin (the son, who got the chair for his room) grew up, he decided to attend the university of texas (he's much smarter than this turn of events would have you believe). The chair went with him and became a fixture in an entirely new set of lives. It was as known as a piece of furniture can be in a college boy's room. 

As I was talking with my cousin a few weeks ago, I randomly inquired about the red chair. Sadly, it had been damaged beyond repair at a party, set beside the curb, and hauled away. No there is not some wild story or crazy event that preceded its demise. Rather, it was tragically destroyed by none other than David Fucking Ash, who sat his stupid fucking ass on the arm of it, rather than in the seat, and broke it off. It's now in a greater Austin landfill, thanks to that stupid fuck who is no better at simply sitting down than he is at quarterbacking. I hate texas. 

True Story.

I digress from that probably irrelevant diatribe, and point my thoughts to Mack Brown, who has done nearly as much for Bob Stoops as he's done for himself. Apart from a few years where OU was pretty lousy and texas was pretty good, we've handled them well. Say what you want about Stoops shitting himself on the biggest stages, he almost always has the Sooners ready for texas. I'm convinced the common denominator here is Brown. Much has been made of the Sooners dominating recent Red River clashes, all week long. The Sooners are (surprisingly, maybe?) good in the first part of the year. texas has been pleasingly (surprisingly, maybe?) bad. So this bodes well for the Sooners, right? Right?

Actually I'm not sure. Traditionally in sports, repeatedly telling first class athletes they won't and, moreover, can't do something tends to light a significant fire under them. Supremely motivates them. Pisses them off, so-to-speak. Pile on the rivalry aspect, which generally provides a notable motivational factor on its own. Then add in this whole, Mack-Brown-is-fired-if-they-lose corollary, and we've got a recipe for disaster in Sooner nation. All of this plus the fact that Sooner teams in recent years have excelled at "believing the hype" and adopting the attitude that simply putting on the uniform ensures victory. If this whole win-one-for-Mack thing permeates the longhorn locker room, we may be in trouble. 

Offense

Whew, where to start here? I love the ground game. I'm just as hard as can be over this ground game of ours. And if there's one thing I've proved over the first five games it's that I can pick who is going to have the worst day on the ground. I hope it's Trey Millard (that dominates, not has the worst day. I suck at this) I really do. Hell, I'll take any of the backs going off. That said, I'm not about to inadvertently put a hex on any of them, no way, no sir. I'm going to take a little trip to the passing game. I'm going to dial up one of my favorite young players and one of the 'Dozer's favorite targets. I'm going with Sterling Shepard. He's been a total stud this year and has completely lapped Trey Metoyer in the "young receiver to get excited about" race. I think Bell looks for him often, and he responds with multiple catches and at least one long TD. 

Defense

It's really tough that we lost Corey Nelson. He might've simultaneously been our most underrated and best defender. I do love Frank Shannon, and I hear Alexander is a more than capable replacement. So the LB's will hopefully be ok. That said I do imagine there will be a drop-off. In order to minimize this, we will need strong play up front, both in the pass and run games. I like one of the big boys to step and "get after it". I'm going with Charles "Ass" Tapper. He's just developing into a total badass. I think he plants that "pumpkin-head" (copyright: Keith Mitchell, 2012), Case McCoy on his dick more than once. That's right, multiple sacks, and maybe more. It's going to be a full on "boner-getter day" for the Ass Tapper fan contingency. 

Score

This looks much tougher to me than most are saying. I think texas has everything to prove and nothing to lose in this one. I think they punch us in the mouth early, maybe even have us reeling a bit. But I think we punch back and do enough to win. Sooners rally in this one to make it 4 straight, 33-27. 

Lets roll these rotten motherfuckers. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner. 

The Red River Rivalry

Not to be overconfident because, "You can throw out the records in this one" and yada yada but is this the last RRR for Mack Brown? I mean, I don't think they'll can him mid-season. But if the Longhorns lose, however badly, is this the death knell for ol' Mack? If the horns win, does it save his job? Does it provide enough of a glimmer of hope for Longhorn Nation to see if ol' Mack can bring back the bygone magic of the Vince Young days with [Insert name of freshman QB wunderkind here] ?

I wouldn't care a whit except I like whipping Mack Brown's ass. I love his nasally, over-protective post game pressers. I am also scared shitless of an Art Briles Texas Longhorn offensive juggernaut. Don't want no part of it. I like the status quo here.

Now I don't like it enough to stomach a loss to the horns this week though, you understand. No sir. I want to absolutely pistol whip these sonsabucks. But I just wonder if I had my way and the Sooners go PlayStation on the Horns, have we seen the last of Mack? It's sad to think about really. I'm not sure I want to live in a world where Mack Brown is patrolling the Georgia Tech sidelines.

OFFENSE

My favorite aspect of this game is the Cinderalla Story who comes out of nowhere and ensures himself, at worst, a future at an autograph table at Joe Cooper Ford some Saturday during Ford Truck Month. Last year Trey Millard played the role. So far this season, Josher seems happy making sure those RRR highlights are the only memories of Trey we'll have.

So who will it be this year? I couldn't tell you if the Sooners have had a tight end on the field this year or not. So that would be the longest shot. I can't even name a TE and I won't bother looking it up. Somebody like LaColtan Bester would be a good choice. He seems to be solid if forgotten after that fumble against West Virginia. I think the best choice though is someone like Roy Finch. He's the perfect candidate because he's the kind of player you can move around (a la Millard) and get involved in a lot of different ways. Most importantly, Josher can do this with a lot of NEW formations and plays. They could even go back to that little shuttle pass that worked so well with Q back in the early aughts. Who else can make that kind of play?

So my choice is Roy Damn Finch. Related: Notice I didn't mention the texas D? That's because they're terrible and if that one guy hadn't done some shithead hit on an Iowa State guy last week there'd be nothing at all with the D to talk about.

DEFENSE

Boy, the loss of Corey Nelson hurts. Speaking of Cinderella stories.  Until now, Co. Nelson's career has been more balleyhooed and underwhelming versus coming from nowhere but finally this year he was starting to make believers. In fact, he was a total beast. And now, season over.

No time to cry though. Fuckin-A we got a game to play here. I really like the idea of a Mikey Stoops defense causing Case McCoy's eyes to go all Marty Feldman.

I'd love to pick Dominique Alexander here just out of solidarity for his fallen bro but I can't. But I'm such a firm believer in the Sooners rattling Case that I do think one Chaz Tapper is going to "go off". You want to talk about pleasant surprises? You want to talk about Beast Mode? Let's talk Chaz Tapper.

THE SCORE

Well I like the Sooners big here but all cliche aside I'll be pleased with a 1 point win. Me and the lady are going to the game for the first time (for me) since 1996. I need a Sooner victory. I've earned a Sooner victory.

Realistically, the texas D is pathetic. Our O will be fine. Our D will be "turnt up". We will, in fact, dominate.

I like the Sooners here in a great way. OU 35, texas 14.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner!

OU vs. TCU

The Texas Christian University Horned Frogs come to Norman thinking upset and for good reason. This game reeks of letdown what with coming off a big win and the Longhorns looming next week.

Speaking of big wins, most of the world figured the Sooners would be 3-1 by now. But no, bitches. A thumping of Notre Dame has the crimson colored glasses in full effect. At the quarter pole, the Sooners find themselves in contention. Better still, they're already playing the nobody believed in us card, a key emotional intangible for long-term success.

OFFENSE

I officially have a Bellboner for the Belldozer. He's a gamer. My favorite thing about what he brings to the offense is that he has more than two brain cells. It appears that the days of looking to the sideline for the pre-snap read are over. Some semblance of a hurry up is back in play. He's making good reads and of course he can run if plays break down. I'm fired up for the Blake Bell era. Related Note: The looking to the sideline routine of yesteryear lends credence to my pet theory that Landry Jones is not smart.

It didn't hurt either that the line was awesome last week. Bell could have had a pack of Pall Mall's rolled up in his jersey sleeve because he had time to smoke in the pocket on some of his passes.

Today, let's shoot for "more of same". The TCU defense is dinged up. Their best player is out. I'd like to see some better effort in play calling on 3rd down and in the red zone. Other than that let's keep on trucking.

I suppose I'll go with Sterling Sheperd here. He's starting to stick out as guy who's ready to make the leap.

DEFENSE

By all accounts, the TCU offense is pretty pathetic. A 30 point outburst against SMU isn't particularly scary. The Sooner D is much improved and actually pretty hard at this point. The big plays they gave up against Notre Dame were embarrassing at first glance but Notre Dame executed really well. The D more than made up for it with big plays of their own so their confidence is justifiably sky high.

The Linebackers in particular have shown up. I'm assuming they are more effective because the D-Line is getting some good push. I don't care what the reason is, it's awesome.

For my DPOG I'm going Julian Wilson. No gut feelings or anything here I just like his game. He's got a nose for the ball as they say and seems to be heavily involved when good things happen.

SCORE

Well, believe it or not I like our chances here and I don't think a letdown is in play. The Sooners have plenty still to work on and need this week to button these weaknesses up before another emotional game next week. Mentally, I think this team is stronger than year's past. There's an edge to them that is oh so nice to see again.

I like the Sooners here 31 - 7. Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

The God-Fearing Christians of Texas

The Sooners snap chin-strap to helmet once again this week but I fear they stand little chance. You see, these boys are good Christians that wear the black and purple. They grew up in homes where daddy and mama saw to it they were buttoned down in their Sunday best every week, shoulder to shoulder in the first pew. Hymns erupting forth from their throats, tears flowing etc. This devout unwavering faith carried over to the sports field in the form of dedicated head bowing before the game, crosses drawn on wrist tape with markers, and even circles formed with opposing foes after the dust settled. Yes these boys hold themselves to a standard most can only pray hard upon, yet never reach. You see that's faith and fellowship taken to the point of choosing a higher education, from a higher power if you will. They've taken their first steps out of the home into the wide, open-armed welcoming and unabashed acceptance of all races, credos, and beliefs that can only be found in a good Christian university. We're simply football players, they're soldiers of little baby Jesus hisself. We will be better served relenting and repenting tomorrow. The game is a formality, the real quest is a place in heaven. Amen.

Offense

This tilt against the horned frogs has all of the classic makings of a letdown game. Our huge road win last week has our boys riding mighty high (yet not "on high"). Hopefully the 'Dozer set down the Mountain Dew's last evening and went for some water so we can get four quarters out of him. I don't know a ton (read: anything) about TCU, but typically they play solid defense. The ground game has been strong for us this year and I think tomorrow is more of the same. I like Damien Williams as a change up of sorts this week. I think he's the bell cow with 100+ and a touch. 

Defense

It's been a surprisingly enjoyably year to watch our D. We've played well at all 3 levels. I've particularly enjoyed the play of our LB's. That said I'm going secondary this week. I'm really liking Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin today. He is, after all, the Motherfucker on this team. He's been quiet as he's been avoided, but I think he makes some noise today.

Score

It should be a good game. I'm nervous as I think we may be overlooking them. It's a classic sandwich game with UT next weekend. However, I think we're talented enough to win one ugly and I think that's what it will take. Sooners grind this one out under the lights, 24-17. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

Notre Dame

OK big game today. It's pretend vs. real Saturday. No pressure or anything but today could make or break the season. If we lose, we are who we thought we were. If we win... Can this team make a run at losing on the national stage at season's end?

A month ago Sooner Nation keyed on this game  and we hoped to have a pretty decent idea of what this team is made of. We still have no idea. We think we have a world class run game. We think we've found a quarterback. We think the D is improved.

But we find out today. Everyone is healthy. It's all hands on deck. Even the coaches are breaking rank and saying this game means more than others. This is a big damn deal.

Can the Sooners overcome this Notre Dame mystique? How are the Sooners 1-9 all time against ND?

OFFENSE

I don't know if Blake Bell will be even close to what he was last week. Notre Dame's D is a damn sight better than Tulsa. You can tell the Belldozer has a few brain cells to rub together. He doesn't seem to rattle or wilt like Lonnie. I've got a feeling we have a gamer in this guy. This all bodes well. The QB situation, for better or worse, seems solved.

Can we run the football? We can only hope Josher doesn't get locked in Chuck Long style into his game plan. In other words, let's hit them inside, let's hit them outside, let's run around them, let's run through them. Let's throw the kitchen sink at them. We have the personnel to adapt. Let's adapt.

Can the O-Line deal with a mean Notre Dame D Line. You know the boys up front want some revenge after getting man-handled last year. It's cliche but this is the whole deal. Can Blake have time to survey the field or will he have to win this game on his feet? Can we establish a run game and carry for 100 yards?

Not to be a front runner here but I'm going with the Belldozer. He's the key. If he can make good reads, manage the game, run as needed and not crap his pants we've got a real shot here. I like him.

DEFENSE

Unbelievable to think the return of Gabe Lynn will help this team. Also, the return of Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin will be huge. In other words, the Sooners finally have all hands on deck.

Our D has gotten a bit lucky. There have been a handful of long gains and/or touchdowns missed due to a case of the dropsies. Then there's occasional lapse in the run game. It all needs to come together today.

OU's defense is improved but how much? We've not seen Cortez Johnson and Colvin on the field at the same time. The D has to put their best foot forward today and, on paper, we'll have our best guys out there.

I can't believe I'm doing it but I'm going with Gabe Lynn today. I think he plays a nice center field and he comes away with a pick. The guy is actually a bit of a ball hawk.

THE SCORE

I've got some real anxiety about this game. All I can think of is being at the game in 1999 and watching that second half meltdown. Then I remember getting worked last year. History has not been kind to the Sooners in this series. How in the world are the Oklahoma Sooners 1-9 against anyone?

In recent years the Sooners have gotten up for about 3 games a year. Today is one of those games. This team is different. They have an edge and an urgency to them and I think they have the personnel to bring back some swagger. The return to the top can start today.

OU 27 Notre Dame 21

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

Notre Dame

Today the Sooners walk into, arguably the most hallowed ground in college football, to battle against the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. The program is as storied as the come, and with the hiring of Brian Kelly, has made a full return to national relevance culminating with a trip to (and subsequent ass-beat in) the National Championship game last season. The list of traditions is long and oft discussed. Touchdown Jesus, slapping the Play Like a Champion sign (which might be one of the greatest heist jobs in history as it's a blatant rip-off from OU, I digress), painting the helmets for every game with paint allegedly containing real gold...and the list goes on. However, what many of the main stream media and general population don't know is that there are a few traditions that are just as vital to the aura and mystique of Notre Dame football that continually fly under the radar. Let's end the suspense:

The North Bend
While South Bend, IN is the home to Notre Dame, the North Bend is long-held, pre-game tradition that no player puts on his cup until he has throbbing erection. This, along with painting the helmets, the pre-game handy is a perk of being the Football Pep Club. Multiple, conflicting theories exist as the origin and significance of this tradition.

Lou Holtz Pregame Speeches

No, the legendary Lou doesn't come to each game and fire up the Notre Dame troops. Upon hiring each new ND coach, one of the first orders of business is to have an ill-fitting retainer made. Before each game, the coach pounds two Jaeger bombs, puts in the retainer and delivers a garbled, saliva-blasting speech to inspire his team.

Shower Rides
While it's true that no player has been carried off of the field since Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger famously was, it's said a new tradition was born the following season. The star player of the game rides the player of his choice in a soaped-up shower celebration, while the rest of the team chants his name as a cap-tip to Ru-dy! Ru-dy! Ru-dy!

The Dusting of the Pubes
The famous gold in the freshly painted helmets is widely discussed. However, few know that the priests at Notre Dame shave the first pubes of the altar boys until the age of 16 in order to "keep them young and pure." These pubes are sprinkled all over the field and is said to provide the team with fresh legs throughout the game.

That is but four of the "secret" Notre Dame traditions that make the school the greatest gift to college football that has ever existed. Let's hope the Sooners don't crumble and wilt in the face of such glory.

Offense

Sooner Nation is still basking the glow of Blake Bell's dominant performance two weeks ago. The 'Dozer made everyone in Norman hit the streets to find the "heady nugs" that Stoops Heupel et al must have been smoking when Trevor Adophilous Knight was named the starter in his stead. While his passes were on time and accurate, sadly the barometer that is the Tulsa defense isn't the most telling. I, for one, am excited/anxious/nervous to see what he looks like against a very solid Irish D. Their front seven is pretty hard at every position, and their D-line in particular will provide a very tough challenge for our running game as well as pass protection. However, their secondary is rumored to be the bacon-caramel-brownie to their Kirstie Alley (read: weak point). With that in mind, I'm going with a receiver today. I think Jalen Saunders gets back on track after not being a focal point in the passing game last week. I think he gets in the end zone at least once today and makes some big catches for us.

Defense

This will be a big test for our boys on what has been a surprisingly solid defense thus far. Supposedly OU will be mixing in some of their 4-3 that was the mainstay of the Stoops brother's defenses until being supplanted for a 3-3-5 that was installed this past off-season. I've loved the play of our linebackers this year; Frank Shannon has been awesome. Jordan Phillips and Charles "Ass" Tapper have been very tough on the line as well. Today I'm going with Corey Nelson on defense. Long on potential and short on production in years past, he's finally (and almost quietly) playing like the star he was rumored to be for the last few seasons. I like him to be "flying to the football" today and making a bunch of big tackles.

Score

This is a huge test for our boys today. The Sooners have a longstanding tradition of their own, shitting the bed against the Notre Dame. While the Irish and their faithful will undoubtedly adhere to their traditions today and always, the Sooners will fly in the face of history with a win in South Bend. It will certainly be tough, but revenge is on our minds after last season. The defense plays well, and the 'Dozer does enough to win. The Sooners leave the scoreboard at 21-17.


Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Tulsa

Over the course of the week I was able to go back and watch the ballgame. Youtube is the best by the way.  In hindsight I think the Sooners got pretty lucky. West Virginia had chances and they simply made one or two more mistakes than the Sooners. WVU had a dropped pass in the end zone, some wide open misses and, of course, their share of turnovers.

For the Sooners, Trevor Knight was lackluster (to put it nicely) in the passing game but he had help. There was that LaColtan Bester fumble after a nice throw and run for instance. The turnovers in the red zone were inexcusable, however.

So this week we have intrigue. Knight is dinged up with a "leg" and Blake Bell gets the start. Wink Wink Nudge Nudge Nuff Said. A good performance entrenches him. But if the passing game continues to suffer there may be chaos, panic and disorder. Kendal Thompson has even been cleared to practice and evidently will be the Belldozer's backup this week. Worst case you could halfway through the season and have literally no idea what you have at quarterback. I still don't miss Landry though.

OFFENSE

My thoughts on Josh Heupel are well documented but it is incumbent on him to get this passing game off the ground, so to speak. The run and gun offenses of years past thrived on quick slants, screens and outs. Oh, how we hated them back then when Landry would get the snap, turn and fire to Ryan Broyles et al. But now that short passing attack seems pretty good. Also, what about screens to these running backs or, gasp, Trey Millard? Something should be available given how teams will be forcing the Sooners to pass.

This offense is clearly strong like bull in the run game. It would make no sense to pick someone other than a back. And it would be crazy to really pick anyone besides Brennan Clay. That's who I'm going with. He seems to be a fine young man who deserves all the success he's enjoying thus far.

With the Belldozer working his way into the offense and Josh Heupel running the show this game could be simple and fast. The clock stays running and as little as possible is done to preserve a winning score. Read: Zone Read, Sweep Right, Quick HB Belly.

The Sooners are fucked against Notre Dame if they don't evolve offensively against Tulsa this week. Book it.

DEFENSE

This group has excelled against inferior competition thus far. Tulsa is no different so this should be enjoyable.

The biggest surprise through two games has to be the performance of the D-Line although with expectations as low as they were for this unit it would be difficult to not exceed them. That's your backhanded compliment of the week sponsored by, "Overbearing Dad" Magazine.

With that in mind I'm going to pick Jordan Phillips as my DPOG. I want to pick Chuka Ndulue but a beer buzz at the time of this writing is keeping me from it.

THE SCORE

The best thing I can say about this game is that it lines up perfectly to give me the opportunity to take my son to his first Sooners football game. Mild-ish weather, early start, cupcake opponent. I've been waiting a long time for this.

On the field I expect domination in the "not as close as the score would indicate" fashion. The Sooners offense beats up Tulsa, the D flies around enough to ward off too much damage and Michael Hunnicut leads the Sooners in scoring.

I hope I'm wrong and this is all a reverse jinx.

I like the Sooners 31-10.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

Tulsa

This Saturday pits our beloved Sooners against the Tulsa, Golden Hurricane. Much has been made of how ridiculous it is that a school located so far from the threat of a hurricane should have such a name. Cue some asshole explaining how it's not really for a hurricane but for blah blah blah... Shut up. I've decided that a golden hurricane is something of a euphemism along the lines of a Cleveland Steamer or a Blumpkin. Basically 15-20 fat Japanese men binge on beer until each is nearing a bladder rupture. They then disrobe and form a circle. Then a young girl kneels in the middle of them. At this point they simultaneously unleash a furious deluge of urine, soaking her in a Golden Hurricane. I wish the on-field mascot reflected this better. 

Going into this campaign I knew there would be some growing pains. I assumed, given the plethora of returning skill position players, that the majority of said pains would be on defense. Oh how I was wrong. While the D has looked excellent (deceptively good I think, but I digress), it's the O that has been basically terrible. Trevor Knight was bad enough last week that the coaching staff replaced him in the 4th (knee injury or not I think) with Blake Bell. Moreover, they opened up the avenue that they might have been wrong about Knight, something that Bobby has not been wont to do historically. Bell did little to quell any fears pertaining to the passing game but did manage to be the tortoise to Knights hare, in that his slow and steady was effective at moving the chains late. 

I'm hopeful that Bell can find some kind of groove in the passing game. It's going to be rough (long term) if he can't and Tulsa feels like a good time to "get right". Defensively, I hope we can keep it up. Schematically I'm not sure we've been dramatically better than recent years, but I will say that the tackling has been light years ahead of last season. That alone is worth a nod to Mike Stoops. The spread has us giving 24, that seems generous given our struggles last week. Nonetheless, we play to win, if not cover, and I think we'll do that. 

Offense

Last week I picked the right position, but couldn't have been more wrong about the player. Brennan Old Steady Clay had a railroad spike between my legs all night. What a game. I still wish we'd spread the touches around the backfield more, ie Millard, but it's hard to argue with the two-headed monster of Williams and Clay. I would really like to go with Jaz "Hands" Reynolds or LaColtan Bester, but I just don't think Bell will drop back and throw enough to make that realistic. Perhaps this is a hindsight pick or betting on last race's horse, but I'm going Brennan Clay this week. He was just a total force all night, and wasn't stoppable even when I knew what was coming. I think that earns him copious touches against Tulsa and he responds with 100+ and 2 trips across the goal line. 

Defense

I really feel like Frank Shannon is becoming a huge difference maker on D. He's almost quietly been (arguably) our best defender. Credit where due as well: Gabe "gas rag" Lynn hasn't been completely abysmal either. That said I've got a new guy out there that is rapidly becoming one of my favorites this year, Charles Tapper (aside: can we just make his nickname "ass" now? It's too awesome to not have Charles "Ass" Tapper. Nope, it's done, Ass Tapper). I'm going with big Charles this week. I think he picks up a sack and is a force on the defensive front both against the pass and run. 

Score

As I said, 24 seems like a reach with our O. I think this one might be painful to watch though I don't think it will be in doubt too terribly much. I like OU 28-10. Bell gets the ground game rolling and the ghosts of Bud Wilkinson smash their way to a win. 

Time to roll heads. Early start, early finish. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner 

WVU Thoughts, Reflections, and Ruminations

I guess now that WVU has joined the Big 12, we can count on at least one win a year being strangely unsatisfying. For the second contest against these guys in less than a year, I've witnessed a Sooner win that left more questions than answers. Although, it's a completely different scenario this time.

• Our passing game looked terrible (professional insight that might have otherwise gone unnoticed). Trevor Knight clearly has all of the tools physically...and that's where it ends. He looked completely lost tonight. I didn't see the first game, as I mentioned yesterday, but this clearly wasn't a case of just missing open guys. He was locked on to the primary receiver every time he dropped back and threw the ball with no regard to coverage. He was late hitting guys out of the breaks. In short, he was totally overmatched...by a Dana Holgerson defense. 
• The running game was awesome. So awesome in fact that by the end of the third quarter and beyond, everyone on the planet knew we simply weren't going to pass anymore, and we were still gashing them. 
• Our coaches had/have absolutely no confidence in our ability to pass. It's clear now why Knight won the QB derby out of the fall. Once Bell came in we became a pure option team. He must look awful in practice because they don't even pretend to want to let him throw.
• The Defense was salty again. Apart from a horrible play where no less than 4 tackles were missed en route to a 75 yard TD, they gave up zero points. Some of that falls on WVU (there were many bad throws to open guys, dropped passes, penalties etc.), but credit where it's due, the D held when it needed to. They need to work on stopping screens, but looked tough against the run all night (save the one play). 

There is a lot to work on, and if we can't figure out the forward pass, and soon, it's going to be a long year when better teams are met. On the plus side, Texas got beat and looks like they can't stop the run whatsoever. Let's we improve this week.

WVU

As the first light of dawn reached into my bedroom, I awoke. My buckskin pants already on, I turned my legs toward the floor and my feet delved into my fur lined, high-top moccasins. As I stood I simultaneously stretched, and reached for the tassled, tanned leather jacket hanging on a deer antler next to my bed. I pulled its soft, animal embrace over my skeletal frame. Sleep still in my eyes, and morning still on my breath, I placed my time-worn coonskin cap on and threw my musket over my shoulder. My arm pushed open the weathered, wooden door to my bunk and my gaze met the morning sun with a squint. As I took my first breath of the crisp morning air, I felt the familiar deluge of carnal excitement as I went into the next bunkhouse to fornicate with both of my sisters. And it was golden.

--from, "The Mountaineer: My Year of Torrid Incest as an Adult Male Cheerleader", HarperCollins; 2003

There's a less than 3% chance I made that up, which is roughly on par with the chance I give WVU of winning today in Norman. Everyone knows the details of last season's track meet in Morgantown. The Sooners emerged victorious but not before allowing Smith, Austin et al to literally run at will all over our embarrassing, wait-it's-not-two-hand-touch?-defense. It's the worst performance defensively of the Bob Stoops era. It was the least satisfying win I can remember, but a win nonetheless.

All of the key pieces of that onslaught, and of Dana Holgerson's (semi) relevant Mountaineer team of last season, are gone. New QB, new skill position guys and it all showed up (or didn't, depending on..) last week. WVU had to rally, RALLY, in the second half against The Tribe of William and Mary. Granted, I'm sure they were overlooking them a bit, but still. They certainly won't be looking past OU on the road today. However, I'm sure we're eager to shut them down and prove that last year was the exception, not the rule. My suspicion is Mike Stoops has not failed to remind the defense of how fucking terrible they looked last season against these guys. My hope is he's got a game-plan together to show them "what's what".

Last week marked the debut of Trevor Adophilous Knight (probably/certainly not his real middle name, but it sounds damn fine and "right" to me). He showed Sooner Nation his ability to scramble. He also showed he can be woefully inaccurate in the passing game. While I didn't get to watch the game ($49.95 to stream ULM on SoonerSports?? Not a fucking chance), reports indicate he settled down as the game went on. I hope that he's more poised today and starts making the good throws that are there. Of course, it's nice to have our running game as a fallback. I was pleased to see from the box score that Roy Finch had a nice day, and Mitch seems pretty high on Keith Ford. That said I was disappointed that Heupel found enough touches leftover to give Trey Millard one (ONE!?) carry. I hope that changes, though I have strong doubts.

Offense

I liked going with Knight in his debut, and I think a case can be made that he was OPG. Early returns look as though Jalen Saunders may be a favorite target as he had a nice game last week (nice call, Mitchy). I was pleased to see Trey Metoyer find the endzone last Saturday as well. This week, I'm feeling as though Knight picks up the passing game even more, and puts up better numbers. Though I'd love to go with Knight or a receiver, I feel like it's going to be someone on the ground today. The running game is such a tough pick with so many options (underutilized or not) to give the ball to. I'm going to go with Roy Finch. I'm excited that he's becoming a part of the offense (again) because, let's face it, when he is out there he almost always does something awesome. I think 100+ yards is unrealistic with all of our options, but I feel as though an all around balanced day of running and receiving with one score is coming.

Defense

I really wish I could have seen last week's game. It's been so long since we've shut down anyone, regardless of what kind of team it is, to that degree. Only two trips past the 50! I must say it feels good. We're clearly not going to keep putting up those kinds of games in the Big 12, but it's a nice start. Though Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin played well last week, it felt even better to tip a cap toward Frank Shannon and Charles Tapper who both ended up having really nice games. With that in mind, I'm going to pick Frank Shannon as my DPG (Defensive Player of the Game, not Disrespectful Pounding of the Gash). I think he makes a lot of big tackles today, and leads us to another solid defensive performance.

Score

I like what the D showed last week, and I like that WVU struggled to score against William AND Mary (I mean, both of them??) last week. I also think the offense gets rolling even more this week with Knight settling in earlier. Sooners win this one 41-17. Solid performance out of the gate, and we keep the pressure on throughout.

This is my first game of the season to watch, and I couldn't be more excited about the prospect of it. It's payback for last year and we'll do it in a big way. Let's roll heads.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

OU vs. West Virginia

Judging future performance on the recent past is a tricky business. It's borderline dumb in sports. Any given Sunday and all that jazz. But last week, West Virginia had to throw the kitchen sink at William and Mary to eek out a win at home. I pegged William and Mary for a women's field hockey powerhouse. Nevertheless, a game that was, on paper, the best of the 2013 Sooner home slate now looks a little less appealing.

That's dangerous thinking that the Sooners would be advised not to buy into.

I watched a little bit of the WVU game and the Mountaineers trotted out some half wit at quarterback name Greg Millard. I am delighted to call him Greg Marmalard. I hope he plays early and often. He seemed ineffective.

OFFENSE

Anyone who wasn't pleased with last week's performance is a jerk. Trevor Knight was shaky early in his first meaningful action since high school. That's understandable. Some of his passes should have been caught. He managed the game, his lone turnover was awarded via replay and was a long pass on 3rd down anyway (effectively a punt). He got rid of the ball quickly, didn't take a sack and didn't fool the o-line with snap counts and such.

The running game was damn good too. It might not happen this year but Keith Ford is going to be a star. On one play it took three defenders to bring him down and they all got up slowly. The dude runs hard.

I would expect more of the same this week. I expect the passing to be marginally improved by virtue of the distribution of the ball being a bit better.

For my OPOG I'll go with Roy Damn Finch. He saw more action than I expected and I think he'll break some longer ones this week. The good news is there are options here week in and week out.

Before we move on to defense I'd like to highlight that both Navin and I made awesome picks last week. Both Knight and Jalen Saunders were impressive.

DEFENSE

Sooner fans should be pleased with what they saw on this side of the ball last week as well. Shutouts are hard to get. There is clearly an athletic upgrade across the board from this year to last. They seemed to play with a sense of urgency. I was really impressed by Jordan Phillips and Charles (Chaz) Tapper on the line. Frank Shannon and Corey Nelson both played well. Eric Striker is a linebacker in a Safety's body. Zack Sanchez was solid at DB. Quentin Hayes and (gulp!) Gabe Lynn were both flying around.

I'm cautiously optimistic that the attitude and snarl missing from year's past has finally made its return.

For my DPOG I'm going with Cory Nelson. I'm hopeful that the Sooners might have an answer to all the underneath stuff these widespread offenses are using. The LB's really seemed like they were covering some ground last week. Maybe some of these plays can get funneled to these guys and that they have the athleticism to make the plays.

Seems crazy picking an LB but what the heck.

SCORE

It's too hard to believe that WVU can be as bad as they appeared last week. I chalk it up to new personnel and looking ahead a bit. Also, Dana Holgerson seems like a putz so he probably just didn't have the boys ready to play. So, I think they look a little better this week and score some points.

I do not, on the other hand, believe that the WVU defense can hold a wet fart. This will not be the shootout of last year but there will be lots of scoring.

OU 42 WVU 24

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

ULM Quick Hits

Quick hits on OU's 34-0 victory over ULM

Trevor Knight

• Trevor Knight made plays on 3rd and long
• He gets rid of the ball fast
• Finally he settled down and made some nice throws
• Lots of room to improve

On the Offense

• Keith Ford will be a stud. He lays the lumber
• Roy Finch got a ton of touches
• Run game was awesome
• Very few penalties was great

Defense

• Defense was fantastic
• Goose eggs against anyone is a big deal
• Frank Shannon was a beast
• Charles Tapper looked great
• Jordan Phillips 
• Zack Sanchez
• Julian Wilson
• The D looked athletic and they had a chip on their shoulder. Definitely encouraging.

34-0 is better than I'd hoped for. We're clearly going to be national champions. JK. Good start though.

PS I'm "Affected"

ULM

For the first time since being totally destroyed on the biggest stage (again) last January, the Sooners take the field with a clean slate this evening. As I mentioned in my post on Wednesday, I have an odd mix of resignation and optimism on the season. But as I wiped my eyes this morning and rolled out of bed, optimism sprung up. While I'm not sure what to expect during the course of the season, today I'm expecting an ass beat be put on the poor saps from ULM.

Yes, the pundits say that ULM is not to be taken lightly. They started their season by beating a respectable Arkansas team on the road and played (a shitty) Auburn close last year. They also had tough losses to such powerhouses as Arkansas State and Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns. With that in mind I'll chalk the Arkansas upset to being overlooked and the others to not being a great team. Listen, they are who we think they are and if you want to crown their asses then go ahead and crown them. Denny Green aside, they're a decent mid-major capable of beating us. However, I don't think it's likely.

The biggest story of our day, and what has me brimming with curiosity and excitement is the debut of Trevor Knight, aka not lonnie jones. I'm pumped to see what this supposed wunderkind can do. I'm also pumped that for the first time in 3+ seasons I'm not going into a game absolutely certain that I'm going to hate at least 10 things our QB does.

Defensively, well, who the hell knows what can happen? In my exhaustive (read: less than 7 minutes of...) research, it seems that ULM did put up quite a few points most weeks in 2012. So it appears that they know (knew?) how to score. This fact gives me more pause than anything else, given that last season we welcomed opponents into the endzone like so many penises into a chubby drunk sorority girl longing for acceptance. I didn't do any defensive newcomer selections, mostly because I didn't think of it (hat tip: Mitch), but the guys I'm excited to see, and think may have big years, are Frank Shannon and Charles Tapper (in addition to, of course, Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin). Let's hope we set the tone early this year by shutting someone down.

Offense

I feel like there are a lot of options here given the amount of talent we have returning to the skill positions. However, given Heupel's play-calling resume, it's a goddamned crapshoot figuring out who will get the ball (read: not Millard, Trey and Finch, Roy). However, there is at least one player guaranteed to get touches. Maybe it's the 3rd cup of coffee ("Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home..."), but I'm doing something I haven't done in those aforementioned 3+ seasons, I'm picking our QB, Trevor Knight, as my offensive player of the game. I think (hope?) that the young buck rambles, scrambles and throws all over the field today and lends me one of those corn-dogs Mitch observed in Mike Stoops' shorts (front, not back). I'm thinking 250+ passing yards, 50+ rushing yards, 3 TD's and 1 int (he'll have hiccups).

Defense

Here I really only have one option at this stage of the season given the number of question marks on D. So no bullshitting around, my pick is Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin. I don't foresee any int's due to the fact that they'll likely avoid going his direction much in the passing game. That said I think he makes multiple big tackles and forces a fumble in the run game (he can hit).

Score

My hunch is they can score. I'm hopeful we can too. Provided we don't run shotgun draws every play and turn into The Chuck Long Project (the offense, not the progressive rock trio I can only assume exists somewhere) again, I think we'll put up some points ourselves. It might not be flawlessly pretty but I think we win convincingly today 41-24. No I don't like that it's that close but they get a garbage TD in there at the end.

Let's roll heads, it's Sooner football season again.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner!

OU vs. ULM

It's football time in Oklahoma.

Don't be fooled by the bona fides of ULM. They beat Arkansas last year when the Hogs were ranked 8th in the country and they should have been ranked 88th. They beat Auburn and they were awful too. But the Sooners need to respect them. They have a solid QB by all accounts.

I'm eager to take the pulse of Sooner Nation and see how quickly people can put on their big boy pants and get on board the 2013 campaign.

OFFENSE

I think Josher will look to get Trevor Knight in a rhythm early. Knight will probably find a TBD safety blanket pretty fast and once that opens up the running game, it's over. I'm taking Jalen Saunders today for my OPOG. I think some wide receiver will catch about 10 balls. Might as well be him.

I also think the DD Williams train gets rolling. With everything else going on he's been under the radar this offseason. He can serve notice that he'll be a major factor on that side of the ball this year.

Also keep an eye on Roy Finch. He's back in good graces apparently. He's a senior too so it's all or nothing for him this year. Other things I'm excited for would be the return of Jaz "Hands" Reynolds, LaColton Bester and the line.

DEFENSE

Hooboy. The D doesn't have to be great today. I don't think they even need to show the promise of greatness. They just need to be solid. They need to do some things they can build on. Let's take baby steps here.

I'll take greatness though.

I'm picking Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin. There's no other choice really in the first game. I ride with the horse that brought me here. Half a dozen tackles, a couple break ups and a minimum number of balls even thrown his way will make his day a success.

I'll be happy if I can leave the stadium today with a feeling of excitement rather than dread about the future of defense.


THE SCORE

Ultimately, this provides a fine first test. The defense needs to get their sea legs under them fast. Trevor Knight needs some practice under the lights and 90,000 people. It won't be perfect but it will be fun and I'm pumped for another season.

OU 34 ULM 14

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

The 2013 Steamers

The Sooner Steamroller preseason awards (dba The Steamers) guarantee success or failure just as much as the AP Pre-Season awards. Congratulations to all the "winners".

Without further ado:

The 2013 Sooner Steamroller MF'er

Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin

Goes to Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin. He was, by a mile, the only defensive player last year who played well on a consistent basis. He'll be on an island this year and, by all accounts, he's in full lock down mode. I'm excited about what this ball player brings to the table. He's a senior, he's a captain, he's the 2013 MF'er.

For the uninitiated, the MF'er is the most prestigious award handed out by Steamroller staff. It goes to the defensive player who most exemplifies everything you want in a Sooner. The MF'er brings his hard hat and lunch pail every game and can otherwise best be described as a "Baby Eater" on the football field. He makes plays that make you turn and ask the people around you, "Did you see that play? Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin, man!"

T-Shirts Here

Old Steady

Old Steady is the player (up to this point a running back) who brings the same effort every play. You know exactly what you're getting with Old Steady, a decent yards per carry, no fumbling, no dicking around in the backfield. This year the award goes to Brennan Clay.

Clay was much balleyhooed when he arrived on campus but he began his career as the homeless man's version of the original Old Steady, Chris Brown. Sure, he could get you two or three yards a touch but is that a feature back? Last year, however, he turned it on in a great way. This year, with a better (when healthy) O-Line and no plodding oaf QB to get in his way I see big things happening here.

I'd also like to "give propers" to Trey Millard as well. He's definitely good enough to earn Old Steady honors but, after discussing with Navin, we just don't trust Josh Heupel to feed him the ball enough for him to qualify. It's ridiculous that a lack of touches is a possibility. For Thunder fans it's the opposite of the Kendrick Perkins effect. Stubbornness keeps Perkins on the court and he is a black hole on offense. Millard is always on the field, lined up everywhere and is stubbornly denied the ball.

Gas Rag McGee

Gas Rag McGee
Photo by Chris Landsberger - The Oklahoman

To the player on defense who looks more lost than my mom in a Tokyo subway station. If opposing Offensive Coordinators have two brain cells to rub together Gas Rag McGee is the guy they will scheme endlessly to get man coverage against. Last year it was Tom Wort. Bless his heart he had the "motor" but he just couldn't hang physically.

This year Gabe Lynn puts the trophy back on his mantle. He's been lost in the secondary since he stepped on campus. Until someone steals the title from him, he's the guy. With plenty of newcomers this could be quite the little horse race this season.

Offensive Newcomer

Has to be Trevor Knight. It's not every year the Sooners usher in a new quarterback. Right or wrong the question is will he be the next great one. This implies trips to New York for Heisman ceremonies. That's a perfectly reasonable expectation isn't it? No pressure or nothin'.

Keith Ford could also be a choice here but there's no way he has the impact, good or bad, that Knight will.

Defensive Newcomer

Smart money is on someone like Quincy Russell, DJ Ward or Charles Tapper. The line was hideous last season and if any of these guys can bolster that unit, particularly Russell, then that would be huge. I'm going Quincy Russell here.

If you're feeling a little more daring I would say Hatari Byrd because Mike Stoops is so excited about him he reportedly stalks the practice field with what looks like a corn dog in his coaches shorts.

Coach or Player I Will Blame for Anything Bad Now That Landry is Gone

Josh Heupel. To say I'm underwhelmed by him is too kind. We haven't made a defense look clueless in three years. The only hurry up we do is a quick handoff. The Belldozer package was born of desperation and is successful because Blake Bell is bigger than a Honda Accord.

In my opinion Josher has more pressure on him to show something than Trevor Knight.

Home Game I Can't Believe I'm Missing

West Virginny. Life is full of tough choices. I've chosen a day of music over football on September 7th. Yep, One Direction is coming to town.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

This is Sooner Football 2013

Welcome, Sooner fans, to the 2013 season. It's been a long and all too familiar offseason of stewing in one's own stink. Losing ugly to Texas A&M on national television at the Cotton Bowl has the Sooner faithful questioning everything they've long held dear.  The net effect here in the heartland seems to be indifference. Expectations haven't been this low since Bob Stoops arrived 15 years ago.

I understand if you subscribe to the Championship or bust mentality. It has to be the mindset of the greatest college football team of all times. But let's be honest here. The odds of raising an 8th National Championship banner are not good. You say, "But Keith, do you mean not.. good.. like.. one out of a hundred?" I'd say more like one out of a million. But I'm telling you there's a chance!

So we need to make some lemonade out of last year's lemons. Here are five things to get excited about.

1. Landry Jones is Out

The Sooners could lose every game this year and I can say with absolute confidence that I will never utter the words, "No way would we have lost if we still had Landry". It won't happen. Quarterbacks not named Landry Jones are exciting.

2. Trevor Knight is In

A Redshirt Freshman quarterback being handed the reigns at a powerhouse is actually pretty frightening. And don't go tricking yourself into thinking he's the next Johnny Manziel. But this offense could put up 40 points if I was quarterback. It's loaded. The O-Line is experienced, there are playmakers and deep threats at wide receiver and the running backs are stacked. Throw in Knight, who can use his feet to escape pressure and stay ahead of the chains, and we might see opposing defenses on their heels again.

3. A Crapshoot Defense

The odds are stacked against the Sooners because last year's defense was terrible down the stretch. Four starters return from a unit that was ranked 64th in total defense last year (Of note: Brent Venables' Clemson Tigers D ranked 63rd). The situation can only improve in year two of Mike Stoops Part Deux, right? Or, could the inexperience of the new names and faces make them worse? We have no idea what to expect.

4. Jay Boulware, Special Teams Coordinator and Tight Ends Coach

Why is this a big deal? Last year one Tight End caught three balls. That's three balls. All season. They were coached as part of the Offensive Tackles group. I'm not pretending that an effective (existent) Tight End game is the single key to success in modern football. But having the option is nice.

Also note the Special Teams Coordinator title. OU hasn't had a coach with this responsibility since 2005 (Kevin Sumlin). Not coincidentally, special teams have vacillated between average and embarrassing in recent years. Special teams can win or lose football games.

A renewed emphasis on these two groups is definitely a good thing.

5. Trey Millard Decided to Come Back

He should have taken NFL money but I'm glad he's back.  The guy is a man among boys. It appears that the attitude in Norman has changed from complacency to near desperation. Hopefully this means Josh Heupel will be calling Millard's number early and often. If it happens get ready for Millard Mania©.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner! Coming up next will be Preseason Awards and more prognostication.