OU - Iowa in the Insight.com Bowl

Tonight in Tempe the Sooners cap off a season of disappointment and unrealized expectations. The Sooner coaching staff had us sitting at their feet and eating out of their hands with talk of this years squad being the favorite for the National Title. Oh how we lapped it up. Oh what a bummer.

So now here we are. The Sooners (4th place in the Big 12) versus Iowa (4th place in the Legends Division of the Big 10).

What a matchup! What stakes!

Let's review the storylines:

For Iowa, they lost their best Running Back. I don't know his name and I don't know his replacements name. But I do know that this replacement ran for something like 40 yards this year. Sounds like someone is due for a breakout performance and I know just the defense to help make it happen.

Speaking of, did you know Sooner defensive "lynchpin" and team captain Travis Lewis hasn't spoken to the media since Halloween and, rumor has it, all his teammates have pretty much ceased speaking to him as well? Camaraderie. The Sooners don't gots it.

There's also been a rash of transfers for the Sooners. "Cleaning House" according to Bob Stoops. I'm fine with it. If a guy doesn't want to play in Norman, fare thee well.

Whilst on the subject of roster thinning, how about not having Ronnell Lewis? Or Jaz Reynolds?

So there's two ways this thing can go. One, the Sooners buck up. They tuck in their bottom lip and change a shitty attitude that's been pervasive all year. Or, they put a nice tidy bow on a heaping turd of a crap cake.

Who's excited to see what happens?

OFFENSE

So, Landry hasn't thrown a touchdown pass since Ryan Broyles went down? And Jaz "Hands" Reynolds is injured? And Kenny Fuckin Shitbag Stills has inexplicably failed to step up? And, through injury and transfer, the Sooner backfield consists of Roy Finch, Brennan Clay and Trey Millard?

Well then everything should be humming like a sewing machine.

I'm going with Millard. He's been under-utilized to Stoops's chagrin. It's time to unleash the beast.

DEFENSE

Well I'm already scared that an anemic Iowa offense is going to come unhinged. The Sooner D gave Robert Griffin 3 a shove to the Heisman podium. Maybe the can get a Hawkeye on the long list going into next year?

I don't know what to do here. I'm going to say Jamelle Fleming for sentimental reasons. He's a Senior. He's played as well as anyone all year. He'll be eager to leave on a high note.

THE SCORE

I haven't felt less sure about a game all year. I don't know if the Sooners care. My crimson colored glasses tell me they will and they will shut down an Iowa offense that is not dynamic.

I hope, I hope, I hope.

I hope if I'm wrong that I remember it's a meaningless exhibition to close out a season that, by Stoops-era standards, was a major disappointment but by John Blake standards is still an overwhelming success.

Sooners 24, Hawkeyes, 13

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner. Happy New Year.

And a special shoutout to Kate Bendick, now engaged to Cousin Brad. Mazel-tov!

Iowa

Well, this is for another season of The Steamroller, my last post of the year and sadly the means both football and calendar. One great thing about the game tomorrow is how I spent many a winter night dreaming of catching the winning touchdown in the Insight Bowl. Disgusting. Yes, I'm spoiled a bitch, but I'm not terribly excited for this game tomorrow. I have to say, I think without a doubt this is by far the most underachieving team of the Stoops era. Is this how the curve will go? Extreme overachieving at the beginning, meeting expectations for a few years, followed by decline into underachieving teams? I don't know what follows that and I don't want to, but it appears we've been headed this way for a couple of years. I digress, on to Iowa.

I know, predictably, absolutely nothing about Iowa. I know our coach played there. Does that fact even matter to anyone besides Berry Trammel et al? Anyway, with that hard hitting knowledge fresh on your pallet I haven't the slightest idea what will happen tomorrow. I do know that if they've even read books on the forward pass, we're probably in trouble. Can you tell this season disgusts me?

I suppose we've been getting ready, and since hardly anyone will be watching this game my guess is we'll play pretty well. Nobody burns brighter than Stoops and Venables when the spotlight is off. What I'm really hoping, in fact what I think the most positive possible outcome of this game is, is that Lonnie plays extremely well. So well in fact that that the Mel Kiper Jr.'s of the world, convince him that he's a lock first round pick. Nothing could bode more favorably for next season than Lonnie leaving (with the possible exception of Venables being replaced by Mike Stoops). Addition by subtraction at it's absolute purest. Enough hating, I hope we win and I we hope we do it convincingly. On to the picks

Offense

No bullshitting here, I'm going with Finch. The WR corps is depleted, hell the whole team is depleted, and Fuckin' Shitbag doesn't seem interested in stepping up to be the next WR stud. Brandon Williams is out of the picture, and frankly Finch has played well since seeing his touches increase. I think he goes for 70 on the ground, 60 receiving and 2 TD's. Big day for Roy.

Defense

I don't really even know who's playing over here, I think I saw Ronnell is ineligible for grades (mailed it in anticipating the draft I'm guessing), and probably others. I'm going with Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson. It's his last game of the year of being Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson, and possibly his last game of it ever (stayed tuned next fall!). I think he rises to the occasion. I sure hope he does, we need him.

Score

As I said before, I know nothing about Iowa and therefore have no decent idea of what will happen. I'm hoping we can outscore them as we haven't stopped many people. I think we do it with the pressure of hundreds watching, 38-35. Let's hope we can do this last one of the year right, let's beat these motherfuckers.


Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

F

Just read, Mitch's post after publishing mine. I've now set a new bar for worst player of the game picks in a season. If Big Frank doesn't play, I'm just a complete asshole (or possibly, regardless if he plays or not). Well, if it's questionable that he plays, I'm still going with him. I'm saying Willis Fucking Reed style. Fuck it, he's coming.

In this week's "Tee Hee" of the week, Keith's post had the words "poke" and "butthole" consecutively. I repeat. Tee Hee.

OSU

Well, here we are again. Another season where expectations failed to be met, and we sit on the cusp of another conference championship. I guess I'm a bit arrogant thinking this isn't enough, after all my freshman year we won two games (waaayyy back). In other words it could be worse I guess. None of it changes the fact that we have to win on the road at Stillwater for the second year in a row with the conference on the line. Seems tough.

OSU seems to do everything well that we struggle against, namely throw it a shitload for a ton of yardage and points. Nevermind that their QB has been able to buy the team beer since most of them were in junior high, their good regardless. As much as like to make fun of his age, he's been damn good this year and so is their offense in general. Our best hope is to win a shootout again, and with the weapons we've lost I'm not sure we can. It will be awfully hard for us to score enough given our defenses performance against offenses of this type. Lonnie will need to play two halves like the first one he played against Texas for us to have a chance. If that happens the rivers may run backwards and my jockey's may be permanently stained.

OSU losing to Iowa State does not help us at all. The fact that this is their first game since then further defecates on our chances. I sure hope we can do this, but make no mistake, this is the best team we've played all season and they've got revenge on their minds from last season. In other words, all of the intangible "if I were betting on this game" chips go in their favor. I don't like it one bit. I just hope Bobby can mindfuck Gundy enough again to pull this thing out.

Offense

I'm at a loss here. There are many limbs I'd like to go out on, but I'm scared shitless I'll jinx that player into oblivion and we won't hear from the all day, or worse they'll have a leg amputated on the 34 (I'm fucking crazy, FYI). I'd like to say Shitbag, I really would. But let's be honest, he hasn't exactly taken the leadership role and ran with it. If anyone has stepped up, I have to say it's Roy Finch. He's played well, and honestly I'm not sure anyone on the team goes as hard each down as him. He's the anti-Sooner this season. He gets more out of himself than anyone else. As a result, I'm spitting in the wind here and going against my jinx prophecy. It's Finch today for OU. I think he catches a few passes, makes something out of nothing more than once, and even picks up some tough yards on short plays. Please let me be right.

Defense

Here, I've been going to the same well for most of the year, save the last few games. Perhaps not coincidentally our defense has been suspect ever since I started going to different "wells" in order to make "smarter" picks and mix things up (did I mention I often masturbate in my own feces?). With that arousing image dancing in your cerebrum, I shift back to my bread and butter this week. It's too important, and I really can't fault myself for going with who I think has been the best defensive player in the conference, Big Frank. (can we agree, with two games left in his career, that he's just Big Frank? Can we? No really, can we?). I think Big Frank is rainboot deep in Weeden's crusty ass all day. I think I get an inappropriate erection that I have to "hide" in my waistband more than once. I like this idea very much.

Overall, I have my doubts here. I've never been this pessimistic (hard to believe) about a Bedlam game. In my memory, this is the most overmatched we've been going in, or equally matched, whatever you choose. It will take our best effort from every aspect of the game, and we'll have to play our most complete game of the season. Anything less, and we'll spend the next year hearing about this again. I'm not sure what I really think, but I'm going with OU. I have no choice. I'm a hopeless optimist with this team, and it will never change. We are talented enough and if it wasn't for years of being letdown at the most unsuspecting times I'd be downright confident. Enough. OU wins it, barely, 31-28.

Let's get out there and roll some fucking heads.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

Bedlam

Bedlam. It sucks that this one isn't "the most important football game in Oklahoma history". Though, for OSU, it still is. As I've snarkily pointed out to every Poke fan I know this week, all the hopes and dreams of Cowboys fans and players are right there in front of them. Manifest Destiny and all that.

A Cowboy win would mean the first Big 12 Championship in school history (and the first outright conference championship since prohibition). The first BCS bid in school history. An outside shot at the first title game in school history.

Noooooo pressure.

That sound you just heard was the collective puckering of Poke buttholes.

All season long OSU had the mental advantage in this one. If there is one silver lining to the Sooners losing two games and being out of contention for the title it's that they now have, hopefully, a mental edge.

OU is now the underdog with nothing to lose. Everyone has written them off. They seem destined for a craptacular bowl game. But with one more spectacular effort they can rip the guts out of Little Brother on their own field.

No Big 12 Championship. No BCS. No title shot.

Sooner fans have to hope that the same Sooner team that showed up at Florida State, Texas and Kansas State will show up in Stillwater. Regrettably, this years Sooner squad has played to the level of its competition. Please God let them rise to the occasion today.

OFFENSE

It's Landry Jones. I hope he leaves for the NFL. He is the penultimate system QB. He leaves 120 yards on the table every week with his terrible screen passes. But we need him today. We really need him to not shit his pants and to not make inexplicably awful decisions. Make smart decisions, easy throws and let the run game do the heavy lifting. All he has to do is manage the game because the unit under the gun in this one is the defense.

DEFENSE

Great Oden's Beard these bastards need to show up today. OSU wants to turn the ball over. They love it. Brandon Weeden is not averse to making terrible decisions. Justin Blackmon made one of the dumbest football plays I've ever seen against Texas A&M and is not immune to fumbling. Joseph Randle really likes being careless with the football.

The Sooner D needs to embrace these tendencies. What they don't need to do is let the Pokes run roughshod or let receivers get behind the safeties. In general they should not give up the "Big Play". Unfortunately, they've done just that in spades all year long.

The Sooners will sorely miss Ronnel "The Hammer" Lewis. Now I'm hearing Big Frank Alexander might be out. Um, that sucks.

I'm going for Tom Wort. He's been playing well. Maybe he can get some pressure on Weeden. I think that's the key. Maybe Venables blitzes with Tommy. I actually feel pretty good about this.

THE SCORE

I'm really, really hoping for a defensive score for the Sooners. I think Landry can get a couple TD throws. Jaz Hands Reynolds will be back so that will be a huge help. The run game has been pretty stellar at times recently. I think the Sooners can get 35. That should be enough to win. But....

The D has given up big plays all season long. It's unfortunately their stock and trade. So, count on the Cowboys getting a few. Likewise, Landry could do something dumb and hand the Pokes a score on a platter. I think they take advantage.

Also, Bobby is 6-0 versus Mike "I'm a Man!" Gundy in season ending games. This fact is not lost on the Poke faithful. They are legitimately afraid of Bobby.

OU 35, OSU 24

Oh boy, this one's big. Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.

Iowa State

Well, fuck. I don't have much other sentiment about the season at this point. OK, not true I have more. I will say this, I think I'm writing this piece with the least excitement I've had in the history of this blog. I feel like I've gone over it a thousand times, but I'm just tired of losing because of defense. Nothing is more frustrating as a fan. Losing 7-6 is better 100 times out of 100, I think. I truly think Venables sucks, I'm guessing that you know that if you read this ever. I've heard some talk of Mike Stoops coming back on. I'm not sure if that's a pipe-dream (probably), but Bobby hasn't exactly stomped the rumors out either so that makes me excited.

Anyway, last week we once again shit ourselves just when we were poised to get in the thick of the national title discussion. Those fuckholes in Stillwater didn't do us any favors the night before but it was all moot after our defense never got off the plane in Waco. Moving on, here comes an ISU team that I know little about. I think I heard their QB has only started a handful of games and is pretty green. However, I think they've done notably better since making the switch at QB. But it may not matter anyway, as we're just as likely to get beat by them as anyone else, we've proven that much this season. With that healthy dose of pessimism in mind, I'll counter with the fact that I think we'll win. If we manage to lose this one, I think this easily goes down as the most disappointing season of the Stoops era given the expectations and talent. Hell it might be anyway.

Offense

I'm not going to beat around said bush here, I'm going with Fuckin' Shitbag. He's hard. He's currently the best player on our offense, and I think he plays big today. Injuries have really taken their toll on both sides of the ball, but particularly offense. I think with so many people down, Lonnie has to find a new security blanket and who better than our most talented receiver who'll also be back next year.  Fuckin' Shitbag goes for 100+ and two touches today. That's right, two.

Defense

Over here, I picked Ronnell last week and he got hurt, so that sucks. It's senior day and I'm going with Old Steady today. I think he goes out in style his last home game. Big day, with 10+ tackles and a forced turnover of some sort. That's right, I'm thinking damn big on both sides of the ball. Fuck it.

I really do think this ISU team is pesky, and I think they'll hang around a bit. However, it is senior day and I think the boys are ready. I think we pound them as they day goes and all of a sudden the Cyclones look up and realize they're getting horsewhipped. I think that we punish them to the tune of 56-17. Now lets go out and look the team we were supposed to be and get tuned up for what will likely be the de facto conference championship next weekend.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

OU vs. Iowa State

It wasn't that long ago when this OU - Iowa State tilt was a mere formality. A final tune-up for Bedlam and the biggest game of all time. A winner take all trip to the national title game.

Oh, those were the days! We were young and fancy free. We were sheltered from the cruel realities of a harsh and unjust college football landscape. We were naive in thinking these Sooners were worthy of a title shot.

Hardy-fucking-har.

It's hilarious to look back and think this Sooner defense might be some kind of juggernaut. "The best of the Stoops era" some thought. Shit that's rich. You know who has played consistently well on this defense? Ronnell "The Hammer" Lewis (now injured), Big Frank Alexander and Jamel Fleming. That's it. Last week it just happened to be Javon Harris's turn to look the shittiest.Everyone has played a part in this debacle though.

Last week I mentioned the different phases of the season. I forgot one. It's the one where Sooner Nation starts calling for Brent Venables job. That call is getting loud and if things don't go well the next two weeks it will reach full throat. Our boy Travis texted during the game last week that he wasn't renewing his tickets next year if Venables is on the sideline and he was serious.

Venables's bend but don't break defense is, on rare occasions, awesome. But when it's off my God it's terrible and the lack of adjustment is infuriating. Last week the Sooners got beat deep no less than five times. The Sooners never even saw it coming and never seemed inclined to do anything about it. I didn't read any interviews or watch the coach's show but I'm sure there was lots of talk about just being out of position, not knowing assignments and that sort of blame on the players. Whatever. At times this defense hasn't looked ready to play and it's the job of the coaches to have them ready.

Enough.

Sooner Nation needs to wipe the collective snot off its face and get ready for the ballgame this week. Iowa State boasts brings a Quarterback who has three starts under his belt. He can occassionally complete a forward pass (always gives us fits) and they have the biggest rah-rah coach in the conference. If the Sooners have a woe-is-me attitude who knows what'll happen.

I'm worried about Iowa State. That's how far we've come!

OFFENSE

Lost in the rubble of a bombed out 2011 Sooner campaign is the heart and guts the offense has shown pretty much all year. At times they've been ineffective but they've never given up. They've never looked totally lost. Last week they should have run the ball more. But they make plays and they scrap and they put up enough points that they should win every game if they had a defense that was worth a shit.

Get ready for a steady dose of running the football. The wind is howling today. That makes Stoops nervous. That said, I'm going with Brandon Williams. He looked good last week and he has to have a breakout game at some point this year. Today is the day.


Before I forget, how about the Belldozer? Dude is an animal. Like last week I probably should pick him. The Sooners would have scored on that two-point conversion as well. Book it.

DEFENSE

Oh, c'mon Maw, do I have to pick someone? Can't I boycott? I'm going to go with a Senior since it's Senior day. That means it's Big Frank, Travis Old Steady Lewis or Jamel Fleming. I'll go with Old Steady. The Iowa State passing attack really should be useless so Old Steady should have a chance to make a number of plays. Will he? I don't know! That's why they play the games.

THE SCORE

I just don't know. This jekyl and hyde defense has me doubting things I thought were infallible. True to my nature I will turn a blind eye to reality and cling to the hope that our best team shows up. The defense will play decent enough to win. The offense will not get too spooked by the wind and the Sooners will win just like they are supposed to.

OU 42, Iowa State 24

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

Baylor

Though it's only been one week off from posting, I feel as though it's been longer. The last time I "published" something on here I was tailgating on the cusp of attending my first Sooner game in far too long. That, by the way, was bad fucking ass. However, if one thing could have pissed on my lunch box (aside from a loss) it was Broyles getting hurt and being out for the game/week/season/career. Shit.  

Needless to say, that is big loss seeing as he is out for all of the former with "a knee". If that wasn't enough, we snuck back into the national title race (albeit barely), only to have those hopes obliterated by an incompetent OSU squad last night. Rest assured however, that they will look like world beaters in two weeks when we come to town. Their loss nearly guarantees us no chance at the title game even if we win out. 

Tonight offers a serious road test, and frankly I'm a bit nervous about it. Baylor is better than their record, and much better when playing at home. RG3 is really good, and if he played for almost any team apart from Baylor he would probably be a serious Heisman contender. Our defense certainly has it's work cut out.

The good news is we've had two weeks to prepare for them. While it is on the road, I don't know that Baylor is exactly the Terrordome of collegiate sports. I certainly hope we come ready, and I hope Venables took the time to come up with a decent game plan rather than just going with the base package come hell or high water. Moreover, I hope he adjusts if things are't working out, but after a decade of not adjusting I'm not sure why tonight would be the watershed moment.

OK, I'm rambling. I'm half drunk from last night and really have no idea where any of this is going. I'm pretty sure that's the exact recipe for a "shitty read". On to the picks.

Offense

Man, without Broyles in there it really opens things up, and maybe not in a good way. We've lost our two best offensive weapons this season. What I'm really hoping for is that Broyles' injury induces the Ewing Factor for our offense (not going to explain that, if you read Bill Simmons when he was good you know, but suffice it to say it's a good thing: dba false hope). I really want to go with Fuckin' Shitbag today, I really do. However, I'm feeling a bit feisty and going with a guy who has been coming on of late and picking Jaz "hands" Reynolds (try to do jazz hands after he makes a play and not like it, go ahead, try). He has been coming on strong and I think he breaks out for real today. 100+ and at least one touch.

Defense

As you all know, I'm horny for Frank Alexander (in the truck driver/lumberjack manly sort of way). He has just been dominant all season. But, on the opposite side of the D-line the Hammer has been almost quietly as good if not better. With that in mind, I'm pick the Hammer today. His first ever nomination from me. In fact, coupled with my pick on offense, I've stepped out of my usual realm today. I think we see Ronnell get after RG3 today, and bury his shifty ass more than once. I love that.

As for the score, I'm a little torn here. On one hand I can see it being a track meet given the two offenses (and defenses). However I feel like that often those types of games go the other way. Couple that with the fact that I think our offense needs a little time to get it's footing post-Broyles and I think it's lower scoring than most would think. Also, I think that with the OSU loss fresh in our minds, we may not be as "up" for it as normal given that our national title hopes are probably gone. I like us in this, one but I think it's a tough win. OU takes this one in a battle 27-20. 

Let's beat these motherfuckers, and let's at least make it hard for the assholes to decide who should play in the national championship. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

OU vs. Baylor

It's been a hell of a couple weeks. Since we last wrote in this space the following events occurred in college football: The Penn State Child Rape scandal, Mizzou's Gary Pinkel got a DWI, a Syracuse basketball coach got accused of being a pederast and a plane crash killed OSU women's basketball coach Kurt Budke.

"WTF"

On the football field, the Sooners lost their Offensive wunderkind, Ryan Broyles. Undefeated Stanford got smoked by Oregon. The Cowboys went ahead and looked like ass against Iowa State and got beat. In so doing, Brandon Weeden bequeathed his Heisman hopes (not too sad about it but I wish OU could have done this for him) and the Cowboys threw a serious wrench in OU's title game chances.

We are in the next to final act of the college football season. Act 1 was leading ourselves to believe there were so many good teams we might see 4 go undefeated and all the BCS speculation that goes along with it. Act 2 had some of those unbeatables losing and people believing that the shakeout was complete. There was anticipation in knowing that the remaining contenders would simply play out the string before meeting to decide it all. We're now in Act 3 which is the most fun. All the experts look like assholes because teams keep losing. It's the "Oh shit what's gonna happen" portion of our season where everyone has to win and everyone needs everyone else to lose and then we'll wait and see what the judges deem the best matchup. All of a sudden we've gone from possibly having 4 undefeated's to determining who's the best 1 loss team. It happens every year.

That's college football.

And now our 1 loss Sooners find themselves in Waco, Texas to face those wacky Baptists of Baylor. Prior to the season I was fairly nervous about this one. Last year I felt the Sooners really dodged a bullet when they played a Robert Griffin III-free Bears team. RGIII is a badass. His numbers this year are PlayStation esque.  Through his first 6 games he had some ludicrous stat like more TD's than incompletions. Unheard of.

He's come down to earth since. The Bears have gone on to lose 3 but  RGIII is still on many Heisman watch lists. He is, without a doubt, the heart and soul of the Bears. The Baylor offense is prodigious and the Sooners will have their hands full.

On the other hand (or, OTOH in text speak) the Sooners offense find themselves in the unenviable position of having to redefine themselves mid-season. Gone is the safety blanket of Broyles and the ho-hum reliability of his 14 catch, 170 yard performances. This loss is huge and cannot be understated. Lonnie Jones's world just got shaken and that's bad. Me no rikey nervous Lonnie. Kenny Fuckin Shitbag Stills is a Number 1 receiver on most any other team but Sooner fans are fooling themselves if they think the loss of Broyles will be completely made up for.

There is good news. It looks like the Baylor defense is pretty shitty so praise Jehovah the Sooners have what appears to be a fine opportunity to work out the kinks of this newish offense before Bedlam.

OFFENSE

Obviously the key is how does Lonnie play without his bosom chum and safety blanket? Which Wide Receiver(s) step up? To what degree does the offense change?

I think Lonnie will be fine the next two weeks. Kenny Fuckin Shitbag is a badass as we all know. Jaz Hands Reynolds has come on "in a great way" this year. It looks like DeJuan Miller will get the first crack at being the new 3rd wheel. If DeJuan doesn't work out there's always Trey Franks and Kameel Jackson.

My head tells me to pick a RB because I think the Sooners will come to rely on the ground game a bit more. But my head doesn't know what the hell it's talking about. The pick here is Kenny Fuckin Shitbag. He's clutch and has the swagger of a number 1 guy. Now there's no deferring to one of the all-time Sooner greats. The moment is his, the time is now.

The real wise pick might be the Belldozer. Dude brah is a force of nature.

DEFENSE

It's pretty simple. Stop Robert Griffin III. The hard part is stopping Robert Griffin III. It will take a total team effort.

Since I really have nothing else to add (This article is free. You get what you pay for) I'm going all heart here. I'm taking a page out of Navin's playbook and picking Big Frank Alexander. Blood flows to my groin region when Big Frank wreaks havoc on the football field. And he's wreaked a lot of havoc this football season. But I haven't picked him too much. So here it is.

THE SCORE

In my perfect scenario (read: Crimson Colored Glasses) I see the Sooners offense as a wounded and cornered animal. They lost their best running back. Now they've lost their best player. What's left is a group that must throw the kitchen sink at the opposing defense to be successful. Implementing the Bulldozer is evidence of this mentality. Now it's taken a step forward. So, it's conceivable we could see a pretty dynamic offense with no page of the playback left un-turned. That's my hope. In reality I think the Sooners look good these next two weeks in a false confident sort of way. By that I mean their opponents just aren't up to snuff. The offense looks like it hasn't missed a beat but they won't have really been tested. Who cares though. It's all about winning football games right now.

Defensively all I care about it making RGIII look human. Do that and we hold them under 30 points and we win.

OU 35, Baylor 17

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

A&M

Well, I'm officially at the Sooners tailgate and I really couldn't be happier. I'm attempting to bang this out on my phone, aka worst case scenario. In turn, this is going to be unusually short. I'm fairly nervous about this one. These guys are better than their record indicates. They've lost their games by what seems like a collective 5 points or some shit. Anyway, we have our work cut out for us.

Offense

I don't know who to go with here really but as the season goes on it's becoming increasingly obvious that Broyles is the "safe" pick. That said I'm going with Kenny fuckin' shitbag Stills. I like him, I love him, I want some more of him.

Defense

Over here I think I'm going to go with Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson. I think he is an animal and unlike K-State they have a dynamic offense. With that in mind, I think Tony will have multiple opportunities to to make plays, and I think he'll respond.

So the score here is tricky but I really do think that our guys are pissed off about last year. I think the Sooners take this one 38-24.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner!

I See Your Bullets and Raise Ye Bullets

I seen that Navin put together some bullets mid-week. That's the kind of hard hitting journalistic gim-gam that will take this blog places. Well played.

Not to be outdone here's some thoughts of my own:

• This is a big week for the Steamroller. This blog's co-authors are going to be together, in person, in Norman for the A&M tilt. There's gonna be a party y'all. If you'd like to meet up, get autographs, touch our sleeves, etc. hit us up. We'll be hanging out in Norman long after the ballgame to watch the LSU-Bama national championship semifinal. After that Navin will be hosting a writer's workshop on drunk blogging. It's "can't miss". 
• I have an idea for filling the void left by Dom Whaley. Trey Millard and Roy Finch doing their best Thunder/Lightning impersonation. They can be on the field together in multiple formations. They both can line up virtually anywhere, and both are dependable. I'm not opposed to sprinkling in some Brennan Clay and Brandon Williams but I think the combo of Millard and Finch deserves about 25 carries. Finch obviously is picking up a lot of the load but Millard has more than earned some touches. Dude is a beast. My father-in-law seems to think Millard will move to Tight End next year. 
• Didn't think I'd be saying it but it sure was nice to have Tom Wort on the field again. He tied for the team lead in tackles and had two sacks. If the Sooners can get Jamelle Fleming back they'll be in business.
• Navin already mentioned the defense but it seems their effort has gone underappreciated. They held a top 10 team, in a hostile road environment to one first down in the second half. Kansas had about 10 yards in the second half against them. When this defense is on I'd put them up against anyone in the country.
• Jaz Reynolds is a bad motherfucker. He continues to improve and has become the 3rd receiver everyone thought the Sooners needed to make things easier for Ryan Broyles and Kenny Fuckin Shitbag Stills. 
• Speaking of Broyles, is there a craftier carrier of the football than him? They way he uses the sideline is incredible. You think there's no way he stays in bounds and next he's gone 20 yards for a score. The Sooners are going to miss him.

This:

Tony Motherfuckin Jefferson and Kenny Fuckin Shitbag Still as Caped Crusaders

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

Bullets for those short on time

• That game last week was amazing really. Granted their offense is the kind we typically shut down, but to our credit apart from a period in the first half where we lost consciousness we did just that. One first down in the second half? Wow.
• Dom Whaley, out for the season. That really blows, we really don't have a legit type back that is proven aside from him. Brandon Williams probably will be someday, but he isn't now. While Roy Finch and Brennan Clay do a nice job, I think it's pretty clear that they're not a pure RB like Whaley was. For the bitter sweet note of the day, at least he's finally on scholarship. 
• Games like that make the Tech game all the more puzzling. I just can't fathom how we lost that. Clemson going down helped us for sure, but it feels like Stanford escaped their close call for the year, and honestly after the Tech game I have my doubts as to whether or not we'll even win out. Our schedule isn't exactly a creampuff from here on out. Even after all of that, it's also hard to believe us passing a one loss Alabama/LSU given how good their collective cocks taste to the media.
• Finally, I've woken up every morning with matted pubes and my underwear glued to my thighs in anticipation of heading to Norman this weekend. It's my first trip in far too long to say the least. I couldn't be more fired up about seeing all of the boys and taking in a Sooners game in person. Until then...

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

K-State

Well, that really sucked hard last week. Nothing is better than having the national championship out of the picture in mid-october. I didn't watch the game and thanks to the rain delay my DVR missed it as well. Turns out that was a good thing. From what I read, it sounds like the offense wasn't in sync early, but make no mistake, if you score 38 points and lose, the offense isn't the main problem. Fucking Venables. I'm sorry, but with the talent we have year in year out, it shouldn't be over a decade since our last title. And let's face it, our offense has scored a shitload of points every year since probably the Paul Thompson season. Anyway, enough dwelling on that. It fucking sucked last week, but nothing is left to do now but hopefully win out.

If you've read this at all the last few weeks, you'll know I'm pretty nervous about this one today. K-State, isn't dominant but they do the right things, by playing solid D and not turning the ball over. Simply doing those two things will keep anyone in nearly any game. As such, we need to come ready to do the same thing today. I'd like to see Gabe Lynn horsewhipped on the field prior to the game and then benched permanently. It's now official in my eyes, though I need to discuss it with Mitch, that Gabe Lynn is the first Matt McCoy memorial Gas Rag recipient in several seasons.  Considering shifting a safety (Aaron Colvin) over to replace him turned out to be a huge upgrade says a lot.

As for today, I think we'll be coming out looking to kick some ass after last week. I hope that we can do it in a tough road environment.

Offense

I don't really know who to go with here, but I'm going with one of my favorite players. I'm going with Kenny Fuckin' Shitbag Stills today. I think he's due, and he has seemed to play well in hostile environments. Here's to hoping he does it again today.

Defense

Today I'm going with Old Steady. K-State appears to like to run the ball quite a bit. As a result I think that Old Steady will make roughly one shitload of tackles today. Not sure he gets a turnover, but I think he'll be all over the place today, and I think he's damn pissed about last week to boot.

I'm nervous about this one, I think it will be tough as hell to win here. However, I think that after last week we'll be ready. I think OU wins a tough one here today, 31-28. My ass is puckered, but let's give these fuckers a much needed defeat and get back on track.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

OU vs. K-State

Last week was an abomination. Gabe Lynn got torched so bad that Brent Vanables had to use a fire blanket to pull the lad's scorched corpse off the field. The Sooners tackling was atrocious but it's hard to say it was worse than their ability to shed blocks. The offense lacked imagination until it was too late. 5 consecutive three and outs is impossible to imagine. But it happened. Then there was the oft-maligned kicking game.

Was it a lack of motivation or Texas Tech just playing a great game? Is OU a bad team? Injuries? I can't believe it was a motivation issue. With each passing week the ultimate prize is one week closer. Even a 19 year old should be able to grasp that pretty easily.

Let's face facts: The Sooners looked average against Mizzou. They looked great against an inferior texas team. They looked average against a woeful Kansas team. And they gave up 41 points at home to a Texas Tech team that barely lost to Kansas State and Texas A&M.

Next up for the Sooners? Kansas State and Texas A&M. Oh my geez.

This week is make or break.

The matchup with K-State was already looming large but now it sets the tone the rest of the way. Lose, and nothing that lies ahead is easy save an Iowa State home game. Win, and confidence is renewed going into next week with another big one against A&M.

One last gripe about last week. The game started late and the weather sucked but by the time the Sooners were going for an onsides kick there were about 20,000 people left in the stadium. OU fans are the worst. 65,000 "faithful" were happy to bail and the oft criticized student section was never full.

OFFENSE

I'm tempted to pick Roy Finch because he played so well last week and I have no idea if Dom Whaley will be back. On the other hand I seem to be on a run of jinxing whomever I pick. In that vein I'll go with James Hanna. That way if I'm wrong it'll be so right because anytime the Sooners remember you can attempt a forward pass to a Tight End good things usually happen. And if I'm wrong it'll be just like every other game and Broyles and Kenny Fuckin Shitbag can get theirs again.

DEFENSE

I'm just going to come out with it: Demontre Hurst. Last week he actually got picked on a little bit and the Red Raiders had some success. So I think K-State will try it since they saw it on film and I think Hurst bounces back.

Let me also just say how desperately this Defense needs to get its swagger back. After ball-hawking the first 5 weeks the Sooner D has forced exactly 0 turnovers the last two weeks.

THE SCORE

I'm more nervous about this game than any other all season (that's straight from the whodathunkit files). K-State is going to be quite interested in beating some Sooner ass and ripping their spirits apart. We'll see the true measure of this Sooner football team today.

I think they'll do just enough. Josh Heupel will be playing keep away from the K-State offense. The Defense has been humbled. The coaches know they share in the blame of last week. Bobby Stoops and Venables will want to beat their Bill "Mock Turtleneck" Snyder.

Their should be no lack of hunger for anyone on the Sooner sideline. I think this could be a vicious, physical game.

Sooners 31 - K-State 24

Tip them PBR's and Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

Unprecedented

For those interested, Mitch and I make a point not to A) discuss our picks prior to making them and/or B) read one another's "piece" prior to writing our own. That said, I just read his "piece" after writing mine and we were a Sooner touchdown away from having an unprecedented first ever identical picks day.

Just sayin'...

Tech

Back again for another week of Sooner football, this time v. Texas Tech. Though not the pass happy yard hogs of the Mike Leach era, these Raiders still put up pretty impressive numbers offensively. And though I haven't bothered to look, naturally, I'm assuming that ours are better offensively. Mostly because few teams who play competition like ours put up our kind of numbers. I don't know much about the defense either, matter of fact I really know dick about the whole Red Raider squad. I know their QB has a last name that is probably hard to pronounce, or at least not obvious from the spelling, and their coach was a failure at his previous job. All of that with the topping of Owen Field spells trouble for their club.

The Sooners are well positioned to dominate in this one. Coming off a lack luster performance against an inferior team, they will be ready to eat babies and and shit on the collective township of Lubbock. However, what is weird is I hope it's closer than it looks like it will be. The reason is, if we run them out of the stadium today to the tune of 56-3 or something that spells trouble. Here's why. Every game we've played this season where we've looked like a team that could win it all, we follow it up with at least one half of shit football the following week (read: Mizzou and Kansas et al). I'm not sure we can survive in Manhattan next week by taking a dump in our socks in the first half of that one. Can you tell I have a bad feeling about next week?

Anyway, today looks promising for the Sooners and really you have to win this one before we can worry about the next, and win I think we will. We have too much on both sides of the ball for them to hang. They will probably score a few on us, but I don't think this one will be too close for comfort. I say all of that with the caveat that last week I would have bet my scrotum that we were up 21 on KU at half, and that game was competitive well into the third quarter, so who the fuck knows.

Offense

I honestly don't know what to do here, I'm hard downstairs for so many players on our offense and defense that's it's getting tough to avoid picking the same two or three each week. However, I'm going with a "safe" pick this week. I don't think I've picked him yet this season and I'm too lazy to go back and look, but this week I'm going with Broyles. In all likelihood I'm a week late with this, but I don't care. He's been lights out all season, and is just putting up huge numbers when everyone knows he's our biggest weapon. That's impressive. I think the crowd will be wet in the crotch to welcome him home after breaking the record and I think he responds.

Defense

This week, I'm getting back to my roots so to speak. I picked him once earlier in the season and lately I just feel like he's playing at a higher level. He's living up to his moniker after a shaky beginning, and I think we see a nice afternoon out of Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson. I see multiple tackles, one forced turnover, and here's the kicker one "wow" play. By wow, I mean we see him in the post-game shower to the tune of 9 inches of deli meat tucked between his legs and bruising his hammie's as he twists back and forth (I've been drinking).

This game looks to be a prime week for a tune up. As I said before Tech can't hang with us. I don't know what the spread is but I think we put a fair amount of points up, and a fair amount more than them at that. They'll get some, but we'll handle it setting up a huge showdown for next weekend. Sooners take this one 49-21.

Let's TCB this week, and get the t's crossed and our lower case j's dotted for the stretch run.


Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

OU vs. Tech

This rabid Sooner fan went to a costume ball last week instead of watching the game. Then, I fat fingered (technical term) my DVR so I pretty much got to see dick of the contest last week. I was able to make it home in time to see the second half thanks in large part to a terribly timed closing of the bar. (Note to future party planners: If you want the party to end just close the bar. It's fool-proof)  It sucked that I missed seeing Ryan Broyles smash the FBS receiving record. But, Navin offered some small measure of consolation by pointing out that, "It'll probably happen again next year".

Praise Jehovah Jireh forYouTube

I'm glad I missed the defense's uninspired first half. Lazy dumb crap wears me out more than anything anyways. The second half was where it was at on that side of the ball. 

So this week offers up a mysterious Texas Tech squad. I still have yet to figure out their identity now that Tommy Tuberville has taken over. I guess they still rack up the yards. I heard their QB is leading the league (maybe nation) in total offense. I'd look it up but it's Texas Tech. Those are 10 seconds I might not get back.

I do know Tech has lost two games in a row, presumably to the only decent competition they've faced. Those two teams are K-State and A&M which OU has not played. So, tough to compare.

All of my confidence derives from the fact that this game is at home. It's been a while since the boys played at Owen Field. It will be nice to see them again in person and I'm sure my feelings are reciprocated by the squad. Also note: Texas Tech does not play the Sooners well in Norman.

Are you picking up what I'm putting down here? These are all glad tidings.

OFFENSE

I was a great date at the costume ball. I grabbed a beer and a chair and proceeded to watch ESPN Gamecast on my phone. I was able to keep up with what has to be one of the statistically poorer games of Lonnie's career. He started off 0-4. That never happens. System QB's don't go 0-4 during any stretch in this OU offense. Quoth Charles Barkley, "That's Turrible".

A home game is the tonic for Lonnie's game. I'm not picking him though. Hell no. Navin and I are now seeing things eye to eye on Lonnie.

 You can also mark it down that whomever I pick will play sparingly, if at all, and will have little to no impact on the outcome of the football game.

So I'm picking Ryan Broyles. He's a can't miss. If he catches less than 10 balls and goes for less than 150 then I'll just yank my telegraph right out of the wall fling my iPad 2 like a frisbee and give up this weblog business. I kid. My public needs me.

DEFENSE

Jamell Fleming is out. Not that I would pick him anyways but I wanted to prove I could read the scrolling ribbon on ESPNNews. I'm happy to let Navin have dibs on Franky Alexander.

I'll go with Tony Motherfuckin Jefferson. He nearly had 4 INT's the last time the Sooners were at home. A spread attack is where he makes hay. He's a gentleman, a scholar and hell of a guy. Works for me.

THE PICK

On paper last week was business as usual and expected. Everyone knows better. The Sooners have to be more consistent and have better execution. That's bad news for Tech.

It's not as close as the score would indicate but the Sooners come out on top 42-21.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner. Tip them PBR's

Tuesday Thoughts

Well, mere hours after I gave him the highest of praise, Lonnie regressed to the system QB I often detest. So many missed balls in the first half especially. It's crazy really, he'd miss a pass to wide open receiver that was as simple as a game of backyard catch one down, then follow it up by threading the needle on some 30 yard crossing pattern. I can't figure him out, and maybe that's just it. He's simply inconsistent as hell. Next week, he'll look like a world-beater again at home. However, I'm getting more and more nervous about that game at KSU in two weeks. That crowd will be hostile, that team is built on defense, and Lonnie on the road generally spells poor performance.

As for the defense on Saturday, it was truly a jekyll and hyde performance. They looked fairly disinterested in the first half and allowed a generally terrible KU team to hang around. To their credit however, they looked dominant once again in the second half allowing a total of six (6!!) yards. That is beyond Playstation numbers.

Also, how about Broyles. Not just breaking the all-time national receptions record but absolutely shattering it. I also thought it was pretty fucking sweet that the coaches dialed him up for a bomb on the record breaker. That was a pass that Lonnie couldn't have thrown better, perfectly in stride and Broyles broke away easily. Props on that shit, I'm interested to see how much distance he can put between himself and Stubblefield now.

Speaking of nice performances, Whaley again looked hard. 30 for 165 is damn good, and it proves he's gone beyond a co-feature back to being the workhorse. Granted, Brennan Clay is clearly more hurt than anyone is admitting, but Finch got meaningful carries (and was a great change-up, looked like last season) and Whaley still ran it 30 times. I'm not sure one back hasn't gotten that many carries since AD was on campus.

This Saturday should be a good one, the Sooners feature a decent Tech team in Norman. More to come on that later in the week however.

OU vs. Kansas

Boy this one stacks up pretty one-sided. I don't think Kansas is good at anything. I wasted a few minutes of my life watching them early in the season and the KU Defense looked like they dressed out part of the KU marching band.

For OU this one is about two things. First, no texas hangover. The good news (and I am vigorously knocking on wood as I type) is that Bobby Stoops's Sooner teams have never lost the game after texas.

Second, keep everyone healthy. There will be no good excuse for Landry Jones playing more than a series in the second half if this one goes as expected.

This game is not appealing at all. That said, how bout them Sooners last week? Damn they looked good. And, as of this writing, those same longhorns who got taken behind the woodshed last week gave OSU a bit of a game. So, I think that makes what the Sooners did look a tad better.

As previously reported on this website early on in the season, our defense is fucking hard. They are running all over the football like a bunch of scald ass apes. They really managed to "get their hands on a lot of balls" didn't they?

OFFENSE

Because this game is expected to be a snooze I'm going on a limb here. No, I won't be picking Roy damn Finch. That limb snapped mercifully. No I'm taking Brandon Williams. He should get 20 carries and I'd like to see some razzle dazzle. "Feel me"?

Also, I'm going to go ahead and pencil in Ryan Broyles for 7 catches, 159 yards.

DEFENSE

Hmmm. This really could be anybody. Everyone should have some success today. I guess I'll go ahead and say Ronnell "The Hammer". I don't think I've picked him yet and he seems due.

This needs to look like PlayStation set on Rookie

THE RESULT

I guess what I am most looking forward to see is how the O-Line works the running game. The run game is the weakest link so far so let's get that shored up.

I don't guess I've got much else to say this week.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner y'all.

Kansas

On the heels of one of the more enjoyable, if not closely competitive, OU texas games of recent memory, we face what will probably be the worst team we play all season (yes I'm aware Ball State was on the schedule). Looking back at last week briefly, I have very little to complain about shockingly. From the credit where it's due file, Lonnie played without question his best half of football as a Sooner. His throws were on time, accurate and he calmly handled pressure. Took a sack and even threw one (that I remember) away! If this is the new Lonnie, he may get my offensive MVP before the year is out...but probably not.

What can you say about the defense? They too were straight HARD last week. Frank Alexander has to be coming up in National defensive player of the year talk now. He's been an absolute menace all season, and has emerged in my opinion as the best player on our defense (not a small compliment). I'm pumped to see what they can do against an overmatched KU squad today.

Kansas gave up points in epic fashion to an OSU squad who is looming large on our schedule at this point. (speaking of, KSU looks like it will be a tough win which would have been a laughable thing to say going in to the season). I think it's unreasonable to think we'll put up 70 on them, that just doesn't happen too often against anyone in college. I do however think this one will be over before the clock runs out. We've got too much on both sides of the ball and they, have jack shit as far as I can tell. (true to form, no homework here).

I have no venom for KU in football season (though it's a small redemption to kick their fucking asses seeing as I hate them in basketball season so much, and they're far harder to beat then), it's hard to hate a team that fucking sucks shit. They're never good, and now that Mangino isn't smuggling calzone's under his armpits on the sidelines anymore, they're harder to make fun of. In short, I have little to say about them. On to the picks.

Offense

I went out on a limb last week with James Hanna and was rewarded with one catch for 7 yards, and a dropped pass. Stellar work on my part. I have no intent on going out on said limb again this week. I think Whaley (apart from the 64 yard run) was irritated with being bottled up a lot last week. I think this week he "gets his" as the urban youths are wont to say. Over 100 yards, and two scores. Not a gutsy pick. Nonetheless, I think it will come to fruition.

Defense

Call it foreshadowing (writer speak, don't bother trying), but I'm going with the previously alluded to Frank Alexander. He's poised to break my single season record of most DPG (defensive player of the game, not disrespectful pounding of the gash, though that's good comedy) picks in a year. Really, I don't give a fuck either. I'm hard for him, no two ways about it. I think whoever their QB is gets pummeled a lot today, Frank merely is in on the fun.

Finally, we're favored by I think 37 or something crazy like that. I didn't place any bets, but I do think we'll cover in this one. KU has an epically bad defense, literally the worst in football. That isn't a good recipe for winning against our offense. Big days all around on O, and we win it going away. Brandon Williams might even get to atone for his fumble (didn't do himself any favors for playing time down the stretch there), for which I'm sure coaches gave him a big fucking bowl of "told you so" this week in practice. Sooners dominate 56-10.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

OU vs. Uterus

Damn I hate the Longhorns and I hate them now more than ever because they are ruining my weekdays. Just as recruiting chatter is the bane of my offseason existence, conference realignment speculation is the bane of my gameweeks. And these elitist cockbreaths in Austin are the cause. This week I've had to endure reports that Tulane might be joining the Big 12.

Fucking Tulane?

I'm gagging, barfing and laughing at the same time. I'm laughing so hard I just vomited through my nose and then I vomited so hard I just had to laugh. I even think I wet-farted my pants just know.

Now I've wasted a whole paragraph of my OU-Texas piece not talking real football because of these fuckwits. See how these devils never quit? Let's move on.

I love this matchup for OU. I mean, I'm giddy about it. Here's why:

texas Freshman QB Case McCoy

This Pumpkinhead is texas's starting QB. His Daddy and Mommy are good Texans. They named their boys after a gun and a knife manufacturer, respectively (Colt and Case). "How-do!!, pardner!"

By the way, does anyone want to lay odds that Brent Musberger alludes to this gun and knife business as ABC cuts to commercial following some miracle Case McCoy scramble? 2-1, 3-2? I might, nee will, smash a hole in a wall if this happens. Case is a Freshman and he'll be, "sharing time under Center" with fellow Freshman David Ash. I imagine Brent Venables and the Sooner D are looking forward to giving these two some different looks. In fact, the Sooner D probably feels a little like this guy:

The texas offense leans heavily on the run because Case and Ash (sounds like a Bravo reality show), while accurate by some unknown accounts, are not "gunslingers". They've attempted 55 passes combined on the season. Landry has completed  over twice that many by himself.  Now I've not watched texas (why would I?) enough to call them one dimensional, but they aren't as potent a spread as Mizzou either. All this to say that the Sooner defense is predicated on making their opponents one dimensional. When an opponent does this for them it plays heavily into the Sooners favor (see picture above).

The Sooners have already been forged by fire. Texas has not. The Sooners played well in a very hostile environment in Prime Time and left town victorious (FSU for any knotheads who might be reading. Wait! I didn't mean it, please don't leave the site, we need you). Also, the Sooners dealt with a pretty feisty Mizzou squad. It took a miracle for texas to pass it's only test of the season, at home, against BYU.

Finally, Mack Brown just doesn't have the bullets in his gun. He's playing about 15 freshmen and none of them are named Vince Young. He has almost an entirely new coaching staff. Normally I'd be scared that the horns might have that "back to the wall" mentality but not here. Not with Mack Brown. He just doesn't want to get embarrassed.

OFFENSE

How could I go against Dom Whaley? Sure, I Iignored him for three weeks. I prentended he existed only as motivation for Roy Finch. But Dom Whaley is easily the Sooners' best weapon outside of Ryan Broyles. The fact you have a triumvirate of Landry, Whaley and Broyles makes me feel good. This group of talent is as perfect a trifecta as any collegiate football team could hope for.

I'm taking Whaley just because someone on the Sooners Offense has to step up. No one can make a difference quite like Dominique.  Choosing Broyles is too easy. Also, choosing Landry is unacceptable. Landry is bound to throw some picks and do some stupid shit. As always, his numbers will be gaudy but you'll be left wondering what might have been.

Dom Whaley is a great story. But if you isolate him to this game he's an ever better story because he's going to be the player that people have heard of but haven't experienced. This game always has a Cinderella story Now is his opportunity. Someone has to step up.  If it isn't Whaley I'll also accept Kenny Fuckin Shitbag Stills, Jaz Reyonolds or Brandon Williams.

DEFENSE

The worst thing that can happen to the Sooner Defense is for texas to have success running the football. If they can do that twice in consecutive series, the Sooners could lose confidence.I'm not terbbibly worried about it. This defense and team is resilient. They can get popped in the mouth and hit right back.

With Travis Old Steady Lewis wearing Number 12 I really can't pick against him. His enthusiasm will be off the charts. I'd also like to pick Tony Motherfuckin Jefferson but my gut insists on Old Steady.

THE RESULT

OU should have their way. The longhorns have earned nothing.Their undefeated record is probably the weakest in college football. Yet, they are texas and have nearly found themselves in the Top 10. The good news for the Sooners is that, for at least this Saturday, this victory will look a lot better than it actually is. Good news for people who like polls and realignment chatter.

OU 35 Texas 17

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

OU-texas

Another year has passed and we are on the cusp of another OU texas game. It is simultaneously the game that gets me the most pumped up and the most nervous. While I do appreciate being in the position of the favorite and what that means, I hate the pressure being on us with them having something to prove. Luckily, this isn't usually a game that either team looks past, regardless of ranking.

If you're reading this, you know the stories. Throw the rankings out, etc. Though the Oklahoman went to great lengths to illustrate that the rankings DO matter, I still call bullshit. This game is always close regardless of rankings, and close plays come down to momentum shifts and turnovers, and rankings don't mean shit for those two things.

texas is greatly improved this year. Although, they were pure shit last year, so that isn't terribly monumental. Maybe it would be more appropriate to say they are more like teams of the past. However, they are quite young, notably at the skill positions and in the secondary. To me this is the huge advantage for us. Experience goes a long way in this game and in this atmosphere. That said, I think it will be a close game.

I know last week I made a point of Ikard getting tested at center. In hindsight, I probably brought that out a week early as this week he looks to face some legit division I tackles. texas is big and fast up front, our line will be tested. Additionally, by all accounts, they like to blitz a lot. The biggest question I have in this one is how Lonnie will react to the blitz and being under duress. If it's anything like he's reacted in the first four games, it will go a long way toward keeping texas in this. He has, I repeat, HAS to handle pressure better. There has been a fair amount of talk about how he's only been sacked once. Credit the O-line certainly, but I could avoid sacks too if I took a snap and blindly threw off my back foot at the first sign of a blitz (read: 5 Int's). Lonnie has to give his O-line a chance to protect against the blitz, furthermore he needs to utilize that time to go through a progression and actually find an open receiver. If that means getting sacked or throwing one out of bounds on occasion that's cool. I think our defense can be trusted, so it's OK to punt if it means avoiding a pick.

That's the other side of the coin. I think our defense comes in ready. Sure, they (their offensive coordinator particularly) have a reputation for trick plays and lots of shifting and motion plays to fuck with the D's heads. However, a key element is they have two first year starters running that shit, so if we can see through all of the movement, my guess is the plays get more simple after the snap. In that vein, I expect to see a healthy dose of all-world freshman Malcolm Brown along with the veteran muppet. We will definitely be fooled a few times, and expect to see them try for a home run at LEAST once in the first quarter (second drive I think) to try to give them momentum/confidence. We need to avoid a slow start and, unlike last year, put them away.

I'm nervous about this one for sure, but I think it stacks up fairly well for us. If we can avoid giving up the big plays and avoid turning it over it bodes very well for us. Those are two big "if's", but I think our defense will be ready and ultimately that will be the key. We have to keep their drives short in order to get our offense (and their defense) back on the field, as I'm guessing they will desire to do precisely the opposite.

Offense

Last week was pretty unbelievable, admittedly against inferior competition, nearly everyone had a huge day. I don't expect that again, but I think we can move the ball on them. I hope Whaley continues his excellent start and has a huge day. I think he can for sure, although it will get tougher now as I'm sure teams have started to notice him. I have sort of a gut feeling that we might see a little of Brandon Williams in some meaningful minutes. However, my pick this week is James Hanna. Big and athletic, and has stepped in big games before. With all of our weapons, he seems easy to lose and I think this week he capitalizes.

Defense

I love Frank Alexander and Tony Jefferson here. I think both will have big days, but I'm going with Old Steady this week. It's his last OU-texas game, he's wearing Soggy's number, and his foot is supposed to be fully healed (not that it's slowed him down much). My guess is he's had one of those emergency boners you hear about on the Viagra commercials (...an erection lasting longer than 4 hours) all week in anticipation of this one. I think he's all over the field, and makes the most of his last go at these fucks.

Finally, the score pick. I think this one will be close (our D + Lonnie's pant shitting = close game, it's simple math really), I think Texas will make some big plays, but I think we will do enough to pull it out. It goes down to the end, but I think the Sooners take it 24-17. I've been the definition of anti-flaccid all week with thoughts on this game. I can't wait for the action. Let's roll heads on these rotten motherfuckers.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Really?

Quit with the stupid fucking poker references.

Oklahoma - Ball State Highlights

Here is a nice highlight package via some great Sooner fan goes by HolaKyle

(hairy) Ball State

Good, nee GREAT title. So the Fighting Somethings (probably) of Ball State come into Norman tonight to defender the honor of The (insert mid-major conference here). I personally think that OU is going to handle this one. In fact, you might say I think we'll come out with a mind to do a little Ball busting. Even though they may have inspirations of being Cinderella tonight, I don't think they're going to enjoy the Ball. However, their offense isn't terrible and so our defense will really need to be on the Ball. Personally, I hope they everyone of them runs out like they just snorted an eight Ball. It won't hurt that Still and Broyles will (probably) be on the field and feeling well together for the first time all season, just to get the Ball rolling. Also, I think Dom Whaley is going to go out today and straight Ball. In short, I look for OU to have a Ball in this one.

Wow, I simultaneously embarrassed and impressed myself with that montage (by the way, what is the over/under on Berry Tramel making a similar pun, only in seriousness, at some point in regard to this game?). The fellows from Ball State may have fallen into a bad week to come to Norman. Allegedly everyone is pretty pissed at how they played last week on our defense and my guess is they'll look to make a statement and get the confidence going again a bit in anticipation of next Saturday's showdown.

Keith made some nice points in his mid-week bullets. However, he buffed out the scratches a bit for my taste. Let's be honest, Landry has looked terrible all year. Yeah, he has put up gaudy numbers but I can't think of one time where a drive looked great because he made excellent throws. He constantly over and under throws players, he makes at least 3 or 4 plays a game that make you say out loud the words "What the FUCK was he doing?", and he rarely (if ever) seems to go through a progression. Don't believe me? Watch him and where he is looking on pass plays, he almost never goes to a second or third option. Mark my words, if/when we lose this season it won't be in spite of him.

Second, the defense looked bad. What the fuck is all of this three man rush shit? More importantly, where are the alternatives when it doesn't work. The first two drives against Mizzou, we had three down linemen generate zero pressure on their QB. It was that or bring 8. Can we get some 4 or 5 man rushes on occasion? However, I'm not nearly as worried about the defensive situation as I am with Lonnie. I think (hope) last week was an aberration and a wake-up call for the D. I can see how they might have been patting their backs a little after the effort at FSU and let up some. Hopefully they learned that it doesn't work that way and it didn't cost us a loss last week.

Finally, it's probably deserving of at least a mention on here that Habern is out for several weeks. The O-line has been a bit of a patchwork job already thanks to injuries. We are getting some guys back, as Jarvis Jones looks to return to more regular duty this week. But, losing our center and arguably our best lineman is tough. We will definitely miss him, but hopefully Ikard can fill in adequately. Watch for some bobbled snaps in the gun possibly today. Hopefully not though.

OK, enough pessimism. That probably should've been it's own column last week but I never got it done. Anyway, I don't know a ton about Ball State. I know the basic stuff that's been in the papers (None of the Homework!). They evidently have a decent offense, and one that has been perfect in the red-zone. I don't think they turn it over much, maybe even no picks by their QB yet (what that must be like). But, apart from an Indiana team... er, scratch that, they've played no one.  I think we'll, handle them pretty well today on both sides of the Ball (keep 'em coming). Zing!

Offense

Well, I'll save the suspense of telling you who I'm not (ever) going to pick. Instead, let's talk about who I think it will be. I know I've not mixed up the players of the game too much this season, but nonetheless I'm going with my gut again. I think it's going to be Dom Whaley. I just love that guy and, let's be real, Brennan Clay is a good player but he shouldn't be starting or taking carries away from this guy. Whaley is great in all aspects of running the ball. I haven't paid much attention to his blocking, but I don't remember him getting beat specifically, at least not consistently and he seems to catch the ball pretty well although that sample size is pretty small. Let's start to feature him I say. Anyway, I think he breaks 100 this week for the first time and scores twice.

Defense

Somebody is going to have to step up and impress this week. I know Old Steady will be out there being, well, steady. He's vocal and he'll have the boys fired up. Also, I think we're due for a Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson break out game. He's been solid but quiet so far this year. Don't make us regret the Motherfuckin' award. I'm keeping with my repeats theme for defense today and going with Frank Alexander. I don't think it's even a close race as to who has been our defensive MVP thus far and overall most improved player. He's been an absolute beast, and that Mizzou game last week fucking impressive. I think big Frank gets to the QB at least once and continues to be the disruptive force he's been all year.

Overall, I think we'll handle these guys. They'll no doubt score a bit, but I don't think they really threaten us at all in this one. I think the Defense come out fired up, and I think the offense clicks well. I hope Ikard gets enough reps. under center this week to be comfortable going into next week. I think we score early, I think we score often, and I don't think they do too much at all. Drew Allen gets some completions this week and Roy Finch gets plenty of touches as the Sooners win going away 48-14.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner!

OU vs. Ball State

One pair of OU football season tickets costs no less than $800.00. Your $800 gets you six games. In Oklahoma, the year is measured by the first game of the football season and the BCS Championship game. We'd just as soon not have January through July. So, to me, the idea of not going to a home game is ludicrous. But Oklahoma football fans are pretty spoiled and, believe it or not, this incoming Ball State football team has not captured the imaginations of the Sooner faithful. The result is the easiest, cheapest ticket you can imagine for a top-5 football team. I swear I saw Sooner fans giving tickets instead of coin to local panhandlers this week.

It doesn't help that last week's performance against Mizzou was marked by a pretty heartless effort by the Sooners. For whatever reason no one in Sooner nation seemed real fired up.

This Ball State ball game should serve as a perfect opportunity to correct last week's mistakes and get sharp in some areas because next week is a damn big one.

Things to work on:

• Pass Defense. The Sooner D was gashed last week and so far this season this unit either gets tackles for losses or gives up yards in massive chunks.
• Sustained aggressiveness on the Offensive Line. The Sooners can score fast and look like a machine when the O-Line is nasty. This unit needs to prove they can keep their heads out of their asses and keep their focus for a full game. It will be hard for them to do today.
• The Backup QB situation. Lonnie's jersey has been kept pretty clean this year but all it takes is one play for your whole season to ride on someone untested. The Stoops era has been marked by a stubborn unwillingness to give backup QB's any meaningful game reps. It's never made sense to me but maybe Bobby learned something from Sam Bradford's Senior season. There's no better time to strengthen the depth chart than today.
• The 3rd and 4th Wide Receivers. See the Backup QB Situation. Besides the emergence of Dom Whaley the most intriguing story on the Sooners Offense, to me, is who ultimately wins that 3rd spot out of Trey Franks (who won't play today), Dejuan Miller, Jaz Reynolds and Kameel Jackson. Franks, Miller and Reynolds have all made cases while Jackson is the darkhorse but is being given every chance. 
• Spreading the ball around. I really don't see this happening because Texas is next week but Lonnie could benefit by practicing checking down his receivers, working on reading progressions and distributing the ball to as many people as possible. 

OFFENSE


I'm stepping out on a precarious limb here but I'm going to go with Roy Finch today. In a perfect scenario Dominique Whaley's day is done after the first or second series of the 3rd Quarter. Finch or possibly even Freshman wunderkind Brandon Williams should see a good number of touches. If Finch is to have any kind of meaningful impact for the Sooners this year he needs to make the most of his chances today. So I believe (stupidly) in the good of humanity and I enjoy seeing the triumph of the human spirit so I believe Finch will rise to whatever occasion might be presented. However, I wouldn't be surprised to see him try too hard and fumble which would be devastating for him from a future PT (now that's Playing Time - Football Lingo) perspective.


DEFENSE


If I had to select a defensive MVP for the Sooners so far this season it would have to be Frank Alexander. He is a one man wrecking crew. Any Sooner opponent watching film has to be making plans to avoid this man whenever possible. I would even hope an opponent as hapless as Ball State is aware of this. That means, like a pack of lions working the hunt in tandem, Ronnell Lewis is going to have a lot of opportunities to make plays. If all goes according to my plans, he might break someone in half today. I'd be all for it. So The Hammer is my defensive pick.


THE PICK


Ball State are 40 point underdogs. The only real question is can the Sooners cover it. I know they can but I don't think they will. Josh Heupel seems pretty content to run whatever kind of offense he needs to keep the opponent at arms length. He'll have the Sooners going on long, boring methodical drives and it will be as vanilla as possible given the Red River Rivalry is coming up.


Maybe I should try to give away my tickets after all. Nah.


Sooners 42, Ball State 7

Edited to add: Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner! Tip them PBR's

OU - Mizzou Game Tape Review

This article is sponsored by the American Pigeon Museum and Library in Oklahoma City - When you have a message that you want delivered slow or maybe not at all, choose pigeon's, choose the World of Wings. 

Some quick thoughts after watching the tape (Presented in bullet points for my man TFrye who, "doesn't have time for paragraphs"):

• There is no real good excuse anymore for Dominque Whaley not being the feature back. The carries between he and Brennan Clay were nearly even. No disrespect to Clay, who really is a solid player, but he doesn't have the "missability" of Whaley (as Emmitt Smith might say). There was a series in the 3rd Quarter where Whaley had a hole close and he made himself small and, "squirted through the line" for a 1st down. The next play he caught a short pass, delivered a hit, stayed in bounds then used a spin move and a leap to get inside the 5. The next play he outran the defense to gain the corner and score. In short, he can do just about anything.
• The Sooners Offense is at it's best when the ball is getting spread around. Any offense is but I mean the Sooners really need to get Trey Millard and James Hanna involved every now and again. Those guys are under-utilized weapons.
• Jaz Reynolds did a nice job stepping up in Kenny Fuckin Shitbag and Trey Franks's stead.
• At the game I felt like Lonnie is a System Quarterback. I believe it more and more. His numbers are gaudy but his pant shitting robs him of real greatness. By pant shitting I mean anytime the pocket may collapse.
• In person I was disappointed in Josh Heupel's play calling. On tape it wasn't so bad. I think it was the fact that the "hurry up to the line play" was beyond predictable. When half-drunk homers in the last row of the upper deck are calling the plays, chances are good your opponent's Defensive Coordinator is dialed in as well.
• The Sooners D-Line is badass and Frank Alexander in particular is a damn beast.
• Gabe Lynn still looks lost on Defense.

OU vs. The Mizz

When the schedules were released this game looked like a marquee matchup. Sure, former Mizzou QB Blaine Gabbert left school a year too early to go to the NFL but, like all recruits, Gabbert's replacement is even better than Gabbert (who was the greatest of all times!).

Today, thanks in large part to a pedestrian victory over Miami (OH) and a loss to the only other D-1 team they've faced, Mizzou finds themselves nearly 30 point 'dogs. The GameDay crew didn't even bother with a score prediction. That's how little anyone cares for Mizzou's chances. As an aside, it's this college football irrelevency which inexplicably has given Mizzou reason to believe it belongs in the SEC.

Meanwhile, our Sooners, by virtue of a hard fought victory over a top five ranked Florida State squad on national television, has earned it's 30-point favorite status. Today they return to Owen Field where, lest we forget, the Sooners don't lose and where they shall be greeted as conquering heroes.

Oh, throw in the fact that the Mizz beat OU last year and revenge will be on the mind. Motivation plus confidence plus home field advantage equals an ass beat. It's true.

OFFENSE

Kenny Fuckin Shitbag Stills really pulled the Sooners ass out of the fire last week. Whilst doing it, he established himself as a bonafide threat and more than Robin to Ryan Broyles Batman. Trey Franks has also run afoul of some team rules and finds himself in street clothes today. I think this all means big things for Kenny. I mean, he's pretty much a badass. So I'm picking him.

In other offensive news I'm looking forward to Lonnie settling down (again) and the O-Line dominating consistently.

Also, my big question is will Roy Finch touch the football? Does it matter?

DEFENSE

Last week the Sooner D was vicious. I can't remember hitting like that since Mike Stoops was here. I shat my trousers when I saw Old Steady on the field.

This is a good time to mention that I was way off on who would sport the #12. My source said it would be Tony Jefferson. Full confession: My source was my grundle. I also thought Old Steady would wear 12 when he came back. So of course Frank Alexander wore it.

Today the key is stopping the run. Mizzou has some kid that averages 38 yards per carry. We can't let that happen.

I'm excited to see which Javon Harris shows up. On that note, I'm picking him as my defensive POG.

THE SCORE

I think Mizzou is a fraud. I'm wary about a possible letdown from the Sooners after an emotional victory. I'm hopeful the home crowd elevates the Sooners to greater emotional heights.

OU 42 Mizzou 17

My PBR's been cracked. Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

Missouri

The Sooners return home this Saturday for the first conference game of the season. After a huge road win last week, we will look to avoid a letdown this week at home. I think this is an easier game to avoid letting down in due to the fact that Mizzou beat us last season in our first (and only) week as BCS #1 ranked. It was obviously the only game Mizzou was interested in as they subsequently lost a few they shouldn't have and didn't even win the, now obsolete Big 12 North. This is precisely why they never won any Big 12 championships. Circling one middle of the season game as your biggest game of the year sets you up to not give a shit about the others. Anyway, they've been talking shit all week and appear to have a swagger coming into a house where they've not won since 1966. 1966. 

Missouri is probably a little better than they're given credit for ranking-wise (read: unranked). They lost a close one on the road in OT to the only real opponent they've played. Untested as they are this season, they return some pretty nice players, particularly on defense. According to Venables, their front four is tougher than FSU, which may be lip service but even if it is, mentioning that with a straight face says they are fairly legit at the least. Running the ball will be tough, and keeping the heat off the imminently flappable Lonnie will be key to avoiding turnovers and controlling the ball. 

Offensively, Mizzou has a QB that appears to be EJ Manuel with more speed. Not exactly what we would love to face, but he's unproven and appears prone to making some mistakes. He did however, have his best game on the road at ASU which shows he's at least capable of making plays in tough situations. At RB they start a 3rd stringer that is playing due to injuries. He did however, rack up 260+ yards in the first half last week...against FCS opponent Western Illinois. So, I'm not sure how much that means, probably little. 

I think we will be ready, I think our defense should be able to slow them down quite a bit, and I think our offense will be clicking much better than it was last week. All of that, plus the home field advantage will prove too much for Mizzou. As much as the company line is "it's just another game" etc., I think payback is more on the players and coaches minds than they are letting on. I'm pumped, it's another primetime game on national TV and we will come to play.

Offense

After the first two games of the season, we've displayed a pretty balance attack. Lonnie looked average last week which was sadly better than most expected. This is probably why everyone is acting like he played so great. Exceeding expectations always helps. With that said, it's hard to not want to pick a WR as the offensive player of the game. I think I nailed it (patting back) with the Stills pick last week, he saved us really. And the week prior, Broyles dominated. Couple that with the fact that the Missouri secondary appears to be the weakest part of their otherwise solid defense makes one of those two a solid choice. While, I do think one, and maybe both of the receivers will have big games, I'm going with an RB for my pick. I think Dom Whaley once again feeds off the home crowd and comes up big tonight. I love his running style. It's such a great mix of elusiveness, power, speed and has shown a nice ability to break tackles. I think he gets close to 100 yards, but 2 scores give him my player of the game tonight.

Defense

Last week the D looked good, Javon Harris and Tom Wort battled each other to become the first ever most valuable player and least valuable player simultaneously in the same game. Mitch sent me this text during the game which summed it up pretty well "Love Javon Harris. Next series might hate him. PS I might have a heart attack." Not sure how any of this leads to my pick, but I thought it was worth mentioning. While the squad in general doesn't want to mention pay back from last season, one player did. The gist of his comment was that though it might seem strange, he was looking ahead to this game even last week prior to FSU. Though I'm glad I didn't know that last week, it makes me have a chub knowing it now. Further provoking me to full on hard is that the player was Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson. I think he comes to play, racks up some big tackles and forces a turnover of some fashion.

As for the final score, I think we will struggle a bit at times defensively, not sure why I think this but a hunch I guess. That coupled with  their solid defense prevents a rout. However, I think we turn it on enough that it's not as close as it was last week (I fucking hope not anyway). I think the Sooners win this one 34-17. 

It's payback time, and I for one can't fucking wait.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Monday Thoughts

Wellsy wellsy, OU came through in a big way Saturday night. That was a really nice win on the road in a pretty tough atmosphere. It's too early to know what FSU will be like through the year, but their D seemed tough enough that they should win a lot of games. Losing Manuel (not sure how long) would hurt them though.

Lonnie predictably looked very pedestrian in this game. Yeah, everyone is on their knees in front of him for the 4th quarter touchdown pass, but honestly it was a terrible throw. All night he under-threw receivers, missed guys, and generally didn't play that well. Credit to their D some, but we've seen this dance with him before. Stills bailed him out more than once with unbelievable catches, and that TD was all him, but it should've been uncontested walking in the endzone as open as he was.

Speaking of Fuckin' Shitbag, what a night! He just might have "emerged" a bit. If I were an opposing defensive coordinator, I certainly wouldn't be comfortable doubling Broyles all night and leaving Stills one on one anymore, he proved he's very dangerous on the other side and can make some seriously tough catches in traffic.

Finally, the most encouraging thing about that win was the defense. I can't even remember the last time we won a game because of our defense. Yes, they've had good runs and have played well for the most part every year. But, that game was different. Apart from the one horrible play on 3rd and 28, I started getting the feeling that no matter what the offense did we were in good shape. I haven't felt that way since maybe 2001? Which, if this defense is like any of our defenses from the past 6 or 7 seasons, it's only going to get better as the season goes on. That could be scary if it holds up. Yes, there were breakdowns and despite a good game from Wort, he still makes some major mistakes, but we looked damn good Saturday.

Next up is Mizzou, and I expect that our guys are looking forward to the opportunity to pay them back for last season's loss in Columbia. I hope the D is ready again because it's another good offense (and defense really) from a Missouri team that I think is better than their early record. Glad this one is at home.

Florida State

Well, here are we are again reader(s). Mitch and I are, lets say, "not on the same page" when it comes to confidence this week. He predictably, is befuddled by the musings that FSU might actually be able to play with us or dare I say, beat us. I on the other hand, have sprained my neck nodding in agreement. Not really, mostly I reserve the right to question the Sooners myself. When media types suggest that FSU can hang with us, I spout prolific expletives and question all sorts of things relating to their mental status and genital fortitude.

Nonetheless, I'm quite worried about this one. As I alluded to in some email banter with Mitch this week, this game feels eerily familiar to me. To me, it feels like OU Nebraska 2000, when we re-cemented ourselves atop the college football universe by beating a #1 Nebraska team coming into our house. This has the pins set up in a similar fashion, and I certainly hope they don't fall in the same way.

FSU has presumably been taping calendars above the weight bench, listening to subliminal tapes etc. referring to this date. All since roughly one year ago when we absolutely kicked the shit out of them. They've improved no doubt. What worries me most about them isn't EJ Manuel, it's their defense. Yeah, Manual (another douchebag with initials for a name) is a great improvisor and the sort of QB that has given us trouble in the past, but I think he'll make some mistakes on the big stage (I fucking hope he does). Their defense however is coached by Mark Stoops. Who at this time last year was still in the early stages of implementing his system and was accordingly exposed by a great offense. However, as the season went on they got better and better. History has told us that if there is one thing the Stoops boys can do, it's design a damn good defense. That aside, they have some serious talent up front and in the secondary. My ass has puckered to inversion while writing this.

All of that doomsday gloom has led me to but one conclusion, we will win. Everyone keeps talking about how they return x number of players and they're experienced etc., but if anyone gives a shit, so do we. For the record, I'm in complete agreeance with Mitch that Tom Wort is suspect. He seems content on every play to lay out the hardest hit of all time. The only problem is he doesn't seem to care if it's the ball carrier, or if he misses completely. He has way too many missed tackles in open space. So I'm not thrilled with him either, he's not approaching Matt McCoy memorial Gas Rag status just yet, but he's certainly peering in the window. Also, I loved the Dominique Whaley/Allen Patrick comparison, well played. On to the picks:

Offense

Mitch is right, I'm not sold on Lonnie. Until he takes over in a true road game (e.g. today), then he's just not my guy. We've all seen the splits on home v. road stats for Lonnie this week, not pretty. But I'm optimistic (perhaps naively so) that another year under the belt will have evened those splits out and he'll play well today. I can't pick him however. I love the Broyles pick, spitting right in the face of the defense  who will no doubt be "keying" (real life football lingo!) on him most of the day. I hope Mitch is right, but I don't agree. I'm going to go, once again, with his battery mate so-to-speak in Kenny Fuckin' Shitbag Stills. Two weeks after making perhaps the worst offensive player of the game pick in the history of time (since he wasn't even in the stadium, though I was unaware of that suspension when I made the pick a week earlier), I'm sticking to my guns. I think Fuckin' Shitbag gets quite a few balls thrown his way in light of Broyles being the focus of the defense, and he does plenty with them.

An aside, I agree that the run game is crucial and more or less echo all of Mitch's sentiments on that front. I will make one prediction, Lonnie will throw at least one pick while trying to force one to Broyles.

Defense

I'm pretty nervous here as well. I think containing Manuel will be tough, but is manageable. The key will be the secondary, breakdowns like last week can't happen. It especially can't happen when Manuel scrambles and buys time. That's where the front four come in. I like our rotation there and I think they can do some damage. Which is why you can imagine the relief I felt when I saw that Mitch and I are going with the same guy here, Frank Alexander.  I think big Frank is going to have another really nice day. That said, I think Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson also plays big and comes up with some kind of turnover today. He's wearing Soggy's 12, and frankly he's one hard Motherfucker.

I think this is going to be a (maybe) surprisingly low scoring affair. I think Lonnie struggles a bit, but I think their offense does as well. I think if we can avoid giving up big special teams plays (not a given), we can handle them well enough to win. I'm shitting bricks over this one, I'm not going to lie. The crowd will be tough, we will need some time to get our feet under us, and will have to withstand at least one furious second half charge. Sooners win, 24-21.

PBR's talls are iced. I'm pumped. Let's go out and beat these rotten motherfuckers.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.