Russell Athletic Bowl: Venables Returns (and no one cares)

Well Sooner fans, here we are at the closing act of another Sooner football campaign. This season was one of the more disappointing and underwhelming efforts I can remember. That OSU game might be the nadir of my sooner football fandom. I just hope the team can end on a high note. Maybe not as high as last seasons crushing-expectation-creating performance in the cotton bowl, but that seems unlikely in light of the bowl and opponent. Venables of course makes his return after being scape-goated for the poor defense a few years ago. Naturally the savior in Mike Stoops (who I fully admit I wanted as badly as everyone else at that point) hasn't realy changed much as far as results, and Clemson has the top defense by some metric. It will be interesting to see if they just stomp on the collective nuts of the sooner offense. I imagine that would be pretty sweet for ole Brent.

Offense

The Sooners expect back weapons (?) Trevor Knight and (!) Sterling Shepard. Though I heard Shepard is still nursing the hammy that must have been torn completely in two in the ISU game. This I think is good as the forward pass has been advanced calculus for the offense since that time. That said, the emergence of Samaje Perine as a man amongst pre-menarchal girls has proven to be quite a boon for an otherwise sad, unimaginative offense. This is why I'm going with Perine, I just don't think there is anyone else to pick. I think he makes little orange feces out of Clemson.

Defense

As I alluded to in the "intro", the defense sucks. Almost universally, in fact. In spite of that, I'm obliged to pick someone to be player of the game and I'm going to be just as creative as I was on offense. Eric Motherfuckin Striker went absolutely ape-shit the last time he played a bowl game. The fact that Clemson is playing its (far more stationary) back-up QB bodes well for the Sooners getting to the QB. Nobody does that better than MF Striker.

Score

I think the Sooners will have a tough time in this one, if for no other reason than they have a tough time with everyone that doesn't have Eastern, Technical, Dudes name, and State in their name. Clemson plays defense well, we don't play offense really at all. That said, I think OU has a little magic and paradoxically puts up decent points today. Sooners win 34-31.

Until next season,

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner 

Sooners vs. Clemson - Russell Athletic Bowl

The first College Football Championship Game will be played Monday January 12th. Our beloved Sooners were picked by many to be playing in that game. High highs have given way to low lows and an unranked, four times beaten Sooner squad instead finds itself playing at 4PM on Monday December 29th in the Russell Athletic Bowl.

There are many reasons to be the grousing wah-wah Sooner fan about this season and this game. I will try to poke holes in my clouds of doom and let the sunshine pour through.

Let's start on offense where, for a second straight season, nobody has any idea what the offense will look like 17 weeks into the season. Year two of the Trevor Knight roller coaster was only marginally more fun than last year's version. Each was marked by inconsistency mixed with a dash of brilliance only to be cut short by injury then (hopefully) redeemed in the bowl game.

Meanwhile, the loss of Sterling Sheperd has taken away the threat of the forward pass. Not one player has stepped up in Sheperd's absence to give hope for the future of the wide receiving corp. Blake Bell has probably been the most consistent all year and this is his last game. In fairness Cody Thomas has been abysmal in Knight's absence.

You could argue that football in Oklahoma has been set back 30 years if not for the emergence of Samaje Perine. Good Lord what a beast. It took 10 weeks and an historic performance against Kansas to convince Josh Heupel and co. that he deserved 25 carries and the starting job but he did it. This dude is a fucking train and it's a fact that if Joe Mixon didn't beat a gal on his 18th birthday Perine is redshirting right now and is the guy you hear about tearing it up in practice leading up to the bowl game (a la Knight two years ago).

Defensively, the Sooners have been so average to below average that this matchup against Clemson has Sooner nation jealously lusting for the glory days of Brent Venables again. How times change. Three years ago he was paraded out of town and a return to the baby eating days of yore was a foregone conclusion with the triumphant return of Brother Mike. Now people are wondering how Bob is going to get rid of him without making future holidays awkward at Che' Stoops. The 2014 Sooners defense has gotten worse as the year has gone on. They have played better opponents for sure but first tier programs adjust, grow and round into championship form. This team is not first tier. Eric Stiker has been neutralized, the defensive line has been consistently below average to decent. The safeties have been the worst of the Bob Stoops era.

There have been some of the dumbest coaching calls you will ever see made by this staff this year which is saying something. Josh Heupel coaches the quarterbacks and they are the weak point of the offense. Brother Mike coaches the weak spot of the defense, the secondary. This season has been a disappointment of historic proportions because of coaching, period.

Who's ready for some football?

OFFENSE

Doom and gloom aside this marks the first time in months where the offense will have an opportunity to have its best eligible players on the field. If Trevor Knight can make good decisions and complete the occasional forward pass and if Sterling Sheperd is indeed back to full strength then maybe some holes can open up for Perine. Sooner Nation and all of America want to see this. Obviously I'm wrapping my arms around my chips and shoving my stack onto Perine's square.

It might take Heupel three series before Perine gets a touch but he's running downhill from there.

DEFENSE

My gut tells me that the aggressive, ears pinned back brand of defense that everyone thought would get trotted out against the Baylor's of the world makes a return today. Nothing to lose except a job, right? That said I'm going Eric Motherfuckin Striker here. There is literally no one behind him you could take and anyone else feels too much like a crapshoot.

SCORE

I think we get a bit of a slugfest today. The Sooners look better than people expect and the D brings the heat.

Sooners 27, Clemson 14

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

OU vs. Texas Tech

OU vs. Baylor

Sooners vs. Iowa State

The Sooners had an extra week to stew on the juices of the devastating K-State loss. They not only wasted the best called game of the season by Jabba the Heupel (that final goal line opportunity excepted) and the best game by far for Trevor Knight, our boys also completely shit on any and all chance to get in the four team playoff.

Having now come to this realization will the Sooners respond by whipping the shit out of the below average Cyclones? Or will they sulk around with their bottom lips stuck out feeling sorry for themselves. It had damn sure better be the former.

OFFENSE

As mentioned, the Sooners are coming off their most "dynamic" performance of the season. They racked up 500 yards, Trevor Knight hit about 80% of his passes and, at times, they were able to move quickly and easily down the field.

This group is still deeply flawed.

For instance, the no huddle does more harm than good when you have no clue what you are running when you get to the line of scrimmage. The only thing that meets the definition of  hurry up is the last 6 seconds of the play clock. Nobody outside of Sterling Sheperd and Blake Bell seem capable of catching a forward pass on the reg.

Still, they should be able to overcome these flaws against Iowa State. I look for Trevor Knight to have another good game. I think the staff feels comfortable again in cutting him loose a little. Cody Thomas showed he can step in and command the offense if need be. And, lest we forget, no title shot this year means you can throw caution to the wind with Knight's health. The real exciting news for me is the presumed return of Keith Ford.

I'm going to throw a little audible here with my OPOG prediction and go Blake Bell. If the Sooners needed to learn anything from K-State it's that you have to score TD's in the red zone. Hopefully they spent the last two weeks figuring out how to do that without handing the ball off and running straight up the middle. That's why I'm taking Bell. I want to see that play action bootleg action with Bell running to the boundary. It works in the NFL about 95% of the time and it, gasp, plays to the strength of your players.

DEFENSE

Lost in the unbelievable Honeycut pant-shitting was the fact that had he made his chip shot field goal the Wildcats still would have had four minutes to try to score and win. And if you need evidence to believe they would have done it just look at how they spent their time killing the clock stomping on the collective dicks of Sooner Nation. They ran seven plays, went 22 yards and killed the whole fricking clock.

They toyed with the defense. It was a cat playing with a yarn ball. Oh the 'Cats need 6 yards on 3rd? They get seven and make it look easy. The Sooners are playing the option read? OK. How about faking that then stepping back into a drop back pass and hitting someone wide open down the middle for 60?

And it was like that all day. This defense has serious problems. Notably, they don't seem to have much idea what's coming at them and their best option, blitzing, is backfiring so badly they are now apparently afraid to try it. However, they are not afraid at all to burn a timeout. Two on the same play if need be. If it's the first drive of the third quarter, so be it. That's the cost of doing business.

Yikes. The Sooners need to get something resembling MOJO back today. Again, I'll pick someone off the standard play sheet. I'm going Jordan Evans here. He occasionally shows flashes. Maybe he forces and/or scoops a fumble and takes it to the house.

SCORE

Well, in spite of my doom and gloom I think the Sooners do come out and make a statement today and start mopping up their soilings from two weeks ago. I think they kick the shit out of the Cyclones and win this one going away, 42-14.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

Iowa State

Back again from untamed India, land of tigers, elephants, and unformed stools. As part of my vacation experience I was fortunate enough to miss the KState game. I did read a recap and it sounds like it was an all time classic ball-stomp. The normally reliable Honeycunt failed to come through so many times he'd be falling back on that communications degree if this were the NFL. What a bummer, and it looked like Knight had a reasonably good game. I could well be misinterpreting everything but this is the best I could glean from a recap and box score. Anyway, this weeks post will be brief again but next week should be back up to sub-par crap (from pure dogshit). I don't know a ton about ISU. I know they've lost some stinkers but have played some teams tough. Calzone Mangino is guiding their offense as deftly as he plates up at a buffet. I think it will be a challenge today on the road. I hope the sooners can right the ship and get things going again.

Offense

It's getting awfully hard not to pick Sterling Sheppard. Knight looks to him on nearly every passing down. To Sheppard's credit, he's been pretty lights out. I'm not going to even attempt to resist that temptation and am picking Sterling to have a big day in Ames.

Defense

I'm going with Dominique Alexander here. I think he's due to have a nice day, with no real meaningful thought behind that pick. I like him, and that's enough for me today. (This is exceptionally weak shit today, wow).

Score

Apologies for the garbage today. My trip is coming to a close and with my beloved Royals narrowly missing the completion of their Disney movie, I've paid nearly zero attention to the sports world. That said I still like the Sooners in this one. If they can't win on the road at Iowa State, the problems are much bigger than anyone might've thought. I like OU to get it done with a solid rebound, 34-20.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner. 

OU - K State

Apologies, folks. This week I've been as worthless as OU's first half offense was against Texas and haven't put shit up on the board here. Nate's in India presumably getting smashed off fermented coconut milk and hanging out with the Growler monkeys, flinging feces at passersby. So I thought I had some time. Well, a win is a win. I'd rather be 5-1 than 4-2 at this point in the game so let's take that golden cowboy hat and haul ass back up to Norman. We have a big one here this week against the Ol' Turtleneck. This one's going to be tough. The Wildcats still have a guy named Lockett who, last time we played, made a mockery of our defense and almost scored himself a trip to New York. OFFENSE Um, we have to get better on first down. And second. And third. I'm really trying to remember a 2nd and short opportunity. TFrye likened Heupel to the dude from A Beautiful Mind where, if something doesn't go just so, he gets all discombobulated. I think that's giving way too much credit. I think Heupel's drawing with crayons on the back of an Applebee's kids menu up in the booth while the defense stays on the field for six minutes at a time. Anyway, I'm going Trevor Knight here. I think he shows signs of, er, something this week. It's at home, big game. Hopefully he can get settled in. DEFENSE Man these guys have got to stop being their own worst enemy on third down. They have to get off the field. K State will try to bruise them and Lockett will possibly make Zack Sanchez look like a cardboard cutout. I'm going Eric Motherfuckin Striker here. Let's blitz a little. Get them out of their gameplan a little bit. SCORE I'm going 24-21 here in a game closer than the score would indicate. BOOMER TO THE MOTHERFUCKIN SOONER

K State

Greetings from balmy India on this fine Saturday. That's right, this post comes all the way from the Asian continent. Not to mention it is being (sub-optimally) typed out on my phone. As a result of time discrepancies and international charges etc., the superbly done steamroller chat will not be produced this week. However, I can promise this post will be similarly half-assed and markedly more concise. The predictions are going to be short so that I might go back to my quest of procuring horrific diarrhea and sweating.

Offense

The offense, as you may have noticed has been pretty terrible lately. Nearly nothing has worked and the Trevor Knight Clinic presented courtesy of Alabama has been off the air since its initial debut. Bottom line is I have no real idea who to pick so in an "as-good-as-someone-else" mode of selection, I pick Blake Bell. I mean, he's done nearly nothing all season, so it makes sense. Errrr, gameplan, scheme (trailing off...)

Defense

After promising early season returns, it appears the Crimson defensive juggernaut has rescinded to the soft, absent on third down unit we've grown to despise over the last, oh, decade plus. I'm taking Eric Motherfuckin Striker. Haven't picked him in a while so, might as well.

Score

After making texas look respectable last week, I have almost zero confidence against Bill Snyder's minions. However I rubbed a statue of a hat-wearing elephant with 12 arms yesterday and it told me OU will win this one 27-21. Come back next week for 300 more words of hasty drivel!

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

Red River Rivalry

Oklahoma Sooners v. TCU Horned Frogs

https://www.dropbox.com/s/gnfjawwaaso7zg9/SoonerSteamroller_05_OUvTCU2014.mp3?dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/s/gnfjawwaaso7zg9/SoonerSteamroller_05_OUvTCU2014.mp3?dl=0

Sooners vs. West Virginia

Big game here today you guys.
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/re5hrbf9cew80jv/AAAQZUzCPYBZqQZz8pBB3Tega?dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/s/bhgkhqwi3ksaqzs/SoonerSteamroller_04_OUvWVU2014.mp3?dl=0

Sooners vs. Tennessee

Well Nate and I had so much fun making the podcast last week we tried it again. Here you go.



https://www.dropbox.com/sh/re5hrbf9cew80jv/AAAQZUzCPYBZqQZz8pBB3Tega?dl=0

Sooners v Tulsa

Well I'm in NYC watching this one with Navin R himself. So we recorded a podcast.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

The 2014 Sooners

Welcome back Steamroller faithful, we are back again for another season filled with flawlessly accurate predictions, clinical exploits of mastery over the written word, and rapist wit. Much ballyhoo is being directed at the 2014 incarnation of Bobby Stoops' squad. I for one am excited, and it seems that 2 years after hitting the reset button, Mikey has started to do Mike Stoops things that everyone clamored for prior to his re-hiring. There is real talent at nearly every position, and while the likes of Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin will certainly be missed, the front 7 give me the same feeling I had when I opened my first Playboy as a youth and feasted my eyes on hip-to-hip beav. Trevor Knight, who are ye really? I hope he comes back as the guy everyone remembers and not the guy everyone seems to have forgotten.

Mitch did a masterful job of covering the awards, and as the spoilers are out I see little reason to rehash them, but suffice it to say that Eric Motherfuckin Striker should have you (palm up/arm sweep at Sooner Nation) excited. I am instead taking the liberty of creating a few new awards for this season.

The TC Bread Award

Several years ago, I was looking through a player list for the Sooners roster and came across a player named TC Bread. Without question, this is the funniest name in the history of Sooner football. I never heard of this player again. To my knowledge, he never saw the field. Hell, he could have been a made up name by someone at the paper (side note: I once did this for a Sooners game. As a bright-eyed freshman I was asked to type up the roster list for the Nebraska game to be distributed in the press box during the game. Naturally, I put my own name, accurate height and weight, on the roster along with some other made up dudes, fun). Anyway, this year it's Jordan Smallwood.

Player Least Likely to Get Girls Based Solely On His Name

Poor Jordan Smallwood.

Best Silhouette

Almost went for a chiseled athlete but decided instead to go for OC Josh Heupel instead. His doughy pelican neck creeps ever so slightly over his half-buttoned coaches polo while his gut struggles to gain freedom from below. This leads me to believe that a silhouette of his would look like a humorous humpty-dumpty. I would buy this from Fathead.

Scariest in a Shower Situation

This one goes to the entire defensive line roster. They line up in two lines, shoulder to shoulder, across from one another, gauntlet style. Freshman have to run between the two lines getting into and out of the shower. I think this would feel a lot like running through one of those cages for RB's with the pylons on springs that slap your upper body and teach holding onto the football. I'm not on drugs.

Mat McCoy Memorial Gas Rag?

This one is actually legit, and unlike Old Steady I sincerely hope this position isn't filled. It, sadly, had been filled rather competently by Gabe Lynn the last couple of seasons. I hope no one steps into this role this year. Any DB with a penchant for getting burned with ease and alacrity teeters on the cusp of being dubbed Gas Rag. This is less than ideal.

Louisiana Tech

I suppose we should discuss this adversary. The line I most recently saw was OU giving 35. While I whole heartedly agree that the Sooners will win this game, I would put my money on LaTech with that kind of line. I'm just not confident enough in Trevor Knight et al, and even more Josh Heupel, that I think we can put up 40 points on these guys (though a shutout isn't out of the question). I think our defense is going to great, and while OU has question marks it has them in the right places. I'm firmly in the camp that every team looks better with good line play. A good offensive and defensive line will make everyone else on that respective side of the ball look better. Conversely, great skill players look bad if the line is getting fisted all day. Offensively, we have little experience returning at WR, RB and frankly QB (in spite of the Sugar Bowl performance), but up front we return a ton of veterans. Defensively, the Sooners might actually have 2 full defensive lines worthy of starting, there is that much depth. Yes, losing Frank Shannon hurts. A lot. But as Dominique Alexander aptly demonstrated (what a beast!), some times a star going down (RIP Corey Nelson) paves the way for an even better player to step up. Hopefully Jordan Evans does something similar.

Offense

I'd like to go Trevor Knight, I really would. I hope as much as anyone that he is the world-beater we saw in the Alabama game. But, until I see it consistently, I'm not ready to bestow anything as prestigious as this blogs pre-game OPG yet. I'm going against the grain a bit. I think Keith Ford comes in and makes little brown underwear streaks of this defense at LaTech. I like him to break out in a big way, at least one touch and 100+ on the ground.

Defense

I really feel inspired by Dominique Alexander (my current front-runner for Old Steady). He makes a ton of tackles and by his own assessment, he's no longer "thinking out there", just reacting and making plays. That's scary. But, in spite of all of this fluffing I'm doing, I'm going with Eric Motherfuckin' Striker. I feel like Mikey is going to do some good things with him this year, and we will see him in the backfield sodomizing teams in obscene ways. I think he separates a QB from the football once today, and makes big plays all evening.

Score

Ideally Trevor Knight and the boys will be sipping gatorade and wearing awkward unbroken-in hats by midway through the 3rd quarter. However as I said, I think the Sooners control this one, though maybe not to the tune of a 35 point win, but close. I think the offense shakes off rust early, and gets in a groove as things go on. The defense? Well, I think it will make a long day for Skip Holtz and co. Sooners win this one in front of a PPV TV audience of dozens, 35-3.


 Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.


It's good to be back.

Your 2014-2015 Oklahoma Sooners

Eric MF Striker

It’s here you guys. Let’s get this party started. Can the Sooners get a seat at the playoff table? Can they keep me from questioning my fanhood before the Iowa State game? Are we who we think we are?

Here now some preseason awards, prognostications and the Louisiana Tech pre gamer.

MF’er
The MF’er is one of the cornerstones of this blog and the Sooner tradition. No higher preseason honor can be bestowed. Fuck the Herbies.

The 2014-2015 MF’er is Eric MF Striker. Striker’s emergence in 2013 had Sooner fans doing double takes as they saw visions of former Sooner greats such as Roy Williams and Brandon Everage. Striker is a guy who runs around like his hair is on fire and who can make an impact from anywhere he lines up. He’s a brute and slobberknocker on the blitz. He’s going to give opposing offenses fits and offer Mikey Stoops et al some nice flexibility.

While Striker was the No. 1 choice on all ballots of eligible voters there are some other intriguing choices. Jordan Phillips, Geneo Grissom, Dominique Alexander, Quinton Hayes, Julian Wilson and even Zach Sanchez got some consideration. Frank Shannon would be in the mix too if he didn’t run afoul of the law.

It’s the deepest defensive talent pool in years, a development that should moisten the thighs of many a coed. 

Old Steady
Old Steady is an award named after former Sooner RB Chris Brown. Brown was pretty unspectacular for the majority of his career but if you handed him the football you got three yards every single time. No fumbles, no dancing in the backfield, no one-on-one situations with safeties. Just a predictable modest result. 

We don’t know enough about anyone on this incarnation of the Sooners offense to say, “That’s Old Steady”. One could argue Keith Ford but how long is his leash after all his fumbling “issues” one year ago? None of the other RB’s are proven. Dimitri Flowers seems to be the heir apparent to Trey Millard but he’s not even starting.

So, until someone proves themselves there is no Old Steady. I think this is becoming it’s own tradition. 


Things I’m excited about

The D
Man, if this group had Frank Shannon it would be downright scary. It still should be a menace. Jordan Phillips is back after a promising start to the season that led many to believe he could be the next great (long missing) anchor of the d-line. Throw in Chuka Ndulue, Charles “Ass” Tapper, Grissom, Alexander, Striker, Sanchez, Hays and the much ballyhooed triumverant of Ahmad Thomas, Hatari Byrd and Steven Parker and, cripes, there are some ballplayers over here.

The Run Game
This could make some people nervous because this group is short on experience. But I’m making lemonade here and telling you that, contrary to popular opinion, running back is not the hardest position to fill on a football team. Keith Ford has shown flashes of beast mode already. Coaches seem to hold Alex Ross in similar esteem and players rave about the practice work of the difficult to pronounce Samaj Perine. Some version of this group is going to pick yardage up in chunks. Hey...No worries!

Michiah Quick
I don’t spend my offseason with my hands down my sweatpants reading Rivals and Scout so pardon my surprise at seeing this true freshman's name not once, not twice but thrice on the depth chart. Apparently he was the #7 athlete in the country coming out of high school. It looks like this fella Quick, along with Sterling Sheperd, LaColtan Bester and Durron Neal are going to be ratcheting up the pressure on defenses to “cover space”. Now watch as he sits on the sidelines before burning his redshirt against Kansas.

Things I’m Nervous About

Was Trevor Knight’s Sugar Bowl Performance a Fluke?
History is a fickle mistress. Prior to his breakout performance against Bama, Knight had been benched and shown a poor grasp for the forward pass. Not only did one game erase that from the minds of Sooner faithful but it’s also landed him on every major awards watch list including the Heisman Trophy ™. Hey, I want the guy to succeed too but he has plenty of room for improvement. The encouraging thing about Knight is he appears to be a gamer. His best games were his first career start and Bama. 

Was Josh Heupel’s Job Saving Sugar Bowl Performance a Fluke?
I wrote this about Josh Heupel after the Baylor game last year. 

Josh Heupel is not fighting for his job at OU. He's auditioning for a QB coaching gig at Appalachian State at best. The Oklahoman trotted out Jenni Carlson for a piece asking if it's time for a change in play caller only to have Berry Trammel write an article about how Bobby prefers "Stability" versus "Experimentation”.

Again, history is a fickle mistress. The Sooners offense last year was historically abysmal most of the season. The players and staff would publicly say they weren’t surprised about what they did against Alabama but even they had to have been shocked after being so inept up to that point. The Sooners played three quarterbacks out of desperation in the bedlam game. 

I am very cautiously optimistic that Josh Heupel retained what he learned and is now prepared to use all his weapons to their full advantage. If he does, the offense could be lethal. If he doesn’t then Jay Norvell will get his chance. Book it. Bob is learning to make changes to stay ahead of the game.


Are New Uniforms a Good Idea?
No. But I’m a surly, aging sonofabitch. Whatever the football team needs to do to continue luring top 17 year old talent to Norman to win football games is fine with me.

On To Louisiana Tech

Skip Holtz is the head coach and Tim Rattay is also on the staff so I hate them already. There is no good reason why the Techsters, or whatever they call themselves, shouldn’t just pick up their asskicking and a check and head on home. But the memories of TCU home openers loom large so the Sooners would be best advised to take this one quite seriously.

Offense
There are no shortage of things to watch for on this side of the ball. Will the real Trevor Knight please stand up? Who wants the bulk of the carries? Who will be TKnight’s safety blanket? How good can this O-Line be if it stays healthy?

I’m going to put my unsullied reputation on the line here and go all in on the Trevor Knight bandwagon week 1. He really needs to come right out and show that he has a firm grasp on this offense and prove that having the Belldozer take practice snaps at QB was the dumbest fucking idea of all time.

Defense
Can’t go with anyone besides newly minted MFer, Eric “Ted” Striker here. I think this defense is filled with baby eaters and they go PlayStation D this week. Man I’m pumped to watch these guys this year.

Score
42-7. No screwing around. The Sooners score in all phases and get the 2014-2015 campaign kicked off in a great way. Lots of baby making in Norman after this one.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner!

Notes about Notes from my Notebook

If I told you there was a Sooner named Jack Steed from DeSoto Texas and that Jack Steed was 6’2” and 200+ pounds, what position do you think the would play? The answer is Punter.

On the roster page of soonersports.com there is a little ear icon (to help with pronunciation) next to Josiah St. John but not one for Michiah Quick.

Alabama, aka The Sugar (tits) Bowl

Big day Sooner Nation, nay, HUGE day. Stoops gets the chance to play spoiler for the first time in a BCS game that I can think of off hand. Will the lack of pressure and/or expectations provide enough motivation to not just expect to win by putting on the uniform? Will all of the slights, all of the foregone conclusion speak create a big enough chip on the collective shoulder of Sooner football? Did UCF provide a wake up call for all of the "goliaths" out there? I am skeptical.

The Sooners come in with almost no one giving them chance. The best we can muster from anyone who pretends to know what they're talking about is "they'll play Alabama tougher than people think". That's great, keep that shit coming. I'm sure Bobby's pregame speech will include something about how if we play hard, maintain our assignments, hit 'em in the mouth early, and play Sooner football, we'll keep this thing within 28 points. Or not. Look, I love the "nobody believes in us" card. I'm glad to finally be the ones playing it as well. That said, Alabama is really fucking good. They're better in nearly (if not all of them) every phase of the game. I don't have a great feeling. More accurately I feel like we're going to get stomped on the scrotum.

Sooner nation is riding high after an improbable road win in Bedlam. Against an OSU team we didn't have much business beating. Against an OSU team that is nowhere nearly as good as Alabama. Today is going to take our best game, not of the season, but of the last decade. People seem to forget our offense has been anemic all season. This is the best D we will face. Alabama is hard. End of story.

Offense

People continue to point to the Auburn game as an indicator that Alabama is soft against the run. Hey, we run the ball pretty well, we've got a good chance here. I hope that is true, I'm sure Alabama has heard similar things. I do think that if we go into this thinking Student Body Left, Student Body Right, we're fucked. Yes, I think we need to play ball control, that is essential. The running game is our bread and butter and it will have to be awesome today for us to have a chance. However, if we can't make a few big plays, convert a few long third downs, and keep them honest with the passing game, we're fucked. So, I'm going on a limb here and picking Jalen Saunders. He's been our most electric player the last few weeks. I think he does some explosive things and makes a couple of huge plays.

Defense

This is where things get (even more) dicey. So many guys absolutely have to play well for us to win. We need strong play up front, Chaz "Ass" Tapper et al need to be dominant. On the back end, Aaron "Motherfuckin" Colvin needs to lock down half of the field so safeties can make plays and Gas Rag is as un-Gas Rag as possible. In the middle Frank Shannon has to fly around and bust heads anywhere in the middle of the field. Eric Striker needs to be his hair-on-fire self and have his facemask in McCarron's ass early and often. With all of these guys essential to our success, I still think one guy steps above the others. Dominique Alexander is that guy. I think he's in the backfield, he's a blanket in coverage and he even forces a turnover. America, meet Dominique Alexander.

Score

Oh Billy. Billy-Billy-Billy-Billy-Billy. It's time for Stoops to take the velvet sleeve off of the putter. I'm not going to pretend I feel good about this. They are the better team. Slighted underdogs or not, we have a slim chance of winning this. We'll need big plays, we'll need to get our defense off the field on 3rd down, and we'll need to win the turnover battle (handily, I suspect). I'm not saying those things can't or won't happen, I just think it's a long shot. With all of that doom and gloom in mind, I slowly and proudly extend both of my middle fingers in no particular direction. I think we do what it takes to restore some much-needed respect to our program. Sooners find a way to pull off the stunner, 27-23. Now lets beat the shit out of these rotten fucks.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.

OU vs. Bama - Sugar Bowl

Welcome to fantasy land. For the remainder of this column we will operate outside the bounds of reality and pretend the Sooners have a shot at beating Alabama in the Sugar Bowl. We will imagine a world where some version of Trevor Bell or Blake Knight (I'm combining the names; who knows who is starting and we'll probably see both anyways) and Josh Heupel can move the ball and we can imagine a world where the Sooner D can avoid being crushed into rubble under the brute force of the Alabama running game.

Let's remember that past Alabama National Champion teams are not this year's Alabama squad. Let's remind ourselves that past bowl game embarrassments are not the same team as this year's Oklahoma squad. It's a new day. Anything can happen.

OFFENSE

Obviously Bama is going to load up to stop the run and force the Sooners to beat them via the pass. How effective can the Sooners rushing attack be without resorting to bullshit and trying too hard to be cute? This needs to be the Brennan Clay show with some good decision making on the QB read by Blake Knight.

Also, Trevor Bell needs to be able to make easy throws without abandoning the run game entirely. Use one to set up the other. Jalen Saunders and Sterling Shepherd can get separation on anyone. If the ghost of LaColtan Bester could hang on to a ball that would help things tremendously.

For my OPOG I'm going with Jalen Saunders. He's been a beast lately both as a receiver and punt returner. He'll need to be awesome in both phases again, especially offense, to soften up that run defense.

DEFENSE

The good news is AJ McCarron is not known for his scrambling ability. The bad news is Bama has a guy named TJ Yeldon who is damn good and the Sooners can sometimes be soft up the middle. I fear the ground and pound from Bama.

Somebody in that linebacking crew is going to have to step up and wrap up before those Alabama running backs get to the third level and Gabe Lynn either dives at ankles or gives a well intended yet ineffective shoulder tap. My nightmare is giving up yards in chunks on the ground before McCarron goes to work on Zack Sanchez.

For my DPOG I'm going with Dominique Alexander but he's going to have to wrap up. I also want to go with Charles Ass Tapper, Frank Shannon, Eric "Ted" Striker, Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin et al but I can only pick one so it's Dominique.

THE SCORE

The Sooner offense needs to take shots, put the ball in the hands of their best players and do all this while sticking to a meat and potatoes type game plan. Screw razzle dazzle. Go right at them and work the clock.

The D can have success but if they're on the field all night this will be Baylor all over again. If they can stay somewhat fresh then hopefully they can stay aggressive and get after McCarron a little bit. They have to slow down that run game.

Here's to the last game of the year. It's bittersweet. I never would have thought after texas that this team would be in the BCS. Hopefully they can prove they belong.

Sooners 24, Crimson Tide 17

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner!