Stillwater, a tiny little butthole on the map of America. Known for a bar with the most delicious (and diarrhea inducing) cheese fries I've ever had, and a college football team built on one lunatic billionaires oil money. The Sooners travel a little ways down the road today and take on this football team with the highest of stakes at hand. OSU lost last week to Baylor, that takes a little of the glimmer off of this one in the national eye, but does nothing to diminish what OU has to play for. The Sooners magical run through November has us old guys reminiscing about Red October waaaaay back in 2000 (credit: Steve Mitchell). But the far away looks in our eyes will be quickly gouged out if the Sooners lay an egg today. In short, win and the Sooners are making the Big 12's first trip to the new college playoff with everything in front of them. Lose, and it's another second tier bowl game, dripping with the scraps of what might have been.
Offense
That game last Saturday was an absolute butthole destroyer. You couldn't have forced a single hydrogen atom out of my ass with a blow torch. It confirmed what no one ever had any doubts about, Trevor Knight is shit (read on, he won't be my OPG pick), and Samaje Perine is a man playing against boys. Basically, Baker Mayfield is the only hope OU has. Thankfully, at last check, he will play. The previous few sentences make it hard to not pick him as OPG. After all, the offense is a Chevy Corsica with corn syrup in the tank without him. I like Mayfield to account for 4 TD's today and cement himself as a top Heisman contender.
Defense
Oh boy, the defense. A game that should've been over at halftime forced my dramatic butthole sentence earlier after allowing a 3rd string TCU QB to get the Horned Frogs back in it. Granted, after the Pu Pu Platter that Knight served, they were on the field roughly 97% of the half, but still. OSU has never had trouble scoring, and they will definitely get theirs today. I think it all starts up front (like I always do), and I like Charles "Ass" Tapper to have another huge day. This guy went from possible UFA roster spot to mid round draft choice in the last 5 weeks. To summarize, he's been a terror. I like him for 2 sacks today and countless pressures
Score
This is for all of the marbles. After that texas game, who would have ever thought it possible? Not me, for one. Literally everything is still on the table, playoffs (playoffs?) or the whocares.com bowl. I'm feeling the former. OSU will score, the crowd will be apeshit, but the Mayfield and the defense will lead us to the promise land in a scorcher. Sooners take it 41-40. I've got two more pieces in me this season.
Boomer to the MOTHERFUCKIN Sooner
Offense
That game last Saturday was an absolute butthole destroyer. You couldn't have forced a single hydrogen atom out of my ass with a blow torch. It confirmed what no one ever had any doubts about, Trevor Knight is shit (read on, he won't be my OPG pick), and Samaje Perine is a man playing against boys. Basically, Baker Mayfield is the only hope OU has. Thankfully, at last check, he will play. The previous few sentences make it hard to not pick him as OPG. After all, the offense is a Chevy Corsica with corn syrup in the tank without him. I like Mayfield to account for 4 TD's today and cement himself as a top Heisman contender.
Defense
Oh boy, the defense. A game that should've been over at halftime forced my dramatic butthole sentence earlier after allowing a 3rd string TCU QB to get the Horned Frogs back in it. Granted, after the Pu Pu Platter that Knight served, they were on the field roughly 97% of the half, but still. OSU has never had trouble scoring, and they will definitely get theirs today. I think it all starts up front (like I always do), and I like Charles "Ass" Tapper to have another huge day. This guy went from possible UFA roster spot to mid round draft choice in the last 5 weeks. To summarize, he's been a terror. I like him for 2 sacks today and countless pressures
Score
This is for all of the marbles. After that texas game, who would have ever thought it possible? Not me, for one. Literally everything is still on the table, playoffs (playoffs?) or the whocares.com bowl. I'm feeling the former. OSU will score, the crowd will be apeshit, but the Mayfield and the defense will lead us to the promise land in a scorcher. Sooners take it 41-40. I've got two more pieces in me this season.
Boomer to the MOTHERFUCKIN Sooner
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