Oklahoma Sooners vs. Akron Zips

Praise His name the season is finally here. I couldn't handle another puff piece about how Toby used to help his sister raise the family horse and how that work ethic and team first attitude caught Coach Stoops's eye while he was driving his kids to school one day and led to Toby landing an invitation to try and walk-on at the University of Oklahoma.

There are lots of intriguing storylines to pay attention to here for the Sooners in Week 1. Lincoln Riley debuts his Better, Faster, More Offense. Mike Stoops gets to heap his verbal abuse from the safe distance of the press box. Bob Stoops gets a chance to redeem himself and show that he can make in-game decisions worthy of his $5 million dollar salary. Joe Mixon makes his much anticipated debut. Can the Defense hold a wet fart? Can the Sooners go a season (or a game) without calling a timeout on a kickoff or on the backside of a TV timeout?

The Akron Zips are terrible which makes for a nice opportunity for the Sooners to get accustomed to game tempo and let some newcomers settle in to some big time college football. The Zips for their part get an ass-beat, a fat game check and, presumably, some sympathy beej's when they get back to Ohio. So good for them (sarcastically slow clapping).

OFFENSE

It's pretty obvious the Sooners need to lube the ol' offense and get some good reps in at this new pace ASAP. I'm expecting jitters and glitches at the outset. Baker Mayfield gets his first start, there's a new left tackle, it's a new playbook. But if the Sooners can get into the groove as the game goes on and avoid an overabundance of penalties that's a nice day. Scoring is not going to be an issue. Stepping on their own shoe strings may be.

There's many ways to go in choosing an offensive player of the game here. Does Baker Mayfield go crazy? Does Sterling Shepered and Dede Westbrook gain 100+ yards each? Can Semarje pick up where he left off last year? Does Mixon get everyone's forgiveness for being a lady beater? I'm going with Baker Mayfield. I don't think his numbers will be gaudy but I think he'll justify his being named the starter. This alone will put this offense ahead of any point in time last year.

DEFENSE

Mike Stoops is on notice. He's been relegated to the press box and he's lucky he didn't get canned last year. His unit needs to step up in a great way and I'm not seeing anything on paper that leads me to believe it's drastically improved. People like Steven Parker, Ahmad Thomas, Jordan Thomas (aka The Secondary) all have to make the leap. You get no coffee if your name isn't Eric Motherfuckin Striker,  Charles Tapper, Zack Sanchez or Dominique Alexander, basically. Coffee is for closers.

Per tradition and in light of the previous paragraph I'm going Eric Motherfuckin Striker here. We don't know who's starting for the Zips but one of their options "is not a running threat". That bodes well not only for the entire defensive unit but for Mr. Striker as well.

THE SCORE

The over-under for this one is 57.5. I'd load up on the over if I was a sinner and gambled. I like the Sooners big here, just huge. I'm going to say 52-14.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

The 2015 Oklahoma Sooners Offensive Preview

Josh Heupel is gone.

The Heupel era was marked by painfully conservative play calling. It was like watching a fireworks celebration and looking forward to the big finale and then it never coming because, “a little bit of fireworks is better than too many fireworks at once”. Heupel routinely out-smarted himself by doing such forward thinking things as “don’t call a run play for three straight series to start a game with a sub-optimal passing QB on the road” and “Don’t start Semarje Perine until forced at knife point by my boss”. He also played as if any lead was safe thus putting a heavy burden on a below average, at best, defense. He was so bad I would not have been surprised if his play sheet was a Shoney’s children’s menu.

To put it a little more bluntly, I was considering giving up my season tickets if Josh Heupel wasn’t fired after last season. I have never been so underwhelmed by any coach of the Stoops era.

So, in with wunderkind 31 year old Lincoln Riley and the magic elixir to cure all that ails.

Everyone is asking, “Can Lincoln Riley adapt his ‘Air Raid’ offense to include the immense talents of Perine and Joe Mixon”? Look, I love the forward pass and I’ve never played or coached a down of tackle football on any organized level. But even I could figure out a way to take advantage of what is the glaring strength of the offensive side of this football team. And if I stubbornly ignored those strengths in favor of my philosophy then I never should have been hired in the first place and should be replaced forthwith in the second. What I am saying here is if you are seriously asking that question then you are a Grade A Fuckwit. Only Josh Heupel, a Grade A Fuckwit, would overthink this and “outsmart” the defense by not using the run game to his advantage and he’s back in Utah. No, I am not worried about Riley’s having a “run package” in this offense.

I am intrigued to see how much faster the offense operates over the Heupel years and what degree of autonomy the QB’s have to make reads and calls without having to consult the press box.

Baker Mayfield is going to be an improvement over Trevor Knight at Quarterback. This is not optimism. This is a low bar. Trevor Knight has played one brilliant game in his career and that was two years ago. Since, he’s been ineffective enough (14 TD - 12 INT) he got the Landry Jones Apologists all foamy-mouthed with their, “I told you so’s” and “careful what you wish for’s”.

In Mayfield the Sooners have some swagger, a guy who plays with the proverbial chip on his shoulder, and a guy who can keep the team fired up. He seems to have “it”. Nobody is asking him to score all the points and win by himself. In this offense there should be an easy (easier) play somewhere. He just needs to be smart enough to find it.

This is an offense playing in a league where it could average 50 points a game. There are playmakers everywhere. Semaje Perine, Sterling Shepard, Dede Westbrook, Joe Mixon.

Perine was a man among boys last year. He won’t be sneaking up on anyone this year but that didn’t seem to matter much last year either. Everyone and their dog knew where the ball was going and still teams had to tackle him. That’s where they ran into problems. Dude is beast mode after contact.

We didn’t get to see Mixon in the Red-White Game but fall practice reviews have done nothing but raise already lofty expectations. Someone compared him to Adrian Peterson for chrissakes. There is also a rumor floating around he might return punts which sounds hazardous (later debunked, as of this writing, by the release of the depth chart). But, if true, then he is clearly versatile. So, if we’re going to set lofty goals I’d be happy with a homeless man’s DeMarco Murray.

It seems ludicrous but Sheperd might actually be flying under the radar a little bit. With the rise of Perine, the expectations around Mixon and Sheperd's own injuries last year, people might be forgetting that Sheperd could be the love child of Mark Clayton and Ryan Broyles. Health permitting, he’s poised to thrive in this new offense. He’s important enough and injury prone enough that I cannot fathom why he’ll be the starting punt returner but, alas, I’m not the highest paid state employee either so such decisions are clearly above my pay grade.

Dede Westbrook was the fastest guy on the whole field during the Red-White game. Looking at this two ways, either the Sooners are collectively a slow football team or Westbrook is a burner. I am giddy about this young man’s future and cannot wait to see this guy catching slants in the middle of the football field.

Another player who caught my eye during the Red-White game was Mark Andrews. He’s a huge target who can get up the field in a hurry. He was able to catch balls in traffic by virtue of his size. I see many opportunities for him. The only downer is he was recruited as a TE, a position which doesn’t exist in Riley’s system. There’s a place for this guy though because of his speed. He starts off the season as Sterling Sheperd’s backup which is odd to me simply because of the differences in height between the two (5’10” vs. 6’5”).

Of course the line has to do its part to make this whole thing go. On paper, it looks decent though it seems devoid of established stars. There are three seniors in Josiah St. John, Ty Darlington and Nila Kasitati. Freshman Brick Shit House Orlando Brown starts off as the No. 1 Left Tackle. Brown goes 6’8” 340 making him the early favorite for my father in law to spend his time focusing on during pre-game stretch.

I really think this offense might average 45 to 55 points and be a hell of a lot of fun to watch. There’s enough here to not only offer a glimmer of hope but to get excited about watching even if you’re only a casual fan. These guys are going to have some fun.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.