The Sooners have a big, big football game today as they head down to Waco, Texas to play the Baylor Bears. It's amazing how things change. Baylor has a shiny new football palace, they carry a number six ranking, they are the defending Big 12 co-champions and they operate the scariest offensive attack in college football. Oh, and they have also beaten the Sooners two straight times with the 2014 shellacking being particularly demoralizing. Sooners fans may never chase away the nightmare of watching Baylor throw quick outs repeatedly as they essentially laughed at the Sooner defense. It was one of the most embarrassing and frustrating situations I've ever seen unfold as a Sooner fan.
As my dad pointed out, this opener to a brutal stretch may also remind Sooner fans of a string of games way back in 1999. Instead of the Red October of Kansas State, Texas and Nebraska, the Sooners are looking at Baylor, TCU and Oklahoma State. Times change. And no big deal but if the Sooners win out they are in the college football playoff.
First things first, beat Baylor.
OFFENSE
The Sooner offense is rounding into form. Four straight games of 50 plus points. There's a nice balance of run and pass. Guys like Durron Neal and Mark Andrews are stressing defenses to cover more than Sterling Shepard. You can almost book 48 points out of these guys at this point.
I think they key with Baylor is going to be to continue with the hot starts and show them early that they have yet to see the likes of this offense outside of their own practices. I'm not necessarily worried about playing behind so much as they need to know what they're dealing with and their confidence needs to get shaken. Conversely, the earlier the Sooners can settle in and give Baker Mayfield some comfort in the pocket, the better off they will be.
To accomplish both of these things the Sooners will need to utilize all the skill on hand. In addition to Shepard and Semaje Perine they also need to get Joe Mixon extra touches. He seems to get 10-15 per game. He needs 15-20 today. And, as Nate pointed out last week, I have to tuck my boner into my waistband about Mark Andrews. Someone tell me why I shouldn't? The guy is a matchup nightmare. He's my dark horse super sleeper offensive pick of the week. Unleash the beast damnit.
DEFENSE
I mean what do you do against these guys? They average ∞ yards and it's pretty well split between the run and pass. Shock Linwood averages nearly eight yards per carry. Corey Coleman is on another level with 20 TD's and averaging 20 yards per catch.
It's a nightmare on paper and it will be a nightmare on the field. However, there are some glimmers of hope. Most notably the Sooners have the best defense in the Big 12. They hold teams at least two touchdowns below their average. With a freshman (albeit presumably wunderkind) quarterback this should hold true today. The Bears have seen nothing resembling the Sooner D so far this year.
Now, is the Sooner D vulnerable? For sure. But if the Sooners are firing on all cylinders then I think there's a real chance the Baylor offense gets rattled just a bit.
To rattle cages the Sooners have to pick a poison. I think the choice is take your chances covering Corey Coleman one on one with help over the top. If he goes for four scores and 200 yards so be it. If he's the only guy going off we win. Shut everything else down. Do not give any opportunities to run roughshod up the middle. Throw the kitchen sink at the young quarterback and give him blitzes from everywhere. The Bears have to get rattled.
In a game this yoooge I'm picking the big guy Eric Motherfuckin Striker. The defense is rounding into form a little bit and you could actually pick a few different guys here. The Charles's, Walker and Tapper, Dominique Alexander, Steven Parker. Hell, even either of the corners could turn the game with some picks.
THE SCORE
The biggest difference between these two teams are the defenses. If OU takes care of the ball on offense and the defense brings the kind of edge that, frankly, there is no excuse for not exhibiting after last year's de-pantsing, the Sooners win. The key word here is rattle. The atmosphere for this one will be electric. Everyone thinks the Baylor offense is unstoppable. The Sooners need to show they are also unstoppable on offense and they need to shake the confidence of the young quarterback and the Baylor faithful.
Bring your sniffing glue, your quaaludes and whatever else you need to get through it because it will fray the nerves but the Sooners will come through.
Sooners 45 - Bears 38
The real season starts... Now
Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner
Showing posts with label Eric Striker. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Eric Striker. Show all posts
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Friday, October 9, 2015
Texas
As you may or may not have heard, the Sooners play their arch rival tomorrow the texas longhorns. If you own a TV, radio or have left your home in the last 4 weeks, it's also likely you know that texas hasn't been very good this year. There is apparently quite a lot of conflict within the team. It seems the upper classmen don't like the lower classmen and vice versa. I could give a shit.
texas is talented, though they have (according to Mel Kiper types) a dearth of nfl prospects with not one player expected to be drafted next spring. That said, they come in with 2 losses (OSU and Cal) that very easily could have been wins had their special teams not turned the inside of their unis burnt orange. The Sooners should win this game, they are better in all phases. However, anyone who has watched this series over the years knows, anything can happen. The blowouts only seem to happen when they are unexpected (I took 2.3 seconds to think about that last statement). With nothing else to play for, this is the season for Ut.
Those that know me personally know I only like burnt orange in one capacity, my nether regions. They also know I expect the worst nearly every week. I am nervous about this. After TCU publicly fisted them last weekend, the masses expect a repeat. I don't see a demolition, I think this will be tough.
Offense
Man, Baker Mayfield is making it awfully hard for me to not pick him every week. He's been stellar nearly every game. Mixon has been spectacular, but seems to have angered someone as he routinely sees about 4 snaps a game. Perine has been relegated to the football equivalent of a closer. I just have to go with Mayfield this week. He's been great and I think he continues to extend plays this Saturday and carries the Sooners again. 300+ yards and he accounts for 4 scores.
Defense
Big stage for the defense against a mobile quarterback. This one will be up to the front 4 to contain the Q and apply pressure. I've been all over the place with my picks on D and so far I don't think I've even come close yet. That changes Saturday. Eric Motherfuckin Striker takes the field for his last taste of Bevo (not beaver, presumably he'll taste more of that down the road). He was an absolute menace last week and I think he carries it over. 3 sacks, tackles by the shitload and a turnover.
Score
The spread I saw most recently was OU by 17. I don't quite think the Sooners cover. I think it is a somewhat ugly game, but the Sooners do enough to make the sphincter relax by 1:30 or so. For my man RP I think the Sooners put up 40, texas 27.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner
texas is talented, though they have (according to Mel Kiper types) a dearth of nfl prospects with not one player expected to be drafted next spring. That said, they come in with 2 losses (OSU and Cal) that very easily could have been wins had their special teams not turned the inside of their unis burnt orange. The Sooners should win this game, they are better in all phases. However, anyone who has watched this series over the years knows, anything can happen. The blowouts only seem to happen when they are unexpected (I took 2.3 seconds to think about that last statement). With nothing else to play for, this is the season for Ut.
Those that know me personally know I only like burnt orange in one capacity, my nether regions. They also know I expect the worst nearly every week. I am nervous about this. After TCU publicly fisted them last weekend, the masses expect a repeat. I don't see a demolition, I think this will be tough.
Offense
Man, Baker Mayfield is making it awfully hard for me to not pick him every week. He's been stellar nearly every game. Mixon has been spectacular, but seems to have angered someone as he routinely sees about 4 snaps a game. Perine has been relegated to the football equivalent of a closer. I just have to go with Mayfield this week. He's been great and I think he continues to extend plays this Saturday and carries the Sooners again. 300+ yards and he accounts for 4 scores.
Defense
Big stage for the defense against a mobile quarterback. This one will be up to the front 4 to contain the Q and apply pressure. I've been all over the place with my picks on D and so far I don't think I've even come close yet. That changes Saturday. Eric Motherfuckin Striker takes the field for his last taste of Bevo (not beaver, presumably he'll taste more of that down the road). He was an absolute menace last week and I think he carries it over. 3 sacks, tackles by the shitload and a turnover.
Score
The spread I saw most recently was OU by 17. I don't quite think the Sooners cover. I think it is a somewhat ugly game, but the Sooners do enough to make the sphincter relax by 1:30 or so. For my man RP I think the Sooners put up 40, texas 27.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner
Friday, September 4, 2015
The Akron Zips
The 2015 season kicks off for the Oklahoma Sooners football team tomorrow. And if you read our previews, this season comes with much optimism, if not angst. While there are questions to be answered on both sides of the ball, many are looking forward to heading down to Norman tomorrow to watch the boys plant some shiny cleats in the collective ass cracks of the lowly Zips from the MAC. Questions be damned, this will be a cakewalk. Or will it really? While the budget-friendly sneaker from the 80s (turns out they still make these FYI - research!) may not strike fear in your heart, this a dangerous team to look past.
The days of OU having enough talent to sleepwalk past a team like this ended about eight years ago, if you think otherwise, you've been pulling a Rip Van Winkle since then. Akron has a talented defense that ranked very highly nationally last season and they return the bulk of their starters. Cody Grice is a load that plays NT and turns around and becomes their short yardage battering ram in goal line scenarios (12 TDs last season). That type of athleticism can be found at nearly every position where Terry Bowden (yes, that Terry Bowden) has brought in many former 3 and 4 star recruits that left bigger programs for various reasons.
The Zips biggest questions lie on offense where they struggled last season. That said, they return eight starters on that side of the football. While Bowden hasn't named his starter, his two leading candidates are a two-year starter in Kyle Pohl, your more traditional pocket passer and Tra'von Chapman, a former 4 star recruit at Pitt who is the running hybrid style Q that gives Mike Stoops et al fits. Bowden is waiting to name the starter until "tee time," a smart bit of gamesmanship no doubt designed to give OU two very different styles to think about. Bowden has coached on this stage before, he will absolutely have his guys ready. If you think Oklahoma hasn't been the focus of every off-season workout and fall camp scrimmage, you're sorely mistaken.
In short, this is a trap game. A no name school from a second tier conference coming in to play the big bad owners of seven national championships. OU, at last look, is favored by 31.5. If I knew a bookie, I'd absolutely take Akron and the points. I almost regret looking these guys up. I think OU absolutely should win this game, and likely will, but I'm certainly far more worried than I was yesterday.
Offense
First game of the year is always a tricky one. I think I picked Trevor Knight last year. Then he went the way of Lonnie Jones where I vowed to never make that mistake again. It's tough picking a guy based on last season, but Samaje Perine seems as safe a bet as one could want. As Mitch detailed in the Offense Preview, he's an animal that almost no one could even contain. While that would be the smart pick, I'm going to be "clever" and go in a different direction. I think Sterling Shepard returns to the field healthy for the first time in nearly a year, and goes off. I think Mayfield leans on his best receiving weapon in his first start and hits him for a pair of scores. Shepard will be the forgotten man no more after Saturday night.
Defense
Whew, at the end of last season, picking the defensive player of the game was throwing darts...with no dartboard. I'm cautiously optimistic that this unit will come together this season. If it does, it will start with the best player out there, Eric Motherfuckin' Striker. He was quieted a bit last season, likely because he was one of the few guys offenses had to game plan for. I think whomever Bowden starts in the backfield, gets acquainted with Striker early and often. 1 sack and 1 forced fumble for Striker on Saturday. Boom.
Score
As I said, I don't feel like the Sooners will cover 31.5. I think the offense will struggle early as new pieces try to assimilate and Akron comes harder than they expected. I'm hopeful that Lincoln Riley can do what Heupel never could, make adjustments. I think he will, and the Sooners will get it done in an early wake up call that might actually be a good thing. Sooners win 27-10. I'm pumped for a new season and ready to see the Crimson and Cream sprint out on the field (though I won't actually be able to do this, thanks PPV) and roll some heads. Welcome back reader(s).
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.
The days of OU having enough talent to sleepwalk past a team like this ended about eight years ago, if you think otherwise, you've been pulling a Rip Van Winkle since then. Akron has a talented defense that ranked very highly nationally last season and they return the bulk of their starters. Cody Grice is a load that plays NT and turns around and becomes their short yardage battering ram in goal line scenarios (12 TDs last season). That type of athleticism can be found at nearly every position where Terry Bowden (yes, that Terry Bowden) has brought in many former 3 and 4 star recruits that left bigger programs for various reasons.
The Zips biggest questions lie on offense where they struggled last season. That said, they return eight starters on that side of the football. While Bowden hasn't named his starter, his two leading candidates are a two-year starter in Kyle Pohl, your more traditional pocket passer and Tra'von Chapman, a former 4 star recruit at Pitt who is the running hybrid style Q that gives Mike Stoops et al fits. Bowden is waiting to name the starter until "tee time," a smart bit of gamesmanship no doubt designed to give OU two very different styles to think about. Bowden has coached on this stage before, he will absolutely have his guys ready. If you think Oklahoma hasn't been the focus of every off-season workout and fall camp scrimmage, you're sorely mistaken.
In short, this is a trap game. A no name school from a second tier conference coming in to play the big bad owners of seven national championships. OU, at last look, is favored by 31.5. If I knew a bookie, I'd absolutely take Akron and the points. I almost regret looking these guys up. I think OU absolutely should win this game, and likely will, but I'm certainly far more worried than I was yesterday.
Offense
First game of the year is always a tricky one. I think I picked Trevor Knight last year. Then he went the way of Lonnie Jones where I vowed to never make that mistake again. It's tough picking a guy based on last season, but Samaje Perine seems as safe a bet as one could want. As Mitch detailed in the Offense Preview, he's an animal that almost no one could even contain. While that would be the smart pick, I'm going to be "clever" and go in a different direction. I think Sterling Shepard returns to the field healthy for the first time in nearly a year, and goes off. I think Mayfield leans on his best receiving weapon in his first start and hits him for a pair of scores. Shepard will be the forgotten man no more after Saturday night.
Defense
Whew, at the end of last season, picking the defensive player of the game was throwing darts...with no dartboard. I'm cautiously optimistic that this unit will come together this season. If it does, it will start with the best player out there, Eric Motherfuckin' Striker. He was quieted a bit last season, likely because he was one of the few guys offenses had to game plan for. I think whomever Bowden starts in the backfield, gets acquainted with Striker early and often. 1 sack and 1 forced fumble for Striker on Saturday. Boom.
Score
As I said, I don't feel like the Sooners will cover 31.5. I think the offense will struggle early as new pieces try to assimilate and Akron comes harder than they expected. I'm hopeful that Lincoln Riley can do what Heupel never could, make adjustments. I think he will, and the Sooners will get it done in an early wake up call that might actually be a good thing. Sooners win 27-10. I'm pumped for a new season and ready to see the Crimson and Cream sprint out on the field (though I won't actually be able to do this, thanks PPV) and roll some heads. Welcome back reader(s).
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
The 2015 Sooners Awards and Predictions
Unlike most years, I'm not going to do a final record prediction. I want the same thing everyone else wants, and I just can't see a way to put it out there seriously. I think OU will absolutely improve upon last season, that's as much as I'm willing to predict so it leaves a pretty wide swath to cover.
I will, however, put out the awards/predictions/superlatives that I enjoy (if only me).
Oldest Looking Sooner: Devante Bond
This is a new award, one born strictly out of the fact that I happened across this photo while doing my exhaustive research on the defense. If you told me this guy was once cast as "Tough Guy #2" on an episode of Hill Street Blues, I would absolutely believe you.
TC Bread Award: Jordan Smallwood
This award needs no explanation. I sifted through the roster and found Daimler, Christian who brought us such classics as the LeBaron and Cordoba. Also in the running was punter-cum-pornstar Jack Steed. Yet no one could unseat the incumbent. Poor Jordan Smallwood.
Most Likely to Disappoint: Baker Mayfield
This is no knock on Mayfield per se, but you know the old line about the backup being the most popular player on a team. I think Mayfield fell victim to that as Trevor Knight shat his crimson pants brown last year. I do think he will be a massive upgrade (tough not to be) but I don't think he's Bradford part 2 and, for many, that will be a disappointment.
Matt McCoy Memorial Gas Rag: Jordan Thomas
I opined last season that I hope no one earned this award, Thomas did so, and as such he goes into the season currently working to lose it. Thomas was not good last season. He was the whipping boy on an otherwise subpar secondary.
Old Steady: Samaje Perine
OK, now to the real awards and the only two that really matter (editors note: none of them really matter). Samaje reprises the Old Steady award for the first time since Travis Lewis. He's one of the best running backs in the country, but he's not just a home run threat. He's a battering ram that can be counted on to get 3 to 4 yards every time he touches the ball. Hence, Old Steady.
Motherfucker: Eric Striker
Perhaps it's an indication of a drop in talent, perhaps it's that we've been lucky enough to have two elite talents emerge early and become dominant mainstays on the defense, whatever the reason Eric Motherfuckin' Striker follows Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson as the second two-time Motherfucker winner since the inception way back in 2000. Striker is an absolute menace, always playing at a speed faster than anyone around him and disrupting offenses in some way nearly every down. Eric Motherfuckin' Striker.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner
The 2015 Oklahoma Sooners Defensive Preview
The 2015 season is nigh upon us and the defense will very likely be what determines if the Sooners can make a run to the playoff, or idle by as also-rans yet again.
When examining the Sooners roster on defense, it's hard not to notice that they are pretty young as a whole. There are only 4 seniors in the two deep, 2 of them start, while no freshman are starting, that unit doesn't scream seasoned vet. There are absolutely some talented guys there, including guys like Dominique Alexander who, though not a senior, has more experience as a junior than most older guys. It's not all doom and gloom, but there needs to be a significant improvement over last season when the Sooner D singlehandedly bought the local Tums salesman's pool.
The defensive backfield was abysmal. These weren't lapses either, though I guess the entire months of September, October, and November are a lapse relative to the age of the Sun. Zack Sanchez looked like he might be the real deal, and as it stands now, is easily our best guy back there. Steven Parker looked very promising as a true frosh last season, he stands to start at NB. Jordan Thomas was truly awful, and completely unprepared to play last season. Let's hope a year of reflection on last season has motivated him to be more prepared to run, tackle, etc this year. I think Hatari "2000" Byrd and Ahmad Thomas showed promise as well. If we squint just right, this could be the most improved group on the team. They damn sure need to be.
The LB spot is pretty solid, I think. Jordan Evans beat out Frank Shannon for one of the starting spots. Both are salty, and I suspect Big Frank will get plenty of reps. It won't shock me a bit to see him starting at some point, but don't sleep on Jordan Evans either. Dominique Alexander is also extremely solid. A tackles machine, he seems to be in the right place on most downs. The entire unit desperately needs to improve in the passing game, however.
Defensive Line has some question marks as well. The DE spots are locked down hard by Eric Motherfuckin Striker and Charles "Ass" Tapper. Both can get to the QB and fly around the field, but the depth behind them is firmly in the "question mark" category. Speaking of, the middle of the line could be trouble. Dimon, Romar, and Wade comprise the most known commodities. Though the Big 12 is pretty pass-happy these days, getting a push from these guys will be crucial in minimizing our DB's exposure. This is starting to feel like a lot of "ifs."
Last season, the defense finished 114 in the nation vs the pass. Some changes have been made, moving full-time to the 4-2-5, or at least as a base package could help. I also read that last season they had two different coaches for the secondary, one for the safeties and one for the corners!? One player said that this season communication has been so much better now that they're all in the same meetings together. Why not have the QB and receivers meet separately and then just figure it out on gameday? (I can't confidently say that didn't happen last year as well.) I'm not even a reasonable facsimile of a pee-wee football coach, but this seems like a pretty damn obvious way to set things up.
There is a lot that has to go right for this defense to push the Sooners to the playoff. Pretty much every unit has to improve...a lot. They aren't going to be the '85 Bears, but maybe they can do enough to get wins. I hope Mitch is right about that 45-55 point per game average. Not only would it be fun, it might be the only way to win.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.
When examining the Sooners roster on defense, it's hard not to notice that they are pretty young as a whole. There are only 4 seniors in the two deep, 2 of them start, while no freshman are starting, that unit doesn't scream seasoned vet. There are absolutely some talented guys there, including guys like Dominique Alexander who, though not a senior, has more experience as a junior than most older guys. It's not all doom and gloom, but there needs to be a significant improvement over last season when the Sooner D singlehandedly bought the local Tums salesman's pool.
The defensive backfield was abysmal. These weren't lapses either, though I guess the entire months of September, October, and November are a lapse relative to the age of the Sun. Zack Sanchez looked like he might be the real deal, and as it stands now, is easily our best guy back there. Steven Parker looked very promising as a true frosh last season, he stands to start at NB. Jordan Thomas was truly awful, and completely unprepared to play last season. Let's hope a year of reflection on last season has motivated him to be more prepared to run, tackle, etc this year. I think Hatari "2000" Byrd and Ahmad Thomas showed promise as well. If we squint just right, this could be the most improved group on the team. They damn sure need to be.
The LB spot is pretty solid, I think. Jordan Evans beat out Frank Shannon for one of the starting spots. Both are salty, and I suspect Big Frank will get plenty of reps. It won't shock me a bit to see him starting at some point, but don't sleep on Jordan Evans either. Dominique Alexander is also extremely solid. A tackles machine, he seems to be in the right place on most downs. The entire unit desperately needs to improve in the passing game, however.
Defensive Line has some question marks as well. The DE spots are locked down hard by Eric Motherfuckin Striker and Charles "Ass" Tapper. Both can get to the QB and fly around the field, but the depth behind them is firmly in the "question mark" category. Speaking of, the middle of the line could be trouble. Dimon, Romar, and Wade comprise the most known commodities. Though the Big 12 is pretty pass-happy these days, getting a push from these guys will be crucial in minimizing our DB's exposure. This is starting to feel like a lot of "ifs."
Last season, the defense finished 114 in the nation vs the pass. Some changes have been made, moving full-time to the 4-2-5, or at least as a base package could help. I also read that last season they had two different coaches for the secondary, one for the safeties and one for the corners!? One player said that this season communication has been so much better now that they're all in the same meetings together. Why not have the QB and receivers meet separately and then just figure it out on gameday? (I can't confidently say that didn't happen last year as well.) I'm not even a reasonable facsimile of a pee-wee football coach, but this seems like a pretty damn obvious way to set things up.
There is a lot that has to go right for this defense to push the Sooners to the playoff. Pretty much every unit has to improve...a lot. They aren't going to be the '85 Bears, but maybe they can do enough to get wins. I hope Mitch is right about that 45-55 point per game average. Not only would it be fun, it might be the only way to win.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.
Saturday, August 30, 2014
The 2014 Sooners
Welcome back Steamroller faithful, we are back again for another season filled with flawlessly accurate predictions, clinical exploits of mastery over the written word, and rapist wit. Much ballyhoo is being directed at the 2014 incarnation of Bobby Stoops' squad. I for one am excited, and it seems that 2 years after hitting the reset button, Mikey has started to do Mike Stoops things that everyone clamored for prior to his re-hiring. There is real talent at nearly every position, and while the likes of Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin will certainly be missed, the front 7 give me the same feeling I had when I opened my first Playboy as a youth and feasted my eyes on hip-to-hip beav. Trevor Knight, who are ye really? I hope he comes back as the guy everyone remembers and not the guy everyone seems to have forgotten.
Mitch did a masterful job of covering the awards, and as the spoilers are out I see little reason to rehash them, but suffice it to say that Eric Motherfuckin Striker should have you (palm up/arm sweep at Sooner Nation) excited. I am instead taking the liberty of creating a few new awards for this season.
The TC Bread Award
Several years ago, I was looking through a player list for the Sooners roster and came across a player named TC Bread. Without question, this is the funniest name in the history of Sooner football. I never heard of this player again. To my knowledge, he never saw the field. Hell, he could have been a made up name by someone at the paper (side note: I once did this for a Sooners game. As a bright-eyed freshman I was asked to type up the roster list for the Nebraska game to be distributed in the press box during the game. Naturally, I put my own name, accurate height and weight, on the roster along with some other made up dudes, fun). Anyway, this year it's Jordan Smallwood.
Player Least Likely to Get Girls Based Solely On His Name
Poor Jordan Smallwood.
Best Silhouette
Almost went for a chiseled athlete but decided instead to go for OC Josh Heupel instead. His doughy pelican neck creeps ever so slightly over his half-buttoned coaches polo while his gut struggles to gain freedom from below. This leads me to believe that a silhouette of his would look like a humorous humpty-dumpty. I would buy this from Fathead.
Scariest in a Shower Situation
This one goes to the entire defensive line roster. They line up in two lines, shoulder to shoulder, across from one another, gauntlet style. Freshman have to run between the two lines getting into and out of the shower. I think this would feel a lot like running through one of those cages for RB's with the pylons on springs that slap your upper body and teach holding onto the football. I'm not on drugs.
Mat McCoy Memorial Gas Rag?
This one is actually legit, and unlike Old Steady I sincerely hope this position isn't filled. It, sadly, had been filled rather competently by Gabe Lynn the last couple of seasons. I hope no one steps into this role this year. Any DB with a penchant for getting burned with ease and alacrity teeters on the cusp of being dubbed Gas Rag. This is less than ideal.
Louisiana Tech
I suppose we should discuss this adversary. The line I most recently saw was OU giving 35. While I whole heartedly agree that the Sooners will win this game, I would put my money on LaTech with that kind of line. I'm just not confident enough in Trevor Knight et al, and even more Josh Heupel, that I think we can put up 40 points on these guys (though a shutout isn't out of the question). I think our defense is going to great, and while OU has question marks it has them in the right places. I'm firmly in the camp that every team looks better with good line play. A good offensive and defensive line will make everyone else on that respective side of the ball look better. Conversely, great skill players look bad if the line is getting fisted all day. Offensively, we have little experience returning at WR, RB and frankly QB (in spite of the Sugar Bowl performance), but up front we return a ton of veterans. Defensively, the Sooners might actually have 2 full defensive lines worthy of starting, there is that much depth. Yes, losing Frank Shannon hurts. A lot. But as Dominique Alexander aptly demonstrated (what a beast!), some times a star going down (RIP Corey Nelson) paves the way for an even better player to step up. Hopefully Jordan Evans does something similar.
Offense
I'd like to go Trevor Knight, I really would. I hope as much as anyone that he is the world-beater we saw in the Alabama game. But, until I see it consistently, I'm not ready to bestow anything as prestigious as this blogs pre-game OPG yet. I'm going against the grain a bit. I think Keith Ford comes in and makes little brown underwear streaks of this defense at LaTech. I like him to break out in a big way, at least one touch and 100+ on the ground.
Defense
I really feel inspired by Dominique Alexander (my current front-runner for Old Steady). He makes a ton of tackles and by his own assessment, he's no longer "thinking out there", just reacting and making plays. That's scary. But, in spite of all of this fluffing I'm doing, I'm going with Eric Motherfuckin' Striker. I feel like Mikey is going to do some good things with him this year, and we will see him in the backfield sodomizing teams in obscene ways. I think he separates a QB from the football once today, and makes big plays all evening.
Score
Ideally Trevor Knight and the boys will be sipping gatorade and wearing awkward unbroken-in hats by midway through the 3rd quarter. However as I said, I think the Sooners control this one, though maybe not to the tune of a 35 point win, but close. I think the offense shakes off rust early, and gets in a groove as things go on. The defense? Well, I think it will make a long day for Skip Holtz and co. Sooners win this one in front of a PPV TV audience of dozens, 35-3.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.
It's good to be back.
Mitch did a masterful job of covering the awards, and as the spoilers are out I see little reason to rehash them, but suffice it to say that Eric Motherfuckin Striker should have you (palm up/arm sweep at Sooner Nation) excited. I am instead taking the liberty of creating a few new awards for this season.
The TC Bread Award
Several years ago, I was looking through a player list for the Sooners roster and came across a player named TC Bread. Without question, this is the funniest name in the history of Sooner football. I never heard of this player again. To my knowledge, he never saw the field. Hell, he could have been a made up name by someone at the paper (side note: I once did this for a Sooners game. As a bright-eyed freshman I was asked to type up the roster list for the Nebraska game to be distributed in the press box during the game. Naturally, I put my own name, accurate height and weight, on the roster along with some other made up dudes, fun). Anyway, this year it's Jordan Smallwood.
Player Least Likely to Get Girls Based Solely On His Name
Poor Jordan Smallwood.
Best Silhouette
Almost went for a chiseled athlete but decided instead to go for OC Josh Heupel instead. His doughy pelican neck creeps ever so slightly over his half-buttoned coaches polo while his gut struggles to gain freedom from below. This leads me to believe that a silhouette of his would look like a humorous humpty-dumpty. I would buy this from Fathead.
Scariest in a Shower Situation
This one goes to the entire defensive line roster. They line up in two lines, shoulder to shoulder, across from one another, gauntlet style. Freshman have to run between the two lines getting into and out of the shower. I think this would feel a lot like running through one of those cages for RB's with the pylons on springs that slap your upper body and teach holding onto the football. I'm not on drugs.
Mat McCoy Memorial Gas Rag?
This one is actually legit, and unlike Old Steady I sincerely hope this position isn't filled. It, sadly, had been filled rather competently by Gabe Lynn the last couple of seasons. I hope no one steps into this role this year. Any DB with a penchant for getting burned with ease and alacrity teeters on the cusp of being dubbed Gas Rag. This is less than ideal.
Louisiana Tech
I suppose we should discuss this adversary. The line I most recently saw was OU giving 35. While I whole heartedly agree that the Sooners will win this game, I would put my money on LaTech with that kind of line. I'm just not confident enough in Trevor Knight et al, and even more Josh Heupel, that I think we can put up 40 points on these guys (though a shutout isn't out of the question). I think our defense is going to great, and while OU has question marks it has them in the right places. I'm firmly in the camp that every team looks better with good line play. A good offensive and defensive line will make everyone else on that respective side of the ball look better. Conversely, great skill players look bad if the line is getting fisted all day. Offensively, we have little experience returning at WR, RB and frankly QB (in spite of the Sugar Bowl performance), but up front we return a ton of veterans. Defensively, the Sooners might actually have 2 full defensive lines worthy of starting, there is that much depth. Yes, losing Frank Shannon hurts. A lot. But as Dominique Alexander aptly demonstrated (what a beast!), some times a star going down (RIP Corey Nelson) paves the way for an even better player to step up. Hopefully Jordan Evans does something similar.
Offense
I'd like to go Trevor Knight, I really would. I hope as much as anyone that he is the world-beater we saw in the Alabama game. But, until I see it consistently, I'm not ready to bestow anything as prestigious as this blogs pre-game OPG yet. I'm going against the grain a bit. I think Keith Ford comes in and makes little brown underwear streaks of this defense at LaTech. I like him to break out in a big way, at least one touch and 100+ on the ground.
Defense
I really feel inspired by Dominique Alexander (my current front-runner for Old Steady). He makes a ton of tackles and by his own assessment, he's no longer "thinking out there", just reacting and making plays. That's scary. But, in spite of all of this fluffing I'm doing, I'm going with Eric Motherfuckin' Striker. I feel like Mikey is going to do some good things with him this year, and we will see him in the backfield sodomizing teams in obscene ways. I think he separates a QB from the football once today, and makes big plays all evening.
Score
Ideally Trevor Knight and the boys will be sipping gatorade and wearing awkward unbroken-in hats by midway through the 3rd quarter. However as I said, I think the Sooners control this one, though maybe not to the tune of a 35 point win, but close. I think the offense shakes off rust early, and gets in a groove as things go on. The defense? Well, I think it will make a long day for Skip Holtz and co. Sooners win this one in front of a PPV TV audience of dozens, 35-3.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.
It's good to be back.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Iowa State
As many of us suspected, last week's game was a drubbing. OU was outmatched in nearly every phase. Most notably our offense failed to do much of anything at all. Later I read some ridiculousness about how Baylor was slanting on the defensive line and that was why they couldn't get anything going. The one late drive where OU marched down and scored was the only one where Baylor didn't "slant" up front. So this shit is what completely baffled us. No one at all on the coaching staff was able to see this and adjust? My suspicion is Briles et al were equally baffled that this one wrinkle was 1) so devastatingly effective and 2) no adjustments were made throughout the entire game. If this is all true, then that is really embarrassing for the OU staff. Let's not even get into the fact that we were unable to score from the 1 yard line. Our defense played quite well, that is until they were asked to stay on the field for 90% of the game. Alas, the natives appear to be restless as Heupel is nearly certainly going to be ridden out of town on a rail, and the sooner the better I say.
I, predictably, know almost nothing about Iowa State. I tried hard (not really) to come up with something creative and entertaining to open with about their team. I'm just not feeling terribly inspired with the Sooner football program of late. I hate to say it's wearing me down because I don't think that's exactly true, but it gets tough to draw inspiration from the uninspired I guess. This is in Norman today, so it should be a W for our boys in Crimson. I've learned, though, that nothing is to be taken for granted anymore, so hopefully we can play solid D and do enough on offense to win this one.
Offense
I've officially crossed over into the realm of disliking the Belldozer era, and I'm really not sure it's even his fault. He seems to know his limitations, yet he's consistently asked to do things outside of them. Sadly, that's just one of many problems with our offense (albeit a large one). All of that said, I'm saying fuck you to any sort of logic. After all, it's gotten me nowhere this year in terms of coming close to picking one of these right. I'm going with Sterling Shepard. He's the closest thing to a favorite target of Bell's. He's also damn fun to watch after the catch. I like him to do something great today. That great thing might be hooking up with two girls at the same time after the game tonight, but whatever, I'll take it.
Defense
I think the defense has been showing some promise. They're often asked to do too much insomuch as they are on the field waaaaay too long. However, they often start really well. I'm hopeful that Mike has the guys pointed in the right direction and our D is slowly returning to it's past dominance. Yes, I'm aware how fucking stupid I sound on the heels of giving up 42 or whatever to Baylor. I still think there is a lot of promise on that side of the ball, and we seem to not be doing as much of the dumb shit we had been in recent years. Today I like Eric "Ted" Striker (well played Mitch, it's official now). I think Ted is in the backfield a lot, as he is wont to do. He's a great blitzer and the OT's we see generally can't match his speed on the edge. I like some big stops from him today. Side note: I'm tired of Gabe Lynn acting like he's Ronnie Fucking Lott back there. Dear Gabe, you still fucking suck. You miss far too many tackles and you still get burned deep. Yes, you're embarrassing skills are better hidden at Safety than they were at Corner, but make no mistake, you are shit. You are Gas Rag for a reason. Please graduate or expire your eligibility soon. Thanks, --the guys at Steamroller.
Score
I don't know much about Iowa State, but I know we've embarrassed them enough in past seasons that they are "up" for this chance to beat a down Sooner club. So we'll get their best shot. I'm glad this is at home. I think we'll be able to handle them for the most part. I like the Sooners today, I really do. OU 27 Iowa State 17.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.
I, predictably, know almost nothing about Iowa State. I tried hard (not really) to come up with something creative and entertaining to open with about their team. I'm just not feeling terribly inspired with the Sooner football program of late. I hate to say it's wearing me down because I don't think that's exactly true, but it gets tough to draw inspiration from the uninspired I guess. This is in Norman today, so it should be a W for our boys in Crimson. I've learned, though, that nothing is to be taken for granted anymore, so hopefully we can play solid D and do enough on offense to win this one.
Offense
I've officially crossed over into the realm of disliking the Belldozer era, and I'm really not sure it's even his fault. He seems to know his limitations, yet he's consistently asked to do things outside of them. Sadly, that's just one of many problems with our offense (albeit a large one). All of that said, I'm saying fuck you to any sort of logic. After all, it's gotten me nowhere this year in terms of coming close to picking one of these right. I'm going with Sterling Shepard. He's the closest thing to a favorite target of Bell's. He's also damn fun to watch after the catch. I like him to do something great today. That great thing might be hooking up with two girls at the same time after the game tonight, but whatever, I'll take it.
Defense
I think the defense has been showing some promise. They're often asked to do too much insomuch as they are on the field waaaaay too long. However, they often start really well. I'm hopeful that Mike has the guys pointed in the right direction and our D is slowly returning to it's past dominance. Yes, I'm aware how fucking stupid I sound on the heels of giving up 42 or whatever to Baylor. I still think there is a lot of promise on that side of the ball, and we seem to not be doing as much of the dumb shit we had been in recent years. Today I like Eric "Ted" Striker (well played Mitch, it's official now). I think Ted is in the backfield a lot, as he is wont to do. He's a great blitzer and the OT's we see generally can't match his speed on the edge. I like some big stops from him today. Side note: I'm tired of Gabe Lynn acting like he's Ronnie Fucking Lott back there. Dear Gabe, you still fucking suck. You miss far too many tackles and you still get burned deep. Yes, you're embarrassing skills are better hidden at Safety than they were at Corner, but make no mistake, you are shit. You are Gas Rag for a reason. Please graduate or expire your eligibility soon. Thanks, --the guys at Steamroller.
Score
I don't know much about Iowa State, but I know we've embarrassed them enough in past seasons that they are "up" for this chance to beat a down Sooner club. So we'll get their best shot. I'm glad this is at home. I think we'll be able to handle them for the most part. I like the Sooners today, I really do. OU 27 Iowa State 17.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
OU vs. Baylor Or... Texas Tech Part the Deuce.. Maybe
Last game: The Sooners find themselves matched up against a team trying to make a statement and prove their lofty ranking was deserved. It was strength versus strength. Spread offense versus a defense designed to stop such a thing. The Nation found out the Red Raiders were overhyped.
This week: The Sooners find themselves matched up against a team trying to make a statement and prove their lofty ranking is deserved. It's strength versus strength. Spread offense versus a defense designed to stop such a thing. What will The Nation learn tonight?
The Baylor Bears, much like the Red Raiders, have played nobody leading up to this matchup. Buffalo has the best record of anyone the Bears have faced. The best Big 12 team they faced, K-State, is also the team that held them to a season low of 35 points. At the time of the Texas Tech matchup, the Red Raiders stiffest test had been TCU who held them to their lowest points of the season.
All of this to say that rankings and hype don't mean shit. This year's Oklahoma football team, while still a bit of a mystery and disappointment (oh, how spoiled are we?), have been tested. They've played in hostile territory and they've played against some ranked teams. You know at this point that there is a decent shot the Sooners are going to score 30. Maybe not much more than that but they can get there. You know they are going to hold someone under their scoring average (except texas damnit).
Baylor's numbers are off the charts. Their two leading receivers each have 30+ catches and average over 20 yards per. Their leading rushers each average over 8 yards per. It's PlayStation set on Rookie. But look at who they've played. It's real life set on Rookie. Wofford, Buffalo, Kansas, Iowa State.
Waco is probably the least intimidating place in the Big 12 to play. Besides the Cotton Bowl it's historically been the second best home away from home.
This need not be as scary as it is.
OFFENSE
No secret here it's all about controlling the clock, keeping Baylor off the field and making Baylor prove they can stop the run. Blake Bell just needs to be competent and Brennan Clay and Co. need to hang on to the football. Bell needs to take the easy passes when they are there but the offense needs to dictate the terms by shoving a potent ground game up Baylor's unproven ass.
For the love of all things holy I would like to put a good jinx on someone this week. I want, again for the love of all things holy, for Roy Damn Finch to step in and be Mr. Everything in Trey Millard's absence.
Speaking of Trey Millard can we pour a little out for our homey? WTF man? Godspeed in your rehab and thanks.
DEFENSE
Hoo boy. Everyone needs to double up on jock straps tonight. This is going to be a tester no doubt. It's nice having Frank Shannon back. That helps.
I can't find anywhere that says he isn't playing so I'm picking Eric Striker. He's the best blitzer by far and getting to the quarterback is the key to this Sooner squad getting off the field. This is my "Chess vs. Checkers" matchup to watch tonight and I like Ted Striker's chances.
THE SCORE
I am really counting on another paper tiger here. I am assuming that Baylor's defense is not only untested but also not up to the challenge. I am counting on the Sooners D being ready for the biggest test of their season. And I am counting on the Baylor offense to hershey squirt their britches a little bit when faced with a defense that is not made up of electric football figurines. Finally, I am counting on the Brothers Stoops and Josh Heupel to gameplan half as effectively as Art Briles.
A lot has to fall in place here. But it will and the Sooners make a statement of their own this week.
OU 42, Baylor 35
Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner
This week: The Sooners find themselves matched up against a team trying to make a statement and prove their lofty ranking is deserved. It's strength versus strength. Spread offense versus a defense designed to stop such a thing. What will The Nation learn tonight?
The Baylor Bears, much like the Red Raiders, have played nobody leading up to this matchup. Buffalo has the best record of anyone the Bears have faced. The best Big 12 team they faced, K-State, is also the team that held them to a season low of 35 points. At the time of the Texas Tech matchup, the Red Raiders stiffest test had been TCU who held them to their lowest points of the season.
All of this to say that rankings and hype don't mean shit. This year's Oklahoma football team, while still a bit of a mystery and disappointment (oh, how spoiled are we?), have been tested. They've played in hostile territory and they've played against some ranked teams. You know at this point that there is a decent shot the Sooners are going to score 30. Maybe not much more than that but they can get there. You know they are going to hold someone under their scoring average (except texas damnit).
Baylor's numbers are off the charts. Their two leading receivers each have 30+ catches and average over 20 yards per. Their leading rushers each average over 8 yards per. It's PlayStation set on Rookie. But look at who they've played. It's real life set on Rookie. Wofford, Buffalo, Kansas, Iowa State.
Waco is probably the least intimidating place in the Big 12 to play. Besides the Cotton Bowl it's historically been the second best home away from home.
This need not be as scary as it is.
OFFENSE
No secret here it's all about controlling the clock, keeping Baylor off the field and making Baylor prove they can stop the run. Blake Bell just needs to be competent and Brennan Clay and Co. need to hang on to the football. Bell needs to take the easy passes when they are there but the offense needs to dictate the terms by shoving a potent ground game up Baylor's unproven ass.
For the love of all things holy I would like to put a good jinx on someone this week. I want, again for the love of all things holy, for Roy Damn Finch to step in and be Mr. Everything in Trey Millard's absence.
Speaking of Trey Millard can we pour a little out for our homey? WTF man? Godspeed in your rehab and thanks.
DEFENSE
Hoo boy. Everyone needs to double up on jock straps tonight. This is going to be a tester no doubt. It's nice having Frank Shannon back. That helps.
I can't find anywhere that says he isn't playing so I'm picking Eric Striker. He's the best blitzer by far and getting to the quarterback is the key to this Sooner squad getting off the field. This is my "Chess vs. Checkers" matchup to watch tonight and I like Ted Striker's chances.
THE SCORE
I am really counting on another paper tiger here. I am assuming that Baylor's defense is not only untested but also not up to the challenge. I am counting on the Sooners D being ready for the biggest test of their season. And I am counting on the Baylor offense to hershey squirt their britches a little bit when faced with a defense that is not made up of electric football figurines. Finally, I am counting on the Brothers Stoops and Josh Heupel to gameplan half as effectively as Art Briles.
A lot has to fall in place here. But it will and the Sooners make a statement of their own this week.
OU 42, Baylor 35
Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner
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