Oklahoma Sooners versus Texas Tech Red Raiders

Good evening, Sooner fans. I am begging your forgiveness for the tardiness and brevity of this puff piece. The Oklahoma bureau of Sooner Steamroller has been without power since Tuesday on account of an apocalyptic ice storm. 2020 is relentless in its commitment to being the worst. 

Alas we press on.

OFFENSE

Spencer Rattler did a fine job of game management last week and he found his playmaker in Marvin Mims, Jr. This week I'd like to see Rattler continue to build and a key to his development is Austin Stogner. He had a nice game against Texas but last week dropped at least three balls that were heavily defended. His mission in life is to catch balls in traffic that are heavily defended. Stogner is my OPOG today.

DEFENSE

These guys are almost decent. I was but much pleased to see intensity and speed for the entire game. The Red Raiders offer another great opportunity to take a step forward. A night road game against a shit team is a recipe for heady vibes and PlayStation type numbers.

I am not picking a DPOG today. However, there are a couple of candidates who, if they don't watch themselves, could find themselves getting called out in a great way on this platform.

As an aside, it is patently ridiculous that country music legend, PRCA bronco rider and Sooner defensive end Ronnie Perkins is still not eligible to play as a result of a positive marijuana test last year. What in the actual shit. Can someone pull the stick out of the NCAA's asshole, please? This defense improves dramatically with him on the field.

SCORE

The Sooners cruise on the road and look and feel good doing it. I like the Sooners big time today. 

Sooners 49 Red Raider 17

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Oklahoma Sooners versus Iowa State

Quick post today, my friends, because, like the Sooners against K-State, I too can bail on quality work before the game or season is over.

Why the hell is there a culture of ineptitude on defense? How can you roll over both player and coach personnel and still continue to have a culture that allows big plays at bad times and is always awful at tackling in space?

I'll give a pass to the offense because Spencer Rattler was making his second career meaningful start and is not accustomed to playing with his back against the wall. For him, it was a good learning experience. You look at the last three QB's and all were seasoned before they stepped foot on campus. But this defense, my God. They had an opportunity to take a step forward, to bail out the offense and to secure a game at home. Instead, they shit down their trouser leg and take three steps back. Maddening.

OFFENSE

Today the Sooners need to demonstrate a killer instinct and cannot under any circumstance take their foot off the gas. Spencer Rattler has to take a step forward and learn from last week's interceptions. He can't cram the ball into double coverage. There is no need. He doesn't need to play hero ball with his arm. For my OPOG I'm going Austin Stogner. He seems like a security blanket that Rattler can check down to instead of forcing something downfield. 

DEFENSE

Christ Almighty these guys. I guess the bar is so low here that I'd be satisfied if we can not allow a former walk on linebacker cum quarterback to turn in a Heisman worthy performance. Is that too much to ask? I fear it may be.

Look, I have to go to soonersports.com every week just to scroll through the roster to find someone to pick on this side of the ball and I've been doing that shit for about six years. I'm tired of it. I'm not picking a DPOG today and maybe not for a while until some one, any one, can start turning in a consistent enough quality performance such that I can remember their name from television from week to week. The whole defense can be DPOG by not stepping on their own dicks and maybe forcing a turnover. For real this is bullshit.

SCORE

You know Iowa State is going to play hard just like K-State and that they're well coached and that the Sooners have a preternatural knack for playing to the level of their opponent. So of course you should expect this to be closer than it ought to be. I'll say Sooners 35 and Iowa State 34.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

Oklahoma Sooners versus TCU Horned Frogs

The Sooners certainly are not boring. At our big football watch party last week we were unabashedly calling for the benching of Jalen Hurts in the first half. He had taken my game plan (don't make dumb choices, turn the ball over) and executed it horribly. The defense, for their part, looked like doo-doo. Then, the second half. It was clinical PlayStation execution.

The season is still alive and means something here on senior day in Norman.

OFFENSE

Hopefully Jalen remembers the offense is at its best when all options are involved. They were forced by the unfortunate CeeDee Lamb injury to learn this in the second half last week. Under no circumstances is it necessary for him to carry the ball 30 times. Spread the love. Get rid of the ball quickly and decisively. His running should be the first option maybe 10 times.

It is in this vein that someone besides Jalen should be OPOG. I'm going out on a limb here and picking Austin Stogner. I will also pour one out for the brief, semi-illustrious career of Grant Calcaterra.

DEFENSE

Let's be very clear that the Sooners offense was the best defense before we go sucking each others popscicles about the performance of the D in the second half last week.

Now, when they had to, they certainly played well. Let's keep it going this week. The proverbial turnover monkey is off the proverbial back so maybe they keep it going today. The key is a plus two turnover differential.

Who gets the first one? I'm going with my DPOG and Country Music Legend Ronnie Perkins.

THE SCORE

I feel like this one is not going to be clinical. TCU has a history of coming to Norman and making things difficult. They are the eager spoiler today. They take the loss but make it interesting.

I'm going Sooners 31, Horned Frogs 21

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner