Big day Sooner Nation, nay, HUGE day. Stoops gets the chance to play spoiler for the first time in a BCS game that I can think of off hand. Will the lack of pressure and/or expectations provide enough motivation to not just expect to win by putting on the uniform? Will all of the slights, all of the foregone conclusion speak create a big enough chip on the collective shoulder of Sooner football? Did UCF provide a wake up call for all of the "goliaths" out there? I am skeptical.
The Sooners come in with almost no one giving them chance. The best we can muster from anyone who pretends to know what they're talking about is "they'll play Alabama tougher than people think". That's great, keep that shit coming. I'm sure Bobby's pregame speech will include something about how if we play hard, maintain our assignments, hit 'em in the mouth early, and play Sooner football, we'll keep this thing within 28 points. Or not. Look, I love the "nobody believes in us" card. I'm glad to finally be the ones playing it as well. That said, Alabama is really fucking good. They're better in nearly (if not all of them) every phase of the game. I don't have a great feeling. More accurately I feel like we're going to get stomped on the scrotum.
Sooner nation is riding high after an improbable road win in Bedlam. Against an OSU team we didn't have much business beating. Against an OSU team that is nowhere nearly as good as Alabama. Today is going to take our best game, not of the season, but of the last decade. People seem to forget our offense has been anemic all season. This is the best D we will face. Alabama is hard. End of story.
Offense
People continue to point to the Auburn game as an indicator that Alabama is soft against the run. Hey, we run the ball pretty well, we've got a good chance here. I hope that is true, I'm sure Alabama has heard similar things. I do think that if we go into this thinking Student Body Left, Student Body Right, we're fucked. Yes, I think we need to play ball control, that is essential. The running game is our bread and butter and it will have to be awesome today for us to have a chance. However, if we can't make a few big plays, convert a few long third downs, and keep them honest with the passing game, we're fucked. So, I'm going on a limb here and picking Jalen Saunders. He's been our most electric player the last few weeks. I think he does some explosive things and makes a couple of huge plays.
Defense
This is where things get (even more) dicey. So many guys absolutely have to play well for us to win. We need strong play up front, Chaz "Ass" Tapper et al need to be dominant. On the back end, Aaron "Motherfuckin" Colvin needs to lock down half of the field so safeties can make plays and Gas Rag is as un-Gas Rag as possible. In the middle Frank Shannon has to fly around and bust heads anywhere in the middle of the field. Eric Striker needs to be his hair-on-fire self and have his facemask in McCarron's ass early and often. With all of these guys essential to our success, I still think one guy steps above the others. Dominique Alexander is that guy. I think he's in the backfield, he's a blanket in coverage and he even forces a turnover. America, meet Dominique Alexander.
Score
Oh Billy. Billy-Billy-Billy-Billy-Billy. It's time for Stoops to take the velvet sleeve off of the putter. I'm not going to pretend I feel good about this. They are the better team. Slighted underdogs or not, we have a slim chance of winning this. We'll need big plays, we'll need to get our defense off the field on 3rd down, and we'll need to win the turnover battle (handily, I suspect). I'm not saying those things can't or won't happen, I just think it's a long shot. With all of that doom and gloom in mind, I slowly and proudly extend both of my middle fingers in no particular direction. I think we do what it takes to restore some much-needed respect to our program. Sooners find a way to pull off the stunner, 27-23. Now lets beat the shit out of these rotten fucks.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
OU vs. Bama - Sugar Bowl
Welcome to fantasy land. For the remainder of this column we will operate outside the bounds of reality and pretend the Sooners have a shot at beating Alabama in the Sugar Bowl. We will imagine a world where some version of Trevor Bell or Blake Knight (I'm combining the names; who knows who is starting and we'll probably see both anyways) and Josh Heupel can move the ball and we can imagine a world where the Sooner D can avoid being crushed into rubble under the brute force of the Alabama running game.
Let's remember that past Alabama National Champion teams are not this year's Alabama squad. Let's remind ourselves that past bowl game embarrassments are not the same team as this year's Oklahoma squad. It's a new day. Anything can happen.
OFFENSE
Obviously Bama is going to load up to stop the run and force the Sooners to beat them via the pass. How effective can the Sooners rushing attack be without resorting to bullshit and trying too hard to be cute? This needs to be the Brennan Clay show with some good decision making on the QB read by Blake Knight.
Also, Trevor Bell needs to be able to make easy throws without abandoning the run game entirely. Use one to set up the other. Jalen Saunders and Sterling Shepherd can get separation on anyone. If the ghost of LaColtan Bester could hang on to a ball that would help things tremendously.
For my OPOG I'm going with Jalen Saunders. He's been a beast lately both as a receiver and punt returner. He'll need to be awesome in both phases again, especially offense, to soften up that run defense.
DEFENSE
The good news is AJ McCarron is not known for his scrambling ability. The bad news is Bama has a guy named TJ Yeldon who is damn good and the Sooners can sometimes be soft up the middle. I fear the ground and pound from Bama.
Somebody in that linebacking crew is going to have to step up and wrap up before those Alabama running backs get to the third level and Gabe Lynn either dives at ankles or gives a well intended yet ineffective shoulder tap. My nightmare is giving up yards in chunks on the ground before McCarron goes to work on Zack Sanchez.
For my DPOG I'm going with Dominique Alexander but he's going to have to wrap up. I also want to go with Charles Ass Tapper, Frank Shannon, Eric "Ted" Striker, Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin et al but I can only pick one so it's Dominique.
THE SCORE
The Sooner offense needs to take shots, put the ball in the hands of their best players and do all this while sticking to a meat and potatoes type game plan. Screw razzle dazzle. Go right at them and work the clock.
The D can have success but if they're on the field all night this will be Baylor all over again. If they can stay somewhat fresh then hopefully they can stay aggressive and get after McCarron a little bit. They have to slow down that run game.
Here's to the last game of the year. It's bittersweet. I never would have thought after texas that this team would be in the BCS. Hopefully they can prove they belong.
Sooners 24, Crimson Tide 17
Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner!
Let's remember that past Alabama National Champion teams are not this year's Alabama squad. Let's remind ourselves that past bowl game embarrassments are not the same team as this year's Oklahoma squad. It's a new day. Anything can happen.
OFFENSE
Obviously Bama is going to load up to stop the run and force the Sooners to beat them via the pass. How effective can the Sooners rushing attack be without resorting to bullshit and trying too hard to be cute? This needs to be the Brennan Clay show with some good decision making on the QB read by Blake Knight.
Also, Trevor Bell needs to be able to make easy throws without abandoning the run game entirely. Use one to set up the other. Jalen Saunders and Sterling Shepherd can get separation on anyone. If the ghost of LaColtan Bester could hang on to a ball that would help things tremendously.
For my OPOG I'm going with Jalen Saunders. He's been a beast lately both as a receiver and punt returner. He'll need to be awesome in both phases again, especially offense, to soften up that run defense.
DEFENSE
The good news is AJ McCarron is not known for his scrambling ability. The bad news is Bama has a guy named TJ Yeldon who is damn good and the Sooners can sometimes be soft up the middle. I fear the ground and pound from Bama.
Somebody in that linebacking crew is going to have to step up and wrap up before those Alabama running backs get to the third level and Gabe Lynn either dives at ankles or gives a well intended yet ineffective shoulder tap. My nightmare is giving up yards in chunks on the ground before McCarron goes to work on Zack Sanchez.
For my DPOG I'm going with Dominique Alexander but he's going to have to wrap up. I also want to go with Charles Ass Tapper, Frank Shannon, Eric "Ted" Striker, Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin et al but I can only pick one so it's Dominique.
THE SCORE
The Sooner offense needs to take shots, put the ball in the hands of their best players and do all this while sticking to a meat and potatoes type game plan. Screw razzle dazzle. Go right at them and work the clock.
The D can have success but if they're on the field all night this will be Baylor all over again. If they can stay somewhat fresh then hopefully they can stay aggressive and get after McCarron a little bit. They have to slow down that run game.
Here's to the last game of the year. It's bittersweet. I never would have thought after texas that this team would be in the BCS. Hopefully they can prove they belong.
Sooners 24, Crimson Tide 17
Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner!
Friday, December 6, 2013
Bedlam
On paper this one could be a complete fisting. OSU is riding high after the Baylor win and the Sooners, while close, still aren't completely sure what they bring to the table any given week. Here's what I'm hoping has happened. The Sooners have rested, healed and improved after their most complete win of the season. They've put together an offensive gameplan that takes advantage of what they do well. Hopefully the Cowboys have come back to earth a little bit. It's hard to imagine them putting together another game like Baylor. Maybe they are even a smidge overconfident. This is a team that lost to West Virginia and I don't give a damn who was or was not on the field for them at the time.
This game is almost the same scenario as OU-Baylor. On the road against a team that appears unstoppable. OU was in that one for a while. The D played lights out and the O flat sucked. Same thing could happen here but I don't think it will.
OFFENSE
The re-insertion of Trevor Knight has done "wonders" for the offense. Rather than second guess why he was ever pulled (he stunk) or why it took so long to put him back in (Bell had to stink worse), let's just be thankful that he's in there and the offense has the closest thing to an identity as they can hope to muster this year.
It's run baby run now and that somewhat negates the Cowboy's secondary, arguably their strength. If the run game can be effective it also keeps the Cowboys off the field and nothing need be said about the benefits of that.
I'm going DD Williams here. I kid I kid. It has to be Trevor Knight. There is legit pressure on him to do well. He has to take care of the ball and make plays. Even if the run-game is the focal point he'll probably need to find more than four receivers though. Man, wouldn't it be nice if a football team had a big target? The kind of guy who can block one play and streak across the field underneath the D or settle in a hole in the zone as a secondary receiver/safety valve the next? What would you call that position if it existed? Seems like that would help a guy like ol' Trevor.
DEFENSE
Same shit, different day here. They need some help from the offense and they have to be big on 3rd down. They can't give the Pokes first downs by penalty.
OSU will have some razzle dazzle and they'll score and score and score. If the Sooners bring their A-Game on D though they can be in this thing.
I've thought long and hard about this and I'm going with Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin. His career is winding down and he'll want to win his final bedlam. No point trying to pick cute. I know he's dinged up with a "shoulder" but he'll leave that damn thing laying lifeless and bloody on the field if need be.
THE SCORE
What? Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Seriously. We have a chance here to wreck some fucking Poke dreams. We could see icicle tears on coed faces. By god there is something to play for and it's called stomping little brothers dick in the dirt.
We play good football and both sides of the ball (longshot) we can beat these guys. We will play good football on both sides of the ball and we will beat these guys.
OU 27 OSU 17
Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner
This game is almost the same scenario as OU-Baylor. On the road against a team that appears unstoppable. OU was in that one for a while. The D played lights out and the O flat sucked. Same thing could happen here but I don't think it will.
OFFENSE
The re-insertion of Trevor Knight has done "wonders" for the offense. Rather than second guess why he was ever pulled (he stunk) or why it took so long to put him back in (Bell had to stink worse), let's just be thankful that he's in there and the offense has the closest thing to an identity as they can hope to muster this year.
It's run baby run now and that somewhat negates the Cowboy's secondary, arguably their strength. If the run game can be effective it also keeps the Cowboys off the field and nothing need be said about the benefits of that.
I'm going DD Williams here. I kid I kid. It has to be Trevor Knight. There is legit pressure on him to do well. He has to take care of the ball and make plays. Even if the run-game is the focal point he'll probably need to find more than four receivers though. Man, wouldn't it be nice if a football team had a big target? The kind of guy who can block one play and streak across the field underneath the D or settle in a hole in the zone as a secondary receiver/safety valve the next? What would you call that position if it existed? Seems like that would help a guy like ol' Trevor.
DEFENSE
Same shit, different day here. They need some help from the offense and they have to be big on 3rd down. They can't give the Pokes first downs by penalty.
OSU will have some razzle dazzle and they'll score and score and score. If the Sooners bring their A-Game on D though they can be in this thing.
I've thought long and hard about this and I'm going with Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin. His career is winding down and he'll want to win his final bedlam. No point trying to pick cute. I know he's dinged up with a "shoulder" but he'll leave that damn thing laying lifeless and bloody on the field if need be.
THE SCORE
What? Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Seriously. We have a chance here to wreck some fucking Poke dreams. We could see icicle tears on coed faces. By god there is something to play for and it's called stomping little brothers dick in the dirt.
We play good football and both sides of the ball (longshot) we can beat these guys. We will play good football on both sides of the ball and we will beat these guys.
OU 27 OSU 17
Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner
Bedlam
Good Saturday to you Sooners fans. I am writing this post from Vietnam where the wife and I have been vacationing for the past two weeks. It's a beautiful place to visit with great food if you're interested. However, I've been calling everyone I meet Charlie and am repeatedly met with blank looks. I've paid little attention to the sporting world, but I'm pretty sure I have all of the evidence I need from the season to know what is going to happen in this one. A few weeks ago our beloved Sooners went on the road against an undefeated Baylor squad. We hung tough for a quarter and a half or so and then proceeded to get shat on in nearly every phase of the game. This same Baylor team recently got punished in embarrassing fashion by the very O-State Cowboys we stand to face. I'm not a huge believer in this who-beat-who transferring from week to week, so I'm hopeful here if not doubtful. It will take our best game of the season to avoid a repeat of 2011.
Offense
Once again I'm trying to think of what to do here and am not coming up with much. I did read that Keith Ford has a chance to see the field again this week. I like the strategy of burning a year of eligibility for 20 snaps on the season. I'm doubtful he'll do enough to garner an MVP worthy performance, at least not by this blog's lofty standards. I'm going to go out on a limb here and go with Trevor Knight. I realize this basically condemns him to a terrible game but if I'm right then I think we hang around in this one. He's going to have to create more with his legs and hit a few shots down field. Otherwise, it's going to be a long day for this soft turd of an offense.
Defense
Another crapshoot here. Though I did like Dominique Alexander's play last week when Mitch and I both picked him. I think our best hope defensively is getting good pressure up front. If Chelf has all day to throw, our DB's will be putting on a live action performance of the hit Broadway musical "Smeared Britches". So I'm going with Chaz Ass Tapper today. We need him to be a force and I feel that he will come through.
Score
I'll be on a plane when this one plays out, a quick 26 hour jaunt all told. So I'll be blissfully ignorant of the outcome for a while. But let's suffice it to say that this has me awfully nervous. Like having-terrible-diarrhea-and-doing-nude-jumping-jacks-on-white-carpet nervous. As much as I hate to say it, we are the inferior team in this one. That's hard to write down. But, as is always the case this game tends to play closer than it should when one team is clearly better. I think OU hangs around, gets some big plays on special teams with Roy and Jalen, and the defense plays a complete game. With those things in mind, a couple of turnovers going our way and if you squint and tilt your head just right, you can see an OU win. It's not much to hang your hat on but it's enough and that's what the Sooners have today, enough. OU pulls out a squeaker here and wins it 31-30.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.
Offense
Once again I'm trying to think of what to do here and am not coming up with much. I did read that Keith Ford has a chance to see the field again this week. I like the strategy of burning a year of eligibility for 20 snaps on the season. I'm doubtful he'll do enough to garner an MVP worthy performance, at least not by this blog's lofty standards. I'm going to go out on a limb here and go with Trevor Knight. I realize this basically condemns him to a terrible game but if I'm right then I think we hang around in this one. He's going to have to create more with his legs and hit a few shots down field. Otherwise, it's going to be a long day for this soft turd of an offense.
Defense
Another crapshoot here. Though I did like Dominique Alexander's play last week when Mitch and I both picked him. I think our best hope defensively is getting good pressure up front. If Chelf has all day to throw, our DB's will be putting on a live action performance of the hit Broadway musical "Smeared Britches". So I'm going with Chaz Ass Tapper today. We need him to be a force and I feel that he will come through.
Score
I'll be on a plane when this one plays out, a quick 26 hour jaunt all told. So I'll be blissfully ignorant of the outcome for a while. But let's suffice it to say that this has me awfully nervous. Like having-terrible-diarrhea-and-doing-nude-jumping-jacks-on-white-carpet nervous. As much as I hate to say it, we are the inferior team in this one. That's hard to write down. But, as is always the case this game tends to play closer than it should when one team is clearly better. I think OU hangs around, gets some big plays on special teams with Roy and Jalen, and the defense plays a complete game. With those things in mind, a couple of turnovers going our way and if you squint and tilt your head just right, you can see an OU win. It's not much to hang your hat on but it's enough and that's what the Sooners have today, enough. OU pulls out a squeaker here and wins it 31-30.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Kansas State
Normally this is the time of year where my sphincter is clinched tight enough to snap a railroad tie, but with 2 marks on the loss side of the Sooners ledger, my anxiety is nearly nonexistent. Yes, I want to win badly, no I don't care if we're in the Beef O'Brady's bowl or the Meineke Car Care bowl. Regardless of a win or loss we'll be facing off sometime in the no-man's-land between Christmas and New Year's where most people could give a shit about who's playing in random bowl game x. Nonetheless, I would very much enjoy beating Kansas State on the road. Bill Snyder no doubt has a good gameplan for us. He's likely been connecting liver spots on his chest with a sharpie, diagraming plays on the creases of his paper-like antique skin. Going back to the brutal Big 12 championship loss in '03, he always seems to have a good recipe for us. Whether or not that means a win today will be seen, but with our hopes flapping on the noodle right arm of Trevor Adolphis Knight, things appear bleak. Not to mention we are upon yet another mystery suspension of two key players, which always helps.
Offense
Without Damien Williams, this narrows down our options at RB for once. Though, I'm confident if I picked an RB I'd manage to go with the wrong one. As such, I will be picking a WR today. "Fucking idiot", might be what just entered your head(s), and rightfully so. Knight has been pretty fucking terrible at passing all year. So why a WR? Because I've been nothing if not epically consistent at naming an MVP and having that player completely disappear for the week. So I'm trying to use my powers for good, not evil this week. I basically hit an upper deck home run with Sterling Shepard pick last week (DNP), so I'm riding that pony all the way again. I'm reasonably certain he's at least cleared to see the field, but am positive that I'm too lazy to fact check that at this point. So it's Sterling Shepard with fingers crossed he plays and does something meaningfully positive for the Sooners.
Defense
I'm not really sure what KState does offensively, or what they do well. But if I know The Ghosts of Montgomery Burns at all, I'd bet they run the ball early and often. So, I'm going LB today. I'm going in the way of the frosh, Dominique Alexander. He's honestly been pretty damn solid all year. The future looks bright for the chap and I think that he's going to be quite solid today against the purple nurples.
Score
I don't feel good about this game at all. These guys always play us tough, and the fact that it's on the road doesn't help anything at all. However, I'm hopeful some revenge will be on our minds. Not to mention we've had a little extra time to prepare for them. I like the Sooners today in a slugfest, 17-10. Let's get these rotten bitches.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner
Offense
Without Damien Williams, this narrows down our options at RB for once. Though, I'm confident if I picked an RB I'd manage to go with the wrong one. As such, I will be picking a WR today. "Fucking idiot", might be what just entered your head(s), and rightfully so. Knight has been pretty fucking terrible at passing all year. So why a WR? Because I've been nothing if not epically consistent at naming an MVP and having that player completely disappear for the week. So I'm trying to use my powers for good, not evil this week. I basically hit an upper deck home run with Sterling Shepard pick last week (DNP), so I'm riding that pony all the way again. I'm reasonably certain he's at least cleared to see the field, but am positive that I'm too lazy to fact check that at this point. So it's Sterling Shepard with fingers crossed he plays and does something meaningfully positive for the Sooners.
Defense
I'm not really sure what KState does offensively, or what they do well. But if I know The Ghosts of Montgomery Burns at all, I'd bet they run the ball early and often. So, I'm going LB today. I'm going in the way of the frosh, Dominique Alexander. He's honestly been pretty damn solid all year. The future looks bright for the chap and I think that he's going to be quite solid today against the purple nurples.
Score
I don't feel good about this game at all. These guys always play us tough, and the fact that it's on the road doesn't help anything at all. However, I'm hopeful some revenge will be on our minds. Not to mention we've had a little extra time to prepare for them. I like the Sooners today in a slugfest, 17-10. Let's get these rotten bitches.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner
K-State
We're 11 games into the schedule now and, as of this writing (3 hours to kick), there's no official word as to who the Oklahoma Sooners starting quarterback will be. The presumptive starter is Trevor Knight and why not? He was at the reigns as the ground game stampeded over the loins of Iowa State last week.
Regrettably, the Sooners cannot play Iowa State every week. The purple windbreaker and white mock turtleneck of the legendary Bill Snyder awaits and there's trouble ahead. The Sooners can run the ball well. Trevor Knight especially has struggled mixing the forward pass into the gameplan. The Wildcats are the best in the league at stopping the run.
I'm not sure our offense will be on the field much anyway. Anyone who's watched 2 quarters of the Sooners this year realizes their defense has a knack for keeping themselves on the field what with offsides penalties and being fairly terrible on 3rd down.
In short, I'm expecting the worst and hoping for the best.
OFFENSE
Based on what you've just read, let's just say the odds of this being Lacoltan Bester's breakout game are not good.
Obviously the Sooners need to go meat and potatoes here. Pound the ball and don't get cute for chrissakes. Just once this year I'd like to see them establish the power run game before it's too late and, God forbid, establish their identity early.
It's just unfortunate that K-State is best at stopping the run and their weakness appears to be covering the pass.
So, who to pick? For old times sake I'll go DD Williams (kiss of death). He's been coming on the last couple weeks. In other news will there be a Keith Ford sighting? Did you know that Nate and I both picked Sterling Shepherd last week and he didn't play due to concussion? We're pretty good prognosticators here.
DEFENSE
There's a lot to like here. This unit is coming on and against a team like K-State I expect some big hits and guys flying around.
Here are some bright spots from what's left of this unit after injury: Charles Ass Tapper, Geneo Grissom on occasion, All the Linebackers, Eric "Ted" Striker, Quinton Hayes, Zach Sanchez (sometimes).
From this unit today I'll go Dominique Alexander. He's been steady but he's due to have a key positive impact. I actually feel pretty good about this pick.
THE SCORE
On paper, this seems like a low scoring affair. But, I'm going to steal a page from Navin's playbook and say this will be a little higher scoring than people think.
I'll go OU 34 K-State 31
Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner
Regrettably, the Sooners cannot play Iowa State every week. The purple windbreaker and white mock turtleneck of the legendary Bill Snyder awaits and there's trouble ahead. The Sooners can run the ball well. Trevor Knight especially has struggled mixing the forward pass into the gameplan. The Wildcats are the best in the league at stopping the run.
I'm not sure our offense will be on the field much anyway. Anyone who's watched 2 quarters of the Sooners this year realizes their defense has a knack for keeping themselves on the field what with offsides penalties and being fairly terrible on 3rd down.
In short, I'm expecting the worst and hoping for the best.
OFFENSE
Based on what you've just read, let's just say the odds of this being Lacoltan Bester's breakout game are not good.
Obviously the Sooners need to go meat and potatoes here. Pound the ball and don't get cute for chrissakes. Just once this year I'd like to see them establish the power run game before it's too late and, God forbid, establish their identity early.
It's just unfortunate that K-State is best at stopping the run and their weakness appears to be covering the pass.
So, who to pick? For old times sake I'll go DD Williams (kiss of death). He's been coming on the last couple weeks. In other news will there be a Keith Ford sighting? Did you know that Nate and I both picked Sterling Shepherd last week and he didn't play due to concussion? We're pretty good prognosticators here.
DEFENSE
There's a lot to like here. This unit is coming on and against a team like K-State I expect some big hits and guys flying around.
Here are some bright spots from what's left of this unit after injury: Charles Ass Tapper, Geneo Grissom on occasion, All the Linebackers, Eric "Ted" Striker, Quinton Hayes, Zach Sanchez (sometimes).
From this unit today I'll go Dominique Alexander. He's been steady but he's due to have a key positive impact. I actually feel pretty good about this pick.
THE SCORE
On paper, this seems like a low scoring affair. But, I'm going to steal a page from Navin's playbook and say this will be a little higher scoring than people think.
I'll go OU 34 K-State 31
Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Iowa State
As many of us suspected, last week's game was a drubbing. OU was outmatched in nearly every phase. Most notably our offense failed to do much of anything at all. Later I read some ridiculousness about how Baylor was slanting on the defensive line and that was why they couldn't get anything going. The one late drive where OU marched down and scored was the only one where Baylor didn't "slant" up front. So this shit is what completely baffled us. No one at all on the coaching staff was able to see this and adjust? My suspicion is Briles et al were equally baffled that this one wrinkle was 1) so devastatingly effective and 2) no adjustments were made throughout the entire game. If this is all true, then that is really embarrassing for the OU staff. Let's not even get into the fact that we were unable to score from the 1 yard line. Our defense played quite well, that is until they were asked to stay on the field for 90% of the game. Alas, the natives appear to be restless as Heupel is nearly certainly going to be ridden out of town on a rail, and the sooner the better I say.
I, predictably, know almost nothing about Iowa State. I tried hard (not really) to come up with something creative and entertaining to open with about their team. I'm just not feeling terribly inspired with the Sooner football program of late. I hate to say it's wearing me down because I don't think that's exactly true, but it gets tough to draw inspiration from the uninspired I guess. This is in Norman today, so it should be a W for our boys in Crimson. I've learned, though, that nothing is to be taken for granted anymore, so hopefully we can play solid D and do enough on offense to win this one.
Offense
I've officially crossed over into the realm of disliking the Belldozer era, and I'm really not sure it's even his fault. He seems to know his limitations, yet he's consistently asked to do things outside of them. Sadly, that's just one of many problems with our offense (albeit a large one). All of that said, I'm saying fuck you to any sort of logic. After all, it's gotten me nowhere this year in terms of coming close to picking one of these right. I'm going with Sterling Shepard. He's the closest thing to a favorite target of Bell's. He's also damn fun to watch after the catch. I like him to do something great today. That great thing might be hooking up with two girls at the same time after the game tonight, but whatever, I'll take it.
Defense
I think the defense has been showing some promise. They're often asked to do too much insomuch as they are on the field waaaaay too long. However, they often start really well. I'm hopeful that Mike has the guys pointed in the right direction and our D is slowly returning to it's past dominance. Yes, I'm aware how fucking stupid I sound on the heels of giving up 42 or whatever to Baylor. I still think there is a lot of promise on that side of the ball, and we seem to not be doing as much of the dumb shit we had been in recent years. Today I like Eric "Ted" Striker (well played Mitch, it's official now). I think Ted is in the backfield a lot, as he is wont to do. He's a great blitzer and the OT's we see generally can't match his speed on the edge. I like some big stops from him today. Side note: I'm tired of Gabe Lynn acting like he's Ronnie Fucking Lott back there. Dear Gabe, you still fucking suck. You miss far too many tackles and you still get burned deep. Yes, you're embarrassing skills are better hidden at Safety than they were at Corner, but make no mistake, you are shit. You are Gas Rag for a reason. Please graduate or expire your eligibility soon. Thanks, --the guys at Steamroller.
Score
I don't know much about Iowa State, but I know we've embarrassed them enough in past seasons that they are "up" for this chance to beat a down Sooner club. So we'll get their best shot. I'm glad this is at home. I think we'll be able to handle them for the most part. I like the Sooners today, I really do. OU 27 Iowa State 17.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.
I, predictably, know almost nothing about Iowa State. I tried hard (not really) to come up with something creative and entertaining to open with about their team. I'm just not feeling terribly inspired with the Sooner football program of late. I hate to say it's wearing me down because I don't think that's exactly true, but it gets tough to draw inspiration from the uninspired I guess. This is in Norman today, so it should be a W for our boys in Crimson. I've learned, though, that nothing is to be taken for granted anymore, so hopefully we can play solid D and do enough on offense to win this one.
Offense
I've officially crossed over into the realm of disliking the Belldozer era, and I'm really not sure it's even his fault. He seems to know his limitations, yet he's consistently asked to do things outside of them. Sadly, that's just one of many problems with our offense (albeit a large one). All of that said, I'm saying fuck you to any sort of logic. After all, it's gotten me nowhere this year in terms of coming close to picking one of these right. I'm going with Sterling Shepard. He's the closest thing to a favorite target of Bell's. He's also damn fun to watch after the catch. I like him to do something great today. That great thing might be hooking up with two girls at the same time after the game tonight, but whatever, I'll take it.
Defense
I think the defense has been showing some promise. They're often asked to do too much insomuch as they are on the field waaaaay too long. However, they often start really well. I'm hopeful that Mike has the guys pointed in the right direction and our D is slowly returning to it's past dominance. Yes, I'm aware how fucking stupid I sound on the heels of giving up 42 or whatever to Baylor. I still think there is a lot of promise on that side of the ball, and we seem to not be doing as much of the dumb shit we had been in recent years. Today I like Eric "Ted" Striker (well played Mitch, it's official now). I think Ted is in the backfield a lot, as he is wont to do. He's a great blitzer and the OT's we see generally can't match his speed on the edge. I like some big stops from him today. Side note: I'm tired of Gabe Lynn acting like he's Ronnie Fucking Lott back there. Dear Gabe, you still fucking suck. You miss far too many tackles and you still get burned deep. Yes, you're embarrassing skills are better hidden at Safety than they were at Corner, but make no mistake, you are shit. You are Gas Rag for a reason. Please graduate or expire your eligibility soon. Thanks, --the guys at Steamroller.
Score
I don't know much about Iowa State, but I know we've embarrassed them enough in past seasons that they are "up" for this chance to beat a down Sooner club. So we'll get their best shot. I'm glad this is at home. I think we'll be able to handle them for the most part. I like the Sooners today, I really do. OU 27 Iowa State 17.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.
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