OU - Iowa in the Insight.com Bowl

Tonight in Tempe the Sooners cap off a season of disappointment and unrealized expectations. The Sooner coaching staff had us sitting at their feet and eating out of their hands with talk of this years squad being the favorite for the National Title. Oh how we lapped it up. Oh what a bummer.

So now here we are. The Sooners (4th place in the Big 12) versus Iowa (4th place in the Legends Division of the Big 10).

What a matchup! What stakes!

Let's review the storylines:

For Iowa, they lost their best Running Back. I don't know his name and I don't know his replacements name. But I do know that this replacement ran for something like 40 yards this year. Sounds like someone is due for a breakout performance and I know just the defense to help make it happen.

Speaking of, did you know Sooner defensive "lynchpin" and team captain Travis Lewis hasn't spoken to the media since Halloween and, rumor has it, all his teammates have pretty much ceased speaking to him as well? Camaraderie. The Sooners don't gots it.

There's also been a rash of transfers for the Sooners. "Cleaning House" according to Bob Stoops. I'm fine with it. If a guy doesn't want to play in Norman, fare thee well.

Whilst on the subject of roster thinning, how about not having Ronnell Lewis? Or Jaz Reynolds?

So there's two ways this thing can go. One, the Sooners buck up. They tuck in their bottom lip and change a shitty attitude that's been pervasive all year. Or, they put a nice tidy bow on a heaping turd of a crap cake.

Who's excited to see what happens?

OFFENSE

So, Landry hasn't thrown a touchdown pass since Ryan Broyles went down? And Jaz "Hands" Reynolds is injured? And Kenny Fuckin Shitbag Stills has inexplicably failed to step up? And, through injury and transfer, the Sooner backfield consists of Roy Finch, Brennan Clay and Trey Millard?

Well then everything should be humming like a sewing machine.

I'm going with Millard. He's been under-utilized to Stoops's chagrin. It's time to unleash the beast.

DEFENSE

Well I'm already scared that an anemic Iowa offense is going to come unhinged. The Sooner D gave Robert Griffin 3 a shove to the Heisman podium. Maybe the can get a Hawkeye on the long list going into next year?

I don't know what to do here. I'm going to say Jamelle Fleming for sentimental reasons. He's a Senior. He's played as well as anyone all year. He'll be eager to leave on a high note.

THE SCORE

I haven't felt less sure about a game all year. I don't know if the Sooners care. My crimson colored glasses tell me they will and they will shut down an Iowa offense that is not dynamic.

I hope, I hope, I hope.

I hope if I'm wrong that I remember it's a meaningless exhibition to close out a season that, by Stoops-era standards, was a major disappointment but by John Blake standards is still an overwhelming success.

Sooners 24, Hawkeyes, 13

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner. Happy New Year.

And a special shoutout to Kate Bendick, now engaged to Cousin Brad. Mazel-tov!