ULM

For the first time since being totally destroyed on the biggest stage (again) last January, the Sooners take the field with a clean slate this evening. As I mentioned in my post on Wednesday, I have an odd mix of resignation and optimism on the season. But as I wiped my eyes this morning and rolled out of bed, optimism sprung up. While I'm not sure what to expect during the course of the season, today I'm expecting an ass beat be put on the poor saps from ULM.

Yes, the pundits say that ULM is not to be taken lightly. They started their season by beating a respectable Arkansas team on the road and played (a shitty) Auburn close last year. They also had tough losses to such powerhouses as Arkansas State and Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns. With that in mind I'll chalk the Arkansas upset to being overlooked and the others to not being a great team. Listen, they are who we think they are and if you want to crown their asses then go ahead and crown them. Denny Green aside, they're a decent mid-major capable of beating us. However, I don't think it's likely.

The biggest story of our day, and what has me brimming with curiosity and excitement is the debut of Trevor Knight, aka not lonnie jones. I'm pumped to see what this supposed wunderkind can do. I'm also pumped that for the first time in 3+ seasons I'm not going into a game absolutely certain that I'm going to hate at least 10 things our QB does.

Defensively, well, who the hell knows what can happen? In my exhaustive (read: less than 7 minutes of...) research, it seems that ULM did put up quite a few points most weeks in 2012. So it appears that they know (knew?) how to score. This fact gives me more pause than anything else, given that last season we welcomed opponents into the endzone like so many penises into a chubby drunk sorority girl longing for acceptance. I didn't do any defensive newcomer selections, mostly because I didn't think of it (hat tip: Mitch), but the guys I'm excited to see, and think may have big years, are Frank Shannon and Charles Tapper (in addition to, of course, Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin). Let's hope we set the tone early this year by shutting someone down.

Offense

I feel like there are a lot of options here given the amount of talent we have returning to the skill positions. However, given Heupel's play-calling resume, it's a goddamned crapshoot figuring out who will get the ball (read: not Millard, Trey and Finch, Roy). However, there is at least one player guaranteed to get touches. Maybe it's the 3rd cup of coffee ("Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home..."), but I'm doing something I haven't done in those aforementioned 3+ seasons, I'm picking our QB, Trevor Knight, as my offensive player of the game. I think (hope?) that the young buck rambles, scrambles and throws all over the field today and lends me one of those corn-dogs Mitch observed in Mike Stoops' shorts (front, not back). I'm thinking 250+ passing yards, 50+ rushing yards, 3 TD's and 1 int (he'll have hiccups).

Defense

Here I really only have one option at this stage of the season given the number of question marks on D. So no bullshitting around, my pick is Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin. I don't foresee any int's due to the fact that they'll likely avoid going his direction much in the passing game. That said I think he makes multiple big tackles and forces a fumble in the run game (he can hit).

Score

My hunch is they can score. I'm hopeful we can too. Provided we don't run shotgun draws every play and turn into The Chuck Long Project (the offense, not the progressive rock trio I can only assume exists somewhere) again, I think we'll put up some points ourselves. It might not be flawlessly pretty but I think we win convincingly today 41-24. No I don't like that it's that close but they get a garbage TD in there at the end.

Let's roll heads, it's Sooner football season again.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner!