Baylor

I come to you today, writing from my phone as the piece of shit Blogger wouldn't let me put up a post from the PC at my work for some reason. I'm happy about this. As a result, this may be shorter than normal (probably a good thing). 

There was a time when seeing Baylor come up on the schedule was a welcomed respite from the grind of a brutal Big 12 schedule. Oh how times have changed. What was once seen as a brief "lottery win" with the RG3 era, has turned into a legit program under the guidance of Art Briles. The rumors of him going to Texas have Sooner nation collectively scraping melted kit-kats from the inner linings of their jockey's. As it stands, he's made the Bears into legit contenders. I have strong doubts about tonight's contest. 

Mitch was (appropriately) worried that we'd be drubbed by Tech last week. Fortunately the Sooners were able to do enough to win that game. While solid, Tech is not going to be mistaken for Baylor, and we aren't in Norman. Make no mistake, this is the biggest game they've hosted in my lifetime, maybe ever. Big enough that they are taking the tarp off of the perpetually covered endzone seats to accommodate the ticket demand. This is bad. They are better than we are in nearly every facet, and I'm particularly worried that our decimated defense is going to be annihilated by their O. This is really bad. 

Offense

I'm feeling like our best chance in this one is to go with what we do best, run the football. Obviously because we are mush better at this than passing, it will (hopefully) keep their offense--and our defense off of the field, and if Baylor has a weak point it's stopping the run. Which sets it up perfectly for Heupel to get really fucking cute (see: OU v texas, 2013) and try to win a shoot out. That said, I'm hoping that common sense prevails and we hand it off early and often. It's our only chance really. I'm going with a hopeful pick. In light of his recent strong play vs Tech, I like Roy Damn Finch to be a spark that ignites our offense. 

Defense

I'm scared here, I don't really know how we're going to stop them. They do everything well on this side of the ball. We don't do much well. I know they pass and spread the field and score at breakneck speed. My vision though is that Seastrunk goes for about 200 and 5 scores. I hope I'm very wrong. I'm going to go with our best guy here. Big games call on your stars to step up and I think Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin does just that. I think he takes away half of the field, and makes some big tackles coming up in run support. 

Score

I'm nervous this could be 70-17 in favor of them. We've shat ourselves on the big stage for, oh, the last decade or so. None of this bodes well. I'm keeping the faith however (no reason to stop now), and taking the Sooners tonight. We play a grind it out game, get some lucky bounces and a win the turnover battle, Sooners "Miracle" this one with some old Sooner Magic: 31-30. 

Lets roll these punk bitches. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner. 

Kansas

Faithful reader(s), I put fingers to keyboard this morn with a bleak outlook on the Sooners. The loss last week, and the manner in which it happened (see: shit, bed), really put me in a bad place. College football is wonderful, I love so many things about it. One of those things is the quest for perfection and the near certainty that anything less dooms those reaching for the crystal football to bring hand to brow and turn their eyes to next year. I've exhausted my vocabulary of words relating to my thoughts on the state of Sooner football. I wish that we were contenders again. The salad days, as it were, appear distantly in the rearview mirror. Our place in the ranks of title contender has faded to nothing more than also-rans. Yet, I still watch and still hope, and still have a damn good time watching the crimson and cream (and gold. sometimes. one time. maybe never again. hopefully). 

That uplifting intro was born out of honest sentiment, but also partly out of a lack of anything interesting or entertaining that I could come up with regarding jayhawk football. The only satisfying thing I get out of beating them, and we will beat them (foreshadowing), is knowing that the literally dozens on hand in Lawrence are the same "die-hard" super fans that manage to pack out their gym night-in night-out for the basketball team. After all, nothing solidifies true fandom better than testing that fandom by cheering a team that wins invariably. 

I'm bitter. 

Offense

My pick last week was predictably poo. One positive from that game, and there weren't many, was that for the first time in his career, Trey Millard approached something resembling being a feature of the offense. I liked that a lot. In my mind he has the best chance of being something solid at "the next level". With all of that in mind. I'm going with Millard today. Yeah, I'm probably giving him the kiss of death, but I don't give a fuck. He rumbles in for another score this week. 

Defense

I'm not sure what the hell happened last Saturday but its possible we missed Corey Nelson more than we could have ever imagined. It's also possible that, with the exception of Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin, we don't have much in the secondary. While Gabe Lynn seems better suited at safety (or at least better hidden as a shit player), Zac(k?)Sanchez is stepping on necks to get the gas-rag moniker. I'm going with someone in the middle of the D, Frank Shannon. I think Frank has a very solid day, racking up a shitload of tackles again and being involved with a turnover somehow. 

Score

I like the Sooners a lot today. KU is turds. I'm pretty sure we pummel their ass from pistol to pistol. Sooners 37-10. Now, lets forget last week and go out win this one big. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

ULM

For the first time since being totally destroyed on the biggest stage (again) last January, the Sooners take the field with a clean slate this evening. As I mentioned in my post on Wednesday, I have an odd mix of resignation and optimism on the season. But as I wiped my eyes this morning and rolled out of bed, optimism sprung up. While I'm not sure what to expect during the course of the season, today I'm expecting an ass beat be put on the poor saps from ULM.

Yes, the pundits say that ULM is not to be taken lightly. They started their season by beating a respectable Arkansas team on the road and played (a shitty) Auburn close last year. They also had tough losses to such powerhouses as Arkansas State and Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns. With that in mind I'll chalk the Arkansas upset to being overlooked and the others to not being a great team. Listen, they are who we think they are and if you want to crown their asses then go ahead and crown them. Denny Green aside, they're a decent mid-major capable of beating us. However, I don't think it's likely.

The biggest story of our day, and what has me brimming with curiosity and excitement is the debut of Trevor Knight, aka not lonnie jones. I'm pumped to see what this supposed wunderkind can do. I'm also pumped that for the first time in 3+ seasons I'm not going into a game absolutely certain that I'm going to hate at least 10 things our QB does.

Defensively, well, who the hell knows what can happen? In my exhaustive (read: less than 7 minutes of...) research, it seems that ULM did put up quite a few points most weeks in 2012. So it appears that they know (knew?) how to score. This fact gives me more pause than anything else, given that last season we welcomed opponents into the endzone like so many penises into a chubby drunk sorority girl longing for acceptance. I didn't do any defensive newcomer selections, mostly because I didn't think of it (hat tip: Mitch), but the guys I'm excited to see, and think may have big years, are Frank Shannon and Charles Tapper (in addition to, of course, Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin). Let's hope we set the tone early this year by shutting someone down.

Offense

I feel like there are a lot of options here given the amount of talent we have returning to the skill positions. However, given Heupel's play-calling resume, it's a goddamned crapshoot figuring out who will get the ball (read: not Millard, Trey and Finch, Roy). However, there is at least one player guaranteed to get touches. Maybe it's the 3rd cup of coffee ("Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home..."), but I'm doing something I haven't done in those aforementioned 3+ seasons, I'm picking our QB, Trevor Knight, as my offensive player of the game. I think (hope?) that the young buck rambles, scrambles and throws all over the field today and lends me one of those corn-dogs Mitch observed in Mike Stoops' shorts (front, not back). I'm thinking 250+ passing yards, 50+ rushing yards, 3 TD's and 1 int (he'll have hiccups).

Defense

Here I really only have one option at this stage of the season given the number of question marks on D. So no bullshitting around, my pick is Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin. I don't foresee any int's due to the fact that they'll likely avoid going his direction much in the passing game. That said I think he makes multiple big tackles and forces a fumble in the run game (he can hit).

Score

My hunch is they can score. I'm hopeful we can too. Provided we don't run shotgun draws every play and turn into The Chuck Long Project (the offense, not the progressive rock trio I can only assume exists somewhere) again, I think we'll put up some points ourselves. It might not be flawlessly pretty but I think we win convincingly today 41-24. No I don't like that it's that close but they get a garbage TD in there at the end.

Let's roll heads, it's Sooner football season again.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner!

OU vs. ULM

It's football time in Oklahoma.

Don't be fooled by the bona fides of ULM. They beat Arkansas last year when the Hogs were ranked 8th in the country and they should have been ranked 88th. They beat Auburn and they were awful too. But the Sooners need to respect them. They have a solid QB by all accounts.

I'm eager to take the pulse of Sooner Nation and see how quickly people can put on their big boy pants and get on board the 2013 campaign.

OFFENSE

I think Josher will look to get Trevor Knight in a rhythm early. Knight will probably find a TBD safety blanket pretty fast and once that opens up the running game, it's over. I'm taking Jalen Saunders today for my OPOG. I think some wide receiver will catch about 10 balls. Might as well be him.

I also think the DD Williams train gets rolling. With everything else going on he's been under the radar this offseason. He can serve notice that he'll be a major factor on that side of the ball this year.

Also keep an eye on Roy Finch. He's back in good graces apparently. He's a senior too so it's all or nothing for him this year. Other things I'm excited for would be the return of Jaz "Hands" Reynolds, LaColton Bester and the line.

DEFENSE

Hooboy. The D doesn't have to be great today. I don't think they even need to show the promise of greatness. They just need to be solid. They need to do some things they can build on. Let's take baby steps here.

I'll take greatness though.

I'm picking Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin. There's no other choice really in the first game. I ride with the horse that brought me here. Half a dozen tackles, a couple break ups and a minimum number of balls even thrown his way will make his day a success.

I'll be happy if I can leave the stadium today with a feeling of excitement rather than dread about the future of defense.


THE SCORE

Ultimately, this provides a fine first test. The defense needs to get their sea legs under them fast. Trevor Knight needs some practice under the lights and 90,000 people. It won't be perfect but it will be fun and I'm pumped for another season.

OU 34 ULM 14

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

The 2013 Steamers

The Sooner Steamroller preseason awards (dba The Steamers) guarantee success or failure just as much as the AP Pre-Season awards. Congratulations to all the "winners".

Without further ado:

The 2013 Sooner Steamroller MF'er

Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin

Goes to Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin. He was, by a mile, the only defensive player last year who played well on a consistent basis. He'll be on an island this year and, by all accounts, he's in full lock down mode. I'm excited about what this ball player brings to the table. He's a senior, he's a captain, he's the 2013 MF'er.

For the uninitiated, the MF'er is the most prestigious award handed out by Steamroller staff. It goes to the defensive player who most exemplifies everything you want in a Sooner. The MF'er brings his hard hat and lunch pail every game and can otherwise best be described as a "Baby Eater" on the football field. He makes plays that make you turn and ask the people around you, "Did you see that play? Aaron Motherfuckin Colvin, man!"

T-Shirts Here

Old Steady

Old Steady is the player (up to this point a running back) who brings the same effort every play. You know exactly what you're getting with Old Steady, a decent yards per carry, no fumbling, no dicking around in the backfield. This year the award goes to Brennan Clay.

Clay was much balleyhooed when he arrived on campus but he began his career as the homeless man's version of the original Old Steady, Chris Brown. Sure, he could get you two or three yards a touch but is that a feature back? Last year, however, he turned it on in a great way. This year, with a better (when healthy) O-Line and no plodding oaf QB to get in his way I see big things happening here.

I'd also like to "give propers" to Trey Millard as well. He's definitely good enough to earn Old Steady honors but, after discussing with Navin, we just don't trust Josh Heupel to feed him the ball enough for him to qualify. It's ridiculous that a lack of touches is a possibility. For Thunder fans it's the opposite of the Kendrick Perkins effect. Stubbornness keeps Perkins on the court and he is a black hole on offense. Millard is always on the field, lined up everywhere and is stubbornly denied the ball.

Gas Rag McGee

Gas Rag McGee
Photo by Chris Landsberger - The Oklahoman

To the player on defense who looks more lost than my mom in a Tokyo subway station. If opposing Offensive Coordinators have two brain cells to rub together Gas Rag McGee is the guy they will scheme endlessly to get man coverage against. Last year it was Tom Wort. Bless his heart he had the "motor" but he just couldn't hang physically.

This year Gabe Lynn puts the trophy back on his mantle. He's been lost in the secondary since he stepped on campus. Until someone steals the title from him, he's the guy. With plenty of newcomers this could be quite the little horse race this season.

Offensive Newcomer

Has to be Trevor Knight. It's not every year the Sooners usher in a new quarterback. Right or wrong the question is will he be the next great one. This implies trips to New York for Heisman ceremonies. That's a perfectly reasonable expectation isn't it? No pressure or nothin'.

Keith Ford could also be a choice here but there's no way he has the impact, good or bad, that Knight will.

Defensive Newcomer

Smart money is on someone like Quincy Russell, DJ Ward or Charles Tapper. The line was hideous last season and if any of these guys can bolster that unit, particularly Russell, then that would be huge. I'm going Quincy Russell here.

If you're feeling a little more daring I would say Hatari Byrd because Mike Stoops is so excited about him he reportedly stalks the practice field with what looks like a corn dog in his coaches shorts.

Coach or Player I Will Blame for Anything Bad Now That Landry is Gone

Josh Heupel. To say I'm underwhelmed by him is too kind. We haven't made a defense look clueless in three years. The only hurry up we do is a quick handoff. The Belldozer package was born of desperation and is successful because Blake Bell is bigger than a Honda Accord.

In my opinion Josher has more pressure on him to show something than Trevor Knight.

Home Game I Can't Believe I'm Missing

West Virginny. Life is full of tough choices. I've chosen a day of music over football on September 7th. Yep, One Direction is coming to town.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

2013 (half-assed) Preview

Here we are faithful reader(s), back again for another fall of The Steamroller. It's been a somewhat uneventful off-season. There were a few position coaching changes but the base staff remains intact and Mike Stoops emerges from under the blanket of not being acclimated to the new style of play in the Big 12. In other words he really doesn't have many excuses left. 

On that note the defense looks pretty thin. Up front we return very little and those that are back aren't raising tents in the pants of sooner nation. The secondary could be decent. Aaron Colvin looks tough but little else is proven and in some cases (I'm looking at you Gabe "Gas Rag" Lynn) all that's been proven is that he couldn't cover a baby's eyes with both hands. That said there are some young bucks who will vie for meaningful PT so it might not be as bad as we think. The LBs are all promise and no production up to now but we can hope Corey Nelson et al can figure it out. Things look bleaker than they have in years but the unknown also brings promise with dread. 

Offensively, things look much better with proven experience at almost every position save one. That of course is QB where a redshirt frosh won the job over the only guy who does have experience there. I'll take that as a positive sign. He's well positioned to succeed with the loaded backfield and WR corps, not to mention a pretty well seasoned OL. As for our QB, I'm clinched up like everyone else hoping for Bradford not Bomar. 

It's kind of a strange year. It's the lowest my expectations have been in years, but while the untested nature of the squad isn't ideal, I'm almost excited about not knowing. The wildcard here is Knight, and while he's been (allegedly) a world-beater in practice, that's a long way from Saturday mornings.  I'm hopeful, I like that expectations are down. Lets hope that the lack of pre-season consideration for anything meaningful pertaining to the end of the year gets Bobby back to his old ways and has this team playing like the Sooner clubs of old. 

I'm predicting a Big 12 championship, which may speak more to the conference than to our squad. 

This year's MF is none other than Aaron Motherfuckin' Colvin. 

We haven't discussed this year's Old Steady but I'm leaning to Brennan Clay. Mitch?

I'm pumped to have another fall of football at hand. We'll be back soon to talk ULM. 

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

OU vs. Johnny Football dba Texas A&M

Even though the Sooners were hosed by the BCS, the AT&T Cotton Bowl does present a more attractive matchup than all the other BCS games save the Championship. Our beloved Sooners take on Heisman Trophy™ winner  Johnny "Football" Manziel and the Aggies  down at Jerry World where, according to sources, people are paying $200 for standing room only seats. These folks, with something between "Too Much" and "Not Enough" discretionary income, are eager to see if the Sooners can avoid going 0-3 against Heisman Trophy™ finalists this season.

Elsewhere, in storylines, you have former Sooner Co-Offensive Coordinator Kevin Sumlin going up against Josh Heupel (advantage Sumlin), Landry's last stand, and the Sooner Defense with one last chance to prove it can stop anything in the middle of the football field.

OFFENSE

The 2012 Sooner offense has never really looked like the juggernaut of years past that keeps defenses on their heels with a relentless attack. But it has been able to go toe-to-toe with some of the top offenses in the country. They've struggled against the best defenses but the Aggies are not elite. In fact, I think they're ripe for exploitation.

Of course it starts with Landry. Our relationship might be love-hate but it's never boring. I will toast his obligatory INT. I will seek pleasure in knowing there's three passing TD's following it, that this game means nothing and it's the last I'll ever see of him in a Sooners uniform.

He has everything he needs to go out on a high note. The rest of the offense is all systems go thanks to Jalen Saunders not getting left in Norman after getting busted with marijuana (a deadly gateway drug kids dabble in).

I think the offense will have a field day and I really hope Trey Millard gets a lot of chances. I like him for my Offensive POG. I would like nothing more than for him to show how badass he is to a national audience. As much as I would hate to see him leave, he should take NFL money.

One last note on Landry. I hope that in the NFL he gets to study under a Master thereby improving his chances of success. Say, somebody like the Denver Broncos. That would be an awesome fit. I'm certain Navin feels the same way.

DEFENSE

The last time the Sooner D took the field they looked like they had buttoned some things up. But, they weren't playing a dynamic QB or offense like they'll face Friday night. The Sooners have been abused for a lot of the season. Most of it is their own doing in the form of missed tackles and poor D-Line play more than being lost or out game planned. Can they get it straightened out against a truly top-flight offense?

Don't you think the Sooners have to have one person shadowing Johnny Manziel on every play? Who is that going to be? Not Tommy Wort. Could be Corey Nelson, Frank Shannon, Javon Harris, Gabe Lynn, Julian Wilson or Tony Motherfuckin Jefferson. Maybe they take turns. Hell, I don't know what the answer is here. But Johnny Football is the way, the truth and the light of this offense so the Sooners must break him (in Ivan Drago voice). It would stand to reason that the DPOG should come from this group. But, alas, no.

It seems like in bowl games the best player on defense that year is the defensive POG. This year it's hard to argue for a clear cut best player so I'll go with my favorite, Aaron Colvin. My runner-up choices (for DPOG, not player of the year) would be Javon Harris for the second straight game or Frank Shannon. Neither would surprise me with a good game, particularly Shannon. But Colvin is the choice here.

SCORE

Obviously, this one has shootout written all over it. The advantage for the Sooners is that they call a matchup against this type of offense, "Next".  A&M hasn't faced a Sooner level offense outside of Lousiana Tech (whom they could not stop). I'm also not mentally prepared to put A&M into the elite class of the SEC. If they aren't elite then they're average, contrary to what any SEC fellating scribe  (read: all scribes) might like you to believe. The SEC is overrated this year. Book it.

I like the Sooners here 42-38.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner! Tip them PBR's and enjoy it.

West Virginia

Well friends, this game isn't exactly what it looked to be before the games were played. I don't think I'm alone in saying that I thought this might be a game with two top 5 teams playing with a trip to the national title at stake. Instead, WVU after a hot start has plummeted out of the rankings thanks to a defense that appears to be looking for flags to pull off of opponents waist bands. Our guys on the other hand are a solid team, but not exactly the national title contender we thought they might be before the season (see: OU v Kansas State/Notre Dame et al). Nevertheless this is a big game in the conference, and our first trip to Morgantown as a conference opponent. I'm pretty excited to see it as they have a good atmosphere, and it will no doubt be crazy there tonight. The combo of night game + big conference opponent + the fact that WVU is one of the few universities that sells beer at their games = apeshit crowd. This will be a factor.

In spite of all of that WVU has been the cure for what ails any offense so far. The Big 12 offensive player of the week has come at the expense of the WVU defense for a few weeks in a row now. Let's hope that trend continues today in a Sooner offensive explosion.

Offense

As I said, this looks as if someone will be putting up big numbers today. It's probably a good sign that this is hard to pick. I'm going with a WR today and I'm going with Justin Brown. He's really turned into a damn good target and one that Lonnie looks to often. I think he gets behind the defense a couple of times today and gets in the endzone at least once. I like him for 100+ yards and a TD.

Defense

This is once again a crap shoot. As poor as the WVU defense is, their offense is solid. Dana Holgerson coached offenses have torched us pretty regularly in years past. Hopefully Mikey will do a better job getting us ready than Venables ever did. They pass a ton, so I'm looking to the secondary to do something special tonight. That said, I'm going with the same guy two weeks in a row, Aaron Colvin. I think they'll come after him a little and I think he'll respond.

Score

This looks like it's going to be a shootout of sorts. I hope that we'll be able to score regularly and more importantly I hope that we'll be able to get some stops and at least slow them down enough that we can get out of their with a win. Though national and conference titles are no longer on the table for us, this one still means plenty in our continuing to cling to the outside hope of getting a BCS bid. I like the Sooners today 54-38. Let's get these bitches.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Baylor

Good morning fine ladies and gentleman. My post today comes to you from the sunny locale of Sedona, AZ. A far cry from my decimated home city of New York. Sadly, I'll be returning there tomorrow but for now it's sunshine and lollipops for Natey. The Sooners face a solid Baylor team this Saturday afternoon. Seems odd that a few short years ago this game had a W placed next to it sometime in April, or as soon as it was scheduled. Now however, it's not Alabama but it's no gimme either.

No one is forgetting last year's barn burner where the boys in Crimson neglectfully left their defense on the bus. This Baylor team is notably lacking one RG3, but let's hope that we line up 11 conscious players on the defensive side of the ball this time (looking at you Javon G.R. Harris)*. Baylor does score points pretty well, however the one thing they are better at than scoring points is allowing them.  Besides, in spite of two losses, it feels like our defense has been better than it was last season. At the very least, it doesn't get torched with regularity anymore.

*This G.R. is noting his moniker as Gas Rag which is bestowed for his propensity to be burned easily and with regularity. This is a unilateral move by me, but I'm sure Mitch won't put up too much of a fight. While Harris does make some nice plays on occasion, he makes some real dumbshit moves as well. I'll take consistently solid over feast/famine any day of the week. Read: I really dislike Javon Harris.

I like our chances today, the team looked good against a pesky ISU team last week and avoided a let down after the emotional Notre Dame loss. It seems as though we've got a pretty decent shot at beating the Baylor Bears. Provided we can make them earn their points with long, multi-play drives and we can keep their offense off of the field with a solid ground game I think we'll win.

Offense

Mitch continued his startlingly good, season-long impersonation of Nostradamus last week with a Brennan Clay bullseye. While I'll concede that Clay was the player of the game on offense last week, I didn't do too shabby with a (less impressive) Justin Brown pick as he went for 7 and 107 with 1 TD. Let's hope we both pick different players today, and that both players proceed to dominate as they did last week. You see, readers, having two really good players on offense statistically, is better than having only one (stay with me). Today I'm going with Jalen Saunders, if for no other reason than the guy is damn fun to watch out there. I like him for several great runs after the catch, and at least one TD.

Defense

This side of the ball has proven to be a bit of a crapshoot as not only has it been hard to pick a player of the game before the game, but it's not been easy to pick one after either. Today, I'm going with Aaron Colvin. He's really developed into a damn fine DB and one that seems to be as adept in the run game as he is in providing coverage. I'd love to predict that he forces a turnover today... so I will. Either a pick or a forced fumble, but I won't decide between the two (listen, I'm no Keith "Ms. Cleo" Mitchell over here).

Score

As I said before, the Baylor fellows can score some points. As I also said before, they can give up some points too. I like the Sooners today in a bit of a shootout. We control the ground game enough on offense and the passing game enough on defense to win. Sooners 38-24.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

OU vs. Texas Tech

I'm skeered. I am Chicken Little to my rotten core this week. The Sooners are pretty much terrible in Lubbock. The Red Raiders went to work in Norman last year. Obviously the Sooners got exposed last week. So on and so forth.

(Mumbling to myself: I will believe that nothing carries over week to week. Years past do not matter. Revenge has nothing to do with anything and Saturday is a new day.)

There truly is very little on paper to lead a Sooner fan to believe that victory is in sight. The Red Raiders are one of a handful of teams in the country who rank in the top 10 both offensively and defensively. Tech has had success through the air and on the ground as well. I predict the Sooners call a defensive timeout during the first series.

The Sooners, on the other hand, were their own worst nightmare against K-State. One can only hope they value the football on the road. With any luck Landry's obilgatory INT will come early, be on a deep toss on 3rd down (essentially making it a punt) and Tech goes three and out.

OFFENSE

This offense isn't exactly anemic. Take away the turnovers and there were some positives against K-State. Sterling Shepard "arrived" for instance. So let's put all that crap behind us and choose an Offensive POG from one of the following athletes. Dom Whaley (solid but underwhelming so far - due for a breakout?), DD Williams (possible home run with any touch), Kenny Fuckin Shitbag (Gets his hands on a lot of balls), Justin Brown (Just been delightfully good) and Sterling Shepard (See: "Arrived").

I'll mention Roy Finch for fun just once, the same number of times Toby Rowland probably will. He averages 10 yards per carry if you're keeping score at home.

I'm going with Justin Brown. I've just been real impressed by this youth thus far and I think he's ready to go beyond solid to making some game changing plays.

DEFENSE

According to my crack statistician, Gene Morgan, the Sooners have force one turnover so far. Not exactly the ball hawks we all looked forward to. This unexpected turn also makes selecting a Defensive POG something akin to throwing darts.

In that vein I can only choose by process of elimination. I probably can't pick an interior lineman. Tom Wort made me look like an asshole when I picked him for K-State. Nobody has exactly looked like a man amongst boys.

I guess I'll say Aaron Colvin just for grins. I mean, what the hell?

THE SCORE

In spite of my fear and doom and gloom I do realize that someone needs to knock the smirk of Tommy Tuberville's face. He's so smug. I think he feels like he's playing chess vs. checkers having come from the SEC. Screw him.

If anyone should do it it should be our Sooners, damnit. And they will do it. The defense plays just well enough and the offense exposes a defense that's played nobody.

Sooners 31, Texas Tech 27

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

Oklahoma Sooners 2012 Defensive Preview

For the better part of a decade the eyes of Sooner Nation have been focused on the offensive side of the football. Year after year the tempo rose, the weapons amassed and scoring was off the charts. It was always assumed the defense would be competent enough and close enough to the championship levels of 2000 to keep opponents under 30 points. The thinking went, and rightly so, that the Sooner offense could score 30 in its sleep.

For the first time in years the hopes of a Sooner championship rest squarely on the defense. For the first time in a long while, the defense offers the best reasons for hope and optimism heading into the season. And for the first time in nearly a decade, Mike Stoops is stalking the Sooner sidelines.

To reiterate: Mike Stoops is back coaching the defense.

Stoops wasted little time making changes. Things are going to be simpler. Tony MF Jefferson is moving to Free Safety where he can patrol the secondary. It's always a good idea to have your best player be in a position to wreak havoc.

The loss of last year's most consistent defender, Jameer Nelson, stings but the Corner combo of Demontre Hurst and Aaron Colvin will still be the league's best. Colvin is poised for a breakout year. Demontre also speaks highly of Sophomore "Mayor" Julian Wilson. Stay tuned there.

Javon Harris and Gabe Lynn spent much of 2011 locked in a duel to claim the memorial Matt "Gas Rag" McCoy trophy. Lynn's contributions in the Texas Tech game were especially unwelcome.

Up front there has been some upheaval. Stacy McGee (Senior, 14 starts) has been suspended. David King will now spend more time inside rushing from the 3 Technique (football term). King was underrated in 2011 and could wind up anchoring the D-Line. RJ Washington has never lived up to the hype and he seems a bit pissed about it. Hopefully this translates to improved play on the field.

To quote the Longshoremen from Major League, "Who are these fuckin guys" sums up the rest of the D-Line. Mitch Tate, Charles Tapper and Chaz Nelson sound more like an Ivy League Coxed Pair Rowing team than Defensive Ends. Chuka Ndulue and Mike Onouha are battling for spots on the all-name team as well as for playing time at Defensive End.

Usually there are guys who feel like 8th year seniors (See: Jamarkus "Booger" McFarland) but Linebacker Jayden Bird breaks the mold. I figured he was a Junior at best but he's a Senior. Who knew? Tom Wort' s son is already being recruited but he could wreak havoc this year if he can keep from tearing a knee ligament. (Aside: How is Tom Wort a Junior and Jayden Bird a Senior? Doesn't seem right) Corey Nelson needs to live up to his potential.

And really you guys, potential is what we have to go on with the defense to start this campaign. It's all hope and optimism, raibows and unicorns. There is some quality talent and memories of crushing defenses from the early 2000's but there are some real questions on the defensive line.

My feel is that a positive attitude adjustment will by itself shave a touchdown off opponents scoring average and in the grand scheme that could be enough to make a run. If the attitude results in a bunch of baby-eaters running around with their hair on fire then so much the better. I welcome the opportunity to yell at my television in a good, nee great way.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner!