Unlike most years, I'm not going to do a final record prediction. I want the same thing everyone else wants, and I just can't see a way to put it out there seriously. I think OU will absolutely improve upon last season, that's as much as I'm willing to predict so it leaves a pretty wide swath to cover.
I will, however, put out the awards/predictions/superlatives that I enjoy (if only me).
Oldest Looking Sooner: Devante Bond
This is a new award, one born strictly out of the fact that I happened across this photo while doing my exhaustive research on the defense. If you told me this guy was once cast as "Tough Guy #2" on an episode of Hill Street Blues, I would absolutely believe you.
TC Bread Award: Jordan Smallwood
This award needs no explanation. I sifted through the roster and found Daimler, Christian who brought us such classics as the LeBaron and Cordoba. Also in the running was punter-cum-pornstar Jack Steed. Yet no one could unseat the incumbent. Poor Jordan Smallwood.
Most Likely to Disappoint: Baker Mayfield
This is no knock on Mayfield per se, but you know the old line about the backup being the most popular player on a team. I think Mayfield fell victim to that as Trevor Knight shat his crimson pants brown last year. I do think he will be a massive upgrade (tough not to be) but I don't think he's Bradford part 2 and, for many, that will be a disappointment.
Matt McCoy Memorial Gas Rag: Jordan Thomas
I opined last season that I hope no one earned this award, Thomas did so, and as such he goes into the season currently working to lose it. Thomas was not good last season. He was the whipping boy on an otherwise subpar secondary.
Old Steady: Samaje Perine
OK, now to the real awards and the only two that really matter (editors note: none of them really matter). Samaje reprises the Old Steady award for the first time since Travis Lewis. He's one of the best running backs in the country, but he's not just a home run threat. He's a battering ram that can be counted on to get 3 to 4 yards every time he touches the ball. Hence, Old Steady.
Motherfucker: Eric Striker
Perhaps it's an indication of a drop in talent, perhaps it's that we've been lucky enough to have two elite talents emerge early and become dominant mainstays on the defense, whatever the reason Eric Motherfuckin' Striker follows Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson as the second two-time Motherfucker winner since the inception way back in 2000. Striker is an absolute menace, always playing at a speed faster than anyone around him and disrupting offenses in some way nearly every down. Eric Motherfuckin' Striker.
Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner
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