texas

 Good morning Sooners fans. Coming into the Red River game on the heels of the shittiest of shitshows, our Sooners will try to do their best impression of a football team today. What a strange season it's been. I am aware of the fact that Nebraska sucks, but there is no way they suck enough to make the defense that showed up last week look good. What the hell happened? After Lincoln, for the first time in many years, I actually felt like the defense could win us some games. Then, they got absolutely destroyed by KState and TCU who aren't exactly the 99 Rams. Last week when talking with Mitchy before the game, he offhandedly joked that this wasn't a John Blake team, but honestly I don't remember a Sooners team getting embarrassed that badly since Blake was at the helm. Nothing worked on defense and in a be-careful-what-you-wish-for scenario the dreadful Dylan Gabriel went down and Davis Beville came in to dispel any rumors that he might know how to execute a forward pass. In two short weeks the Sooners went from a top 10 team with playoff aspirations to out of the top 25 and standing around with their dicks in their hands. 

On the other side texas gets back their QB Quinn Ewers who looked like the real deal before going down against alabama. Plus they have probably the best RB in the country with Bijan Robinson. Sprinkle in a dash of completely inept Sooner defense and we have a 3 Michelin Star recipe for an absolute ass beat. But....you never know in this one (speaking of John Blake: James Allen > Ricky Williams anyone?).

Offense

This is the worst OU quarterback situation since Justin Fuente duked it out with Jarrail Jackson in the 90s. Only Patrick Fletcher is not walking through that door. Has anyone checked out the Snow Junior College QB? While entertaining myself with this trip down memory lane aka nightmare OU football era I am simultaneously disgusted with how far the QB situation has fallen. We have been so spoiled for the last two-plus decades. And for the first time since Mitch and I have been doing this exercise in futility known as our "blog" I am struggling to think of who is a good candidate for OPG on offense. I'll dart throw a Marcus Major pick our there. I just can't envision a WR or TE going off with no one to give them the ball.

Defense

What a tire fire this has become. Again. I'll say DaShaun White for no good reason.

Score

I really have no confidence today. Pathetically enough I'm just hoping we don't get blown out again. But, I will sit down and watch at least the beginning with hopes that there is a miracle somewhere up Venables sleeve, maybe if he yells enough they'll play well. Sooners pull off the improbable, 31-30.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner