TCU

That Ohio State game was a debacle. A perpetually frustrating demonstration in lack of discipline and preparation. It somehow ended up looking much closer (still not close) than it actually was. The offensive line is shit, and the defense is something akin to an adult diaper made of gift-bag tissue paper, i.e. not holding much. From pre-season #3 (admittedly, that was awfully generous) to unranked in the span of 3 games. That's what happens when you get your ass kicked by the only 2 legitimate teams you play.

Les Miles was fired last weekend. Fired for failing to do more than win 8-10 games every season. Fired for failing to adapt to the changing game that is college football. Fired in spite of landing a top 5 recruiting class nearly every year, and sending multiple stars to the NFL each season. Sound familiar? Well, maybe not, the Sooners seldom have a top 5 recruiting class and almost none of their players star at the next level. Otherwise, that is OU, only with a shorter history of these failures than the Sooners. In my mind it's been at least 10 years since the hyper-athletic, dual-threat QB came in vogue. OU still has absolutely zero clue on how to even contain this variety of player, let alone stop them. That is the opposite of progress.

The Sooners have had two weeks to prepare for this game in Ft. Worth. I'm sure they're licking their wounds and what not after Ohio State. On paper, OU is probably as talented as, if not more than, TCU. The coaches have had ample time to prepare the team for a good horned frogs squad. OU had better come to play, because Gary Patterson (an underrated coach I think) will damn sure have his guys ready.

Offense

OU's only really strong area is at the skill positions in the backfield. Sadly, this is masked by an offense line who evidently hasn't been informed that defensive players move around, and it's good to get in their way on occasion. I will pick Baker Mayfield today. I really like him, and I feel bad for him that he's really toiling on a bad team. He's a good player and looks like he really leaves it all out there trying to win. I think he does some good things today, and his receivers don't let him down.

Defense

If someone passed you a plate of giant dog boners and asked you which one you'd prefer to suck on for three hours, how would you decide which one?

Score

I'm really tired of losing, and I'm really tired of the way they're losing (read: "Kicked, The Sooner Football Ass Story). I would love to see the guys go down, come out fired up, and fly around the field making plays. But I hate to say it, I just don't see it. Maybe if this game were in Norman, but I think OU plays it close in the first half and fails to adjust after the break. TCU 31, OU 17.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

OU vs. TCU

Welp I guess we are who we thought we were. The Sooners are coming off a working at the hands of the Buckeyes. tOSU is the better team. You could easily see the talent disparity. There seems to be a lot of prattle here in Sooner Nation about whether the issue is the players or coaches. If you say it's coaching then whoever you are talking to inevitably recites Bob's line about coaches not being on the field. I've used the same defense many times myself.

Something is way off though. At this point nobody would second guess Bob if he decided, right now, to send Brother Mike off packing. Mike Part II has been a disaster. And yes, Sooner fans got what they begged for. But Bob can't just fire his brother in the middle of the season. It would be untoward. And Bob can't get fired (But I saw a sign asking for it hanging from a balcony after the game). So hang on for the least exciting season of Sooner football in memory. Sorry.

Also, there are elite teams in college football. By anyone's standards, especially their own, OU is supposed to be an elite team. So nobody is off base with inflated expectations. If you want to be elite then look around at other elite teams. You know what elite teams do? They re-load. Someone leaves, someone enters, as an average across the board the overall quality of play remains the same. Elite teams don't rebuild.

The Sooners are in rebuild mode and, sadly, all it took was losing Sterling Sheperd, Zack Sanchez and Eric Striker. Three skill players with nobody filling their voids. There should be elite skill players tripping over each other on the sidelines. You hear coaches gushing about them in practice and the offseason all the time. You hear recruiting services and their minions talking about them as the next (insert all-time great name here). Why aren't they developed and ready to go when they get their chance? Are they actually elite? That's not, "on the field". That's a recruiting problem. It's a coaching problem. In college football the two are the same.

Anyway, if you care to buy into the propoganda the athletic department is spewing out, the Sooners still have a Big 12 title to play for. The race for Big 12 title number ten starts now. So let's move on, shall we?

OFFENSE

Joe Mixon

DEFENSE

Fuck off.

THE SCORE

I'm not real sure why we are favored other than it's related to the Oklahoma mythology mentioned above. We've proven we're not a top tier team. Our defense has stopped no one. If we win I think it's a shootout. I'll say 42-35.

Don't be surprised if we lose, look bad and Mike is no longer calling plays next week though.

The Ohio State

Greetings and welcome to the biggest non-conference home game since Notre Dame in 2012. Hopefully this one goes a little better, though I am not optimistic. On that note IT'S FOOTBALL TIME IN OKLAHOMA!

My lack of optimism owes to the fact that last week was every bit the schlock fest I billed it to be in this very column. Sure, the Sooners, "Took Care of Business". But it was against a team so god-awful that we still have no idea who on this Sooners team (particularly defense) can and cannot play big boy football. B.D. Mayfield did distribute the ball to a number of receivers. That needed to happen. Former walk-on Nick Basquine showed that he might be able to help a little bit. I was impressed by the motor of Neville Gallimore (GREAT football name) but he was playing because Matt Dimon did something dumb so who knows if he'll get back on the field or not. Beyond that, are we remotely prepared to hang with Ohio State on the national stage, in primetime? If you say yes with confidence, you're high.

OFFENSE

There is a lot of pressure on the O-Line here. Against Houston, they made true freshman Ed Oliver look like an All Pro. Last week they didn't get challenged. The Sooners are in deep doodoo if B.D. Mayfield is scrambling around to throw the ball away and/or Samaje Perine can't get going. Perine is averaging 45 yards per game thus far. That's one drive for him in any game the last two seasons. I don't think his skills are diminishing either. I'm telling you the O-Line needs to get their shit together double time.

For my OPOG I'm going Baker Damn Mayfield. An easy pick, yes. But in big games you need your best player to be at their best. The offense lives and dies by him. Please live. Please.


DEFENSE

Our secondary is turds. It is inconceivable that through two games against average, at best, passers that the secondary has only one pass breakup and no interceptions. One pass breakup. I'm not convinced J.T. Barrett is a great passer either but I'm also not convinced we can keep him from looking like Drew Brees. That stat is alarming. The Sooners have five pass breakups total, one from the secondary. No INT's. They are not "getting their hands on a lot of balls" as Bobby Stoops likes to say. And I'm not buying any of this vanilla defense up until now nonsense either. We're neither smart enough nor good enough for such tactics.

Never mind the pass can we stop the run? So help me if we start getting gashed up the middle. J.T. Barrett can run and the Buckeyes have their own two headed monster in the backfield in Mike Weber and Curtis Samuel.

What I'm saying here is the Sooners have to play perfect on this side of the ball. They have to be disciplined both before and after the whistle. They can't be getting lost in the secondary. They need to create turnovers. So simple and yet, to this point, unattainable.

This is wishful thinking but I'm going with Ogbonnia Okoronkwo for player of the game. I hope he has a coming out party and plays, "In a great way".

THE GAME

It's bad that I'm counting on the intangibles as the Sooners best chance of victory. By that I mean how it's a home game at night. How the atmosphere will be Texas Tech 2013 electric (hopefully). How we play better as underdogs. I used to be a firm believer in the power of such things. But if we're as bad as I think we are on the O-Line and in the secondary all that gets wiped out by halftime.

I really hope I'm wrong and I will pick a score based on the belief that I am wrong and I'm just being crotchety. Let's see what we have.

Sooners 27, Buckeyes 17

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner.

Here come the Buckeyes

It's a big one, there's no way around it. The Ohio State Buckeyes come to town ranked #3 (or #4 depending on where you look) for a clash with the #14 Sooners. This is an opportunity for the Sooners to put their season goals back in front of them. A win would certainly get them back up in the rankings and back in the playoff discussion (albeit needing help). There was a time, roughly a dozen years ago, where the name Big Game Bob would be thrown about by the talking heads. A time where it wouldn't be shocking for this clash to turn into a laugher by half time with the Sooners high stepping to a 40 point demolition. Whoa, how those days have past. I read this week that no team in the nation has lost more games since 2009 when favored by double digits than the Sooners. Now, the Sooners aren't even favored, let alone by double digits in this one (the Sooners are a one point dog in this one). I do think that plays into the Sooners hands a bit.

I've talked at length about OU's woeful lack of preparation and inability to adjust in-game. Mostly this has come in games where historically the program OU is facing is much worse (see: Sooners vs. Houston et al, 2016). It also happens in big bowl games, or playoff games etc. Basically, Big Game Bob is now in the company of the Nebraska option offense and Notre Dame football. However, there is one area where the Sooners still show up from time to time. It's coming off a shitty loss, against a big time team, at home when nobody thinks they can win (wow, if that's the perfect storm needed to get them to prepare, good luck ever running the table again). Kind of, sort of, exactly like today.

Offense

I've not read a ton previewing today's game, but most of what I've read reduces this game down to Baker Mayfield vs. JT Barrett. Obviously, those two will play a big role (more on that in a minute) and have a major impact on the outcome, but if OU has any chance at all, they will need to run the ball very effectively throughout. Keeping that panty liner defense off of the field is crucial. I think Perine announces his national presence (again) and has a big day. Probably not in a highlight reel fashion, but I see more of a yeoman's work-like day with 25 carries, 90ish yards and a couple of scores. In other words, exactly what they need. 

Defense

The Sooners defense has looked pretty terrible so far. Don't bring up any ULM game references, everyone knows that's bullshit. I read that opponents with mobile/hybrid QBs 3rd down conversion rate goes up to nearly 50% against OU defenses over the last several years (that's a solid fact if I've read one), opposed to 40% vs. pocket guys. This does not bode well. JT Barrett fits the mold perfectly of every quarterback that OU struggles with. Oh, and he's also excellent against the blitz (aka the only way the Sooners ever generate pressure). Once again, there's no pick here. Someone has to prove they are hard on this side of the ball. I will happily pick it when I see it, but I'm no longer going to pretend.

Score

This game has me so fired up. My biggest fear is that OU really shits the bed and nothing remains to cheer for after the 1st half. The Sooners will be pumped and ready I think. The non-student fans may actually bring the decibels up to something above a Starbucks level. But, in an era of ever-increasing parity across the college landscape, Ohio State is maybe the only team (besides Alabama) to year-in year-out obtain elite and superior talent. Make no mistake, Barrett is great and the perfect QB to dismantle the OU D, but they are loaded nearly everywhere else too. OU will be ready and this will be a good one. Ohio State has too much, Buckeyes 31-Sooners 27.

Prove me wrong.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

The Un-Steamroller

When I reached out to Mitch a few weeks ago about getting this thing going again his interest was, um, lukewarm. So we shelved it with the idea that we'd go back to our old style of just discussing and not printing our intellectual analysis and rapist wit. So evidently at least one person was disappointed by this turn of events and things are revved up again. But, we've decided to take the gloves off and not make everything sunshine and lollipops. In fact, my personal objective is to approach this with a sort of "prove it" mentality with an assumption of the worst. I'll continue to root like crazy, because I love OU football, but it's getting pretty discouraging. Maybe nothing has changed.

The game last week was one of the more frustrating ones in a while. But, as I've thought more about it, this is the typical shit that drives me crazy every year. Lack of preparation, poor execution and absolutely zero ability to adjust. I'm going to say it, and I mean it, even last year, I don't think Stoops is much of a coach. Yes, they win 8, 9, even 10 games nearly every year. Yes, he's the winningest coach in school history, and yes it's time for a change. I'm not going to rehash it again, because I'm fairly certain I've said it before. But, it's the same shit every year. It's now starting the 17th year without a championship, and nearly a decade since they've played in one. If anyone tells you they're satisfied with that, they're either lying or they don't get Sooner football.

Offense

I will say Perine here. The offensive line is pretty shitty. Mayfield will do his usual things which are great, but he has little besides Mark Andrews (whom they don't use nearly enough, mismatch anyone?) to throw to. ULM will get beat up strictly due to an enormous talent discrepancy. Perine goes over 100 and 2 scores.

Defense

Fuck me. This is like picking which ice pick you want jammed in your urethra. Nobody is worth a pick here. Houston is talented but that shit was embarrassing. No pressure without a blitz (or with one mostly), terrible downfield coverage and no ability stop even the most favorable 3rd down situations. So I'm picking no one. They look like shit.

Score

OU will win. Probably handily, and stoops will have smug comments to anyone who questions him in anyway about shortcomings with the team. Spread is 46, I'm guessing they'll cover. Sooners win a cupcake 55-6.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

:: Pours whiskey, cracks knuckles and settles down in front of the IBM Selectra II ::

Greetings loyal readers and welcome back to another, albeit belated and surprising, addition of the Steamroller. Per  several letters to the Editor, the only thing as remotely disappointing as the Sooners performance against Houston was me and my decision to bail on this blog.

Alas, fear not for I am with thee.

By now we should all be somewhere between Bargaining and Acceptance on our personal grief journey. I'm somewhere right around here: Bargaining-------I--Depression. Remember, if you feel like you're out there alone in the wilderness, there are hundreds of thousands of Sooners fans just as bewildered and pissed off as you right now. We can get through this together.

Seriously though what the hell?

Give Houston credit. They are quality football team blah blah blah. But when will the Sooners realize every opponent approaches them like its their Super Bowl®? Houston finished 2015 with a nice bowl win and then looked at the 2016 slate and realized, "Great Hosanna! If we beat OU we're in control of our BCS destiny after week 1".

OU came off an assbeating from Clemson, looked at the schedule, saw Houston, scratched their buttholes and sniffed their fingers.

There are no valid excuses. Houston was better prepared and played harder. What happens when the Sooners are better prepared and play harder? They throttle people. How often does that happen? About as often as the shoe is on the other foot. Once or twice a season. So there's your ten wins, occasional conference title games/bowl wins and occasional national stage embarrassments. We're not trying to land lunar rovers on comets here.

On to Louisiana Monroe, a game so devoid of interest it's relegated to Pay Per View. I'd rather give away my tickets and buy the damn show than spend six hours plus heading to Norman and back for this schlock fest.

OFFENSE

I can't believe it but after the small sample size of one awful game it appears there are four options on offense. Baker Damn Mayfield (henceforth B.D. Mayfield as far as I am concerned), Samaje Perine, Joe Mixon and Mark Andrews. It is unbelievable that an offseason of work would have failed to produce two more reliable options at wide receiver. I don't even mean replacing the production of Sterling Shepard. I mean, players that can get open and not do dumb things if/when they catch the ball. Wide receiver development needs to be the focus of this game. The Sooners are effed if they can't figure it out.

However... Lincoln Riley got a case of the Heupels when he abandoned the running game which is, you know, only the most potent backfield in the country probably. Yeah, Perine went out for a bit with "a shoulder" but he returned and he makes for a damn fine decoy. I get the feeling that sort of sorcery is a bit much for these guys to handle mentally if it isn't already a contingency in the game plan though.

Since I didn't publicly proclaim that Joe Mixon will have a breakout season I will do so again for my OPOG this week. Joe Mixon is going to bust loose this year. The inexcusable lady beating is kind of behind him, he's had a whole offseason where he could participate and my advanced scouting metrics indicate he is a multi-threat beast.

I'm leaving the O-Line alone for just this minute.

DEFENSE

Well these guys looked a little disjointed to say the least. Dakota Austin earned Twitter's Vine of the Week by trying to tackle a person without the ball. Hell of a motor though I guess. Obwe Onyonkawya nee Ogbonnia Okoronkwo probably passes the Kirk Herbstreit "Eye Test" and might be one hell of a player someday but it's hard for me to tell if he was everywhere or getting picked on. Other than that I remember Steven Parker got dinged up and that's about it for the memorable moments.

The highlight for me was actually seeing Mike Stoops frothing at the mouth in the press box. He clearly belongs there. This bunch seems like they could tune out his profanity laced tirades fairly easily.

This week let's hope for baby steps. Maybe a three and out or two. Buttoning up on third down. Maybe not committing dumb shit penalties to keep drives alive. Some push up the middle? I don't know I'm spitballing here.

Who's the leader of this group anyway? Is there an MF'er? I'll pin my hopes for Defensive Player of the Game this week on Jordan Wade. It all starts up front as "they" say.

THE SCORE

We're 0-1 playing a PPV tilt against a stank team. I can't remember (and maybe I'm alone here) a less exciting home opener since the Blake days.

Let's kick their ass and hope they are more inspired than me while they do it. There is an actual big game next week and if nobody wants to get embarrassed it's time to get down to business.

Sooners 49 - Warhawks 17

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

Clemson - The Semi(wood)'s

Well sports fans, here we are at the penultimate game for college football. The Sooners come into this game having Steamrolled (it's the name of this blog) the Big 12 powerhouses in a November that can only be described as badass. Somehow, after losing to a decidedly shitty texas squad in October, the Sooners "got their shit together" and kicked everyone's ass thereafter. So much so, that even though Clemson is #1 and undefeated, OU is favored in this game and also predicted by many to win it all. I, not surprisingly, have less confidence. Lest we forget, this same Clemson squad demolished OU but 1 year ago. Hopefully, the locker room bulletin board is overloaded with reminders of this.

The matchup is a wet dream for the NCAA and media outlets everywhere. The rematch, the balanced teams, the coaching undertones with Venables, the undefeated darlings, and the old time power all simmer together and make the most delicious matchup. I'm nervous, the Sooners have a recent history (approximately the last decade) of wilting when the lights are hottest. Clemson, no doubt, feels slighted that they, the #1 and undefeated team, come in as underdogs. There is no shortage of motivation for either side, In short, this is huge.

Offense

All week, the story has been Mayfield and Watson. I even read an ESPN puff piece on Mayfield's intramural days at OU. Both are dynamic and both will probably influence the outcome of this game more than any one player on their respective teams. That said, I'm not going with Mayfield here. Perine and Mixon are going to both be huge, they are as essential to the hopes of Sooner nation as Mayfield. But, one player has scarcely been mentioned all week. I think Sterling Shepard hauls in 10 balls, and scores twice. I think Clemson doesn't have an answer for him tonight.

Defense

Whoa doctor, this is where the rubber meets the road. Deshaun Watson is as dynamic of a player as there is in college football. I was looking at some advanced metrics on him and in most categories his two most similar comparisons historically are Cam Newton and Russell Wilson. Yikes. The idea is simple, the execution? Nearly impossible. Shut down Watson and OU will win this game. Who will step up for the Sooners today? Whew, my hope is everyone but if pinning it down to one individual, I'm going with Charles "Ass" Tapper. He's really developed into a monster this year. I think his foot is squarely in Watson's ass all day.

Score

Many years ago, my buddy Mitch and I were driving around in my home town, during a weekend I had coaxed him to make the drive 4 hours up I-44. It was cold, and with little else to do, we stopped at a Blockbuster Music Store and purchased a CD (ladies and gentleman, my submission for most dated sentence of 2015). Why do I remember this apparently mundane sequence of events so vividly? It was both of our first exposures to a band called Parliament. I'm not saying I remember everything perfectly after that point, but I do know we listened to it on repeat about 5 times. Last night I had the great pleasure of seeing George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic live. As I proceeded to boogie, my mind turned to that long ago night, and I only felt good vibes for Sooner nation. Sooners beat Clemson today 34-24.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.