Oklahoma State

I'm afraid it's going to be a familiar refrain from me in this one, loyal reader(s). The season is setting up as a typical Stoops campaign. Some early losses, at least one that should have never happened, then riding an above average (but nowhere near elite) team to an empty conference title and a second-tier bowl appearance that no one will care about outside of (and possibly within) school circles. This will likely lead to some snarky and arrogant retorts by Stoops if/when questioned about the program falling off in the national picture. It's a broken record at this point (and yes I remember last seasons playoff appearance...where the Sooners were dismantled).

Oklahoma State comes to town in a tasty top 10 matchup. Sadly, it really means nothing beyond pride and viewership will likely be up due to a lack of anything else to watch today. Oklahoma State comes in on the tail-end of a nice season where they should probably be more in the playoff conversation than they are. Their QB will likely be a first or second round bust in the next 2 or 3 years, which means he's probably going to have a huge day against the Red Carpet.

I should backpedal a bit and say the Sooners did play a fine game in WVU two weeks ago. Though it should be noted that the Mountaineers did diarrhea all over themselves multiple times in that first half, basically gifting an insurmountable lead to OU. But in the interest of credit where due, OU did capitalize on the mistakes and came out with a nice win. Will The Sooner D show up today? Will the offense control the ball with the run-game in between bombs to the Secretary? Will Oklahoma State wear helmets shaped like actual cowboy hats and some kind of lights on their pants?

Offense

This is fun picking these. For all of the negativity I spew on the Sooners, they can score some points when the offensive line does their job. The skill players are all really great, and they are a nice complementary group with different strengths. I'd love to go Mixon or Perine, and I really think they'll both have very nice games. I also think Mayfield will do a nice job, but I'm going with The Secretary. Dede score 2 long touchdowns where he simply outruns everyone else on the field, goes over 150 yards receiving, and takes 3 mistake-free memos while covering the phones.

Defense

Still not going to do it. I just can't, and it annoys me when I do.

Score

It's a shootout...again. OSU will be ready and they are probably the more complete team simply based on our terrible defense. If this were in Stillwater I'd absolutely pick the pokes. But it's not, and I think being at home is enough. In a rare-for-this-season moment of optimism, I think OU wins this one 47-44.


Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Bedlam

Who's ready for some 10-2 and a Big 12 Title? Nobody, if you're fed up with 10-2 seasons, ornamental Big 12 Titles and falling just shy of being elite. On the other hand, 9-3 and Big 12 runners-up after a Bedlam loss does not have a nice ring to it at all. I'm kind of fiddle-farting around here (Technical Jargon) to say that this game is kind of a big deal.

The Sooners are coming off their most impressive win of the season against West Virginia. The Sooners eliminated the Mountaineers from Big 12 title contention and completely wiped them out of the national conversation. The Sooners took the fight to the Mountaineers early. The offense was firing on all cylinders and the defense delivered its best performance by far. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention a lapse in the second half where Lincoln Riley forgot he did not have the luxury of a defense capable of protecting a four touchdown lead and said defense forgot there were four quarters in a football game. Still, it was by far the best total performance for the Sooners thus far this season and it came at no better time.

Oklahoma State, meanwhile, comes in riding a seven game win streak against opponents as impressive as Mike Gundy's mullet. Mike Gundy, by the way, tucks his sweatshirt into his pleated pants lest you believe the mullet is some part of some overall hipster persona. Sorry Poke fans he's just not cool. He's a putz.

OFFENSE

What more can you say, really? The Sooners are a juggernaut at this point. Two Heisman candidates in Baker and the Secretary, Dede Westbrook. The best running back tandem in college football and an offensive line that's getting better by the week. Oklahoma State simply can't matchup across the field to bottle up the Sooners. The only hope for the Cowboys is to turn the ball over multiple times and that's not going to happen.

For my OPOG I'm going with Dede. I've enjoyed his coming out party on the national scene and it would be awesome if he could put a nice tidy bow on his surging Heisman campaign by lighting it up.

DEFENSE

Here's where I'm at mentally. I can now step outside of myself and not be blinded by crimson colored glasses. I can see that the Sooners offense is fun enough to watch and, ergo, vis a vis, live with the fact that the defense is just bad enough that whoever they play will also score points. The result of which is a fun contest to watch. But the offense is so good that I need not sweat the outcome. At this point they will not play an elite defense Saturday or in a bowl game so let's just roll with it.

As for the Cowboys, they are not as lethal on offense as in years past. Mason Rudolph is average. Poke wide receiver James Washington (who is elite) and the Sooners secondary will make him appear slightly above average (hopefully not All World). The OSU running attack is meh.

For my DPOG I'm going with Jordan Evans for maybe the fourth week in a row. Again, he is the sharpest in a drawer of dull knives.

THE SCORE

The bottom line is the Sooners D is marginally (and I mean the thinnest of margins) better than the Cowboys. The Sooners offense is better at every position including wide receiver. The Cowboys don't have enough on either side of the ball to overcome BD Mayfield, Dede, Joe Mixon and Semaje Perine. Plus, it's in Norman.

I like the Sooners here big.

Sooners 52, OSU 35

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

WVU Mountaineers

OU avoided a trap game last Thursday in a classic, what-the-hell-happened? game that has bitten the Sooners in the past. A cupcake sandwiched between two good teams, on the road, and on a short week no less, but OU was able to find enough to beat a sorely overmatched ISU team. Now, it's on to Morgantown to take on a tough WVU club that has only lost one. 

This will be a tough road game to be sure, WVU can score, and if you have watched as much as 30 seconds of Sooner football this year, we don't care much for preventing that. I know, I know, They haven't played anybody... (inferior intelligence voice), and they haven't, that's true. I'd argue we haven't either besides Ohio State and maaaaaybe Houston and...so... This looks like it might be Texas Tech 2: The Red Carpet Returns. Let's suffice to say that between the Ruf Neks and that buckskin brawler, they'll need enough ammo to stage an Alamo reenactment. 

Offense

This is the fun part of the picks category. One where there are, you know, viable optionS. I like Mixon. I like Perine. I like Mayfield and of course I like The Secretary. I think all will play very respectable games that in any other context would be gimmes for this "award". But, I'm picking Perine in this one. I think that at some point ball control will play a factor (reader: knowing laugh/pitiful head shake) and that's our guy for hitting you in the mouth and picking up first downs. Give me Samaje!

Defense

Whew, I tried, I really did. But there just isn't anyone. It's a terrible D, and it's not just one or two weak spots or key players. It's a rotating cast of missed assignments, shitty tackling and general buffoonery. No one is exempt. So, I can't do it. I'd mention how badly we'll miss Charles Walker but he hasn't really played all year anyway. Best of luck to him.

Score

As much as people want to say this has national title implications, the chances of that are pretty absurd. It does however have conference title implications. And as sure as Stoops can't beat anyone on the national stage, he can win conference championships. Sooners take this one in another laugher (for the wrong reasons) 55-49.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

West Virginia

Just as we all thought, Big 12 title hopes run through Morgantown this week as the Sooners take on West Virginia. The winner stays in control of their destiny and loser is relegated to a mid-tier bowl, at best.

Moral dilemma. I broached the subject last week but now it's real. The Sooners are overrated. I think we will end the season with three losses. I'm sorry, but as good as the offense is (and it is elite), an 81st ranked defense has no business being in the top 10 nationally, much less the playoffs. It does not compute. Fun aside, while I was looking at defensive team stats; The Sooners are ranked 81st nationally. Five SEC teams are ranked lower. That conference's reputation is staked on two or three teams a year at best.

So, would you rather that third loss come against West Virgina or Oklahoma State? On the plus side the Sooners would be properly rated, play in a second tier bowl and likely dominate someone. There will be no anxiety heading into the bowl game and the Sooners end the season on a high note. I would obviously rather lose to West Virginny on the road than the Cowboys at home.

Or the Sooners win out and someone (likely others- plural) lose and the Sooners backdoor their way into the playoffs. Yay playoffs. Boo probable ass whipping.

If you have any pride and competitive spirit you would want to win out and get in the playoffs, right? This team just has no business being there. I'm torn.

OFFENSE

The Sooners haven't faced a defense this tough (at least statistically) since Ohio State. The Mountaineers haven't faced an offense this potent since Oklahoma State. What gives?

The recent emergence of additional receiving options for Baker Mayfield gives the Sooners a big time edge. Obviously the Secretary Dede Westbrook is playing video game level football right now but eventually a competent defense is going to come along and have a safety help out over the top, right? It's easier said than done if you start having to think about Geno Lewis and/or Nick Basquine and/or Mark Andrews (what's happened to him?) and/or Joe Mixon.

The Sooners are rounding into form at the right time. Receivers are stepping up. The backfield is at full strength. Baker is being Baker. And the O-Line personnel seems settled and looking tough. I just don't see the Mountaineers shutting it down. I lose my boner a little bit when I think about the Mountaineers playing at home, at night, on national TV though.

For my OPOG I'm going Joe Mixon.

DEFENSE

West Virginia does not have the playmakers of years past. Still, they average 30 points a game. Care to guess how many the Sooners Red Carpet averages giving up? Against inferior competition over the last month they have started to look better. Can this newfound confidence hold a better team under its scoring average, on the road, on Saturday night? My butthole is puckered.

I'd like to also point out that any talk about key players coming back and helping out can be put to rest. Charles Walker and Matt Dimon are both done as Sooners. So they aren't walking through that door. We are what we are.

For my DPOG I'll go Jordan Evans. He's playing like a guy who sees his collegiate career winding down and wants to go out on a high note. He's been playing really well.


SCORE

Get ready for a nail biter. The Sooners will be held below their scoring average and West Virginia won't. Playmakers are the difference for the Sooners and the nation will get to behold Baker, Joe, Samje and Dede in all their glory.

Sooners 38, West Virginia 35

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner.

Baylor Bears

I'm only putting this up 10 minute prior to kickoff because I've not slept in 3 days creating the perfect "piece" and wanted to ensure no detail was overlooked in creating this masterpiece. OU avoided the upset last week in a classic "trap" game, now let's see if they can force at least 1 punt in this track meet against Baylor

Offense

After a week to think about his egregious miscue, I feel that Mixon comes back with a vengeance. I just learned that Perine is back as well which is huge as he is a monster. But today belongs to Mixon with 2 scores and 150+ all purpose yards.

Defense

I'm going with Steven Parker again, mostly because I'm feeling generous. Let's see what happens against a Baylor offense ripe to score 40+.

Score

Speaking of 40+, I think OU wins by virtue of having the home crowd in this one, 49-45. The spread is a ludicrous 17.5 in favor of the Sooners, making me wish I was in Vegas as I'd bet my house against that one.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Baylor

The Sooners take on the Sinners from Baylor today. The luster of this one doesn't match recent years. That bodes well for the Sooners.

In the past, Art Briles would dial up the ol "5 yard out and up your ass until you stop it" routine. It's effectiveness was more due to Baylor's offense being lethal than defensive ineptitude (though at the time it didn't feel that way). This year it will be because the Red Carpet (hat tip) is rolled out.

Today it might be BD Mayfield's turn to embarrass. I know I'd love to see it. It's legitimate to ask how Baylor has a football team at this point anyway.

OFFENSE

I had lunch with Travis Frye, a gentleman and scholar, who tossed out a theory that Mayfield might not play today. Mr. Frye has a side project wherein he diagnoses others drug use, plastic surgery and now, apparently, unreported football injuries. He thinks Mayfield suffered a concussion late last week and couldn't have possibly passed protocol this week.

Of course the public has heard nothing on this but it could certainly be possible. Although I also think it's likely the protocol, if it was protocoled (?), was "passed". Wink Wink Nudge Nudge Nuff Said.

If true, and he doesn't play, all bets for victory are off. The dropoff from Baker to Austin Kendall is like Domantis Sabonis stepping into the Thunder lineup to replace Kevin Durant.

The big confirmed news today though is the return of Semaje Perine and Joe Mixon. I'm going with Samaje for my OPOG today on the basis of two things. One, the Baylor run defense sucks. Two, Semaje is rested and, I assume, ready to put on some pads and run over, around and through some fools. I think he has his best day of the year today. He'll go for about 175 and three scores. Keith's lock of the week.

DEFENSE

All I can say here is that hopefully the D has built up enough confidence against Kansas and Iowa State to lift them a peg above the suboptimal brand of football they demonstrated most of the season.

This one boils down to the Sooners stopping Baylor's rushing attack. Paradoxically I think it's the secondary that will be the key. If they can be halfway decent it should free up the front to focus on stopping the rushing attack. That secondary needs to be physical and I'm not sure they have it in them. Or, perhaps closer to the mark, they aren't coached that way.

Picking someone for DPOG on this side is nearly impossible since most are injured or new. I have no idea who's even playing at a given time. So, just because for some reason he's my favorite player on that side of the ball I'll pick Sir Neville Gallimore.

THE SCORE

I have no reason to believe the Sooners are 18 points better than the Bears like the current line indicates but I haven't watched much Baylor football either. On paper these teams look pretty even so I expect yet another blood pressure raising shootout. So double down on the Zestril and hang on. Sooners 56, Baylor 49.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner

ISU

The Sooners, fresh off a dominating performance against KU, roll up to Ames on a short week to take on a scrappy Iowa State team. The Red Carpet actually put together some stops last week and looked something like a defense. Normally I'd temper all excitement with some shots at KU, but this defense is so abysmal any victory is huge. Let's hope something is starting to work, but not hold our breath while doing so.

OU, once an embarrassment of talent in the backfield are now without an injured Perine and a suspended Joe Mixon. The suspensions are just as much of a part of the Stoops clown show as the big stage embarrassments and non-adjustments. I don't have much else to say about it. Hopefully someone else can step up, but Mixon and his all-around production will be hard to replace.

Offense

With hardly anyone in the backfield, the choices for OPG are narrowing by the minute. I'd love to go against the grain somewhat and say Mark Andrews, he's due to break out (a sentence I feel I've been repeating since last year), but I am going with The Secretary. It's almost dumb to pick Dede and not Mayfield, but I'm doing it because I envision some nice plays after the catch.

Defense

Well, as promised they finally played like a team. I still don't think there is anyone over here who is worth DPG, but I'm going with Steven Parker tonight. I think he plays well. This could go back to nobody next week.

Score

This feels like a let down to me. Not that I expect anyone was overly fired up to play/beat KU, but they dominated. It's just the type of win that gets the Stoop boys overconfident and going through the motions. Couple that with a missing Mixon and Perine, a road game against a team/school who still gets fired up to play OU, and a short week and this looks like a recipe for a loss. In the upset special, I think Iowa State wins it 31-27. Man, I hope I'm wrong.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner