Texas A&M

My original title for this post was "Johnny Footbal...er Texas A&M", but Mitch beat me to the punch on that one, so-to-speak. This is always a bitter-sweet post for the season. It's the last until a long summer, football void. Yet, it's generally preceding the most important game of the year. Although this isn't a BCS bowl (NIU more than proved their worth by kinda hanging with an underwhelming FSU team for nearly 3 quarters), it's certainly the cream of "the rest" if you will. In fact, apart from the National Championship and last night's (in hindsight) less-than-competitive Fiesta Bowl, I don't think it's reach to say this is the most interesting matchup of this bowl season. That fact alone has me pumped for this one.

This is the end of an era of OU football. It's the last game for an icon, the hero to all who've ever done less with more, the master of hurrying under center then standing up and looking to the sideline to see what he should do, JC's favorite son, Lonnie Jones. Needless to say, my mention of this post, and the game it pertains to, being bitter-sweet certainly alluded to Lonnie regarding the "sweet" part of it. I'm not sad to see him go, not even a little. When he inevitably throws a terrible pick this evening, I'll get some small bit of satisfaction knowing it's the last game I'll have to endure it.

However, this might also be our last year of real contention for a bit. We stand to lose quite a bit in terms of personnel. Too much to even begin to highlight really. This doesn't even include the underclassman who may leave early. I know we probably have some pretty decent young guys who will step up next season, but I think there are going to be some rough times next year. I digress however, tonight is a huge challenge and I am not sure if I've had this much doubt going into a game in a long time.

We all know about Manziere (Can I say that this nickname is number one on my list of disappointments as it pertains to conference realignment? It's too perfect, we could even alternate in "The Bro" from time-to-time. Such a bummer), he's an absolute animal. Not to mention, if you were to have Japanese scientists design a cyborg QB tailor-made to shred every OU defense of the last decade it would be this guy. This alone is terrifying, but throw in an all-world offensive line (including a possible #1 overall NFL draft pick/4 year starting LT) facing a subpar and now depleted DL and things look very grim indeed.

Our best chance in this one is to hope that we can keep pace with their scoring, we get a couple of more turnovers than them, and that Mike Stoops is able to work some of his old magic (read: don't count on it). This is getting depressing, on to the picks!

Offense

Last game of the year and I haven't given this too much thought really. I've thought about the game, but not who I think will step up. There are several people who I'd like to see step up, in fact I hope they all do. I'd love to say Justin Brown in his last collegiate start, or Fuckin' Shitbag who may also be suiting up as a Sooner for the last time, but I'm not. I'm going to go with Damien Williams. I think tonight is his coming out party on the national stage. It's high time everyone else got a look at the guy we've known was hard all year. I like him to break off at least one long one and show that extra gear. It will be awfully fun if he does.

Defense

I have about as much confidence here as I have any other game this year, that is to say none. I really wish David King or one of the guys up front really put on a clinic tonight and keep the Manziere in check. Sadly, I don't see it. For no other reason than I'm going with my heart here, I'm picking Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson. He's gotten to the point, I think, where he's so consistent that it's hard to notice how much he does. Tonight, I think we get a taste of how dominant he can be. I've got a bad feeling this is his last game as a Sooner. I think he knows it, and I think he steps up accordingly.

Score

As I said, I've got an awful feeling here, I really do. But, I also have faith and I think if we play as well as we're capable of that we can win. They're good, but they've got the same number of losses that we do. I think the offense does it's thing, and the defense does just barely enough. It's a close one, and it comes down to the fourth quarter. Sooners pull it out (tee hee) 31-30.

Now, for the last time this season, let's roll some motherfucking heads and show these rotten bastards that they're lucky to have left the Big 12.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

TCU

The last game of the 2012 regular season sets OU to face the Horned Frogs of TCU on the road in Texas. TCU the last new addition to the Big 12 the Sooners have yet to face as a conference foe. They aren't as good as a few years ago, but still play solid defense and are a tough win on the road. Not to mention, I'm sure they'd like nothing more than to beat the Sooners on the way out of their first in-conference season with us.

This game marks the last (non-bowl) game of the Lonnie Jones era. It's not much of a "grey" area as to where I stand on Lonnie. As Mitch mentioned last week, he'll leave as the winningest QB in OU history with nearly every passing record, yet it constantly feels as though he underachieves. However you stand on the issue, he's nearly done, and I'm not terribly upset. I am confident of one thing however, I will not be saying the words "I wish we had Landry back" next season.

In spite of my general distaste for his play, Lonnie has done pretty well the last couple of weeks. He made some big plays against WVU and managed the game well against the pokes. He'll need to be similarly protective of the ball today in order for us to win. The real question is whether or not he will be intimidated playing a school with "christian" in the name ("does god love them more than me?"...cries).

We all know that we are counting on texas to beat Kstate in order for a victory over TCU to mean a conference championship (don't give me that "co-champs" horseshit, they beat us, end of discussion). In other words, congratulations Kstate on winning the 2012 Big 12. What is more annoying is that Kent State has a real shot at getting a BCS game. This sucks. Hopefully we crush TCU, things go our way and we're playing for a bowl not sponsored by a weed-eater. (Update: I just read that Kent State lost last night, now we're looking at the less likely scenario that NIU jumps into the top 16, not impossible but more improbable than Kent State making that leap if they had won.)

Offense

Will I reverse my unwritten policy of never picking Lonnie as my player of the game? Will I throw him the ever-so-smallest of bones on his way out? I know my co-author knows the answer to those questions without reading any further (no I will not). I do however semi-contradict myself by picking WR's often. Today will be another example of that. I'm feeling a bit like going on a limb today. I'm going with Sterling Shepard. No real reason, we've got a ton of weapons on O. He's one of them, and I have a gut feeling he will do something awesome.

Defense

Not much to say here. I'm going with Tony Motherfuckin Jefferson. It's a guess. That is all.

Score

I just can't envision another 99-98 track meet today. They play better defense than that (I think) and I don't think they can score that regularly. Although, if anyone can make them look good on offense it's us. I think we do enough, win the game and watch the scoreboards the rest of the afternoon. Sooners beat the Horned Frogs 35-24.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Oklahoma v. Baylor

Since I couldn't care much less for today's matchup, let's talk Landry. Landry still does Lonnie things. I can't imagine how much money he cost himself by not going to the NFL last year. His whole career he's been leaving 150 passing yards on the table week after week. Last week was no exception. He'd have records no one could touch if he could keep his head out of his ass. His two INT's in the first half single-handedly kept things interesting. I think he might be, I'm sorry to say, the dumbest QB in the Stoops era. How else can you explain the fact that he has absolutely zero authority to check out of a play. Or that he never seems to survey the field prior to a play. He HAS to check the sidelines for everything.

Iowa State's QB, Steele Jantz, caught a blitz prior to a snap. What did he do? He made a change at the line, threw a quick pass to the WR covering the blitzer and made a decent gain. What would have happened if Landry was at QB. The entire offense would look at the sidelines, get a new play, the defense would also change and then something would happen. Might have been good, maybe bad. But Landry sure as hell wouldn't have made a call at the line and exploited the situation.

In other news, I'm happy for Brennan Clay. I've never been a huge fan as, prior to this season, Clay's only real usefulness was getting three yards a carry. He was a homeless man's version of Chris "Old Steady" Brown. He's taken a huge step forward and seems to have reduced Dom Whaley and/or Roy Finch to sideline observers.

My prediction of a career day for Clay was a wild guess only for its timing. When your career long gain from scrimmage is five yards and you suddenly start rattling off 15 to 20 yarders with regularity, you're due for a breakout. If it didn't happen last week it would have happened any of the next three.

OFFENSE

The wind is going to be howling today. Nobody respects the wind more than Bobby. Josh Heupel falls right in line. Ergo, vis-a-vis, to-wit, the Sooners will rely on short passes and the run game more than anyone woud like to see. So, whilst I'm tempted to ride the B. Clay train, I'm going to pick someone from the duo of Sterling Shepard or Jalen Saunders. I think the game plan is to get those guys in the open field and let them make plays. I can't talk myself out of Saunders.

The Baylor defense is god-awful. They are slightly better than West Virigina. The Sooners should run rough shod.

DEFENSE

Well I'm going Tony Motherfuckin Jefferson today. He's going to have his hands full patrolling the middle of the football field today. If he doesn't then Baylor needs to take a hard look at their film study situation. The Cyclones only had success across the middle and they had a pretty fair amount of it last week. Tony needs to make Baylor pay for testing this area of the field.

THE SCORE

So, maybe this is a revenge game for the Sooners. Maybe it's a trap game with West Virginia next week.

Surprise, surprise. I think it's a revenge game. I like the Sooners big today. Baylor gives up 40 a game. The Sooners can exceed that at home, even with sustained gale-force winds.

I'll take the Sooners here, 63-24

Boomer to the motherfuckin' Sooner

Texas Tech

Honestly, I don't where to begin this morning. I'm still thinking about the KState game, or more accurately, I've nearly quit thinking about this season as a result. I've had on my list to get something up about the KState game for two weeks. I just really haven't had the heart to do it. It's nothing about KState in particular that I especially hate, it's the type of loss that punches my stomach like Ali. I've thought of tons of things about my OU fandom in the last week, but suffice it to say this is the nadir of my tenure as a diehard Sooner football fan.

I don't want anyone getting the idea that I'm fair-weather, band-waggoner, front-runner or any other cheap-fan adjective. Those that know me know that isn't true, but if there are doubters just know that I spend time every morning of the year following the Kansas City Royals (and enjoy the hell out of it). So maybe it's expectations that are killing me here in Sooner land. I have none in baseball, but I certainly do in the college football landscape. That's part of what comes with winning a national championship in your second year, returning three more times, and resurrecting a storied program out of rubble. Those things, along with the 10 wins that Mitch mentioned, buy Stoops the longest leash available. But if you haven't noticed a trend of playing "entitled" football over the last 6 or 7 years, you haven't been watching the same team I have.

It's no secret what my thoughts on Lonnie are. How I long for the days of Sammy B. How I long for the days of nearly any quarterback of the Stoops era (honestly, I can't think of anyone I'd choose Lonnie over, that's sad given the likes of Paul Thompson and Nate Hybl) other than Lonnie. It's hard to disassociate Lonnie from Stoops. Losing is losing. Maybe whoever takes over next season at QB (or if we hit the lottery, this year) will be stellar and Bobby will again look like a premier coach. But for now, we're stuck with ineptitude and failure at the most critical position on the field. If our coaches can't get the other 21 guys ready to roll heads, then that's on Stoops. I'm tired of looking like we don't care. I'm tired of looking unprepared for teams. I fondly remember the days (nearly a decade ago!) when we came up biggest when the spotlight was brightest. Now, I just feel defeated, constantly waiting for the river of shit to come flowing from under the covers.

Fear not, I will persevere. I will continue to watch. I will continue to scream at the TV. I will continue to have genuine disbelief when even the most predictable calamities occur. This team is my team, and though disgust I may have, I will never quit watching, caring, or following them religiously. There is a game today. In spite of my previous rambling diatribe on the disappointment that this team embodies, I feel good. I'm pumped to watch the boys play. I'm pumped to see some football on this Saturday afternoon. I'm pumped to watch OU kick the bloody shit out of Tech down in Lubbock.


Offense

This gets harder to pick every week. I really agree with Mitch that Heupel just doesn't have any ability to game-plan or prepare his players.  Much of the blame, admittedly falls on Lonnie, but still. Every time I pick someone they seem to vanish that week, so I'm trying to decide who I should eliminate from the possibility of touching the football and making forward progress. I think I'm going to go with Damien Williams. Not that I want him to disappear, I just think all of this talk about how many carries he should get means we'll force feed him the ball all day. If success follows I've got no problem with this move. He's really been our only consistent weapon on offense to date. I think he breaks at least one long run and cracks 100 yards today.

Defense

The picks don't get any easier over here. I don't know what Tech does well, nor do I care. However, I'm sure that by 6:30 EST I'll know full well. Up to now the ballyhooed (by me, I admit) return of Mike Stoops has been, ahem, underwhelming. I still feel we'll improve with him calling the shots. Today I'm getting back to square one. I'm not going to over-think it, which really means I'm going to be predictable and go with the best player we've got on the field, Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson.  I think Tony has a big day today. I'm not necessarily saying he forces a bunch of turnovers, but I think he'll be noticeably involved and light a couple of poor saps up.

Score

I'm not foreseeing a rout of any sort. I don't think we're good enough to blow anyone out. We are however, good enough to beat anyone we play. Doing so is a different matter entirely. For whatever ever reason we tend to struggle in Lubbock. That's a bad thing for this team. But, I'm optimistic we can get it done today. I think the Sooners do enough, and Lonnie is passable (get it?). OU wins 24-20. It's ugly, but at this point I'm not looking for style points.

Tip the PBR's. Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner.

OU - UTEP

It's time to get this party started.

There was this one time when the Sooners started the season on the road. They featured a much ballyhooed Quarterback who should have entered the draft the previous spring but decided to come back for his Senior season. The Sooners played an opponent of some quality but the game should not have been close. The QB went down to a season-ending injury, an inexperienced QB replaced him, the Sooners lost the game.

Let's not have that happen again.

There are only two things interesting to me about the UTEP Miners. They are coached by Mike Price. Second, the Red State portion of the Sooner fanbase (and there are many) traveling down for this one are concerned about getting caught up in some Mexican borderland violence. Nothing whatsoever on the football field for the UTEP football team intrigues me enough to even look at their roster.

I am keenly interested in the Sooner storylines. Those stories being the return of Mike Stoops, his defense, the Wide Receivers, the return of Dom Whaley, the Offensive Line and the play calling.

I'm not expecting perfection or wholesale changes to the D. But I do expect to see some brahs flying around like their hair is on fire. I want to see the promising beginning of something that, when it is firing on all cylinders, will put fear in opponents.

Offensively, it all starts up front. The O-Line has to give Lonnie time to find his new receivers. Josh Heupel needs to be clever enough to get the running game going and open everything up. It's a simple game really.

Offense

I'm going with Dom Whaley here. This is a pick from the heart. His injury last year was a crushing blow not only for the team but for a great story. Today he can get it going again. Rumor has it he looks like his old self. Why does it look like I have a plantain in my trousers?

Defense

How can I go with anyone other than Tony Motherfuckin Jefferson? He's got a new role where he's free to run roughshod. I look forward to it. Hopefully he can more than justify his selection as the first two time recipient of the MFer Award.

The Score

If this game looks anything like Taking Care of Business (dba TCB) I'll be thrilled. Of course I can't imagine anything else. I'm actually feeling pretty good about utter dominance.

OU 31 UTEP 10

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

UPDATE:

I searched the roster high and low earlier this week because I wanted to make an award for Most Likely to be Suspended for the Season Opener. I did not make a selection because I figured all the non- judeo christian youth had already been taken off the roster. But lo and behold the tradition continues with Geneo Grissom getting suspended. Good Christ it's as predictable as taxes.

The 2012 Steamers

Or some official awards name TBD.

With an eye towards kickoff let's do some prognosticating on all things Sooner football 2012.

The 2012 MFer

Let's start big here. This award has been around for years and now of course t-shirts are even made. This is the granddaddy of them all. No joke, the MFer has our utmost respect. The MFer is a leader on the football field, he's the lynchpin of the defense, he hits hard, he makes opponents gameplan around him. He is, above all else, the guy who makes plays that make you say, "Did you see [Blank] Mother Fuckin [Blank]?!"

For the first time in Mitch-Navin MFer history we have our first 2-time MFer recipient in Tony MF Jefferson (alluded to here by Nostradamus Navin). Other award winners surely were deserving of two or possibly three-time status. But Tony separated himself from a fairly tight field last year and this year there simply is nobody worthy (on paper) of taking his place. This does not mean he wins by default. It says something about his play that nobody is close enough to make a case.

So congratulations Tony!

The 2012 Old Steady

Here's where things get shaky. In fact, Navin and I have deliberated and we're going to puss out. Not entirely but we can't reach a consensus on this one so we are deferring to week 3 or 4 to make our decision. Hey, it's our blog and our awards so it's our rules. As far as I'm concerned there are only two awards that need a consensus. MFer and Old Steady. So until we have them they are unannounced.

I will attempt to sate our readerships appetite for a selection by guessing that Old Steady will ultimately come from the group of Dom Whaley, Kenny Fuckin Shitbag Stills, David King, Tom Wort, Corey Nelson, Demontre Hurst or Aaron Colvin. Happy?

Here are some awards that are completely open to our whims.

The Memorial Matt "Gas Rag" McCoy Award for the defensive player who gets torched a little too readily.

The award goes to... Tom Wort

We're humans. We hate giving this award out. But inevitably somebody on the defense is going to stick out like a sore thumb in a bad way. Last year Gabe Lynn snatched it from Javon Harris in one of the most hotly contested races in Gas Rag Award history.

Both Harris and Lynn will see plenty of action this year as well so they are by no means out of the picture. But Tom Wort sometimes looks like he's seeing a forward pass for the first time. If Jayden Bird sees significant action he instantly steals the award.

Perhaps it isn't fair to select a Linebacker. But to that I say quit telling me how awesome they are in pass coverage, or better yet, quit making them cover slot receivers running skinny posts in obvious passing situations.

Offensive Newcomer of the Year

To Trey Metoyer. The Wide Receiving unit needs a hero to replace Ryan Broyles and nobody has enjoyed the offseason ballyhoo more than Metoyer.

Defensive Newcomer of the Year

It's Chuka Ndulue by default. He's the only starter who didn't take significant snaps last year. The only other starting option is RJ Washington who is a Senior. As mentioned in previous posts, Julian Wilson or Gary Simon could also emerge here.

Most Head Scratching Depth Chart Move (View Depth Chart Here)

The omission of Roy Finch everywhere except kickoff returns. I honestly don't know how this guy starts every season in the doghouse. First I read a report the other day that he's moved to slot receiver. I thought it was a joke even though he has been used there. But he's not listed in the top 2 at any WR position. At Running Back he's not listed in the top three.

He was the second leading rusher last year and he only played six games. He was honorable mention all Big 12. When he touches the ball everyone in the stadium holds their breath. It's inexplicable.

Update: Supposedly Finch doesn't play because due to subpar QB protection blocking. Flimsy at best.

Most Likely to have Mike Stoops Living in His Earhole

So many choices here. I'm going with Gabe Lynn. He's starting at the Nickel and is going to be heavily relied on it seems. It really could be anyone in the secondary and they may wind up taking turns like everyone did last year with Soggy Box's number 12.

Most Divisive

Easy: Landry. No one will divide any fanbase quite like this guy. Each side feeds off each other too so it will only get worse. Look, he's a solid Quarterback. He's a lock to give you 60+% completion and 4,500 yards passing. He's competent OK? But if the Sooners are down with one last chance with the ball. Is he going to put the team on his back and win the thing?

Most Likely to Have Kickers Tits

You know. They guy whose moobs poke out below his shoulderpads. This year it's this guy. Eric Hosek (It would be a lock if he spelled his name Erik though).

Most Likely to Get My Father-In-Law Hot and Bothered During Pre-Game Stretch

My father in law likes to get to his seat early to watch the boys stretch. I'm half kidding and I'm cheating a little because I know him too well but my father-in-law goes ape-shit over the "length" and athleticism of Jordan Phillips.



What other categories should we have?

Oklahoma Sooners 2012 Defensive Preview

For the better part of a decade the eyes of Sooner Nation have been focused on the offensive side of the football. Year after year the tempo rose, the weapons amassed and scoring was off the charts. It was always assumed the defense would be competent enough and close enough to the championship levels of 2000 to keep opponents under 30 points. The thinking went, and rightly so, that the Sooner offense could score 30 in its sleep.

For the first time in years the hopes of a Sooner championship rest squarely on the defense. For the first time in a long while, the defense offers the best reasons for hope and optimism heading into the season. And for the first time in nearly a decade, Mike Stoops is stalking the Sooner sidelines.

To reiterate: Mike Stoops is back coaching the defense.

Stoops wasted little time making changes. Things are going to be simpler. Tony MF Jefferson is moving to Free Safety where he can patrol the secondary. It's always a good idea to have your best player be in a position to wreak havoc.

The loss of last year's most consistent defender, Jameer Nelson, stings but the Corner combo of Demontre Hurst and Aaron Colvin will still be the league's best. Colvin is poised for a breakout year. Demontre also speaks highly of Sophomore "Mayor" Julian Wilson. Stay tuned there.

Javon Harris and Gabe Lynn spent much of 2011 locked in a duel to claim the memorial Matt "Gas Rag" McCoy trophy. Lynn's contributions in the Texas Tech game were especially unwelcome.

Up front there has been some upheaval. Stacy McGee (Senior, 14 starts) has been suspended. David King will now spend more time inside rushing from the 3 Technique (football term). King was underrated in 2011 and could wind up anchoring the D-Line. RJ Washington has never lived up to the hype and he seems a bit pissed about it. Hopefully this translates to improved play on the field.

To quote the Longshoremen from Major League, "Who are these fuckin guys" sums up the rest of the D-Line. Mitch Tate, Charles Tapper and Chaz Nelson sound more like an Ivy League Coxed Pair Rowing team than Defensive Ends. Chuka Ndulue and Mike Onouha are battling for spots on the all-name team as well as for playing time at Defensive End.

Usually there are guys who feel like 8th year seniors (See: Jamarkus "Booger" McFarland) but Linebacker Jayden Bird breaks the mold. I figured he was a Junior at best but he's a Senior. Who knew? Tom Wort' s son is already being recruited but he could wreak havoc this year if he can keep from tearing a knee ligament. (Aside: How is Tom Wort a Junior and Jayden Bird a Senior? Doesn't seem right) Corey Nelson needs to live up to his potential.

And really you guys, potential is what we have to go on with the defense to start this campaign. It's all hope and optimism, raibows and unicorns. There is some quality talent and memories of crushing defenses from the early 2000's but there are some real questions on the defensive line.

My feel is that a positive attitude adjustment will by itself shave a touchdown off opponents scoring average and in the grand scheme that could be enough to make a run. If the attitude results in a bunch of baby-eaters running around with their hair on fire then so much the better. I welcome the opportunity to yell at my television in a good, nee great way.

Boomer to the motherfuckin Sooner!

OU vs. Tech

This rabid Sooner fan went to a costume ball last week instead of watching the game. Then, I fat fingered (technical term) my DVR so I pretty much got to see dick of the contest last week. I was able to make it home in time to see the second half thanks in large part to a terribly timed closing of the bar. (Note to future party planners: If you want the party to end just close the bar. It's fool-proof)  It sucked that I missed seeing Ryan Broyles smash the FBS receiving record. But, Navin offered some small measure of consolation by pointing out that, "It'll probably happen again next year".

Praise Jehovah Jireh forYouTube

I'm glad I missed the defense's uninspired first half. Lazy dumb crap wears me out more than anything anyways. The second half was where it was at on that side of the ball. 

So this week offers up a mysterious Texas Tech squad. I still have yet to figure out their identity now that Tommy Tuberville has taken over. I guess they still rack up the yards. I heard their QB is leading the league (maybe nation) in total offense. I'd look it up but it's Texas Tech. Those are 10 seconds I might not get back.

I do know Tech has lost two games in a row, presumably to the only decent competition they've faced. Those two teams are K-State and A&M which OU has not played. So, tough to compare.

All of my confidence derives from the fact that this game is at home. It's been a while since the boys played at Owen Field. It will be nice to see them again in person and I'm sure my feelings are reciprocated by the squad. Also note: Texas Tech does not play the Sooners well in Norman.

Are you picking up what I'm putting down here? These are all glad tidings.

OFFENSE

I was a great date at the costume ball. I grabbed a beer and a chair and proceeded to watch ESPN Gamecast on my phone. I was able to keep up with what has to be one of the statistically poorer games of Lonnie's career. He started off 0-4. That never happens. System QB's don't go 0-4 during any stretch in this OU offense. Quoth Charles Barkley, "That's Turrible".

A home game is the tonic for Lonnie's game. I'm not picking him though. Hell no. Navin and I are now seeing things eye to eye on Lonnie.

 You can also mark it down that whomever I pick will play sparingly, if at all, and will have little to no impact on the outcome of the football game.

So I'm picking Ryan Broyles. He's a can't miss. If he catches less than 10 balls and goes for less than 150 then I'll just yank my telegraph right out of the wall fling my iPad 2 like a frisbee and give up this weblog business. I kid. My public needs me.

DEFENSE

Jamell Fleming is out. Not that I would pick him anyways but I wanted to prove I could read the scrolling ribbon on ESPNNews. I'm happy to let Navin have dibs on Franky Alexander.

I'll go with Tony Motherfuckin Jefferson. He nearly had 4 INT's the last time the Sooners were at home. A spread attack is where he makes hay. He's a gentleman, a scholar and hell of a guy. Works for me.

THE PICK

On paper last week was business as usual and expected. Everyone knows better. The Sooners have to be more consistent and have better execution. That's bad news for Tech.

It's not as close as the score would indicate but the Sooners come out on top 42-21.

Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner. Tip them PBR's

OU vs. FSU

ESPN has themed this week, "Road Test Week". I think it should be "Statement Week".

Nothing like an early road test to send you either hurtling towards greatness or potentially derailing title hopes. Really, this sentiment is apropos for either the Sooners or the Seminoles. Who is going to take charge of their own destiny?

I'm not that nervous. Your 2011 Oklahoma Sooners are a veteran bunch and that means the world in college football.The Seminole locker room is talking about a return to glory, the Sooner players are talking about games like this being the reason they chose the Oklahoma. The X on your back, the prize in front of you, etc.

I sure do wish the Sooners had played a game last week though. Sure the bye gives you plenty of time to prepare and get people healthy but it's too early in the season for a break. You could argue that the Sooners facing each other in practice is a better test than what the Seminoles had last week but there is nothing better than game experience.

That said, I have it on good authority that these Sooners are ready for this one. If there was a game this season besides Texas that the Sooners are looking forward to it's this one. Gameday, national television at night, and a chance to show the country why they are ranked number 1.

Honestly, I haven't seen a team in the first two weeks that really stepped up and set itself apart from any other. LSU seems pedestrian. Alabama, meh. Where's the playmakers?  They are on the Sooners, damnit, and they are about to serve notice.

OFFENSE

The fundamental truth is that your stars shine brightest on the biggest stage. Baylor's Robert Griffin III is the only player I've seen really perform out of this world and in the spotlight. That changes Saturday night. Ryan Broyles is going to grab control of the Heisman race. Book it. And here's a spoiler alert: Get ready for a season of, "Can a wide receiver win a Heisman in 2011?" articles. Look, if Broyles lights it up this early in the season and has a signature performance in week 3, it's his to lose.

Now, that's not to say that this game is about Heisman front running. That's a bunch of crap. But, the Seminoles are going to throw the kitchen sink at trying to contain Broyles and if they fail (and oh! they will fail) that means they can't shut anybody else down either. That means trouble for Florida State. I am keen on trouble and havoc for Florida State. If the Sooner offensive line can keep Lonnie clean, and Lonnie can keep from smearing his own britches, the Sooners are golden.

Obviously Broyles is my pick.

I can't move on to the Defense without saying also that it's going to be huge that Dominique Whaley not be a one-hit wonder. Yes he's a Cinderella story, he came from nowhere and all that. That shit sells papers (or e-readers or whatever the fuck else). The Sooners have to have a ground game. Against Tulsa, I thought Roy Finch was suspended. I think he's back this week with a vengeance. But the Sooners must be able to run the football. I think Whaley can be better than Allen Patrick and I hope I'm right.

DEFENSE

So I was at Wakarusa this Summer and as we drive in we gave this kid a lift to his campsite and come to find out that he goes to Florida State. We should have kicked him out of the car but we're good people and we put up with his nonsense about how EJ Manuel is like Michael Vick if he made babies with Vince Young and every other run-first pass-average QB of the last twenty years. Here's the thing though; EJ Manuel is a Junior. Christian Ponder is a pussy and woefully overrated. If Manuel were "all that" he would have started. Plain and simple. You think the best quarterback on a roster isn't starting at 95% of all major colleges? Crazy talk. If you think I'm wrong that's you getting caught up in recruiting blabber. Coaches typically like their jobs. They get fired more than they quit. Playing your best players helps coaches keep their jobs. When I was watching LSU-MSU the other night ESPN compared EJ and Lonnie. EJ, for his career, has 6 TD's and 10 INT's. Dreadful on any level.

That's the key difference in this ballgame. Of course the Sooners have to, "stay disciplined", and "don't break contain" and, "know gap responsibility". All that goes without saying.

I'm nervous about the secondary of all things. Versus Tulsa, that's where the breakdowns happened. They can be corrected, of course. But the Sooners need to be the aggressor here and they need to force Manuel into some mistakes which he is clearly wont to do.

The Linebackers need to keep it up also. Whilst my colleague Navin is still not sold on Lonnie, I still don't trust Tom Wort. I'm not convinced he's a gamer. Sorry.

The OU Defensive line was much better against Tulsa than I thought they would be. They could be a serious strength and a source of headache for Offensive Coordinators. Dear God, please let that be the case on Saturday night.

I'm going to play keep up this week with my defensive pick. Frank Alexander was a man possessed against Tulsa, so I'm going with him. Buddy, you better believe the Seminole offensive line has their work cut out for them.

Before we move on, I'd just like to mention that the rumor is that none other than Tony M.F. Jefferson will be wearing Soggy Box's #12 this week. Um, I like that. Would it stand to reason that in Week 1 it's pretty obvious that you let Box's new position minder (Wort) wear #12 and in week 2 you give the honor to your defense's bellweather? That's how I'm thinking this works. From here on out it will go to the person who "grades out" the best on film until Old Steady comes back. He gets it his first week back obviously and then it's back to who deserves it the most.

THE PICK

Someone please tell me what Florida State has done to earn the #5 ranking? Sure they ended the season last year on a positive note. But they played in the ACC which. let's be honest, is barely deserving of a BCS bid if such things were determined on a yearly basis. And yeah Jimbo Fisher appears to be a rare example of the "Head Coach in Waiting" shtick actually working out. And Bobby Bowden might have given the 'Noles an emotion boost by announcing he battled cancer in recent years stoically, alone and like a man. But c'mon. This is a perfect example of why there should be no rankings until week 5. Also, if you're going to base expectations on what happened last year then shouldn't it matter if the QB who took you there is now holding a clipboard in the NFL?

I just don't see it. The crowd will be hyped but this is a business trip for the Sooners. It's not total domination but it's close.

OU 34 - FSU 24

Tip them PBR Tallboys and Boomer to the Motherfuckin Sooner

The Oklahoma Sooners vs. the Tulsa Golden Hurricanes

Welcome to the 2011 season everyone. It's the last year of the Big 12 as we know it. Collegiate Armageddon is unfolding. It feels like the perfect time for the Sooners to win Number 8.

On the heels of Navin's pointed discussion I'd like to propose a slogan for the Steamroller; "All of the Homer, none of the Homework". It really seems to fit.

I know nothing about this Tulsa team and couldn't give two craps less. I know that when I was a yute in Edmond, Oklahoma,Bill Blankenship was at the helm a then juggernaut Edmond Memorial Bulldog squad. He is now coaching the Golden Hurricane and this represents his first game coaching at the FBS (that moniker makes me want to puke) level. This bodes well for our Sooners.

Here are some other things that I like. We don't lose at home. It's the opening day of the pomp and pageantry of college football. Clear blue skies. BBQ smoke wafting through campus. Everyone in the state has been counting the days to today.

I also like the Sooner offense's potential. You start with a now veteran offensive line, mix in not one but two Heisman candidates, badass wide recievers and a stable of running backs who each bring a different style. Now give Josh Heupel the headset and it all adds up to long days for opposing defenses.

I'm really pumped about honoring Austin "Soggy" Box's memory by choosing a defensive player to sport Box's number 12. This week it's Tom Wort's turn which is a brilliant choice. Not only does Wort play Box's position but last year's "Gas Rag McGee" award winner needs to step up his play. If wearing Box's number 12 inspires Wort to do so, no better time than right out of the gate.

I'm nervous about our defense though. As Navin said, we like to give up big plays and do ill-timed, "dumb things" early in the season. This will be a good test but no way can Tulsa keep up. If Tulsa kicks field goals you can start breathing a sigh of relief.

Know what else I want to see? The Sooner kickoff coverage being worth half a shit. That would make me real happy.

OFFENSE

On offense I've got a Semi to watch Lonnie Jones fire lazerbeamz all over the football field to a slew of talented wide receivers. It's truly an embarassment of riches. Ryan Broyles is a man among boys. Kenny "Fuckin Shitbag" Stills is poised to improve on what was a stellar Freshman campaign. And a defense can't afford to sleep on DeJuan Miller, Jaz Reynolds, Trey Franks or Tight End James Hanna.

I'm even more intrigued to see how the Running Back situation plays out. Brennan Clay bears all the marks of being the next Old Steady. Roy Finch is my personal favorite. You can feel the collective breath of 85,000 fans get held every time Finch touches the ball. Roy is also a receiving threat which means lost jocks and soiled britches for defensive backs in the open field.

For my player of the game I'm going with Lonnie. He's the leader of this offense. I think he's finally ready to be the steady force this squad needs. I wouldn't be surprised to see him complete in the neighborhood of 70% of his passes today. It will be surgical domination.

DEFENSE

For all the veterans returning to this unit there are still a lot of areas that need proving. For instance, the interior defensive line. Also, how will the LB's, much less the entire D, play without their leader, Travis "Old Steady" Lewis?

The good news for Brent Vanables is that the talent on this side of the football is prodigious. To hear Venables tell it he's had a difficult task finding room for all his exceptional playmakers.

The choice for Defensive Player of the Game has to come from Ronnell "The Hammer" Lewis, Corey Nelson, Tony "Motherfuckin" Jefferson, Demontre Hurst or Jamel Fleming. I can't in good conscience stray from Tony M.F. Jefferson in the opener. Navin and I picked him for a reason and I'm eager to see how much bigger, faster and better he is this year.

THE PICK

Tulsa's offense could be God's gift to football and they still won't be able to match the Sooner offense on this day. The Sooner D will have its' unfortunate share of foibles. In the end the faithful go home early and happy.

OU 55, Tulsa 24

Don't forgot to drink your PBR Tallboys

Boomer to the Motherfuckin' Sooner

Tony Motherfuckin' Jefferson

Congratulations to Tony Jefferson, our 2011 M.Fer award winner. As Navin said, choosing a Sooner who embodies the ideals of the award is not something we take lightly. The M.F.er wreaks havoc on the football field, runs around like his hair is on fire, "brings his lunchpail" and is a man among boys. An M.F.er's enthusiasm and tenacity defines the defense. His style of play compels you to shake your head and ask the person closest to you (or maybe to no one at all, but aloud), "Did you see that play that Tony Motherfuckin Jefferson just made?"

Here's a taste of why Tony Motherfuckin Jefferson was the choice. Caution: "It's" gonna move a little and you're going to get some goosebumps.